The Irritating Thing About Being 'Right' - The Human Ego and Its Diabolical Pretense of Right and Wrong

Muhammad the Prophet prophesied (that being what Prophets do) that there will come a time in the future (ergo, now) when his followers will wake up a believer and go to sleep an unbeliever. And the next morning he may wake up as an unbeliever, but goes to bed a believer. This is not talking about someone taking up or dropping the religion of Islam per se, but about the degrees by which we allow our ego to dictate our action and our words. And it would be very foolish to think that in 'good deeds' and even in our prayers that we are somehow immune to our ego. Our ego will take whatever credit it can in everything we say and do. Whether we are performing our pilgrimage, building an orphanage or writing a blog.

When Muslims bears witness that there is no god but God, it also means that there is no ego but God's ego. After all, He owns everything so He is justified to claim thus. Fortunately, mankind benefits that God's ego is reflected in His Divine Attributes of the Loving, the Most Gracious and Most Merciful Creator. Our ego is nothing like that at all. It is our numero uno enemy, if we allow it to control us.

Many friends say that I am often condescending, and I am unable to hide my feelings if I feel that someone said something wrong, stupid or simply boring. But nothing stirs my gut more then when I read the ridiculous pronouncements of professional God-botherers and preachers who have anointed themselves as God's representatives on this world. I wouldn't mind this really, if they are a nice sensible lot. But some of them are, hmm... how shall I put this politely, two cents short of a dollar. And when they say what they say, it is not good for me, because my ego would be strumming on the boardwalk of my mind, happy at not being wrong. Happy at the sight of the 'others' being foolish...

1. Maddening declarations of bookish scholars

I wish they would just keep quiet,

And attend to more useful charity,

Than their common cause and

Mad judgments, all in the

Name of their piety.

For it does my ego

No good at all.

It is hard enough to keep

My feet on the ground these days,

Without bookish scholars

Making maddening declarations,

Thus feeding my ego,

Who is telling me now,

“Oohh… How stupid are they,

How bright and wise am I!!”

So I am forced to count

How delightfully dumb I am,

Just so I can keep

My ego down…

And I don’t like to do this!!!

Hehehe. I am never satisfied, am I? Not satisfied whether I am right or wrong. I don't think I shall ever be truly happy, not until the day comes and I am (hopefully) brought before the Divine Presence and the Throne, and there I will lay my soul and my ego before the Most Beloved and Most Loving, asking for merciful intercession from the one whose ego never ruled his soul.

Have a soulful day, my brother and sister. God bless you.

Pax Taufiqa.

Money, Good Friends, Closet Sufis and the Angelic Audience

Look at him! His impudence is really too much. Writing as if he can see us!

260. Selling my words

For two days already,

I have been selling my words,

For glasses of tea and packets of cigarettes.

I feel a little guilty,

But not enough

To feel shame.

What a brigand and a bum am I!

And how glad am I to be one!

For what we steal and speak of

Cause Angels themselves to pause and sit in!

Now if only I can find a way to charge

These Angelic audiences…

A FRIEND IN NEED. ME. I was a little broke for a couple of days. But I still like having my chai at the neighbourhood Indian Muslim restaurant. So being the pragmatic and unprincipled rogue that I am, I simply went through my little black book and called up old friends that I have not seen in a while. Often they would not only pay for my cups of tea, they would also cover my meal, and sometimes even my fags (cigarettes). I am incorrigible, I know.

THE CRAZY ONES. My favourite collection of friends are the crazy ones. Well, not actually insane, but the sort that I could be truly honest with, especially in the topic of religion, spirituality, love, God, Prophets and saints. They tend to be humble, but most of all never boring and always funny, often making themselves the brunt of their own jokes. Some people call them Sufis. They deny it of course, but I can see through their pretensions of not being Sufis. They are rarely judgmental. Sometimes I can have a huge chip on my shoulder, a fuming volcano of dissatisfaction about something or someone. I would talk to them and with empathy, they would pop my balloon of anger / envy / jealousy. These are the sort of friends that EVERYONE should have. They won't allow you to wallow in your pit of negativity. And they certainly are not those who would make things worse by goading your ego. With a smile and a gentle hand on  your shoulder they would make you see that the world is in truth beautiful, all things are happening as they are fated to, and God is always smiling upon us. With my hand on my heart, I wish upon you such good friends. Amen.

