THE WINDOW DISPLAY OF THE SOUL... belief is not a destiny but a journey

The Window Display of the Soul

I am looking at myself,

Looking at the words

That I bedeck this almanac with,

Akin to a window-shop display

Of my thoughts that I found

Prose-like and pretty,

And I now wonder whether

These words truly

Represent me,

After some contemplation

The truth is deceptively easy,

That, no, these words are not me

But they are what I would like to be.

..........................

Salesmanship and self-delusion. We all have a certain level of salesmanship. I think it is inherent in most people, that we would like people to think of us in the best way possible. And indeed, it is true even for our own self knowledge.  We are our own shopkeeper, and we decorate the window-shop of our soul with pretensions of virtue, and we are also the customer of this products of self delusion. 

I am thinking of this because of the simple words; "I believe in God." And after some contemplation, I must admit that my level of belief in God rises and ebbs according to my tide of fortune. I would like to be constant and steady, but no. At an intellectual level, yes, but not on a moment-by-moment impassioned way, to live my life in the constant assurance of His existence and what He has promised humanity.  

Belief is not a destination but a journey. This in itself is not a bad thing, I guess. For I do believe that complete belief is reserved only for the Prophets of God, and the best and highest form of belief in God is in the conduct and manners of Muhammad Habibullah (saws), our most beloved and the last of the Prophets of God. So now, when I am thinking or talking, I am careful with the words, "I believe in God." Saying or thinking these words as honest as I can, and asking God to bring me closer to the completeness of belief, to the sweetest of His Truth, which is exemplified in the Prophet (saws). Phew... that is a big, cosmic level prayer. But even an infinite journey begins with a single step, yes?

Abang Shem. I would like to end this posting with a sad news of the passing of my beautiful cousin, Mohamed Zaid bin Zainal, known to me as Abang Shem. He passed away on Sunday morning. I will write of him when I am more calm and collected. May Allah (swt) accept him and bring him to the Divine Presence in the company of Nabi Muhammad (saws).

al fatiha

wa min Allah at-taufiq

Hate has no place in Islam

Love will show the Way

THE LONELY SHORE - of certainties and openness

The Lonely Shore

I am a lonely shore,
A sandy bank
By a deep, rich sea.
All manner of people walk on me,
Leaving their footprints
Coming out of the waves,
Their enduring wandering
Ending Hu knows where.

In the imprints in my heart
I can see their path
And the beliefs
They say they believe in.

But I cannot live
On another person's belief,
So I ask that God Almighty
Give me my own belief'
To believe in,

And not leave me
Forever a lonely shore,
A sandy bank
By a deep, rich sea.
......................

Keep it open. Do not close your heart, sunshine. Do not say or act, "Yup, I know it all. I don't need to know anymore. My mind and heart is made up..." For the simple truth is, truth is not as simple as that. And when you are seeking to be the dust beneath the feet of saints, or watchdogs at their door, you have to keep nimble and awake. Awake to challenges to your own certainty, awake to whatever God Almighty may arrange to come your way, "Hmm... let us see how Taufiq deals with THIS, that old Mr,Know-it-all,,,"

The firm toehold. But we must have some certain rock. An unchangeable principle, a toehold in our heart that we must protect, Perhaps, if you are a Muslim, it would be our declaration of faith (the syahadah) - I bear witness that there is no god but God, and Muhammad is the Messenger of God, These are the words that make life, truly worth living for. Indeed, in its words is the true flowering of humanity's potential and promise - and your own, whatever be your dream or talent.

Keeping the values. And the final point is this - may we never ever, in our efforts to keep to our syahadah, do or say or permit anything to happen that directly or, more often that not, indirectly destroy the very values and connection of the Divinity and our humanity that is part of our syahadah.

