THE FIRST STRUGGLE ... illusion and the self-delusion of humble glory

The Greater Struggle

Every breath is a struggle,

Every blink of your eye,

Every thought that passes

Through your mind,

Every passion stirs

In your heart.

Do you need for arms,

Armours and wages of war

Before your struggle starts?

....................

Muslims often say, "Jihad is not just war. The Jihad ul-Akbar (the Greater Struggle) is the personal struggle against our own ego and nafs (base desires)." Yeah... we say a lot of stuff. But we don't actually mean it, for time and time again, I observe than we are often overwrought and impressed by military history, weapons of destruction and violent sentiments. Of course we couch it in the name of God and His Beloved Muhammad (saws). 

So I say now that...

The First Struggle

The first struggle for you

Is to overcome your self-delusion

That you truly understand 

What is the Greater Struggle,

And for you to mind your manners with

The ant under your feet,

The woman that you claim to love,

The air that you breathe but do not own,

The God that you claim to worship but Whom you keep distant

And the Prophet that you claim to love but do not follow.

.................

I read someone who decries why Muslims are not "jihad-ing" like how we used to in the past. The struggle, right from the moment of the prophet of Muhammad Habibullah (saws) continues. Look with your heart and see our struggle! Not one moment passes that we are not walking upon the path between right and wrong!

Mika completed his first khatam quran yesterday at his mummy's house.
And it was a struggle. How beautiful it was
because it was indeed a struggle!

wa min Allah at-taufiq.

- Notrumi Embun, 28th May 2014

Hate has no place in Islam

Love will show the Way

Ego and the Nature of Knowledge & Ignorance - the sinner is thinkin'... hmm...

Knowledge & Ignorance, Ego and Humility

Man is a creature made up of 

What he knows and 

What he doesn't know,

Man is a sum of 

All his knowledge and

All his ignorance,

But Man's ego can turn the most learned man

Into a tyrant and a despot, changing his pool of knowledge 

Into a hateful black miasma from where his most

Wicked thoughts, words and deeds arise from.

And Man's ego can turn the chasm of ignorance

Into a monstrous mountain blocking his path, 

A dark storm cloud shadowing his horizon,

Darkening his heart and his love,

So you see...

Ego will always spoil his life,

But humility? Humility will save Man

Whether he be foolish or wise.

.....................................

The ego is not a simple creature. It is attuned to the very physical aspect of your existence, and though it is not spiritual in nature, the human ego is more adaptable than the chameleon to suit your changing spiritual make-up. The ego sits with the kings on their gilded thrones, manages the biggest corporations in the boards of directors, it runs on all fours with the beggars of the alleyways, it is in the words of the religious clerics, it sleeps with the most virtuous man and wakes up in the morning with the most despairing sinners of this world. 

Facing up to your vices and bad habits is liable to make you hate yourself.
And it can turn the most mentally balanced man into a schizophrenic.
But you cannot hate yourself, nor have two of you...
After all, you have only one heart.

Unlearning (your bad habits) is a journey of a lifetime. For myself, I have found that knowledge has brought great happiness to me. But some knowledge has also brought great despair, for I have, in my life, learned of things which I should have stayed away from, things which do not benefit my life one bit. And if learning is a journey of a lifetime (as many pundits say), then the unlearning of some knowledge is also a journey of a lifetime. You know... the bad habits and vices sinners like myself have picked up along our raggedy, stumbling path through life. The ego and our nafs (our base desires) work hand in hand to persuade us, "Come on, Taufiq! Everyone does it! You can handle it..."

Yeah. Right.

Far or near... Alive or dead... it matters not
when Love is your Sovereign Lord.

Friends with Benefits. Alone we would be crushed by our ego. That is why, if you are blessed to have kindly friends, patient and understanding parents and relatives, you cannot but be humbled by the humility displayed by such people. So even if you are a damn sinner like myself, you have guides that can help you deal with your ego (and nafs). And of course, if your life is blessed with a saint, a master who loves and attends to you however physically far or near you may be to him, then you really have a lot to be thankful to God for.

