Dawn & Dusk, The Virtue of Constancy - Monday blues after a long holiday

Dawn & Dusk

Dawn and dusk,

Day and night,

Right and wrong,

Black and white,

Twice a day and

Many, many more times

In our lives,

We cross the line between

What the Good Lord enjoins

And what our ego enjoys.

..............

Sincerity is natural enough sometimes when it is spurred by regret and passion. Consistency in sincerity is much, much harder. I think our One God puts it best...

By (the Token of) Time (through the ages),

Verily Man is in loss,

Except such as have Faith, and do righteous deeds, and (join together) in the mutual teaching of Truth, and of Patience and Constancy. (Quran 103:1-3, translations by Yusuf Ali)

After a good four days' break to the northern state of Perlis for a wedding, I awoke today a little unprepared for my regular Monday routine. Fortunately I have left tokens of work to be completed scattered about to remind me - in my bedroom, in my bag, in my car, on my work table, in my cellphone and less visible sometimes, in my head. And there are of course a mound of emails in my inbox left there by my clients and Alexander (my partner in crime).

In the Surah al-Asr, the very final lesson that we are asked to enjoin each other is constancy. And I reckon it's because we can be very, very honest sometimes, we can be exceedingly patient some times, but to carry both with constancy is the true measure of the human spirit.

So you are lucky, sunshine, that you only get me through this blog. I do not think I am an easy man to live with. On a daily diet of Taufiq, you may find me just a little bit too much. If there is talk of sincerity, patience and honesty in this almanac, it is not mine, rather it is about those who keep close to me and tolerate me.

See, this is me being honest and sincere. May we share and heighten our understanding, that such virtue becomes a more common place occurrence in our daily life. For it is perhaps too uncommon for me.

Oh well. Have a great Monday anyway, sunshine... because however it begins, the day can only get better. If anything, that is the singular enduring belief that I always nurture in my sinful heart. Sinners are like that. We have to be, to face this world with some optimism. He he he. Hu... Hu... Hu...

Angel: Where is this enduring optimism of yours this Monday morning,  o' mortal?
Me: Just bring me my cup of coffee and I will show you!

wa min Allah at-taufiq

Hate has no place in Islam

Love will show the Way

A Christmas Greeting, the Pillars of Our Conscience and the Meaning of 'face'

My Santa Claus

THE RETIRED MAJOR. It is going to be Christmas in a week's time. Earlier I received a seasonal greeting from my Major(R) Chan, a humble and generous Christian, who used to be the chief accountant of one of the largest banks of this country. He used to say of my father, with whom he worked in the bank, "If he knows something is not right, he will criticize you. But he is an honest and great man, and I take whatever he said as a challenge and a lesson. I am very proud to have worked with him." Both the Major and my dad came from alien fields into banking, Major Chan was from the Army (obviously) and my father was formerly a doctor in the government service. They are both what I call 'ol skool'. They were the product of another generation, when people were brought up with good manners, and most importantly integrity and a sense of 'face'.

FACE. When I say 'face', I do not mean pride in that arrogant and boastful way. To the Major Chans and Abdul Khalids of the world, 'face' means having the integrity and honour not to take what is not yours, not to take what you do not deserve (even if you have the legal right to take it) and not to put yourself in debt to anyone for dubious favours rendered. It is having the sensibility to live within your means, and not to consume ostentatiously. I myself used to laugh about how my father never gives himself any expensive treat whatsoever. I do not laugh about that anymore.

HONESTY. Honesty is not easy. And undoubtedly, my father had grated and offended a number of people because of his strict opinion and unflinching attitude towards what is right. Why, even my late mother (bless her sweet soul) used to complain, "Your father is so unbendable!" This was in response to my father's admission that he had rejected a director's allowance increase which would have earned him more money than even what I am earning NOW. And this was some 15 years ago! So the amount in question was not small by any means. But my father rejected the proposal from the management. My father was the Chairman and this was his view on the matter - I only have meetings like once a month at the most, and perhaps 2 general meetings a year. Why should I be paid so much when I spend so little time for the company? And of course, my father also refused because had he accepted the proposal, he would be in debt to the management of the Company, thus losing his moral authority for 30 silver coins (to use a Biblical reference, this being Christmas season and all).

