TEN THOUSAND - the endless journey to cross the endless ocean of Muhammad Habibullah

Ten Thousand

I dream of you

And ten thousand moons,

Reflecting upon you skin

Of infinite sea,

I dream of you

And ten thousand skies,

With ten thousand meanings

Like stars clustering

In your eyes.

I dream of you

And read your ten thousand books,

And every beginning has another beginning

And every ending has another ending,

As if God never tires of writing about you,

I dream of you

Dreaming of me,

And were it not for your lessons, o' Prophet

I would not allow myself anywhere near you

Even if my journey is illuminated

By the light of the ten thousand moons,

By the stars of the ten thousand skies,

By the wisdom of the ten thousand books

Bearing your name, your stories and your life.

.................................

While in Singapore I chance upon a polite company of Sufis discoursing about saints, books and divine knowledge. And stupidly I felt a pang of jealousy, for I cannot speak of Allah(s.w.t.) and His Muhammad (s.a.w.s.) in that scholarly manner. I love books, and am a bookish man, but what I learn I often learn from the pain in my feet, the illness in my hands, the joy in my child, and the deep fathom waters of an eastern sea. I learn through hard painful lessons and the happiness of smiles and laughter that our spirit shares with us, in those rare quiet moments when the physical world blurs into the background and divine love manifests as the true guiding power of not only the spiritual world, but also the material world. 

And our ego becoming nothing but a beast of burden of our soul.

My friends, I would not suffer the Prophet Muhammad (s.a.w.s.) my own company, in my worn and shabby piety, my sickly and diseased spirit, my bitterness and my jealousies. Were it not for his calling, "Come, come, come..." I would not even speak his name. I am like a stray dog outside the Prophet's home. 

So listen not to a stray dog, sunshine. Listen to the Prophet. Indeed, only in him is the surety for your safety, happiness and success in dunya (this world) and akhirat (the world hereafter).

wa min Allah at-taufiq

Hate has no place in Islam

Love will show the Way

Gentle Sir, Kindly Sir, your train is here... - The Prince Part 5

He loves kids. Well, we all do. But not all of us always have
candies and sweets for the children. He once asked Jimbo, Moses's son why
does he like to come to the Zawiya. The young Jimbo honestly replied, "For the candies."
He laughed. Perhaps he appreciates the honesty and innocence of children.
And perhaps he wishes that the adults are more so...

What I Cannot See, This Time I Feel

Oh Gentle Sir,

Every creak of the wooden floor makes me think that you are entering my room, only for me to look up and find that you are not there.

Every tear that falls from my eyes makes me think that you will come to console me, only for me to look around and find that you are not here.

Every breath that I exhale makes me think that it will be my last, only for me to open my eyes and find that I am still alive.

Every joy in my soul makes me think of you, only for me to look into my heart and see that you are no where to be found,

But what I cannot see, Gentle Sir, this time I feel.

………………………………..

Slim, handsome and a Prince.
Gee, some guys have all the luck...

I arrived at work apprehensive. Because today is the first day I shall see my partner, who is a Mureed (student) of Shaykh Raja Ashman Ibni Sultan Azlan Shah (Ku Ash), the duly authorized head of the Naqshbandiya Sufi Order here in Malaysia. I was afraid you see, to find the sadness in my partner's eyes, overflowing with bereavement for his Master. Thus I was surprised as he arrived, blustering loudly and flustered with all sorts of work-related activity. Funny, I thought, as I observed him from across the office. I should have known that it was all just part of an act.

He has known Ku Ash for quite a while, and unlike me, he took his bay’ah (oath of loyalty) to Ku Ash seriously. He will joke around saying this isn’t true at all, making light of the matter. But I know the man is being disingenuous. For I know a man driven by love and loyalty when I see one.

After clearing our work we sat awhile in my room. Finally, he spoke about the funeral last Friday afternoon, and gentle tears fell from his face. Later, we watched a video of the funeral on the internet. And again this Aikido sensei (for he is one) cried without shame in front of everyone. This was what has been worrying me since the day Ku Ash returned to God and the Prophet. 

