AT THE COURT OF THE KING, IN THE KINGDOM OF GOD EVERLASTING... someone is waiting.

If I knew me, I would envy me

Weeping widows would envy my sorrow,

Smiling babies would envy my joy,

Beggars would envy my poverty,

Kings would envy my riches,

Thinkers would envy my knowledge,

Lovers would envy my sadness

Pharaohs would envy my pride,

But above all. I would definitely envy me, 

If only God would lead me to me and tell me... 

" Here. Here you are.

With Me.

..........................

It is a tiring journey, don't you reckon? This never-ending search for yourself. Yet, there you are, sitting comfortably in your sofa. Lying in bed. Eating, living, drinking, breathing. But however happy you may be in this life, however contented you may feel, the truth is that there is an emptiness inside you. And life is all about finding meaning to fill that emptiness. To give meaning to who you are, where you came from, where you are heading to. For the answers to all these questions will lead you to some realisation of who you truly are. And the man (or woman) who knows himself, ultimately, will know of God.

But this little quest does not seem to have an ending, does it? You travel, from one horizon of your life to the next. And when you have scaled one hill, you find another, then another... and another. From birth to the cradle, childhood to the teenage years, through schools, colleges and universities, work to marriage to children to grandchildren, to grey bearded dotage.

This morning someone told me of the wisdom of this endless journey, this timeless quest, is because something is purposely delayed by your Maker. And the only reason why some good thing is postponed, is directly in relation to the worth of that something. So do not fret (too much) in your discontent. For that is a sign that God is keeping something that will satisfy you only when you arrive in the Divine Presence. And it is not something that this world and universe is worthy of holding. It awaits you across the threshold.

So live life well, and let go of it in good spirit. Something sovereign in value awaits you at the Court of the King, in the Kingdom of God Everlasting - Muhammad Habibullah (saws)... and you. 

wa min Allah at-taufiq

Hate has no place in Islam

Love will show the Way

NOT EVERY EYE CAN SEE. NOT EVERY EAR CAN HEAR

Assumptions

Not everyone who is breathing is living,

Not everyone who is reading is learning,

Not everyone who is hearing is listening,

Not everyone who is talking is sharing,

Not everyone who is bent down in prayer is praying,

Not everyone who is smiling is happy,

Not every eye can see,

Not every ear can hear, 

Not every success is sweet,

Not every failure is bitter, 

.........

Think long. Drink deep your wine of contemplation. Every person you meet, every happenstance in your life, each breath, each moment is worthy of an infinity of reflection. 

So put down that iPhone. Shut down that Samsung. Disconnect for awhile and show courtesy to your friend and family, to your dinner companion, to the stranger sitting next to you in the bus. They are looking to you for a little mercy, a little compassion. And mercy is often heralded by sweet human courtesies. 

Many people assume themselves to be part of humanity, but they are often away, Lost in the distractions of Twitters, Instagrams, emails and Whatsapp. "I am here, I am alive and real.", their companion is beseeching them for attention and empathy, but alas they hear but do not listen.

So let us disconnect for awhile, and reconnect with each other. There is still so much goodness in this world to give, to receive and to share.   

wa min Allah at-taufiq

Hate has no place in Islam

Love will show the Way

THINK WELL OF YOURSELF - If you don't, who will? Hu will!

Thinking Well

Think well of yourself,

That you will be good and do good,

That your efforts in charity and piety

Is motivated by the best of reasons

And with the deepest of sincerity.

Think well of yourself,

Whatever villainy you did yesterday,

However lost you became yesterday...

For yesterday is yesterday,

Today is today

And tomorrow is tomorrow...

For verily, Allah and His Rasul

Always thinks well of you.

.....................................

A True Story. Joseph (my friend) was tending sheep and goats under the care of his master. One late night, Joseph was caught by the night watchmen of the city in possession of contraband (Hashish). Early morning at 1.00 am the master arrived at the city hall to post bail and got Joseph out. The master said not one word in anger or condemnation through the quiet drive home.

After a restless night of guilty contemplation, Joseph woke up and the day's chore of tending to the animals began as any other ordinary day. He met the master at the goat house and they started to clear and clean the feed trough. Finally, unable to bear his emotions, Joseph blurted out, "You know, I am really sorry about what happen last night!"

The master paused in mid-scoop, straightened his back and turned to Joseph. Then he said, "There is nothing to be sorry about. Today is a new day, yesterday was yesterday and tomorrow will be tomorrow. Let us leave what happened yesterday to yesterday." He then smiled and returned to his labour.

