Love Already Told Me, But I Disbelieved - Religion, Sufism, Escapism and Our Bold Presumptuous Promises

Love Already Told Me, But I Disbelieved

Love told me, "Be patient..."

Love told me, "Persevere..."

Love told me, "Eat healthy..."

Love told me, "Go to the gym..."

Love told me this and Love

Told me so many other things,

But did I listen?

Never...

So I was brought down,

My stature lowered,

My station left down low,

My wealth and my health

Waiting for a better tomorrow,

And then Love came to me in the night

And said, "Will you NOW then listen to me?"

Thus I replied, "Give me my pen that I might write 'Yes',

Give me my face that I might prostrate before Thee,

Give me my hands that I might do charity,

Give me the Sun that I might know where is West,

Give me my veil that I might hide my piety,

Give me my health that I might do all this

When now I know that all that

You've ever wished for me

Was for my best.

..................

TWO AIMS. The spiritual path of the Sufis has two aims, to address our heavenly endeavours and our worldly enterprises. Because you know, unless you are packing it in, and retiring from your job to become a full-time paid-up member of the Path, you still gotta eat, sleep and work to provide a living for those whom you are responsible for.

What is the point if you are learned in the transcendental truths and knowledgeable in the history of the Saints when you are not well? You have to take care of yourself, sunshine - in all aspects of your life, health, wealth and worldly knowledge, that you might contribute to society as an upstanding citizen, and nevermind your most Sufi-esque pretension.

Otherwise, for all these 'meaningful' and 'profound' expositions on love, truths and mercies, your faith and your 'sufism' would become nothing but a form of escapism. And I know, masyaAllah, how I know that there is so much promise in you.

Believe me. For I am not lying. For I too was there on the Day of Promises when we each made our bold presumptuous promises to our One Loving God. And we promised each other before Him that we shall look out for one another, and to remind one another. So here I am, reminding you. And reminding myself too. God bless.

wa min Allah at-taufiq

Hate has no place in Islam

Love will show the Way

A Journey from God, back to God - Umrah Pilgrimage Part 30

The gang. One last picture in Jedda.

Hullo, sunshine. This would surely be the second last posting of my umrah pilgrimage. And this time I wish to quote an extract from the pilgrimage journal. I cannot recall when I wrote it, as there are no dates, but I reckon this is the last night before me and my pilgrimage buddies made our way to Jedda to catch the flight back to Malaysia via Amman and Bangkok...

Dear God,
                Today I admitted my cowardice and habitual laziness to my friend Arjuna - How pleased was I that my December umrah was cancelled... simply because I was worried that I was not 'ready'. Not physically or spiritually. Worried that I would be a monster in Mecca, the true self being exposed to the holy air of Medina and Mecca. Nervous that You would test me... I believe in You, God, but I didn't believe You when You said that My Lovers are Mine,... My Servants are Mine, and the Traveler who travels for Me, looking for Me, is My Own to preserve and care. I didn't believe You... I couldn't.

But today, I am dying to return... to go to my Master and tell him - 'Ya Saidi (Master), I went to the Raudah (Holy Tomb of the Prophet in Medina)... and the Prophet kept his promise and loved me and preserved me... I visited the House of God (Baitullah in Mecca) and God loved me and cared for me... God and the Prophet kept their promises to me and gave me happiness, peace and contentment in my ziarah (visitation) to their houses... I am here to tell you, ya Saidi, that Ahad and Ahmad kept their promise to me and kept me safe...'

And so ends my pilgrimage journal, save for one final posting. Because you see, while I was in Mecca, a prose was recorded. And as in many prose written in Mecca, it is a sign for Love, Hope and Faith in our common Creator, a.k.a. God the All-Wonderful.

Perhaps God litters this entire world with divine clues and reminders of Him, and how better we would be if we would only open our hearts to see and listen. Life is no different from a pilgrimage after all. It is a journey from the day we were born to the day we pass away. A journey from God, back to God.