A CHRISTMAS GREETING. Integrity, honour, honesty and simple good manners, these are all little bricks, stones and mortar of your conscience, or as some would call it, the Pillars of Our Conscience. Something that was touched on in the festive reply to Major Chan...

Dear Major,

Merry Christmas. May you find strength in the morning, happiness during the day, solace in the evening and rest at night. May the tribulations that dog your step give you wisdom and strength. May the blessings that rain on you bring you contemplation and gratitude. May you see success and failure as the illusions that they truly are, and that in Truth, it is the Lord speaking to you, and you accept both with humility and courage. If at times, people question your conviction, rest your doubts on the pillars of your conscience… for don’t you know that the pillars reach to the highest firmament of human conjecture, halting its ascent only at the door the Divine Presence? At that point where all thoughts end, returning as little drops of light to the Ocean of God.

From one tiny drop to another, I wish you a very Merry Christmas.

Pax Taufiqa.

Norman Rockwell's Santa Claus

Have a wonderful Christmas, and may God bless you with His Mercy, Love and Grace always.

Hate has no place in Islam

Love will show the Way

Angels of Sodom, Gomorrah and the Grave

Cartoon 1 - Living next door to angels has its upsides and downsides.

Cartoon 2 - All Malaysians are required to carry their National Registration Identity Card, or NRIC for short. It tells me what my name and my address is (in case I forget). It also tells me my date of birth (as if I need any reminder about how old I am). A couple of years back, the government thought that it would also be a cool idea to also include my religion. This is useful, because when I die, the Angels of the Grave will be curious as to my faith, and shall question me. But I am already a Muslim - my NRIC says so! (Assuming I am buried with my NRIC). But things are not so simple... they never are when it comes to Angels.

Have an Angelic Monday, sunshine.

wa min Allah at-Taufiq.

The Whole of Creation is their Playground of God, Tariqa & Syaria - Prose of Ramadhan Part 34

If your idea of the Syaria leaves you groping
in the dark, why don't you switch on the light of the tariqa?

Islamic State of Mind (Ramadhan Verses 20)

They want the Islamic State

But they are not in the Islamic

State of Mind...

- Writing laws into law books

And saying "This is God's law!"

When I see that it is a human hand

Still holding the pen.

- Disconnecting the law from the love,

Demanding obedience without discretion,

Thinking only they must be right -

Building the fences of law so high,

That we cannot see the garden inside.

- Following the religion of hubris,

These fancy God-botherers,

Acting like tourists, coming and

Going as they please.

TARIQA SYARIA. A wise man once described the connection between the tariqa (the spiritual path) and the syaria (the law) of Islam thus - 'The syariah is like a fence, it protects a beautiful garden which is the tariqa." And that, in a nutshell is the symbiotic relationship between the two essence of the faith.

ISLAM WRONG? If the pronouncements of the syaria, if the canons of law themselves, as interpreted by man does not reflect the inner beauty of Islam, then frankly, I don't think that the law, the lawmakers and the lawgivers are Islamic. If they say that this fence is to protect a glorious garden of paradise which is Islam, but from outside the fence I see no garden, I see no beautiful trees or flowers, well, what are you talking about, then? Either you are wrong or Islam is wrong, and to be honest, I believe in Islam but I disbelieve in you.

I think Sufis exist. Because all Sufis love cats. Purrrr...

SUFIS? BAH, THEY DON'T EXIST! It is of course even worse when the lawmakers and lawgivers don't even recognise that tariqas and Sufism have a role to play in Islam. They will say that Sufism, if it ever existed (which they doubt), is long dead, buried with the Prophet and his Companions. But if the tariqa, the inner spiritual path towards divine servanthood and taqwa (the pacific heart) does not exist anymore, then what on earth is the law protecting?

I am an angel, but the coldness of their hubris
have turned me stone cold to them.

HUBRIS. So I hope these 'defenders of the faith' will come to heel before God, the Owner of the faith. But I am afraid that unless a divine intervention happens, they shall not submit. They shall continue to pray in the religion of hubris and by their love-less and rude 'declarations of law', they shall continue to exhibit their personal insecurity over their own faith, and their despair to openness, transparency and truth. They are running from shadow to shadow, bleating like paranoid sheep, "We are being oppressed! We must fight! We must fight!" - These are the men who think they represent the Nur (Light) of Islam? This is so funny, I could cry. I do actually. Too often. sigh.

