What I Cannot See, This Time I Feel
Oh Gentle Sir,
Every creak of the wooden floor makes me think that you are entering my room, only for me to look up and find that you are not there.
Every tear that falls from my eyes makes me think that you will come to console me, only for me to look around and find that you are not here.
Every breath that I exhale makes me think that it will be my last, only for me to open my eyes and find that I am still alive.
Every joy in my soul makes me think of you, only for me to look into my heart and see that you are no where to be found,
But what I cannot see, Gentle Sir, this time I feel.
|Slim, handsome and a Prince.|
Gee, some guys have all the luck...
I arrived at work apprehensive. Because today is the first day I shall see my partner, who is a Mureed (student) of Shaykh Raja Ashman Ibni Sultan Azlan Shah (Ku Ash), the duly authorized head of the Naqshbandiya Sufi Order here in Malaysia. I was afraid you see, to find the sadness in my partner's eyes, overflowing with bereavement for his Master. Thus I was surprised as he arrived, blustering loudly and flustered with all sorts of work-related activity. Funny, I thought, as I observed him from across the office. I should have known that it was all just part of an act.
He has known Ku Ash for quite a while, and unlike me, he took his bay’ah (oath of loyalty) to Ku Ash seriously. He will joke around saying this isn’t true at all, making light of the matter. But I know the man is being disingenuous. For I know a man driven by love and loyalty when I see one.
After clearing our work we sat awhile in my room. Finally, he spoke about the funeral last Friday afternoon, and gentle tears fell from his face. Later, we watched a video of the funeral on the internet. And again this Aikido sensei (for he is one) cried without shame in front of everyone. This was what has been worrying me since the day Ku Ash returned to God and the Prophet.
I Worry About Your Followers
I worry to meet your followers,
Your students and those who love you,
Because I fear to see the sorrow in their eyes,
And I fear to see your face in their faces.
But of late, I myself am spurning the mirror,
Because I am afraid what my reflection might reveal…
Not when I know that I have done nothing,
I have achieved nothing,
I have sacrificed nothing
To be deserving of anything,
What more you.
But such is life. The Peace Train arrived at the station for him, you see. And Ku Ash went on board for a journey that we cannot follow. At least, not this time. I want to end this posting with a beautiful song from his generation, by Cat Stevens (now Yusuf Islam) entitled 'Oh Very Young'. This video is from Cat's 1976 Earth Tour. It is awesome...
God bless you, sunshine. Thank you for dropping by.
wa min Allah at-taufiq
Hate has no place in Islam
Love will show the Way