Have a good Sunday, sunshine.

wa min Allah at-taufiq

Hate has no place in Islam

Love will show the Way

WHAT GOD WANTS OF US - the ego-nafs, prophets and saints, devils and other stuffs

13. Beware

Even the ego

Will love the Shaykh,

But for its own

Selfish reasons.

Beware, beware, beware!

14. Beware II

Even the ego

Will despise Satan,

But for its own

Selfish reasons.

Beware, beware, beware!

The Ego. Love, distilled from the impurities of the human ego, would be a remarkable wine. But it would also make it undrinkable. This almanac has sighed, moaned and at times clamoured about man's servitude to his ego, and our need to surmount it. But without the ego, this life-force that makes us wake up, work, play and desiring something other than God, we would not be who we are.

History of the Ego. God created the ego and the nafs a looong time ago (Nafs means human desire, normally associated with our baser / animal instincts. I am not sure whether the two are separate or actually two part of the same entity, so let's call it 'the ego-nafs' for the sake of convenience). And even though the ego-nafs for a while rebelled against God, after an eon of subjugation in the black flames of Hades, the ego-nafs finally relented, acknowledging that God is... God.

So God at the end of it, did not destroy the ego-nafs, nor do I think we, as mortals are entitled or capable of doing so. The Sufi masters often preached, "Do not let the donkey (the ego-nafs) ride you, you must ride the donkey." The Sufi masters did not say "Take the donkey out to the back and shoot it."

The Nature and Cunning of the Ego. So we are mortally married to our ego-nafs, in whatever manifestation the ego-nafs chooses - For the ego-nafs can be the sanctimonious preacher on the pulpit, it can be the envious beggar on the street, it can be the scrooge counting his money during Christmas, it can be the holy warrior 'loving' people to death, and it can be the politicians and their hateful speeches. However you live your life, the ego-nafs can dominate you. And as the two prose above records - the ego-nafs can easily blend into your consciousness, in a guise of love and affection, or in a mask of hate and revulsion. The ego-nafs has no fixed state and will adapt accordingly, for it is never gone, only disguised - Once upon a time, a man was approached by a mystic guru, who asked him, "Do you need guiding to control your ego?" The man only replied, "My ego has no control over me. All the time the ego begs me, 'Feed me! Feed me! Do not ignore me!' And all the time I choose to ignore it. So you see, I have no need of guidance." The guru then said, "Your lack of need is a manifestation of your ego."

He does, you know!

But God Always Wins. When you consider things objectively, by any avenue, God wins - He has Saints and Prophets who will invite you to God, just as he has the Devil and his minions to chase you to God. Good persons and good events to reward you and draw you closer to Him, as well as bad persons and bad incidents or accidents to chase you to Him. This is His World and His House, and as all gamblers know... the House always wins.

So what about us? But that is God's and the Prophet's victory. Inter-spaced between our birth and the Ordained Victory is our actual life. This discordant existence, often made messy and blurry by our inability to control and harness our ego-nafs. And for that, God has armed mankind against the ego-nafs with the most powerful weapons - our reason, our heart and our conscience. But unlike any other wars where victory is decided by who wins in battle, we win by simply showing up at the field of conflict with our reason, heart and conscience intact. That is all it takes, and that is all God wants of us.

Have a thoughtful day, sunshine.

wa min Allah at-taufiq

Hate has no place in Islam

Love will show the Way

If you REALLY MUST do a Jihad, do THIS Jihad!

61. Jihad of the Heart

There is a perfect jihad

To undertake, where you can

Do so with reasonable belief

That you will not be breaching

The conditions of jihad, as laid down

By the Prophet, not to harm old men,

Women, children, animals and trees,

Nor break into a temple

Of worshipers in worship.

The jihad of the heart.

Or do you think that Jihad al Akbar

Is purely a personal jihad?