I Worry About Your Followers

Kindly Sir,

I worry to meet your followers,

Your students and those who love you,

Because I fear to see the sorrow in their eyes,

And I fear to see your face in their faces.

But of late, I myself am spurning the mirror,

Because I am afraid what my reflection might reveal…

Not when I know that I have done nothing,

I have achieved nothing,

I have sacrificed nothing

To be deserving of anything,

What more you.

………………………………………

But such is life. The Peace Train arrived at the station for him, you see. And Ku Ash went on board for a journey that we cannot follow. At least, not this time. I want to end this posting with a beautiful song from his generation, by Cat Stevens (now Yusuf Islam) entitled 'Oh Very Young'. This video is from Cat's 1976 Earth Tour. It is awesome...

God bless you, sunshine. Thank you for dropping by.

wa min Allah at-taufiq

Hate has no place in Islam

Love will show the Way

The Spiritual Hobo and The Spiritual Bourgeois - How to write Songs and Prose

A songwriter is driven by his feelings. I know of one famous songwriter with a large portfolio of beautiful songs before his conversion to Islam. The songs were sincere, melancholy and yearning, with a certain edginess in his music which attracted me.

After he converted to Islam, well... the songs are still rather good. But I could sense the feeling of contentment and satisfaction in the music - A 'I-am-home-already' sorta sentiment which permeates through the music and lyrics. And that is good for him personally, but for me it has lost that 'I-am-lost-I-need-to-find-my-way-back' drama and tension which rippled to the surface of his older songs.

I was talking to my brother about it, and I (cruelly, I think) commented that this musical phase as being the songwriter's 'spiritual bourgeois' phase - That middle-class suburban reality of self-satisfaction you achieve when you think that you have "made it". There is not much edginess or grit in this sort of music. The 'Blues' mood of separation, solitude, rejection, yearning and desire just fell away from the songs.

I hope that at a metaphorical level, we shall always be like hobos riding on a freight train of God. Not knowing where we might end up, living life a day at a time, a loaf of bread and an apple a day, utterly in the Mercy of the Lord who made us all. Because frankly, there is really no other way to write beautiful prose or songs.

The Love is in the searching and yearning. So may our search and yearning never end.

Have a lovely day, sunshine.

wa min Allah at-taufiq

Hate has no place in Islam

Love will show the Way

Driving under the Influence on the Cosmic Road to Enlightenment - Just how many bottles of the Divine Stuff did you consume, Ma'am?

10. Not That Drunk

You say you are drunk in His Ocean

Besotted in His Love,

But yea, still sober enough to request for intermissions,

While treading the Path.

I DON'T DRINK AND DRIVE. I am not very good with drink. And not very good at getting drunk. While I can write a whole forest of timber about Divine Love, getting intoxicated in the Divine Wine or such other exaggerated analogies and parables about God, Love and Mankind, truth be told, I am seldom drunk. And I rarely drink and drive on that cosmic road to enlightenment that I pretentiously like to call 'the Path'.

SPIRITUAL INTOXICATION. I guess you can call me a private drinker. I am not a social drinker because I prefer a bit of solitude. Indeed without solitude I cannot drink myself under the table. I need a quiet moment of reflection, a second of contemplation and if it happens, a wave of pleasure would course through the river of the soul, sparking a buzz like no other buzz promised at the bottom of the bottle. There is nothing like a little trip of spiritual intoxication. It is the joy without the hangover!

Yet drunkenness is nothing but a milestone, just another pit stop on the cosmic road. There are other stages further in the journey. More important 'stuff'... Much harder too.

88. Passion 2

Sobriety and Patience

Is better than Passion,

They become wine to those

Who have passed the state of intoxication.

May we all be good travelers along the cosmic road to enlightenment. Safe driving, sunshine!

wa min Allah at-taufiq.