I do not use a cellphone to call God. I use a soulphone.

It is not simply raining. It is God speaking. Get the M786 to have access
to the best and most stable connection to the Divine Presence

God, The Communicator Without Peer

Magical things happen to me every day...

A black butterfly would fly across my car

As I drive out of my house,

Minutes later, a yellow butterfly would hover in front

Of my windscreen as I sit in a traffic jam,

A cluster of leaves would descend like curtain fall

As I drive through a leafy avenue, 

A brother would call another brother

Though they have been estranged for years,

Saying, "Oh how I miss you!"

.

This is how God speaks without words...

If only you would look out for Him,

He is the Communicator without peer!

………………….

The Muhammad 786 Soulphone - Manufacturer, God Almighty, Place of manufacture: In a place before 'places' exist. Date of Manufacture: In a time when time itself was not yet created. 

Series Unit No: 010

I do not use a cellphone to communicate with God because human inventions are often unreliable (much like their maker) and the network is always down. So I use a soulphone. In the Muslim cellular market, the number one top-selling soulphone for over 1433 years is the Muhammad 786. The logo is famous and can be seen anywhere a Muslim can be found –

It is a two-way soulphone. You can call God, and God can call you back. But very importantly, this soulphone is not only good for communicating with God. It is also very effective for communicating with other people too, the saints, the saintly, the sinners, Muslims and Christians, Jews, Hindus, Sikhs, Taoists, Buddhists, Mormons etc. In fact if you download the special App from App-Heaven you can even talk to birds, cats and insects, even to non-animate non-sentient fellow creation such as rocks and stones, water, fire and the wind. The possibilities are literally endless.

App Heaven for the Muhammad 786 - We have one trillion quintillion
gagillion angel-developers constantly at work to improve
your experience with your soulphone.

I have known about the Muhammad 786 soulphone for almost my entire life. But it is only in recent years that I have learnt its functions and menus a little better. And I don’t want to sound paranoid or anything like that, but I find that there are additional functions being regularly embedded without my knowledge, downloaded from that Great Website in the Divine Presence. But just like any ordinary cellphone, the M786 becomes more user-friendly the more you use it. It’s a great soulphone!

No, this is not the M786. This is a Nokia Communicator. It is hard to describe
the soulphone because it has a photocell epidermis that accurately
mimics your state of mind.  

I am told that the warranty for the Muhammad 786 is a Divine Guarantee underwritten by God Almighty Himself and covers across the entire expanse of infinity (and more actually, if you read the fineprints). The network coverage is superb - excellent during prayers, doing charitable deeds or when you are simply being nice to your mummy. And even in the darkest pit of our despair, sorrow, regret, folly and misdeeds, you can still get a decent line (at least 2 bars!). Just when you need it most, the Muhammad 786 will not let you down.

Available in black, white, green and purple. Get one today!

………………….

Hehehe. Welcome to the sinners’ almanac. God bless you.

wa min Allah at-taufiq

Hate has no place in Islam

Love will show the Way