I am in a jihad. It is called Jihad al Akbar, which basically means an internal jihad to master my ego and nafs (lower desires). Oh no, it is not about destroying the ego or nafs, since I am still a man, but it is about mastering the ego and nafs, so that whatever action (or omission) I undertake, I do so for the right reasons. To find the right reasons, I follow my heart and my conscience, and whatever lessons God has kindly brought to my attention from my history of the Prophets and Saints of God, and any other saintly persons I have bumped into in my short life. It is my profound blessing that I have come to know a great many of them. Oh, to get back to the prose, the Jihad al Akbar is not purely personal because if you become better, how can it be anything but good for your family, friends and co-workers? Alhamdulillah!

I cannot say, with all honesty, that I am winning in this jihad. But I guess I am not losing. I am somewhere in between, feeling good sometimes, and less good in another hour. But generally I am happy about 85% of my waking hour, and I think that is an acceptable statistics, don't you?

I have no time for the other sort of jihad, that armed jihad which is the fixation of the misguided and despairing. Indeed, I reject the mindless violence and insane hatred that these people propagate. I reject them all with my words, and if push comes to shove, I shall reject them with my hands.

I am a keeper of a secret which is not a secret, but one which people often forget. That all humanity are in unity of worship and praise of just One God. And it is in that ideal I write to you, sunshine.

You are not just an anonymous reader, my friend. You are to me my hope for a better future.

wa min Allah at-taufiq.

The Path is Unending, but this is a Good Month to Walk! - Prose of Ramadhan Part 31

I Won't Pause to Say Goodbye! (Ramadhan Verses #17)
O’ fear, you have long haunted me,
O’ failure, you have long dogged my steps,
O’ hate, you have long coloured by view,
O’ misery, you follow upon your brethren’s way
And often darken my day.

O’ envy, you tried to make me
An enemy of my brother,
O’ lust, you tried to make me
An exploiter of my sister,
O’ ego, you befriended all these bad things
And tried to convince me that
They are all my good friends.

O’ hubris, you have abused
My spiritual inheritance for
Your own corrupt ends!

Well, today I am going.
And I shan’t pause to say goodbye.
My Lord misses me and wants me home,
And there I shall be an apple
In my Beloved’s eye.

Two Sundays ago, on the eve of Ramadhan, this prose was kindly posted up at the Camel Saloon by its worthy barkeep, Russell. Whether it is Ramadhan or any other month, each moment in our life is a migration from bad to good, and good to better, and better to even better. It is especially so I guess for those who fast and keep to their good manners in this particularly holy month. 

The highest (and most difficult) fast is the fasting to refrain from acting upon our bad traits, most often motivated by our despicable ego. Physical fasting helps because it weakens our ego, enabling our better selves to come to the fore front. It is not the final act, nor is it a final step in the path towards servanthood. But it is an important step. So my clown is making her way out of one door, only to be confronted with the negative emotions and purposes at another level. So long as she is alive, her foes shall continue to bark and bite at her heels. But by God, in this perfectly beautiful Ramadhan, she will know with certainty that God and the Prophet is on her side, with the host of prophets, saints and angels rooting for her to succeed and overcome her lower instincts - a step closer to truly becoming an apple in the eye of the Beloved. I just thought that you should be aware of this too. That is why I wrote this posting.

So cheer up, sunshine, and never despair.

wa min Allah at-taufiq.

God is an Autobahn (where you can drive your ambition without worrying about speed traps or running out of fuel)

Don’t you think that God has the biggest Ego of them all? Why, He cannot stand even having just one name. In Muslim lore, God has to have 99 names, and that is just what’s revealed. And He has engaged cohorts of fuzzy-minded poets and sinners (like yours truly) to evoke His Infinite Glory and Utter Awesomeness. But God’s Ego is the supreme shade and protection for mankind because it is under His Ego that we seek shelter from the harmful deception of our own egos which constantly seek to trip us in our Path to Him. And the same thing goes for the Egos of Prophets and Saints. For it is in their Commanding Spirit that their followers seek shelter and solace, their guided words and action residing not in the ego of the lower nafs (earthly desires, our egos), but upon the commanding heights of God’s revelations which spur their life-force beyond the understanding of ordinary humans.

