Just Like Old Times - of friendship, chance meeting and the shedding of bitterness

My Old Friend

I met him, 

I saw him last night,

And we exchange pleasantries,

I saw him last night,

And I thought him beautiful

As the first time we met,

All my bitterness,

All my sadness,

All my sorrow fell away

Like leaves on a beautiful autumn day,

We spoke for a while only,

But it was enough for me,

He was my friend, you see.

And the funny thing was last night... 

My heart unconditionally confirmed, 

"You fool, Taufiq. He still is!"

........................................

I was outside the banquet hall at a wedding. It was there that I chance into my old friend, just minding his cigarette under a bleak evening rain. He was also invited to the wedding because he is a cousin to the bride.

I anticipated this meeting, but not the outcome. For you see, he had some harsh words that he once wrote me, and I was hurt. And for the longest time, I kept my sadness and, I must admit it here, my bitterness. Like a troll sulking in the cave, I nursed my pain and bitterness like a burning itch. But after a while, even this troll grew tired of being separated from his friend. Yet even then, I did not look for my friend, and indeed, in a couple of occasions when I saw him in a social function, I slipped away. Still a troll, I guess.

So it was a relief for me, that when I bumped into him last night, with no chance of evading an encounter, my heart delighted in seeing his smiling face, shedding in an instance, two years of hurt, regret and sorrow. I was happy because I did not even have to think about it, I was simply glad to finally talk to him. And being reminded once again in his kind words and thoughtful remarks, why he is my friend.

It was just like old times. I count this as a win for the Prophet, and glory unto God, Friend of the Friends, and Best Fixer-Upper of Petty Squabbles. 

Amongst Friends... and Shaykh Raja. Sometime in 2006, I reckon.

wa min Allah at-taufiq

Hate has no place in Islam

Love will show the Way 

Bitterness - a short guide

grumble... grumble... grumble

Anger

Sufis (and everyone else really) know that getting angry is bad, but bitterness, that undercurrent of dissatisfaction rippling beneath the surface is also bad, very bad indeed. When you get angry, people know about it. So it is out in the open and can be resolved, one way or the other.

Bitterness

But bitterness, especially for people who are natural actors and talented in hiding their emotions, is a hot burning lava which will consume them from the inside. I do not know what is the quick fix to bitterness. Yes, of course we need to contemplate and reflect on the positives of this life, in our selves and in people around us. And we can also pray very, very hard that God might guide us away from the dark karma consuming us. Sometimes, this will take a while.

You are better than this!

So in the meantime what do we do? Well, in this situation I am guided by an old buddy of mine. He said that, "Taufiq ol' chum, when I am stricken by bitterness, I absolutely distrust my own judgment. I listen to what my bitter reflection has to say (after all, you cannot ignore it since it is inside of you), and I tell myself that I am reflecting in an appalling mood so whatever conclusion I may have is misleading and very wrong. So what my bitterness tells me to do, I shall do the exact opposite. It is not easy ignoring your own sentiments, but at this point in time such sentiments are not worthy of you. You are better that this! Some people call this a form of selflessness. It is a good trait to have."

A friend or two

"And of course.." he concluded, "It is good to have a friend or two to confide in. But no more than that. For not many people are capable of handling your emotions well. And you certainly don't want to confide in a potential shit-stirrer, no matter their best of intentions."

So my friend, if you are feeling bitter about something, do not give up on your good self and give in to these hateful emotions. Have patience, keep your silence and keep company with one or two good friends. You will get through it just fine.

Have a non-bitter day, sunshine.

wa min Allah at-taufiq

Hate has no place in Islam

Love will show the Way