HEROES. The Sufis fear no oppression, so they do not oppress. And the Sufis love frankness and openness, so they do not run from interfaith meeting. For to them, it doesn't matter where they are or whom they are with, if the purpose is to explore and extol the Divine Attributes of God and how He manifests His Love and His Plan over mankind, then it is always a good place. In that way, the whole of creation is their Playground of God.

Have a thoughtful Friday, sunshine. 

wa min Allah at-taufiq

In My Shameful Servitude, to Love - Prose of Ramadhan Part 4

In My Shameful Servitude, to Love (Ramadhan Verses #4)

My beloved, you are

My earth and my heart,

My untilled soil,

My life yet to be lived,

My love yet to be felt,

My joy yet to be received,

My promise as yet unfulfilled,

My home yet to be lived in,

My precious pulse,

My dogged breath,

My inspiration,

The cloth that I wear,

The honey in my tongue,

The sweat on my brow,

My yesterday and tomorrow

My love, my companion,

My here and now.

My beloved, you have me,

And I am yours devotedly,

Do not cast me away,

Not when I am yours already,

Don’t you see?

If this is shameful servitude,

Then I do not wish

To be free.

Your weak voice

Weakens me,

You weary words

Wearies me.

Do not show me the door,

I do not wish to be where

I was before,

Before you came into my life,

For it was not I

Who opened the door.

And it was not you alone

That walked into me,

Love unlocked my lips,

And Love woke me from

My dark and restless sleep.

Will the sun now set

On the Sea of Forgiveness?

Will there be no princess to save?

No warlocks and witches to battle?

No quest for Truth, Love and Chivalry?

Tell me the answer is No,

Come and sit beside me,

I have made a pot of tea.

Let’s talk and later walk.

Just you, me 

and infinity.

We all make mistakes. In a couple of hours it will be the eve of Ramadhan, so let's make up with the ones we love. Make a pot of tea and invite him/her over. No, don't wait! Do it, my friend.

Have a happy day, sunshine.

Pax Taufiqa.

Money, Good Friends, Closet Sufis and the Angelic Audience

Look at him! His impudence is really too much. Writing as if he can see us!

260. Selling my words

For two days already,

I have been selling my words,

For glasses of tea and packets of cigarettes.

I feel a little guilty,

But not enough

To feel shame.

What a brigand and a bum am I!

And how glad am I to be one!

For what we steal and speak of

Cause Angels themselves to pause and sit in!

Now if only I can find a way to charge

These Angelic audiences…

A FRIEND IN NEED. ME. I was a little broke for a couple of days. But I still like having my chai at the neighbourhood Indian Muslim restaurant. So being the pragmatic and unprincipled rogue that I am, I simply went through my little black book and called up old friends that I have not seen in a while. Often they would not only pay for my cups of tea, they would also cover my meal, and sometimes even my fags (cigarettes). I am incorrigible, I know.

THE CRAZY ONES. My favourite collection of friends are the crazy ones. Well, not actually insane, but the sort that I could be truly honest with, especially in the topic of religion, spirituality, love, God, Prophets and saints. They tend to be humble, but most of all never boring and always funny, often making themselves the brunt of their own jokes. Some people call them Sufis. They deny it of course, but I can see through their pretensions of not being Sufis. They are rarely judgmental. Sometimes I can have a huge chip on my shoulder, a fuming volcano of dissatisfaction about something or someone. I would talk to them and with empathy, they would pop my balloon of anger / envy / jealousy. These are the sort of friends that EVERYONE should have. They won't allow you to wallow in your pit of negativity. And they certainly are not those who would make things worse by goading your ego. With a smile and a gentle hand on  your shoulder they would make you see that the world is in truth beautiful, all things are happening as they are fated to, and God is always smiling upon us. With my hand on my heart, I wish upon you such good friends. Amen.

THEM ANGELS. I have no doubt that the Angels are listening in. But sadly I am unable to cadge anything from them. After all, they don't drink, eat or sleep. And I don't think they smoke. There is absolutely no point to ask them for anything. But maybe they can put in a good word for me with  THE FRIEND OF FRIENDS... aka God.