I wonder how people get away from judging other people, especially when circumstances makes it so natural for us to judge! But I guess that is difference between me and Joseph's master. It is not natural to him because he has not permitted his ego to be his natural state.

God bless him. God bless Joseph. And God bless you, sunshine. 

wa min Allah at-taufiq

Hate has no place in Islam

Love will show the Way

Happy to be Unknown in the Only Truth that Deserves to be Known - Mika and Rihanna...

Mikhail's endless 'Papa this...' and 'Papa that...' drives me crazy.
But happiness is... listening to a trans-pacific call
from your 8 year old son saying the exact same thing. 

1. Each second it gets better and better

Each second of my life,

Each moment that comes

Is more beautiful,

More honoured and more blessed

Than the last moment

Preceding it.

For you see, the division

Of time is illusory,

It is a necessary condition

Of existence when God created

And ordered the Sun to precede the Moon,

As day turns into night,

And seasons come and go.

For the truth is that

Time and space

Is one single giant canvas,

And the Lord whom I know and love

Is an Artist of Unimaginable Brilliance

Who would not leave a single colour and shade

In my life which was not beautiful and meaningful

With the true essence of Divine love and understanding!

Am I frightened to know this?

Of course, I am!

Am I happy to know this?

Happy beyond words!

Happy to know, happy to be known,

Happy to be unknown in the only Truth

That deserves to be known!

Goodbye and peace of heaven to thee, seekers!

........................

Spotted!

It doesn't take much to make me pleased. Earlier today, Mikhail, my 8-year old son called from LA, California. It seems that the entire family of his mum, Gina and his stepdad Herman, saw Rihanna (yes, the umbrella singer... who else?). Mika was less than impressed by the sighting (after all, she is JUST a girl) but he sounded happy, and of that I am glad.

I cannot stay long, sunshine. Too many chores to run back here in Malaysia.

The prose was in fact recorded more than 3 years ago. I am contented to see that things haven't changed. And indeed, if things have changed, it has changed for the better. So as the poem ends, so does this posting... Goodbye and peace of heaven to thee, seekers!

wa min Allah at-taufiq

Hate has no place in Islam

Love will show the Way

The Gardener in the Garden of Stones - Eidul Fitri and my mother

The Gardener

Goodbye sweet smile,

How you broke the gloom of night

In your breaking dawn each time

You turned and smiled at me,

Goodbye gentle heart,

How you lifted me up every time I fell,

How you gathered me in your arms

And assured me that you will always be there,

Goodbye kindly soul,

How you made this house a home

And how you fed everyone who came

With food and kindness,

Goodbye beautiful spirit,

How struck I was with your passing

Never to know when we shall meet again,

Under an overcast sky, I took myself away

And in solitude, I began to cry,

Goodbye loving gardener,

Where are you now tending to the flowers and trees?

In whose garden are you pottering and weeding?

For I hope they appreciate your love and work

Among your geraniums and orchids

Far more than your son ever did.

………………………………..

Each Eidul Fitri that marks the end of Ramadhan finds me just that bit more quiet, just that bit more introspective, as sweetness and sadness mix in the vessel of emotion that we call the human spirit.

This Eidul Fitri is the 10th since my mother left the bosom of her family and friends. She was a lot of things to a lot of people. She was a dutiful and caring wife, a generous and loving mother, a smiling matriarch of the extended family, a concerned sister to all her siblings and an unforgettable personality to her many, many close friends. But to the big garden that once adorned our home for 20 years at No.2 Lorong Basong, she was The Gardener. Every morning I would see her pottering around the garden, watering and trimming the plants, fertilizing the soil and cutting away at the weeds that is her eternal enemy. Later she would scold me for kicking my football into the shrubs and knocking down some of her beloved flowers and ferns.

What I would give to have her come in right now and scold me.

Have a wonderful Eidul Fitri, sunshine.

wa min Allah at-taufiq

Hate has no place in Islam

Love will show the Way

The Best Things in Life Are Free - lovingly wrapped in your mortal skin and crowned with a heart and a conscience

I am a confirmed hoarder. My bedroom and my office is full of knick knacks and bric-a-brac from my misadventures over the past couple of years. A few are impulsive purchases, but nowadays, as I grow old, I tend to contemplate long and hard before buying anything. It can be as big as the purchase of a new car to something trivial like a new pair of walking shoes. I don’t why know why I do it. Perhaps it is because of my fondness for familiar things. Take the walking shoes for instant. It’s a New Balance, and I have had it for almost 7 years I. Literally it is now in its last gasp of life, barely hanging on - having been re-glued at least twice and stitched once over the past year.