For in our lifetime alone we have seen enough blood, enough depravity, enough lies and hypocrisies, all done 'in the name of God'. Do you not agree, my love?

wa min Allah at-taufiq

Hate has no place in Islam

Love will show the Way

THE TREE OF MUHAMMAD

The Tree of Muhammad

I am a tree,

And I have been created

Complete in my perfection,

You may take sustenance from 

My deepest roots to the highest

Leaf or flower that bloom from me,

You may pick my low lying fruits,

You may take shelter beneath me 

From the heat of the sun

From the wetness of the rain,

And from the hubris of men,

You may approach me from 

Any direction, and along any path,

For I am created to endure 

And for as long as the forest remains

I shall always be here, waiting for you,

Indeed, by my Most Merciful Lord,

I was created that you may be created,

And If you think your desire and longing for me is great,

Lo, You will not bear to know my desire

And longing for you!

Who will come to me?

Who will sit under my shade?

Who will rest his weary troubles on me?

Who will share my fruits and my nectar?

Who will take delight in my company?

........................ 

What is a tree? It is a living breathing organism without whom we would perish and this world would be a dead soulless planet. Yesterday morning Heche and me were buying breakfast from a street pedlar who was selling his nasi lemak under a tree by a busy suburban street. As I was waiting for Heche to complete our transaction I stood next to the tree and wondered in my wandering whim, "How many countless people have passed you by, o' Tree, barely noticing your existence, yet taking shelter beneath your rich green foliage?"

As we rush through our daily life, filled with distractions and illusions of this world, we often forget what truly matters. I thanked the tree for giving me a shade, and gently pressed my palm against its brittle grey bark. In the name of God that made you, thank you! In the name of the Prophet, thank you for your beauty!

Sarawak. When I was away in Sarawak, I was often close to tears. Not out of sadness, but joy. And a sense of overwhelming thankfulness for being surrounded by my beautiful friends, and beautiful trees. Arriving early in the town of Kuching I was brought to a cemetery near my friend's house to visit his late father, grandparents and great grandfather.

There, nestled among the shrubbery and trees, I found his ancestors's graves and the historical link to a beautiful history.  And I, Taufiq the recalcitrant sinner, playing an unlikely part in my friend's own story.  Winding through history like a path through the spiritual station of honoured ones, we find ourselves here today - somewhere in the most beautiful lore of the Prophet Muhammad (saws). Thus, our sincere prayers is that Allah (swt) shall allow us to contribute a chapter to His Habibullah's (saws) story, whether as a beautiful rose or even a fern or a humble blade of grass or moss... That is enough already.

Don't you agree, sunshine?

wa min Allah at-taufiq

Hate has no place in Islam

Love will show the Way

THE WIND TREE, THE FAKE FAKIR AND THE SOLE REASON FOR HISTORY

The Wind Tree
If you wish to fly like the wind,
You must have roots like the tree.
..........................................

A Hullo. Hullo there, sunshine. I must admit that it has been some time since I last wrote here in the almanac. I do not know if I will continue writing regularly henceforth, but let us not worry about that...

Reality of History. You know, it is no good to desire some transcendental ascent, without good solid grounding in reality, and in particular, how our own history shapes it.

For history tells us how we come to be here today. Through the daily lives of our fathers and mothers, and our forefathers before them, through their fate we are led to this point in our life, and our own fate, insignificant as it may seem in the greater cosmos.

Importance and Self-importance. Yet, you are not insignificant. Whether you are a beggar in the street, a reveler in the nightclub or a dervish in the mosque, you are certainly important. Most importantly because you are beloved and cared by your Creator.

The risk is how our own hubris and pride takes that divine importance and turn it into damnable self-importance. 

The True Self is... Perhaps this is why I have been writing less nowadays. Repelled by my own horrible sense of self-importance. I guess I am tired of feeling like a fake faker, Ooh, Taufiq you fool, so full of your 'self'! I know this because an ancient friend tells me this - 'your true self is in your actions, actions motivated by selflessness. Any other reason for conduct is an illusion and a trap.'  