THEM ANGELS. I have no doubt that the Angels are listening in. But sadly I am unable to cadge anything from them. After all, they don't drink, eat or sleep. And I don't think they smoke. There is absolutely no point to ask them for anything. But maybe they can put in a good word for me with  THE FRIEND OF FRIENDS... aka God.

Have a friendful day, sunshine! 

Pax Taufiqa.

Hubris and Hatred in Norway - My Religion Your Religion

14. My Religion Your Religion

It is crazy for us

To be arguing about

The Sea.

The Sea is there,

Beautiful and bountiful,

To play and swim in

With delight!

It does not make

Any sense at all

For us to quarrel,

When we are both

Standing at

The Sea’s edge.

Unless of course,

We see no Sea.

Then it is a psychological problem.

And has absolutely nothing to do

With the Sea nor our differing

Names and maps of the Sea.

Don’t you see?

We are not asking you to change. We are not asking you lose your religious identity. Indeed, we exalt in how you call upon the same One God that all humanity worships. It is different, the humming is different, the postures are not alike. But it is still the Creator that we all worship, seeking solace, and hope to return to one day.

In my country, some of the Catholics are asking for the right to call God by the name of Allah. In another country, I see their brethren telling them to stop this habit of calling God by the name of Allah. And I prefer the first Christians, because they are aware that by whatever name we call Him, He is our Most Beloved Creator. The Perfect Artist, the Sublime Ocean in which our passion and reason swims in.

If there is anything that differentiates us, it is the station of servanthood to God and to Men. The well from which springs all that is good and beautiful in us all. 

That thing which happened in Oslo. It is the opposite of all that is good in religion. And I, as a Muslim, knows that this is not what Jesus, the Prince of Peace taught his followers. So I beg you to acknowledge that the bandits disguised as 'Muslim' extremists are not adhering to what, Muhammad, Mercy to the Worlds, taught his followers. If just you and me can agree on this basic point, we will come a long way swimming into the Ocean of Mercy, and into the Divine Embrace of He Who is the Lord of us all. Why waste time arguing at the shore, the kindergarten of religion for bullies and crybabies, when there is an Infinite Ocean of Unity to swim in? The Oneness of God is the salvation for us all...

May God guide the Norwegians (and really, all of us) in this trying times.

Pax Taufiqa.

Your Charity and Empathy - One Day Your Senses Will Bear Witness

90. No joy in any of your senses

And if you cannot stand

What people speak?

Perhaps one day,

You will lose your ears…

And if you cannot stand

Seeing what people do?

Perhaps one day,

You will lost your eyes…

And if you stand aside

And ignore someone in need?

Perhaps one day,

You will lost your limbs,

And if you do all of the above,

Feeling proud and merciless,

Perhaps one day,

You may find yourself

Heartless…

And though you still keep

Your ears, eyes and limbs,

Perhaps that day
You will find no more joy

In any of your senses…

The conscience never tires of counselling us towards charitable actions and words. Even in the heart of the Scrooge there is a glimmer of hope. But if we make it a habit to ignore the voice of our conscience and listen to our ego, then a time may come when we are unable to distinguish where we end and our ego begins. We have become our ego, and it is a creature not inclined to follow the admonition of our hearts which is selfless, since by its very nature our ego is constantly wilful. 

I am recently informed that every day 15,000 people die of starvation. Now that is a lot of mouths to feed. But in the age of mass and intensive production of food, this is an abject shame for all of us. But my ego is constantly saying, "Aah... you have enough problems earning money for the business. You are not Santa Clause... you are not a miracle worker. If all the wise and good people in the world cannot overcome this problem, what makes you think you can?" 