Let’s face it, sunshine, most of us are not exactly the vanguard of virtues. We make our stumbling and often confused way through life’s maze and puzzle, making Saints roll up their eyes muttering, “Oh Lord, look at this dumb kid…” and Angels cringe in dismay. But in some ways you are also connected to the Divine, the Saints, the Prophets and to God Himself. So you also have the propensity to do good. And if you believe that good needs to be done by ambition, then ride that ambition, baby…

If you want to build a majestic church, a Shinto temple, a pretty mosque, wherein people will praise and glorify God, then build it invite everyone and raise the Flag of Love and Unity high above the parapets.

If you want to bake the most awesome cupcakes to sell and donate the proceeds to an orphanage, then bake them and make people happy.

If you want to climb Mount Everest to sing praise to God Who is higher than the highest peak on earth, then climb it, but carry your own luggage and don’t use Shepas.

If you want to write the most beautiful songs, or choreograph the most amazing dance you can imagine to manifest Love, then compose the songs and choreograph the dance and set Broadway and the West End ablaze.

Just do it all, please.

Why?

Because you can do it, sunshine. You can do it.
Paulo Coelho, in his book, ‘The Alchemist’ once wrote that the most important lesson in life to unlearn is the lesson which we learnt while growing up – that we are somehow limited by circumstances and (God Forbid!) ourselves and thus we must be ‘realistic’ in our expectations and ambition.

But in the name of the Forgiver of Sinners, there is no reality unless we believe in it. So disbelieve the imaginary chains and let your ambition take fruit in the soil of your soul. If watered by Compassion, if tilled with Mercy, if seeded with Love and Sincerity… my dearest friend…, my beautiful readers, there is no limit as to how far or fast you can go - For the Love of God is an autobahn where you can drive your ambition without worrying about speed traps or running out of fuel.

This posting sounds like it deserves a theme song. And I do believe I have the right one right here. It’s from Rascal Flatts and it’s called ‘Life is a Highway’ - Click Here.

Let the music play and let your dreams bloom, sunshine.

Pax Taufiqa.

A Comely Eye, a Shapely Hip & Rose Petal Lips, and an extract from the Sinners' Dictionary

1. I am not pretty
My servant said,
“I am not pretty”.
Ouchie. That hurt.
For I made her, you see.

Nothing was left to chance,
Nothing was left wanting.
No skin, no curve,
Nay a hair of her eyelash
Did I create if not with
Love, attention and affection.

So how can she say that?
What does she see in the mirror
Which is deceiving her?

I am seeing her now,
And all that I see is
A beauty both timeless
And heartbreaking.

PHYSICAL BEAUTY. I will not lie, pet. Beauty matters. It is the nature of mankind that physical beauty attracts our roving eyes. We appreciate the finesse and delicate brushwork of God the AlMighty Artist and Illustrator. Why, even as I was doing the montage of glam mags and rags here I was attracted to the pictures of women on the cover. So, no, I would be lying to myself if I say that physical beauty has no effect on me.

Man is made for conflict. That great struggle (Jihad ul Akbar) to manage and control our desires. It is the hardest thing in the world. Why? Simply because of what we are. The Sinners' Dictionary thus defines him so...

176. Testicles
Man,
A creature torn
Between the mystical
And the testicles.

Woman is made for conflict. I will not say much about the prettier half of mankind because I am not one. I don't know how it feels to be a girl, a lassy, a woman. Any attempt by me to suggest I know is a big fat lie. But such is the character of this world that this is what I observe...

24. Ah, the Door-Opener (With King)
Ah, womanly beauty,
That irrepressible opener of doors!

Alas, how long beauty actually
Stays indoors is open for debate.

I have no solution to give, no profound revelation to share. I guess however we look and feel, we are just suppose to do what is sensible. What is appropriate and moderate, and to not fall off the edge of madness in our pursuit of physical beauty - of ourselves or someone else. Because that can happen. Indeed, history is full of madness... drawn by a comely eye, a shapely hip and rose petal lips.

