Whirling and Loving in the Last Quarter of Time

After we perished, we returned and we whirled

We perished, did we not?

When life appeared unfair and

Sadness fell like rain from the heavens

Leaving puddles of sorrow all around us.
Friends came visiting to wish us well,
Unknowing that they were consoling
An empty shell.

We died, did we not?

When hateful thoughts and bombs left

In buses, trains, marketplaces and falling from the sky

Took away our children, our fathers and mothers,

Our life reflected in the mirrors of our beloved,

Now cracked, broken and buried

In the meadow and sand dunes of our pain,

While orphans and widows turn to us crying, "Why?"

We were lost, were we not?

No humour amused us,

No song calmed us,

No balm soothed us.

We were simply blown away, were we not?

By the rising storm from the east,

By the despairing horde from the south,

By the lords of the north and west,

Where has gone the light of the universe?

Where is the orphan from the desert?

Where is the Moon above Medina?

Where is Layla and her Majnun?

From this despair we return;
We are now whirling,
We are now loving,

Expelling the death of hope,

Turning aside the defeat of humanity,

Ending the famine of mercy,

Watering the drought of love,

We are struggling, are we not?

We are asking, ‘Forgive us’

We are pleading “Do not forsake us, o' Lord’

We are begging, 'This way that You love us,

Do not ever stop...'

How needful are we for You,

Are we not?

O' God?

Sinner. Do not worry, sunshine. If I could whirl, I would not write. If I was so busy 'being good' I would not spend so much time in the grubby confines of the sinners' almanac. Things are difficult, but perhaps things were never so easy to begin with.

Still around. It is coming to the end of 2011, and soon the Christians will celebrate Christmas, and later in 2012, it shall be the turn of the Chinese to celebrate their new year. Thank you for still being around, my friends. Thank you for sticking with it, for rising up however fate has put you down, for facing the big and small adversities of your life with patience and submission.

End of Time. People worry about the end of time, and there are pundits out there whose sole job is to chronicle the passing of Armageddon's milestones. I do not have the talent nor the sheer chutzpah for that. My job is only to write and remind myself how beautiful this world is, how it can still be preserved and how there exist still millions upon millions of people out there, whom without funfair or grand gestures continue to live their days, making beautiful changes, and sparking a beautiful light in the lives of those whom they touch.

I appreciate all that you are, and all that you are trying to be. God bless.

wa min Allah at-taufiq

Hate has no place in Islam

Love will show the Way

Don't Box Me In

85. Some Men

Some men are always sober

So that others might drink

Some men are always senseless

So that others might think

Some men are always beggars

So that others might be obliging.

Differences. We cannot all be rich. We cannot all be smart. And alas, we are not all sober ALL the time. There is a balance to be maintained, between the haves and have-nots, between the smart and smart-nots. And there is nothing better to maintain this balance and bridge the gap then empathy and charity. Charity not just in material terms, but through physical and spiritual aid, and perhaps most fundamentally, by investing your time - The only resource in the world that you cannot replenish by purchasing it from any one else.

Boxing Dreams. It is however wrong to box people in. People have a right to determine their dreams and no one should stand in the way of their ambition. So if you are poor, you might be rich someday, if you are uneducated, you might pass university one day, and if you have no property, you may own a house in the future, however big or small it would be.

Inequalities. There are structural obstacles in your socio-political and economic spheres. And that is already a difficult hurdle to jump - You come from the wrong neighbourhood, you are not educated in the 1st tier schools, you are unable to get into university or you cannot even get your foot in the job interview door, because of your religion, colour or ethnicity.

Society. The problem is often systemic and it is difficult to repair it. I hope that one day we will be able to say with pride that we are offering a fair and reasonable chance for every man, woman and child to achieve their dreams - not to be what society chooses for them, but to be the very best in the dream career / business that they choose to chase after, even if it means breaking out of the box that society constantly try to shutter them in.

