THE BROKEN ARROW - the ego and surrender to the Sunnah of Muhammad (saws)

The Broken Arrow

My Lord is there across the field,

My body takes the physical form of a bow,

It is my Prophet that draws the bowstring,

As he holds my spirit as an arrow 

Between his thumb and index finger.

Lo, how beautiful I would fly to my Lord,

But I am overcome by my ego

And my flight is turning ugly!

Thus you found me, my master,

Lying on the ground, 

A broken arrow.

In need of your Love

And your Mercy.

.................

Recycling Love. Yesterday, my nephew was practicing archery at my house. He was taking a break when he noticed a broken arrow on the table. He asked me if I can repair it, and I said no. There is a hairline crack running through the shaft that is beyond my limited understanding to remedy. Then he inquired if he could smash it with a hammer. Kids... I remember being just as strangely destructive in my younger days.

I said no. The arrow has sentimental value, for it is the first one that I made with help from Enda and Pak Din, my archery-mad friends. And the arrow served me well when it was whole, and even upon being irretrievably damaged, I was able to recycle the notch and arrow head for two other arrows that had lost their parts. 

The Broken Arrow. I am utterly convinced of the perfection of Islam, in the words of the Book of the Universe, known as the Holy Quran, manifested in the Sunnah (traditions) of Muhammad Habibullah (saws), known as the walking, living embodiment of the holy book.

And I am also utterly convinced of my woeful neglect and sin. And how I allow my ego and nafs (base desires) to gain ascendancy over me, until I find in my life, across this archery range, many, many broken arrows... a testimony of my own broken promises to God Almighty and to myself, of my many broken breaths wasted in pursuit of worldly, temporary gratification. 

But God the Most Compassionate and Merciful... through the ministration of His Beloved Muhammad (saws)... He does not leave me there. God picks me up in my moment of greatest despair, He studies the hairline cracks running through my soul and attends to my smallest errors. 

Through our Prophet (saws), God has never forsaken me... 

Not while there is still any sinew in my mortal coil 

To release my spirit-arrow from Muhammad the Beloved (saws) 

To God the all-loving One.

Archers of Malaysia and others... in Amman, Jordan, 2011. Including my late brother
Arwah Saiful Bahri bin Abdul Khalid (sitting 2nd row, 2nd from the right)
al fatiha... 

You understand, sunshine? 

wa min Allah at-taufiq

Hate has no place in Islam

Love will show the Way

The Gift of a Child - a quiet introspection of a life enriched by children

91. I, Wobot

Like a computer,

Every hour, divine programs

Are downloaded from the

Website in the Sky.

But it is when their elders,

Mess about with their codes,

That children become confused,

And they hang, refusing to reboot;

Ctrl, Alt, Del!

Ctrl, Alt, Del!

.....................

My Son. This coming Monday, Mikhail is going to the U.S. of A. He will be going with his mother Gina and his Uncle Herman to visit his family on the other side of the world. He will be gone for more than 2 weeks. That is a very long time for me to not have his company.

Mika is gonna make a side visit to 'the happiest place on earth'. But for parents,
isn't wherever their children are, the happiest place on earth already?

My Friend's Son. My colleague Alexander was telling me that his son Eby has also become closer to him. Eby is only 4 years old but he is starting to hang out more with his father, now even refusing to be bathed by his mother. Alex asked, "Why Eby don't want to bath with Mummy?" to which the precocious kid replied, "Eby shy. Mummy girl, Eby boy." He he he. Advance kid.

Err... you bought this game for your 4-year old son?

R-Rated. A month ago, Alex showed me the Grand Theft Auto computer game that he bought online. He said he bought it 'for Eby'. I have played GTA myself a long time ago, and knew it was an R-Rated game with violence, street crimes, gangsters, sex, 'whores' and 'the hood'. So I said, "Err, don't you think the game is a little too mature for Eby?" But Alex had a plan - "Yeah, but I will let him only play the car-driving bit (where your character will be driving a car, van, truck or any vehicle he can steal from some poor sucker in the city streets). He loves car-racing."

But his plans had to be adjusted. For yesterday he shared with me what happened when his boy played the game. "Eby was driving the car when he crashed into a bunch of people on the sidewalk. He actually cried, bro! Eby kill people - he said."

We are sometimes so immunized by the depiction of violence, both real and acted, on TV, the cinema and the internet that we forget just what subtle spirits children actually are. They can have such beautiful and nuanced emotion, untainted by life's more hard experiences and lessons. "So what did you do?" I asked further.

"Well, now I drive the car whenever in the city and take it out to the countryside where there are not so many people about. Then I give Eby the wheels." replied my friend.

He he he.

Children and Education. Sometimes I think life can be hard for children. And we parents haven't really much training to educate them. Oh come on, let's admit it. We have had zero training. So while we ourselves are works-in-progress and undergoing on-the-job training ourselves, we are saddled with another small human being to teach and raise up into a decent man or woman. Good luck with that!

92. I, Wobot II

Children are not beta-versions of you

To be experimented with.

....................

But as I have mentioned before, I think our very own life education is only complete when we have to love and care for children, whether it is our very own, our nephews and nieces or even our pupils in the class room. And part of the lesson learned is that we cannot do it alone. For a child is such a precious gift, whose sensitive soul can be moulded (or damaged), that I always found it a relief to have an avenue to ask for help. And that as a man and a father, I have much to fix of myself. So I ask the One God, the Most Helpful Fixer of problems and the Origin of all good lessons, to abide by my son in His Divine Presence, with the Prophet Muhammad (pbuh), his Companions and Saints, and the countless angelic heralds of God. I have asked this even before Mika breathed his first. And I pray the support shall continue until he breathed his last and forever more.