But nothing beats the free stuff. I think that old saying, ‘The best things in life are free’ is so true. Take for instance this picture of my ‘possessions’. I put the word in open and close inverted commas because these things are not really mine. I am simply holding these gifts in my care and custody for a while. The long beige velvet Mehlevi hat is from my Turkish hombre, Mr. Ihsan Aslan, who gave it to me about 4 months ago. The small green and red insignia of the Prophet (pbuh) adorning the hat was given to me about 8 months previous by an Indonesian of Yemeni extract from the Hadramaut region, this same Mr. Ahmad Alatas also gave me the two hundred beaded tasbih (rosary). The yellow turban cloth is at least 20 years old, but it was given to me by my own brother, Mr. Saiful Bahri some 4 years back. And beneath all that headgear is little Muhammad Mikhail bin Taufiq. And he was given to me some 8 years ago by God Almighty.

I do not know why they give me these things. Perhaps they believe that I have been a good friend and brother (What a ridiculous idea). I certainly cannot fathom why God gave me Mika. Perhaps it is because He sees something in me that is lost to my own sight, but is apparent and clear in His Vision. I cannot say that I will succeed (in fact I have little faith), but I hope to one day see this Taufiq He is seeing. Because once I perceive who I really am, I shall be able to perceive God. And finally get to 'know' Him better. At long last...

At least that is what bearded wise men tell me.

If you are a father or mother, I think this is a good quest to take up. And even if you have no children, it is still a good quest. After all, you are God’s gift and trust to your own father and mother. So again, there must be something utterly perfect and beautiful in you that God had decided to present you to your parents as a precious gift of His own creation - Lovingly wrapped in your mortal skin and crowned with a heart and a conscience.

Have a lovely Monday, sunshine.

wa min Allah at-taufiq

Hate has no place in Islam

Love will show the Way

Something to Smile About...

I Am Not Offering Sighs

I am not offering sighs

Of painful sorrow

But smiles,

Nor fears of tomorrow

Full of doubt.

So Smile, love,

And take your share

Of certainty

From my share.

...................

Hullo, sunshine. Welcome to the almanac. I really have nothing to share today but smiles. In fact, contradictory as it appears, I have always opted to put my best foot forward and write in an optimistic and hopeful way in this sinners' log. And always with an optimistic ending. 

The Angels themselves doubted God's decision to place mankind as His viceregent-representative on Earth. And I think Mankind has been pretty good at being bad. But Mankind has also been exceedingly good at being good. Without even having to look at historical personalities like Prophets, Philanthropists, Teachers and Statesmen, we can see the daily examples of goodness in our parents, brothers and sisters, friends and colleagues.

Remember when you were young?
Even when you are sick and riddled with chicken pox you are beautiful...

And in our children, of course. Especially in our children, where goodness is mixed with the breath-taking beauty of youth. Now that is something to smile about, isn't it?

Have a smileful day, sunshine.

wa min Allah at-taufiq

Hate has no place in Islam

Love will show the Way

Tea, Coffee and the Barely-there Mustache

Tea-drinkers - "Coffee is the beverage for barbarians..."

A Cup of Flux
Last night I was pottering around the kitchen
When suddenly, a flux in time and space
Found myself walking with my head high up in the clouds,

And although I found the experience breath-taking
I could not see what my feet was doing,
And frankly, I was starting to get dizzy...

So I returned to my normal size
And happily, things are now
As they have always been…
As they ought to be,

And I am me once again,
Just a man, tired and sleepy,
Pottering in his kitchen
Making some tea.

…………………………………………

Everyone loves tea. Except for those who prefer coffee, like me. But I have a sneaky feeling that in the great working of the Universe, tea is up there for the elite and learned, while coffee is left for the barbarians and peasants like me. This may not be true, it is just a feeling, after all.

I am cool, learned and unbelievably good-looking.
I drink tea.

The Turks love tea so much that I recall Ihsan the Turk dabbing his one-month old son's lips with drops of tea. "Rafael will learn to like tea, brother." He explained to me. Well, if you do that, of course he will.