Have a friendful day, sunshine! 

Pax Taufiqa.

Subprime Bust Part 2 - INSIDE JOB the Movie

INSIDE JOB. At 5.14am earlier this morning I was still awake. And guess what, I only dozed off at about 9.30am. For this loss of sleep I must blame INSIDE JOB, a movie which according to the tagline, costs $20,000,000,000,000.00 to make. The movie was in fact a documentary, directed by Charles Ferguson, about the subprime bust in the USA which almost tipped the entire global economic structure into chaos. In my earlier posting entitled 'Michael Lewis (Wall Street Insider) Mikhail Taufiq (Venture Capitalist) and the Subprime Bust"(Click Here) , I touched a little about this scandal.

AMAZING MOVIE. If you wish to know just how close the world came to a financial tsunami of biblical scale, you MUST see this movie. The list of luminaries alone (both the villains and heroes of this Wall Street escapade) which were interviewed is a good reason enough to watch it - Willem Buiter – Chief economist for Citigroup. John Campbell – Department chair of Harvard University’s Department of Economics. Kristin Davis – Best known as the “Madam” to countless investment bankers. Martin Feldstein – The George F. Baker Professor of Economics at Harvard University and President Emeritus of the National Bureau of Economic Research. Jerome Fons –Served as Managing Director of Credit Policy at Moody’s Investor Services. Barney Frank – Democratic Representative for the state of Massachusetts. Samuel Hayes – Hayes holds the Jacob H. Schiff Chair in Investment Banking Emeritus at the Harvard Business School. Glenn Hubbard – Chief Economic Advisor during the Bush Administration and current Dean of the Columbia University Business School. Christine Lagarde – The French Minister of Finance, Economic Affairs, Industry and Employment. Jeffrey Lane – CEO of Modern Bank, and former Chairman and CEO of Bear Stearns Asset Management. Lee Hsien Loong – The current Prime Minister of Singapore. Frederic Mishkin – American economist and professor at Columbia Business School, Mishkin was a member of the Board of Governors at the Federal Reserve from 2006 to 2008. Charles Morris – Author of The Trillion Dollar Meltdown: Easy Money, High Rollers and the Great Credit Crash. Raghuram Rajan – An economist and Eric J. Gleacher Distinguished Service Professor of Finance at the Booth School of Business, University of Chicago. Andrew Sheng – Chief Advisor to the China Banking Regulatory Commission. George Soros - is a Hungarian-American currency speculator, stock investor, businessman, philanthropist, and political activist. Dominique Strauss-Kahn – Current Managing Director of the International Monetary Fund and former Minister for Finance, Economy and Industry, France. Paul Volcker – An American economist who served as Chairman of the Federal Reserve under Presidents Carter and Reagan from 1979 – 1987. Scott Talbott – Top lobbyist for the Financial Services Roundtable. Nouriel Roubini – Professor of Economics at the Stern School of Business at New York University. (write-up extracted from the movie's PressKit)

MATT DAMON TURNS UP THE HEAT. The narrator and interviewer was none other than Mr. Bourne Ultimatum himself, Matt Damon. I wonder just how many of the super-bosses interviewed thought "Hey, I am going to be interviewed by Matt Damon. The kids are gonna love this. I bet Matt haven't a clue and will throw me easy questions to answer... this is going to be a walk in the park". Or so they thought.See bankers, regulators and acadamicians (under pay of the financial industry) squirm in the interview chair, looking like they rather be a million miles away from the interview and Matt Damon. See grown men (the villians are all men) lie to the camera and asking for a break in the interview to regain their composure. See one particular guy lose his cool and insult Matt. Hehehe.

MOVIE ACCOLADES. The movie is brilliant and already recognised so, winning the Oscar for Best Documentary Feature recently in February 2011, and before that the Writers Guild of America Award AND the Directors Guild of America Award for Best Documentary Screenplay and Best Documentary. Sunshine, if you are an American, I suggest you spend some quality time to watch the movie. It is very enlightening, to say the least. I am not saying that the sinner predicted the subprime catastrophe, but in 2004 I recorded this prose...