Walk with me, sunshine. And help me when I falter along the way, as I surely will.

wa min Allah at-taufiq.

Taj Mahal of the Heart - The Divine Guarantee for the Highest Edifice you build in the Name of Love

154. Taj Mahal of the Heart

O’ lazy builder,

You already have foundations of love,

But you have not built

The pillars of responsibility.

Build! And waiver not in your conviction,

Do as the masons do,

For just as the masons build,

So must you.

Build in the hearts of men

And all you hold dear!

Build! For the Lord

Is your Guarantor of any edifice

Which you raise upon

The Foundations of Love,

In the Name of Love.

A testament still standing,

When all of men’s conceit

Have crumbled to the earth,

And all the stars in the night sky

Have twinkled out of existence.

IN AND OUT OF LOVE. You and I, we have been through a lot, have we not? We have fallen in love, and perhaps we fell out of love. We have heard the voice of another, telling us she will never love another, but somehow or rather, she did. And we did too. But do not worry.

BUT IT'S STILL TRUE. I always believe that most people, when they say that they love you, they mean it. And I bet you were sincere as you can be when you confessed your undying love for someone you have now left. Or has left you. I do not like to judge things by the present alone. Things may have come to a dead end, but along the way did you not share beautiful dreams together? Did you not snuggle in the warmth of your lover's embrace and felt, "Wow... finally I have found my place in creation. And what a wonderful place creation is!"

DIVINE GUARANTEE. So just as the prose above says, that little nirvana you built, that paradise, that perfect Taj Mahal you once inhabited with your love is still there. Kept pristine by the Angels of Memories, its marble floor polished daily, its towering columns regularly inspected for cracks. But the past has already happened, so nothing should affect your beautiful past. Even if the present has forced you to leave your paradise of love.

DIVINE PRESENCE. After all, all souls once knew of the Divine Love in the Divine Presence, for we were there, with Him. And all souls left God's presence to inhabit their mortal bodies. Just because we are not directly in the Lord's presence now, does it mean that it did not happen? That the beautiful past with God never actually occurred? Simply because we find this life tiresome and hard? Full of disappointments and bitterness?

I am not bitter. I am a little sad sometimes. Mostly I am happy. Because I like to remember the greatest love that I have ever known - God. And I remember still the Foundations of Love that He left in my mortal soil. It begins from within me and reaches beyond the 8th Heaven. And there, in the perfected love of the Divine Presence, my Lord is still waiting for me, some day in the near future I shall see Him.

So all is good, you see?

Have a beautiful day, sunshine. And if you are in love... build. And do not be shy or reticent in the edifice that you wish to build with your lover. God has already shown you the way, yes?

wa min Allah at-taufiq.

I am Alchemy, I turn base events into gold. - Prose of Ramadhan Part 72

I met a Truth. She was called Alchemy. (Ramadhan Verses 38)

I was walking in the Quadrangle of Souls, when I met a truth. She said that her name was Alchemy. I asked her, "Wow! If I get to know you, will I be able to turn base metal into gold?"

"Oh, I am not THAT alchemy. I am another. Are you interested in her?" She replied.

"Well, I think that is what most people are interested in. But I am curious to know you. Your truth."

She smiled saying, "My truth is simply a story. Sit down." So we sat on a stone bench, beside which was a fish pond.

"Are you aware of the Day of Promises?" She asked me, and I nodded.

And this is how she continued her story. "So on that day all souls were gathered in the Divine Presence and asked this question - Are you willing to accept the trust (and challenges) that no other being in creation, not the suns, not the moons, not the planets not the Angels themselves are willing to carry? To which all souls answered yes. So you know the story that far, yes?

But now let me ask you this, mortal - Were the souls, indeed, were you yourself aware of the trust and tests that will come your way by taking this solemn oath before God? Did God actually show you the events and some pretty dire challenges that will face you in your life?