Individuals. Big words, but as a fool myself, I rue the day when I first began to limit my own dreams and ambition, imprisoning my future, chaining my fortune to misconception of my own abilities. So I understand now that the change must happen both externally and internally. As God's wisdom is often quoted to me - Allah changeth not the condition of a folk until they (first) change that which is in their hearts(extracted from Verse 13:11. Marmaduke Pickthall translation)....

Have a lovely Friday, sunshine.

wa min Allah at-taufiq

Hate has no place in Islam

Love will show the Way

Price Discovery and Price Propaganda - Sinners' Dictionary

Financial and Economic Analysis is...

Price Propaganda disguised

As Price Discovery.

I touched on this point in the last posting and I think this interesting topic deserves further elaboration. Why? Because it is the holidays, most of my clients are away sunning themselves on a beach or prepping their resumes for the annual job migration that comes after the announcement of bonuses - I have the time.

Price Discovery. In the days of old, when dinasours ruled the planet and Taufiq was studying 'A' Levels economics we had this thing called price discovery. The simple theory is that price of an item or service is discovered where the supply of such things meets demand in the x/y graph.

This theory, in theory, is effective where there is perfect disclosure of information and no barriers of trade, which can be in the way of import duties as well as technical barriers of entry - for instance, a rule that the bananas to be imported and sold must be straight and not curvy whatsoever, or that a car must meet a particular exhaust emission standards.

Disenchantment #1. The first reality-check I have come across is, sadly, that human communication is not perfect that way. Never was. Not just about financial or economic information. Things get lost or distorted in the transmission of any type information, "Yes, yes... don't worry. Her cousin is very pretty!". 

Disenchantment #2.The second reality-check is that people are wise to this distortion and have found ways not to just inform the market, but actually manipulate the market. And of course, people will do so in the manner that best suits their interest in the troika of the equity, debt and currencies market. Things were never perfect to begin with but the growth of derivatives have multiplied the profit and risk exponentially. For instance, do you know that the oil derivative futures market is actually bigger than actual trading in the global oil market? So the tail is now wagging the dog. And the tail is BIGGER than the dog.

Price Propaganda. Whether it is central banks, brokerage firms, rating agencies, investment banks, university economic faculties, 'thinktanks', monetary authorities or international financial organisations, at the end of the day, press statements, research reports and analyses are created according to their individual agendas, each party generating its own disinformation that best advances its respective goals - Price propaganda.

Chaos. In the traditional world of supply and demand, it is difficult to make obscene amounts of money without actually manufacturing / building / growing something that people wants to buy. So to liven things up and to allow banks to make tonnes of money shuffling paper, the financial industry has essentially engineered magical financial products, so complicated and so leveraged that even professionals find it hard to find out the degree of liability involved or where the liabilities are in fact parked or hidden. I may be wrong, but I don't think that such complexities were accidentally generated. It is only in the dark realms of financial chaos and anarchy that dynastic fortunes are made. Someone somewhere is benefiting from this man-made confusion. It began in Wall Street and the City of London, and the contagion is spreading... 

The Temple of Greed

Once upon a time, 

Jesus chased the moneylenders out of the temple. 

Now the entire world is their temple

The Good News. I hate ending on a depressing note, so this is the good news - You. Because there is someone out there as kind, sensible, generous, fair-minded and obviously as good-looking as you. We can make a change, we can make amends. We can still choose prudence over consumerism, community over individual self-interest, charity over selfishness, love over hubris and certainty over doubt. For even if the selfish ones have spread the religion of greed, it is based on falsehood, and falsehood never lasts. I rest the future of the world on the conscience of your present and in the lessons of your past. I know you will choose well.

wa min Allah at-taufiq

Hate has no place in Islam

Love will show the Way

footnote: The eye-candy in this posting is my aunt, Mak Ndak, pictures taken by her granddaughter, Balqies Arafia Zaid.