Thank you, sunshine for being better than me. I am sure, big or small, you will always try to help a friend (and even an enemy) in need. Perhaps you are living amidst great deprivation and poverty, and every day you spare some change for the beggar living down the street. Or perhaps you are one of those NGOs trying to pry some money from a government more interested in bombs and big projects. Alternatively, you could be one of those selfless anonymous souls, working in a large business enterprise and trying to publicise the need of orphans and the neglected elderly.

People such as you do not have to worry about not finding joy in your senses, for your senses themselves are joyful in the good work that you do. And on that fated day when you are asked to account for your life by God Himself, your senses will reply on your behalf...

Your Senses Bear Witness

O' Lord of the Senses,

This servant of yours used...

Our sight, to seek the needy,

Our hearing, to listen with empathy

And our limbs to give alms and charity

To Your other servants who

Are forever in need of Your Mercy.

When this servant did all

These beautiful deeds -

To feed the poor,

To guide the blind,

To be a teacher unto orphans,

A voice for the powerless,

And a crutch for the lame,

We bear witness, O' Lord,

That he used us, his senses,

In Your Blessed Name.

Have a charitable day, sunshine.

Pax Taufiqa.

The Sinners' Guide on How to Die with a Smile on Your Face - Man, Woman and the Nature of Love and God

And this is where all the problems started...

1. Whoever were you?

O’ Taufiq,

Whatever were you?

Whoever were you?

How could you ever be

Anything or anyone,

Before in your life,

I came to be?

O’ Taufiq,

What delight did you feel?

What joy did you drown in,

Before you knew Me?

Whatever you were,

Whoever you were,

It matters not.

Not now,

Not now that you are

Finally with Me.

Your life,

And your memory

Begins now, o’ Taufiq,

With Me.

Some women are queer folk. And if you happen to have had a girlfriend before or worse still a wife(!), they are queerer still. You would suggest, “Let’s have a drink here.” Only for your better half to reply, “No. You used to have your dinner with what’s-her-name there.” Oh. Then you would say something utterly nondescript like, “I have seen loads of The 70s Show…” (that TV sitcom) only for her to say, “Yes, yes. I know you really enjoyed watching it with HER.”



You have been found guilty of the
 appalling sin of existing before
I came into your life. What do
you have to say for this
unforgivable crime?



Such is the strange emotions that circulate in their veins that sometimes I think you have committed the gravest sin before her eyes for SIMPLY EXISTING before she ever came into your life. That was the amusing thought percolating through my soul when the above prose was recorded some 2 years ago.

But women can also have the uncanny ability to make you feel REALLY good. I think I mentioned this before in an earlier post (God knows when…) - Heche and I rarely have any transcendental discourse about the meaning of life and God, but one day she was musing about my writing and made this observation – “You know, I really don’t know sometimes whether you are writing about me or about God.”

And that is the whole point of this writing and blogging obsession of mine. And I am glad that at least one person on earth have learnt this. If I was to die at this very moment, I would be contented. My own happy smile would be the wreath at my funeral as I recall her word, “…I really don’t know sometimes whether you are writing about me or about God.”


Purrr...You still are!



But men can be real queer too. We really MUST buy something if the salesgirl is awfully pretty. We suddenly decide that sky-diving is a good idea at the age of 40. We believe that a problem will go away if we JUST procrastinate enough. We think that eating bits of rare animals (Tiger, Bears, Elephants…) will improve our sexual prowess. But I guess most of all, we are queerly fixated by woman herself. Right from the time of our grandfather, Adam, we are dangerously obsessed by her guile and utterly baffling mannerism. So much so that she is able to challenge us, “Well, if I am queer, and you want me still… what does that make you?”

“Oh. I am just curious…” You can reply.

“Well look at what curiosity did to the cat. Killed it.“ She would then retort, hopefully with a wry smile.