I pondered for a while, thinking about my own life and some of the sorrowful events that I had to muddle through... my mother's illness and death, my divorce, my own illness, and so I said "No. I reckon that God will not show us everything that would befall us. For He knows us and He will know that we are essentially weak creatures and would refuse the trust had we actually known what we are getting ourselves into."

The truth glittered with light and surprise, she was not angry but she was not entirely happy with my reply. "Oh mortal, how can you accuse God of being unfair!? For that is what you are accusing him of!" Then her light dimmed and she continued. "God showed you all, mortal. From the moment you were born, right to your own death."

"But surely I would not have accepted the trust if I had known I would face some pretty appalling events in my life, o' truth!" I argued.

She replied in the gentlest voice I have ever heard, and to this very moment I can recall her words, which made me shed tears. This was what truth answered. "Oh you did, mortal. For I was there, as I was there for each soul that has ever walked upon the soil of earth since the time of Adam. You said yes. They all said yes. None rejected the trust. And you must accept, mortal, that your own little life is blessed and little evil or pain of fate has befallen upon you. Some souls saw even worse calamities that would test their mortal existence and courage."

"So why did they... why did I accept the trust?"

The truth stood up, and she became taller than the highest heaven and her wings spread further than the furthest stars, she was aglow with the Light of Truth and I could hear music in her answer - "You were in love with the Lord, mortal! You and all your human brethren were so in love! God could have shown you hell itself, which by the way He did, and you still accepted the trust. Have you yourself not experienced in your own existence on earth, how you would say the most insane of things, promise the world and more, solely because of love?! How you would take the hand of your lover, promise her your undying and eternal faith and affection? How you say that you would face anything for her happiness? How you would swim an ocean of fire, climb the highest mountain in pursuit of her and for her sake alone? All this and more, you promised God. Don't you recall?

"I am sorry, I do not."

"Then remember now, since God has given you the happy chance of meeting me."

I looked up at truth, and she was smiling. She placed her hand upon my heart and her wings embraced me. I thought she looked utterly beautiful. "Oh, and by the way, mortal. You never asked me which Alchemy am I? Don't you want to know?"

I replied on behalf of myself and for those who may read this words. "Yes, of course. Who are you?"

She did not answer, for her lips did not move. But I heard her reply just the same, in a profoundly beautiful corner of my heart. She echoed like a timeless song, "I am Alchemy, and I turn base events of your life into gold."

....................

I hope you enjoyed the story, sunshine. May God give you the truth and wisdom to see how all that is fated for you, is all good.

wa min Allah at-taufiq.

Footnote: There are other postings on alchemy and the Day of Promises recorded in this almanac. You may click on the labels cloud which is located on the right panel of the blog. Salams!

THE DAY OF PROMISES - It happened just yesterday

177. The Day of Promises I

I created chiseled mountains

To peg the earth upon an ocean of fire.

But I created and tasked you

With a Trust far heavier.

And lo! Hotter and deeper is the sea of fire

That would ring your deeds.

And you accepted the Trust!

178. The Day of Promises II

Your ego never tires in cursing and blaming you,

For the covenant that you swore upon,

On the Day of Promises.

179. The Day of Promises III

Know that on that Day,

You were made well aware of His Love and Mercy,

And that you made your choices accordingly.

So have faith in your Lord,

And what He has bequeathed as your fate,

And regret not the promises you have made.

For on that Day, He too made promises,

And your Lord is not wont to make them lightly.

180. The Day of Promises IV

Your ego is a donkey,

Deceived into thinking it has choices,

But a wise traveler will hold the reins,

Seeing only one path

And one road

Home.

181. The Day of Promises V

O’ My Lord, have I ever left You?

Did I take leave after the Day of Promises?

If You are the Irresistible and Compelling,

Where did I ever find the will to bear

Even a moment’s parting?

These are some searching questions

I must ask my soul

When we meet!

205. The Waiting

O’ Lord,

In Thy Hand I place trust in Thy choice of time

To draw back each veil,

To pry open each petal,

To unlock each door.