Pax Taufiqa.

A Guide to America, Obama, the AntiChrist, the End of Time and You

Poor old Devil. He does all the work and the USA gets all the credit. Personally, I do not think that the America is ‘the Great Satan’. I wouldn’t even call her “the Evil Minion’ or ‘Igor’ (as in “Fetch the braaain, Igor!”). It is simply a big country, a rich nation with loads of guns and tanks. But above all, America is a country of ideas, ambitions and dreams. And simply put, it is so big economically and politically, it is still the defining country of the world. A country that good or bad, defines the worldview of a large segment of mankind, regardless of their faith, creed or masonic credentials.

I have bushels of stuff about the Devil. Indeed the very identity of this funny fellow is interesting and deserves attention. The names of Satan, Iblis, Azazil, Lucifer, and Beelzebub are just some of his more common aliases.

So is Obama the AntiChrist? In Christian and Muslim lore, there is some shared perception that the AntiChrist can be depicted as a person. An individual (man, djinn, hybrid?) foretold to do a lot of not-very-nice-things on Earth. Mr. AntiChrist is probably not a guy you would like to have as your neighbour. And clearly, you wouldn’t be happy if he was your President. Well, rest easy. I don’t think Obama is the AntiChrist. I could be wrong of course, but it’s my gut feeling. And as my gut is bigger than average, you can depend on my observations more than average.

According to some Muslims though, the AntiChrist (or Dajjal) may be personified (also) in a system. The much maligned ‘New World Order” rang the warning bells of many conspiracy freaks, not just amongst the Christians, you see, but Muslims too.

For me though, I don’t really care about that. My attention is centred on an enemy far more personal and far more intimate than either a global world government or the current incumbent in the Oval Office. It is myself, and in that context, I recorded a parable (circa 2004) about the AntiChrist, the End of Time and our egos…

97. Do I Look Familiar?
Do you think the anti-Christ shall come garbed in black,
With black crows on his shoulders,
And a robe of black on his back?

No.

He shall descend as a man of God,
Calling himself Christ,
And come to you,
As you,
Offering paradise.

O’ self-indulgent one,
Will you be able resist yourself?

So, my friends. if you seek the enemy, you need not look far. He is there with you. That is why the teachings of ‘mystics’ in all religions require your immediate attention, whatever your faith may be. For in their traditions and wisdom, are ancient lessons that all humanity must learn in order to recognize, appreciate and control our supreme nemesis – our ego and Nafs (roughly translated as our earthly desires – such as our physical and sensual needs).

Hmm? And how is my own battle with my Ego and my Nafs getting on, you ask? Well… *sigh*, its still getting on and going on. Every freakin’ day. So, really, we should thank God for making each day different and always challenging! And what about the AntiChrist? Don't you worry (too much). He will just be another footnote in the Story of God and the Good. Ya Huu!

Pax Taufiqa

.

p/p/s Obama pic is courtesy of frontpagemag, the ego t-shirt is courtesy of zazzle.

Post Script 2.11am, Thursday, 14/10/10. It is just too hot to sleep, and my a/c is kaput. So I will share a bit about my earlier googling for Obama and AntiChrist pics for this posting -Basically, I came across a whole world of hate against the dude. Obama with horns, Obama in a turban and a beard, Obama with backdrops of fire (of Hell presumably). Obama as Hitler, Obama as a Fascist, Obama as a Communist, Obama with '666' tattooed on his forehead, Obama captioned as the AntiChrist, Satan's choice and etc. ad infinitum ad nauseum. All these emotional commitment and creative energy being poured into a single crosshair aimed at Obama. If I was the Secret Service, I would increase the protection around POTUS. Who knows what these people would do in the name of their hatred and anger. Come on, by their belief, if they are up against the AntiChrist himself, surely almost any act is justified right? May God save us all from the loonies, they are all the same, from any religion. Amin.