Change, Jihad-ul Akbar, and the Dream that Lasts Forever

We are living in too much fear. We open the newspapers and what do we find? People are protesting and dying all over the world, the price of oil is going up, international bankers are lending to each other to prop up the price propaganda of the equity and debt markets, movie stars betraying each other and going to jail, floods, earthquakes, landslides and typhoons destroying lives and property, the unemployment rates are rising, riots in cities, wars and civil unrests, terrorists are everywhere, analysts forecast a weaker global economy, recession, double dip recession, institutionalised and ad-hoc corruption, and there is not even a good program on tv.

Inter spaced between these bad news are advertisements quietly unsettling your contentment - I already have a pair of shoes. But there is a new style/colour out. Buy! Buy! Buy! I already have a handphone, But now there is one that can talk back to me. Buy! Buy! Buy! I already have a car. But now there is a better model and it looks awesome. Buy! Buy! Buy!

Squeezed between the fear generated by both mainstream/alternate media and the discontentment which is the product of consumerism's marketing, I am really surprised as to the number of sane people I come across every day. Sensible, thoughtful and prudent. It is from them that I take my lessons of life and not from the news organisation nor the marketers of dreams with expiry dates. For I want my dreams to last forever.

While we can opt out of the mainstream media and surf the internet for alternative points of view, it is not good enough. For even alternative news sites have their agendas. Change is an organic thing, like quitting smoking, better diet, and more exercise. And change is a fundamentally spiritually thing, like praying and fasting, doing charity work, dzikr (remembrance of God) and salawat (praising the Prophet) and just being nice to everyone. We have to stop blaming other people for the troubles of this world and start changing ourselves. This is the Jihad-ul Akbar, the Great(est) Struggle. It sounds holy fancy and operatic, but the truth is, success in the Great Struggle is built upon small personal changes.

Go on... try to make that change. The operative word here being 'try', because after all, if it was easy it would not be called a struggle. God will not judge you for failing, He will love you for trying. Have a beautiful day, sunshine.

wa min Allah at-taufiq

Hate has no place in Islam

Love will show the Way

The House of Ego - Your Ungrateful Friend and Teacher...

17. House of Ego

Your ego is an ingrate.

Having ridden you

To despair’s end,

You run to his house begging entry,

“O’ ego! Give me shelter and rest, please”

In a furtive voice behind the door he replies;

“Go away! You are carrying the stink of your conscience.

Come back once you have forgotten your guilt.

Then we can parta-aay once again!”

The ego is a cunning creature. But it can also be overpowering and as overwhelming as a volcano. The ego may come unto you furtively, sliding close to your side, whispering sweet nothings, rationalising and giving a thousand and one reasons why you ought to do what your heart tells you not to do. Or the ego may come like a tide, sweeping you in a moment of passion, masquerading as your heart, lust or greed masked in the happenstances of love.

The ego is ungrateful. But however the ego moves you, once it has completed its task, it leaves you alone to mind your broken peace, your broken heart in miserable solitude. If you come to your ego for comfort, it will turn you away like a beggar. The ego will bide its time when you have passed through your sea of sorrow and regret. And if you forget your lesson, your ego will hook you once again with its bait of pride, lust, greed, envy, hubris and self-satisfaction.

Without the ego, we cannot learn humility. I cannot tell you how to learn your lesson, for we all have our path to face our ego along different milestones in our journey. It is not one single victory or defeat that will damn our happiness in this life. It is forgetfulness. The ego has already been cowed by God Almighty. Now it is through the ego and our interaction with it that we too shall learn our own humility and servanthood. For without darkness, who will recognise light? And if there is no sour, where is the sweetness? This is what I term 'tough love'. Tough but STILL love...

One day, we shall finish our school of life, may we come out of it as good servants to God and Mankind.