It’s just that, often, the waiting is painful,

When no prose is inspiring,

Sinning is almost comforting…

O’ Lord, reawaken my senses!

O’ Lord, reawaken my senses!

As they felt, on the Day of Promises,

When You held me,

In Your Utterly Compelling Gaze.

7 YEARS AGO, I recorded the first chapter of the Dam.SunSun.Ana. And one of the matter of interest which was disclosed was the Day of Promises, which essentially was the day when we and God made our promises to one another. It was also the day when we undertook 'the Trust' which nothing and no one else in all of Creation was willing to take - The Trust of Choice - to choose between right and wrong, good and evil. I wonder what I myself was thinking when I agreed "Yeah, God! Sure, why not!", I felt I must have said when God offered this responsibility to me.

7 YEARS ON, the feeling and emotion which prevailed upon me when I wrote the prose above remains the same. In fact it is burning brighter as each day you, yes, you sunshine(!), reveal unto me the beauty and nobility in which God has made you. For it is the company of one such as you which makes each day worth living, and each breath worth breathing. I am nothing, just a sinner who hides his mistakes while writing this blog. I am certainly not good, but I have enough brains (just about enough) to recognise true goodness which I find in you.

I DON'T KNOW YOU? We have not met? We are living on different continents? - So what, sunshine? Such immaterial things like physical distance and personal commune doesn't stand in the way of the truth - that all of mankind are brothers and sisters ennobled by the love and worship of our One Creator. And I shall strive, though I have bad habits and eat too much, to hold unto that simple truth which God has always wanted us to comprehend - that we all one family from our grandfather Adam and grandmother Eve.

May our days be blessed and graced in the memory and love of Adam and Eve. It was only just recently that Eve was created and Adam was besotted by the divine beauty that God has breathed into Eve. For you see, anything in the past, however far into the distant memory it happened, well... well, it really just happened yesterday. Even the Day of Promises - which occured in the unTime before time and the concept of a mortal day was ever created. Even that actually happened just yesterday...

Pax Taufiqa

NAME? RELIGION? REMEMBER?

All Ours
All things invented and made,
All things written and read,
All things of beautiful birth
Are in truth, ours.
.

NAME? We don’t care if your name is Otto, Joshua, Ahmad, Lee, Loo, Kim, Katherine, Ambiga, Billy Bob, Sarah, Hana, Anne, Arnu, Sven, or Svetlana. You were once a beautiful baby… sprung in a beautiful birth from a beautiful mother.

.

RELIGION? Differing faiths doesn’t stand in the way of Love. In fact, differing faiths is the necessary precedence of Love. It is so easy to love what is familiar. True Love, the Brightest Star in the Firmament of Divine Reflection is to love what is unfamiliar and strange.

REMEMBER? But you are not a stranger to us. The colour of your skin maybe different, the mantra that you recite is unlike ours… But you are still familiar to us. We met once before. Before Time began we vowed our love for one another. Then God said, “Go find each other on earth!” So we were separated for awhile. But now you are here and we remember our ancient contract.

Who are we?

We are you.
.

.
Its true, you know…

Pax Taufiqa.

Children are not our Beta-versions to experiment with...

There was a Maulidur Rasul celebration at Mikhail's school last Friday. He was dressed for the function in our traditional Johorean Malay costume. I don't think he is actually Johorean but nevermind.

Later this week, Mikhail was in another costume, perhaps not so traditional. Mika is versatile that way. Kids are all open to new ideas and initiative, and I wonder just how much credit or blame we deserve when we mess about with their divine codes. As the sinner once mused ...

92. I, Wobot II
Children are not beta-versions of you to be experimented with.

I think parents should be careful as to how they bring up their children, don't you agree? I mean you can be the Dragon-Mummy or the Tigercub-Daddy or even the Papa-Grizzly, but like all systems - we need to apply any dogma with discretion. And if we screw up, Lord knows how many therapy sessions would be required to fix the poor child. I hope Mika will do fine. I worry sometimes, you know...