The Sole Reason for History. If only I could just let go and disappear. For I can sense the roots that entwine us all in the clay of our fragile humanity. There, in our shared history is all the nourishment we need for a better future. All the lessons and examples, the parables and wisdom of the Prophets of God. 

But knowing something is not the same as living something. So please, pray for me, sunshine! May Allah (swt) bless your kindness with the attention and guidance of Nabi Muhammad (saws), for he is the epitome of selflessness and generosity, and the entire cause and reason for our creation and history.

Don't you agree?  

wa min Allah at-taufiq

Hate has no place in Islam

Love will show the Way

THE GOSSAMER WEB OF GOD ...and the great inner-verse of emptiness

Gossamer Web of God
The slightest nuance 
May break me,
Some thoughtless words 
May kill me,
A bad idea may despoil
And end my story,

I am spun in a loom,
I am made from the finest thread,
I am fatal as your burial shroud
And your wedding bed, 

I am a string of thoughts
Woven into a form,
Given meaning and a name;
I am a Gossamer Web
Of God,

I am you. 

I am only waiting for you 
To remember... 

...........

As you grow old, as the invincibility of your youth leaves you, as you take time to ponder, you will realise that we are so intangible. 

It is as if, God created us to fill an emptiness, but in doing so, we come to also feel the emptiness, and thus, although we have a form, we  continue to remain empty. 

And what fills the great emptiness that lay between our smallest sub-atomic particles that make up us? Nothing. A great inner-verse of emptiness. In that state lies the sirr (secret) of  dzikr, the remembrance of God Almighty - For as opposites attract, so we are naturally drawn towards the Reality and Truly Tangible, yearning for the Absolute and the Eternal, and that is Him the One and Only.

Help me remember, o' Prophet!

wa min Allah at-taufiq

Hate has no place in Islam

Love will show the Way

Metaphors and Divine Promises

Realities, Metaphors and Analogies

If you say this world is real,

I will not disagree with you,

If you say this world is illusory,

I will not disagree with you,

If you say that this world is a metaphor,

I will not disagree with you,

As a reality and an analogy,

I will not disagree with you.

For every day, and every moment,

So long as you are a thinking and feeling

Member of the human race,

You will live in both worlds,

Standing across two meanings

Whose divide is wider than the Universe,

Seeing illusions and bearing witness

To His Embrace, He that is God Almighty,

The Last and the First.

..................

I have not written much but here I am, still very much alive and kicking. Metaphorically, speaking. He he he.

Have a wonderful Eidul Adha, sunshine. May Allah (swt) ease our journey from faithlessness to faithfulness, from all that is ugly and illusory to all that is true and lovely... towards Muhammad Habibullah, Mercy to all the Worlds (saws).

wa min Allah at-taufiq

Divine Promises
Escape the illusion of the bars that cage your soul,
Remember God and His Prophet,
Remember the divine promises long foretold!

Hate has no place in Islam

Love will show the Way

PINCHED AND SO CLOSE... and yet so far

All Pinched

The love of the Prophet is a garden in my heart. 

And it is so beautiful, so wondrous that at times 

I pinch myself that it is indeed here at all. 

By Allah the Generous, 

That is why you find me in this state... 

So bruised by so many pinching. 

So Close Yet So Far

I take these words and passing thoughts of you to present to you, o' Beloved,

But they are never enough. for I see and can barely comprehend 

Your beauty and magnificent mercy, 

Only for Allah to raise your noble station higher and more honoured. 

Yet you say you care for my soul far better than I myself?... 

By Allah the Tender, 

That makes me feel so close to you

And yet so far from you.

........................................

The worth of man or a woman is measured by how close he or she brings us nearer to you, o' Prophet, O' Most Beautiful Rose in Allah's Secret Garden of Roses, ya Muhammad the Veiled Moon shining upon the forest of incoherent reflection of your blessed eminence and light... so guide the guide to us, and leave us not to our own caprice!

wa min Allah at-taufiq

Notrumi Embun, 7th September 2014

Hate has no place in Islam

Love will show the Way