Have a helpful day, sunshine. God bless.

wa min Allah at-taufiq

Hate has no place in Islam

Love will show the Way

Another Whimsical Observation About Mikhail, Age 7

I took Mika to Toys 'r' Us recently, and he bought a Lego Hero Factory robot. He was quite keen to purchase a toy, any toy really, so I let him. I don't often encourage him to buy toys because frankly, he often gets bored with them and ends up playing with an old deck of cards, imagining stories and making up heroes and villains in an epic battle of good vs bad, with 'chooch... shoooh... ' laser sounds and effects. His imagination, like all children's, are not limited by the toy designers of this world. And that is simple wonderful, don't you think?

I was complaining morosely to Mika last night. "This Friday nobody will be around. You are leaving me for Universal Studios, Singapore (his mom and his new stepdad, Herman is taking him) and Heche is going away too! (She is driving up to the northern state of Perlis for Fifi and Khaled's engagement.)" He looked at me and asked, "You mean that you will be alone? What about Bibik, Tokwan (my dad) and Pak Poon (my brother, Saiful)?"

"Oh no, of course they will still be around." I replied.

"Papa, if no one is around, I won't go to Singapore. I will stay with you, you know... Honest!"

Dammit. I am gonna miss the little monkey.

Wa min Allah at-taufiq.

Hate has no place in Islam.

Love will show the Way.

The Essence of God and the Nature of Knowledge - God's profile and persona

WHO IS GOD? We are not talking about God per se. We are talking about representations of God as how God deems it fit to disclose to us. And I think that God, in His Wisdom chooses to disclose to us according to His Plan, however good or bad, wise or stupid we think we may be.

HE IS WHAT HE SAYS HE IS. Such disclosure is not of His Essence, such disclosure is as how He chooses to build His profile. You know, its like Facebook. Your profile and your internet persona is not you. Simply what you choose for people to know. Same thing with creation and the knowledge within creation, it is whatever God chooses to fill in and any Divine information outside creation remains forever unknown, unless of course, God decides to 'update' His profile or to make public (at least to you). We have no choice about this, really. His world, His rules...

IMAM GHAZALI AND THINKING GOOD. In Imam Ghazali's great opus, the Ihya Ulum-id-din, the great soul referred to mankind's innate curiosity about their Maker. And so we are invited to reflect and contemplate upon the immeasurable magnificence of God's handiwork in our world, and the many, many Divine Attributes that is reflected in the wonder and mystery of creation. But there is a threshold which we are unable to cross. In the words of Imam Ghazali himself (May God sanctify his secrets)...

"The Almighty enjoined us to do good and He Praises those who think good. He says; They remember Allah standing, sitting and lying on their sides and think of the creation of the heavens and earth : O God, Thou hast not created this in vain. Hazrat Ibn Abbas said : A party of man were thinking of God, when the Prophet said : Ponder over the creation of Allah, and don't ponder over Allah because you cannot realise His power."

YOUNGER ME. When I was younger I considered this rule to be a little demotivating. Of course, I would like to know God. And if it means to know the very Essence of God, why not? Ah, the passionate young. What a fool I was.

OLDER ME. Now, much older, and perhaps less foolish, I am more accepting of the Prophet's caution. For the more I appear to learn about people, about society, about the natural world and the workings of the human ego, spirit, conscience and heart, the more certain I am that I in fact know very, very, very little about anything really.

THE RIGHT QUESTION TO ASK. But the good thing is that even this vague acknowledgement of not-knowing-anything-really has given fruit to some pretty darn good thoughts and emotion about this world, its inhabitants and of course, ultimately about God and His Prophet. This is my kernel of an echo of knowledge, me, a sinner. For you, sunshine... ah, such sublime knowledge and pleasure is yours for the asking. You need only to know the right questions.

What are the right questions to ask yourself? Well, we have to start with the basics, of course. Try asking yourself this..

Who am I?

You? You are an uber-cute baby, Emina.

May your day today bring you self-knowledge and a better understanding of the Lord.

wa min Allah at-taufiq.

Hate has no place in Islam.

Love will show the Way.