91. I, Wobot
Like a computer,
Every hour, divine programs
Are downloaded from the
Website in the Sky.

But it is when their elders,
Mess about with their codes,
That children become confused,
And they hang, refusing to reboot;
Ctrl, Alt, Del!
Ctrl, Alt, Del!

A LITTLE PRIDE IS OKAY. Mika came home from Kumon (Japanese-style tuition for Mathematics and English) with two bronze medals for English and Mathematics. I am not saying he is very proud of his achievements, but when I came home late, I found him sleeping in bed already, with his medallions still wrapped around his neck. Ah well. I never won anything at 7 years old. For me, getting to school on time was a good enough achievement for any day, and my sainted mother should be thankful already for that personal effort from me.

We all desire our children to be so much better than us. And above all, we do not wish to saddle our children with the emotional baggage of our own failings and regrets. We try to do good, even if we ourselves are not good. Since we share such noble sentiments, how can we not all be brothers and sisters?

Have a nice Wednesday, sunshine. I am so happy that I am well again.

Pax Taufiqa.

"Dearest," Spoke My Love..., "Merry Christmas"

56. "Dearest," Spoke My Love

"Dearest," spoke my love,
"This is my blood and it is red,
If you love me, paint the canvas
Of your life with me."

"Dearest," spoke my love,
"This is my heart and it is wounded,
If you love me, take my heart
And heal my hurt."

"Dearest," spoke my love,
"This is my hand, and it is delicate,
If you love me, hold it firmly enough for me
To know that you are here,
But don't crush my spirit."

"Dearest," spoke my love,
"This is my lips, and they
Are seldom silent, both wisdom
And folly issue forth from them,
If you love me, kiss my lips,
Listen to my wisdom, and
Ignore my foolish speech.

"Dearest," spoke my love,
"This is my memories,
"If you love me, remember where I
Come from and accept me and
My memories as one,
For we are inseparable."

"Dearest," spoke my love,
"These are my weaknesses, and I have a few,
If you love me, hide them as you would hide
Your most precious stones,
Guard my name as you would
Guard your own."

"Dearest," spoke my love,
"This is all my hope, and it is alive.
Help make it come true and I
Shall help makes yours
Come true too."

"Dearest," spoke my love,
"This is the abyss of my fears and it is dark.
Be the bridge for me to walk across, and
Whisper into my ears, 'There is nothing
To fear, now that Love is here'."

"Dearest," spoke my love,
"This is my family and they are mine.
Love them, as you love yours and
Crown me as your queen before
The Throne of Time."

"Dearest," spoke my love,
"This is my feet and they have walked
Far and wide to find you. Anoint me
In the truth of healing upon
The bed of divine relief."

"Dearest," spoke my love,
"This is my eyes, and tears have run
The length of the Nile in my sorrows.
So tell me that today I am yours,
And I am yours for
All your tomorrows."

"Dearest," spoke my love,
"This is my ears, and I am tired of
Hearing the promises of men.
So promise me nothing, but walk with me
On the path of life, Serenaded by angels,
While above us, the Moon is smiling,
Merciful and happy."

"Dearest," spoke my love,
"This is who I am, and if I appear
Foolish, teach me. And if I appear
Impatient, be patient with me.

Guide me as you are guided, and
Speak plainly to me. I need no roses
To be sprinkled before my feet, I need
No honeyed words to sooth my temper.
Just tell me that you love me
And that you will love me forever.

....................

I think the prose is as plain as day, and on this eve of Christmas, I wish all followers and lovers of Christ the very best in this Kingdom and in the Kingdom of Heaven - that you may find relief and reward in the exchanging of vows that we once made, in the name of God, Truth and Love... For you see, I remember all of you.

Merry Christmas, sunshine!

Pax Taufiqa

Footnote: Poem is from chapter entitled 'The Bride's Dress' (early 2010)