I AM LOOKING FOR 'I' - a sinner in a hermitage in the sky

I looking for 'I'

I am looking for 'I',

Leaving my home to look for home,

I am looking for 'I',

Leaving myself to find myself,

I am looking for 'I',

So God shan't sigh,

"My dear old chum, 

You never even tried."

I am looking for 'I'

And leaving my 'I'ness behind,

So look for me, my friend,

At the Hermitage in the Sky.

Hermitage in the Sky. Over the past couple of weeks, the sinner (that is me, a regular old sinner, nothing extraordinary) was considering taking an apartment in the area of Damansara Damai which is, I reckon about 1 hour plus drive (during rush hour) or a mere 15 minutes away (at any other time) from my lifelong neighbourhood of Bukit Damansara. So after much thought, I have decided to take the place for one month trial period. Most landlords would balk at such a proposal, but I have no landlord, for it is a she, and the landlady is my good friend, Rina.

Early this morning I went over to sweep and mop the first floor before going to the office. Let me tell you that mopping is no joke. Mop, rinse, mop, rinse, mop, rinse. And it was initially annoying because the floor was dusty and wet, so wherever I mopped I would leave a trail of mucky foot prints all over the place. So I would wipe the foot prints, again and again and again until there was no more trail of dirt on the marbled floor.

Adab of the Mop. And this mop story is important to me because it is a reflection of life. Often we look at other people and see dirt and stains on their character, and we are resolved to rehabilitate these poor sinners, without noticing the trail of debris and muck we ourselves leave behind in 'helping' them. Because we are not helping actually, but in truth, judging. When you are alone with a mop your mind wanders. He he he.

I brought Mak Ndak, my late mum's elder sister to see the place last weekend. She said it was kinda far, but she thinks it is pretty. That is good enough for me. As my mother is not around anymore, it is important that I have her blessings, albeit my stay may only be a while...

About this transition, I am both happy and sad. Which, when you think of the state of the world, ain't really too bad.

See you at the hermitage, sunshine.

wa min Allah at-taufiq

Hate has no place in Islam

Love will show the Way