The Window Display of the Soul
I am looking at myself,
Looking at the words
That I bedeck this almanac with,
Akin to a window-shop display
Of my thoughts that I found
Prose-like and pretty,
And I now wonder whether
These words truly
After some contemplation
The truth is deceptively easy,
That, no, these words are not me
But they are what I would like to be.
Salesmanship and self-delusion. We all have a certain level of salesmanship. I think it is inherent in most people, that we would like people to think of us in the best way possible. And indeed, it is true even for our own self knowledge. We are our own shopkeeper, and we decorate the window-shop of our soul with pretensions of virtue, and we are also the customer of this products of self delusion.
I am thinking of this because of the simple words; "I believe in God." And after some contemplation, I must admit that my level of belief in God rises and ebbs according to my tide of fortune. I would like to be constant and steady, but no. At an intellectual level, yes, but not on a moment-by-moment impassioned way, to live my life in the constant assurance of His existence and what He has promised humanity.
Belief is not a destination but a journey. This in itself is not a bad thing, I guess. For I do believe that complete belief is reserved only for the Prophets of God, and the best and highest form of belief in God is in the conduct and manners of Muhammad Habibullah (saws), our most beloved and the last of the Prophets of God. So now, when I am thinking or talking, I am careful with the words, "I believe in God." Saying or thinking these words as honest as I can, and asking God to bring me closer to the completeness of belief, to the sweetest of His Truth, which is exemplified in the Prophet (saws). Phew... that is a big, cosmic level prayer. But even an infinite journey begins with a single step, yes?
Abang Shem. I would like to end this posting with a sad news of the passing of my beautiful cousin, Mohamed Zaid bin Zainal, known to me as Abang Shem. He passed away on Sunday morning. I will write of him when I am more calm and collected. May Allah (swt) accept him and bring him to the Divine Presence in the company of Nabi Muhammad (saws).
wa min Allah at-taufiq
Hate has no place in Islam
Love will show the Way