188. Paper Promises
Paper money make poor substitute
For gold and silver,
A mode of transaction
On human promises.
And oh, how well
We know of man
And his paper promises!

OUT! OUT! OUT! When Jesus, the Prince of Peace, kicked out the money-lenders out of the Temple, I don't think it is because he disliked how they smelled. The economy, for those in the know (and I know you are in the know, sunshine), is not only a temporal issue - it is a spiritual issue of great significance not only because you have frauds and monopolies, but how such crimes and social injustice affect a great swath of humanity if something goes wrong. And in 2008, oh boy, did it go wrong!

Have a nice day, sunshine. And if you have the vote in America, please make you vote count. As I said, if your country has a cold, it's the rest of the world that will be sneezing. Help us.

Pax Taufiqa.

Relevant Links - 'Inside Job' Official Website / 'Inside Job' Sony Pictures Website / Wikipedia on 'Inside Job'

My Father is Straight And Sometimes Even Roger Federer Sucks.

A SMALL GIFT FROM PATER. Last week, my father went to the 50th Anniversary party of a close friend. When myself and Heche went to pick him up we noticed he was carrying a party pack full of goodies. This morning as I was getting ready for work he suddenly pass to me 3 tiny booklet (in velvet brown covers) which turned out to be the Surah Yaasin (one of the most oft-recited chapter of the Holy Quran), the Asmaa ul-Husnaa (the 99 names of God) and a Collection of short prayers. None of his best friends would say that my father is especially religious, being the sort of guy more concerned with life and the living (after all, he’s a doctor). But in his earlier retirement years, I did notice that he was reading a book about philosophy (for dummies!) and other assortment of brain-breaking books. Of late however he has given up on those tiresome tomes and prefers to watch tennis on TV or taking his grandchildren out for meals. I am glad, because to be frank I would rather he enjoy his retirement as best as he can and leave the heavy reading to us (meaning me and my elder brother, Saiful).

MY FATHER IS STRAIGHT. My father is a straight man. I am not saying anything about his sexual inclination or his participation in a comedic act - it’s just he’s plain honest. Painfully honest at times and not the sort to mince his words. As a result he used to inevitably step on people’s egos in his old days heading the Ministry and later in the banking sector. But he never actually meant to hurt anyone’s feeling, it’s just that his standard of duty and dedication has (sadly) gone out of trend and often conflicts with the rather easy-going who-cares attitude prevalent in our society nowadays. He says it as he sees it, you know.

SHORT-FUSED? My father has a short-fuse and the world (or God, if you wanna say that) is playing with him. It’s as if the more my dad blows his top over some small niggling irritation (traffic jam, misunderstanding at the cashier, misplacing his cellphone), the more fate tests him with these petty annoyances. My brother noticed that nothing ever goes wrong when he alone goes to pay the utility bills (for instance), but on any given day when he has to bring my father, then without fail some silly contretemps (“... But can you EXPLAIN to me the bill item HERE!”) would occur and my father would get mightily pissed. Hehehe.

FEDERER! Maybe ‘short-fused’ is the wrong adjective to call the good doctor. Maybe ‘passionate’ is the better description – One night, our maid was woken by screams of anguish and pain reverberating from our living room. It sounded like my dad and it was in the early hours of the morning, so rightfully she was panicked. She rushed out to the living room and cautiously peeked. It was my dad alright, but he was in no pain (unless you call it emotional pain), he was just watching Roger Federer on TV losing in a tennis match. My father was simply expressing his disappointment at Federer’s poor performance.

"YOUR MOTHER…" On the rare occasion when I am with him shopping, my father would often reminisce about my late mother - “Ah, your mum loved this vegetable”… “She really liked to eat the noodle at this shop here”…”Mamma came back from Jerusalem with boxes of cabbages and pumpkins, saying she just didn’t know what else to buy.” My dad misses my mother in so many ways, I think.

Well, that’s my dad. Never a dull moment. Does he read this blog? He is techno-shy, but recently he did indicate interest in a laptop, so later perhaps. In the meantime, why don’t we keep this little posting between the two of us, sunshine. Hehehe.

Our fathers are quite something, aren’t they? God bless them!

Pax Taufiqa