93. Muhammad Mikhail

May he be a servant of God,

A lover of the Prophet,

A friend of the Angels,

A mureed of the Masters,

A caretaker of the Traditions,

And spring of charity

To all who may come to him in need.

Somewhere far, far down the line,

Perhaps he can also call himself

A son of mine.

That is my prayer for my son.

...................

May God abide by the children that is enriching your own life, sunshine.

wa min Allah at-taufiq.

Hate has no place in Islam

Love will show the Way

Eid Celebrations, Family and a Greedy Little Pig - oink! oink!

Coming to the end of Ramadhan and the Eidul Fitri celebrations on 1st of Syawal to mark one month of fasting by the Muslims, it is common for us to receive festive greetings via snail mail, Facebook, sms-es and WhatsApp (well, for us Android users at least). I have been a bit busy yesterday as we had a drove of wonderful, bright-eyed, brilliant and good-looking relatives come visit us on the first day (well, I have to be complimentary if I want them to come again next year... Or am I spreading the butter too thick?).

So I am finally able to catch my breath today, and have been typing my late replies. If you did not receive my reply because you never sent me an Eid Mubarak greetings (And by the way, why didn't you? *sad*), well here is my best reply sent out today -

Salams sunshine,... If you but knew me a bit better perhaps you would not like me, but if I knew a bit more of you I am sure to grow fonder of you. So my Salam and prayer for us this Eid is for God and His Prophet to veil my wickedness and to unveil your goodness that I might continue to be blessed with your love and companionship... alhamdulillah, God be praised! Madad ya Saideena Muhammad, madadul Haqq!

For those who came yesterday, thank you kindly for your company and smiles... It was wonderful. A note of thanks for my brother, Zahurein, for cooking up a mouth-watering Mee Rebus (a local noodle dish in beef, oxtail, shrimp, chilli and sweet potato broth). I am ashamed to confess here that I, a greedy little pig, had 4 servings.

He was THE host, but he had 4 servings! Shameless...

wa min Allah at-taufiq

Hate has no place in Islam

Love will show the Way

Patience & Your New Universe of Beautiful Meanings

16. Truth Shaken in the Vessel of Imperfect Reality

Tyranny in spite of liberty,

- because the majority can be tyrannous...

Death in spite of wealth,

- because no money will save you from death...

Pride in spite of poverty,

- because even the most beggarly hovel can house hubris...

Ugly in spite of beauty,

- because vanity spoils all beauty...

Envy in spite of piety.

- because you have gain knowledge but not wisdom...

...............

I must have been ticked off by some event when I recorded this prose many years ago. I really cannot imagine what it was, but if you would simply open your newspaper today, you can easily find at least one story (and probably many more) that, sadly, depicts the prose perfectly.

But no sooner was this poem recorded, an affirmative, hopeful one was written, probably the very next day...

17. Patience

Patience,

Unto me!

A new Universe!

...............

And it is true. For however the world may turn, if we have patience... it is always a brand new world. A new universe of meaning in every breath that we inhale and exhale. And with patience, it is always a good meaning...

As how my father was yesterday. Not even his most loyal friends shall say that Khalid is the most patient person that they know. But yesterday, I accompanied my father to the workshop. We drove there because Adam, his grandson and my nephew, had car problem and had to have the car towed, and so we promised to meet him at the workshop. Because it was rush hour, there was some delay. But there was my father quietly sitting on his walking-stick-cum-stool, as the sun began to set and twilight draws nearer in.

When Adam finally arrived almost an hour late (they got lost) he was distraught with worry and quick to apologise, but surprisingly, his grandfather only assured him, "Don't worry, don't worry. It is not your fault."

A new world

Whether you are an ordinary man, simply waiting for your grandson and the tow-truck, whether you are a stay-at-home mum, a busy businessman, a diskjockey, a Sufi Shaykh or the Caliph of Islam, it is patience that is always the key to peace and happiness. Don't you agree?

A new Caliph

Thank you for coming in, sunshine. Always happy to have you here.

wa min Allah at-taufiq

Hate has no place in Islam

Love will show the Way

Extended Families - don't forget them...

1. Fountain of Youth

The Fountain of Youth

Is Youth itself,

And the Elixir of Long Life

Is a life well-lived.

............................................................

I visited a cousin yesterday. Kak Mah had a fall while out marketing with her husband. I am the youngest son of the second youngest in my late mother's family of 9 siblings. This means that the age gap between me and some of my cousins are pretty big, up to 20 years difference. This also means that my nieces and nephews (which to us Malays also cover our cousins' children) are not much younger than me.

I think this picture must have been taken in mid 80s perhaps, when I myself were in my teens. They are all my nieces and nephews. The grand old lady is my MakWe, the eldest of my mum's sisters. With her is my PakWe, her husband, surrounded by their grandchildren. Sadly, two brothers in the picture, Firul and Imran are not longer with us, called back to the Lord in the spring of their manhood...

Sigh. Nowadays I am going to funerals almost as often as weddings. But then again, there are also many, many births as the surviving kids start becoming mums and dads. How time flies.

I have nothing profound to share with you. Perhaps a gentle reminder (to myself really) to make time for our family. And not just our immediate family, but our extended branch of cousins, second cousins and our uncles and aunties. Sometimes we take for granted the happy memories of our childhood, and live in our past. But there is still joy to make now, and happy memories to create simply by being with our extended family. My mother, God bless her sainted soul, always made time for her very large circle of extended family and friends. And when she passed away, they all mourned her passing.

Thank you for dropping by, dear reader. You are already part of my own family. It's just that we have never been introduced yet.

wa min Allah at-taufiq

Postscript. I wrote this piece about 3am this morning. An hour after I am told that someone dear to me had  passed away. He will be buried today after Friday prayers. I fear I cannot write anything more than this.

Hate has no place in Islam

Love will show the Way