I do not understand why,
Now in my 39th year,
Am I called to bear arms
Once again, in the Field of Love.
Many have fought here,
And many have died here,
Breathing their last gasp,
"O' Love, Thou art near!"
Many have struggled,
With Love's hows, whos and whys,
And in the night I can still see them,
Twinkling like stars high up in the sky.
INDECISION AT LOVE'S DOOR. In early 2009 I wrote the above poem. I was tempted, you see, by the opportunity to love again after almost 2 years of singlehood. For a long time I paused and pondered in front of Heche's door, a statue of indecision, turned into stone by the eternal questions - “Shall I? Shan’t I? Shall I? Shan’t I?” And I guess that was it not for an intervention by Fate you would probably still find me there, harrumphing and sighing, “Shall I? Shan’t I?” in front of love's door. Well, Fate intervened and I entered her domain… Not knowing what lie behind its beautiful door. It didn’t take me long to find out…
EAT YOUR HUMBLE-PIE AND ENJOY IT! I think that love can also be 
defined as the opportunity to consume endless trays of humble-pie. I blame Heche for my weight increase, which can be attributed to my high-fat, high-cholesterol diet of humble-pies that I am forced to consume - Because, my friends, when it comes to humble-pies, Love is an extremely busy baker! Oh, boy, this pie sure is yummy!
TRUE LOVE. There is this story about the Prophet – One day, a man approached the Prophet and he said, “O’ Prophet of God, I love God and I love you!” The Prophet feigned to have not heard him. Again, the man said, “O’ Prophet of God, I love God and I love you!”. This time, the Prophet turned to him and said to the man, “Don’t say that.”
For the third time, this stubborn man said, “O’ Prophet of God, I love God and I love you!”. The Prophet gazed at him, smiled and replied, “If so, prepare for trouble to come unto you like a sudden flood rushing down a mountainside!”
I think there is a clear analogy between the Prophet's story and Love’s Door. Love – whether love for God, Prophet and Saints, familial love, or love between friends, or even a romance between a man and a woman, it is not something merely to be spoken or written – Love must be exhibited – and Love must be tested. It is therefore the opening poem of the Sinner’s Almanac above that I actually wrote more than 7 years ago…
118. Teasing
What is love without a little teasing,
A little sorrow, a little pain,
A little drought before the rain,
A little sting, a little bleeding,
A little snowfall before spring. .
Who am I to talk of love? I am after all, a poor practitioner of this eternal art. But I have hope in you, sunshine. That you shall continue to be a true lover, learning such tips as the Most Beloved may show you, in whatever disguise that He may come to you in your life. I believe He is near you, always. For you are much too beautiful to be left alone, don’t you know? But remember, in the domain of love you gotta eat your humble-pie and enjoy it!
Tomorrow is Thaipusam day. For my Hindu brethren who celebrate this holy day, I bid you a gracious and fulfilling Thaipusam.
Pax Taufiqa.
Related Posting - The Mystery of God, True Love and the Rose of Infinite Petals
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