My Secret Foolish Ambition

It is a secret ambition

Of my life to become

More and more foolish,

And by God,

How I am succeeding!

(No. 86, from chapter entitled "Just Between You and Me", Feb 2009)

I don't want to be so foolish. But I cannot help it. Doing foolish things, and thinking the most ridiculous of thoughts, and writing them down (like right now) appears to be fated for me. Many times, I have found myself at the corner of the classroom, commanded to quietly contemplate the errors of my ways. But often too, I would hear a whisper in my ears, comforting me and saying, "Don't worry, Taufiq. If you are a fool, and if you are a sinner, you are still my fool and my sinner."

.

Between streaks of tears that were running down my cheek, I would then smile. But I am also careful not to let teacher see me smiling. It would be misinterpreted.