Yesterday evening, I attended a meeting in a nearby hotel with an old client. Literally, he was old apart from having been with my firm since its inception in 2004. I was happy to see that his old Swede business partner was there. A man I have had the pleasure of making acquaintance a couple of times over the years. Shall we call him Ericsson?Eric looked a little tired after traveling over 27 hours by car, train and plane to reach Kuala Lumpur from his hometown in Sweden. He too must be around my client’s age (about 67 perhaps), and was quietly working with his mobile office in the business lounge of the hotel. My client was late, so we chatted a bit.
I asked him about Sweden (“The economy is good. It is one of the strongest in the EU…”, pausing thoughtfully, “… for today. Tomorrow, who knows?”) and the sick states of Greece, Spain and Portugal. I do not know how, but our conversation drifted to his travels (he is a world traveler), and in one part he made this rather innocuous remark, “India is full of very rich and very, very poor people. The poor people live in the streets, and when I pass by them, I know that God do not exist”. He paused and looked at me, and I was wondering whether he expected me to reply or make some comment. But I didn’t. Instead I returned to our original topic and asked about Iceland. Later my client arrived and I left Eric to attend my client in a cosy private corner of the place.
After work I was exhausted, so I fell asleep early. 6 hours on, here I am - Awake and bright-eyed in the early hours of Saturday in a Mamak restaurant near my house. I was surrounded by foreign Chinese students having a late supper, and denizens of the night clubs drinking hot milky tea and eating roti canai before returning to their beds. I cannot go back to sleep because I keep recalling what Eric said. And what answer, if any, I could have given.
On the way here, I saw a sight which struck me. On the road was the lifeless body of a beautiful black kitten. It was probably run down a couple of hours earlier, perhaps when I was safe asleep in my bed. Does this also mean that God doesn’t exist?
It is easy to despair. It is a door that is always open for us to walk through. And witnessing the easy death of a beautiful cat, or the teeming hungry masses of humanity of India, despair appears the easiest path to accept. I can almost hear Despair inviting me. “Come in, Taufiq.” I hear it speaking to me. “There is no God. Otherwise I, Despair, would not exist.”
But I cannot. Not because I am a superman with some profound understanding of life. But I have seen with my own eyes the dogged determination of mankind to persevere no matter the hardship. To wake up in the morning, praising God, alhamdulillah, and to fall asleep, again thanking Him, alhamdulillah. And I have also heard the whispered oath of the caregivers – the Mother Theresas, the Gandhis, and the Mawlana Abul Kalam Azads of India… all who live for the sake of others, finding fulfillment and God Himself in caring for the sick, the needy and the homeless –
THE SELFISH SAINTS
I am a selfish person,
I cook for the hungry,
Because if I do not,
Then to me,
God ceases to exist.
I am a selfish person,
I build homes for orphans,
Because if I do not,
Then to me,
God ceases to exist.
I am a selfish person,
I give all my wealth away,
Because if I do not,
Then to me,
God ceases to exist.
I am a selfish person,
I attend to the lepers
And the dispossessed,
Because if I do not,
Then to me,
God ceases to exist.
And to be absent
From His Presence
Is to me,
The most painful lesson
That this life can offer.
God doesn’t exist in words, whether written or uttered. God is manifest in His Most Compassionate and Merciful attributes in the tireless working hands of the caregivers of this world. God bless Ericsson and all caregivers of this world. We owe them our humanity.
Have a charitable Sabbath, sunshine.
Pax Taufiqa.
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