Then if you would take my suggestion, gently bring your arm around her waist and closely embrace your woman, and huskily reply in the best nonchalant tone you could muster, “Look, honey. I will die one day. At least this way I will die smiling.”



You can't see, but I am actually smiling...

And that is why our connection with woman is intrinsically connected with our connection to Life, Death, Love and God. Don't you agree?

Have a happy Monday, sunshine.

wa min Allah at-taufiq.

Over a Lonely Cup of Tea, Just God and Me

Tea, my Lord?

Over a Lonely Cup of Tea

With people I have great happiness,

The laughter, the smiles,

The sharing of my days and nights,

The recalling of our fears and tears,
And how things always turn out better.

But when I wake in the morning,

When I am fresh and free

From the sin of being distracted,

It is God who is my best company.

Over a lonely cup of tea,

Just God and me,

I did not call Him,

I did not ask for a meeting,

Often He would simply come unannounced,

Surprising me and whispering, “Miss Me?”

Oh Secret Rapture in my Morning...

Over a lonely cup of tea,

Just You and me,

Dear God,
-     Sometimes I think I am terribly indiscreet. Sort of like kissing and telling. But I don't own you, God. I have no claim over You, while You have all the claim over me. And really, if you wanted me to stop writing this almanac, it is verily within Your power to do so. You need only to stop gazing at me for a moment, and me and all my sordid stories would perish in the blink of an eye. This world, for me, would cease to exist, and I, Taufiq Your sinner, would have been unmade, undone.

- Dear God, I remember a judge who was once passing sentence when he quoted an old Latin phrase, "Whom the gods would destroy, they first make mad." (Quem deus vult perdere, dementat prius). I think I am a little unhinged by You. Because I read in the newspapers the long sad story of humanity, and their unending anger, hate, hubris and conflict. Then I think of You, and wonder how one can be connected to the other. How man in his madness were ever made in the Likeness of You. This world is turning upside down because they are forgetting You.

- God, if only they were to remember their birth and their mother's love, surely they would not have forgotten You. If only they remember the countless times You intervened into their fate, giving them a little rain to avoid the flood, giving them a little thirst to avoid the drought, giving them a little taste of hate, to understand the Overwhelming Truth of Love. But they do not recollect Your unfailing attention to them, calling such things 'luck', 'coincidences' and 'fate'. Giving thanks to something which does not appreciate their gratitude, while You, my Beautiful Lord, await their attention and their little thanks that they offer You for Your Immeasurable Gift to them and to all humanity.

- Dear Beloved God, I am the worst of my kind. I am the despair of those who love me. I am a recalcitrant sinner. But I remember You. And though I do not see You at all, I feel You in everything...

My Beloved Lord, my Beloved Earth and Sky, my Beloved Moon, my Beloved Sun, My God... the One, the Glittering All in my eye.

Sincerely,

TK

The Responsibilities of Husband and Wife

37. Responsibilities of husband and wife

It is sometimes said that

The responsibility of

A husband is greater than

The responsibility

Of the wife.

But how heavy is

The wife’s responsibility

To accept the husband

When she thinks

He is wrong

In his responsibilities?

O’ Adam,

Make it not difficult

For Hawa to perform her duties,

O’ Hawa,

Make is not difficult

For Adam to perform his duties,

And verily,

In the Lord of Adam and Hawa

You will find eternal recompense

For what patience both of you show!

I am not married. I once was, and I have a son to prove for it. My client jokingly likes to call me 'recycled goods'. I myself used to refer to myself as 'damaged' with 'reasonable wear and tear'. But I think I am neither. I am just me, one of many hundreds of million or perhaps billion of souls out there hoping one day for an opportunity to marry.

I hope to be a good husband one day. As you too perhaps hope to be a good hubby or wife. It is not the easy path, but if you choose this way, then I wish you all the best and may you find the wisdom and patience to gain the eternal recompense of the Lord of Adam and Eve. I am thinking about all this because within this one year, a bushel of friends are planning to get hitched. Jolly exciting stuff!

God bless you, sunshine.

Pax Taufiqa.