In honour of tea, I am in fact having iced milk tea right this very moment. Sitting with me are my neighbourhood street-sweepers who begin the day with breakfast at ALAI, an Indian Muslim restaurant near my house. They are a noisy cheerful lot, considering they are sweeping the streets and picking up litter and garbage all day. Why is it that Indian men like to keep mustaches? To be honest, I am myself trying to grow a mustache. I think a mustache would give my face 'character'. But jeepers, when I am surrounded by these guys with their great big thick black upper-lip hair... Well, I feel rather inadequate with my own thin sparse barely-there mustache.

Oh well.

Have a beautiful facial hair day, sunshine, if you are a man that is. If you are a woman, then have an ordinary beautiful day sans facial hair.

God bless.

Hate has no place in Islam

Love will show the Way

Men Wearing Long Beards Tell Me This - God, Prophet, the Saints, the Saintly and the Less-than-Saintly

Men Wearing Long Beards Tell me This

My Lord, My God,

My Master, My Prophet...

Men wearing long beards tell

Me this of You,

They tell me this is Who You are,

And this is what You have given me,

And this is what You will give me,

They tell me what I should feel about You,

They tell me what and how I should speak to You,

They tell me all so many things,

But I cannot force my feelings,

If I do not feel gratitude,

If I do not feel empathy,

If I do not feel love for You

What can I do?

Men wearing long beards share

Their love, their intimate servanthood to You with me,

This only makes me want

What only You can give,

So I am asking you, o' Lord, o' God,

O' my Master and Prophet...

...............

It is not only saints or saintly people that share with me their experiences with God. It is even the less-than-saintly that sometimes let escape a shy confession. My continuing happiness is to find them still thinking of God, still looking for their unmistakable connection to the Divine Presence, however unworthy they feel their present state to be.

If they are older than me, sometimes I think it better for God to give them my days. If they are sicker than me, sometimes I think it better for God to give them my body. If they are tired and lonely, sometimes I think it better for God to give them what little strength I have and the company of my honoured friends. For you know, to be perfectly honest with you now, I don't think I am making full use of what I have...

I am chasing the days and nights, the hours and minutes that are flying pass me to share with you something good. Which I hope I am. For I have lived my life in such folly that you would be ashamed to know me.

So do not think that your visit means nothing to me. It does. More than you will ever know. For don't you know, whoever you are? You are my love and my sunshine.

A sun bloomed in my garden, and it was you...

And may God bless you always.

wa min Allah at-taufiq

Hate has no place in Islam

Love will show the Way

Become a Bridge. Don't Burn the Bridge.

104. What’s Your Name Again?

My name is unimportant

My life is insignificant

Words are all that is left of me.

And even they are on loan,

A bridge to the Great Unknown

To a Liege Who desires to be known.

TWITTERWARS. First there were flaming emails, as human conflict ascends into the internet. Then it became twitter wars, as people fight each other in full view of the world.

MORONS. I can understand that in the spur of anger and frustration, we lose it and we say things we would regret. What is more culpable however is when people actually take the time and trouble to write something nasty in an email, on Facebook or on Twitter. I can easily forgive the sudden impulse of verbal discontent that we sometimes let fly. “Moron!” is my favourite adjectives for inconsiderate drivers. My sainted late mother would let burst an even more earthier condemnation of drivers whom she believed had been severely uncivil… “Makan taik punya orang!” Literally meaning, “Those damn shit-eating people!”.

So we lose our temper, because that is the price of living in a society of imperfect mankind. It just happens. In fact, I would probably lose temper even when alone on a deserted island. No doubt, I would catch my reflection in a secluded pond, before muttering, “You damn fool. Look what happens when you go cheap on the ferry ride…”

WRITING. But writing is different. Writing requires introspection. It demands contemplation of the words and the meaning we intend for the reader. Surely, if you had to sit back to write something, and if you reflect into your inner space, your conscience and your heart, SURELY there must be something good to write, instead of the damning judgment of some other person. Surely, at the end of it all, whatever we write, especially nasty thoughts, will have no good result. Not for you nor for the intended reader…

I write because I like to write about God. And about the beautiful persons that He acquaints Himself with. So I write about the Prophets, the Companions and the Saints. But I also like to write about ordinary people. Because for whatever reason which I cannot imagine, God acquaints with us too. Indeed He seems Most Preoccupied with us.

So write about the good and God, sunshine. Become a bridge. Don't burn the bridge.

Pax Taufiqa

Hate has no place in Islam

Love will show the Way

The Ordinary People Who Make this World an Extraordinarily Better Place to Live in - Saints & our Conscience

3. My Conscience

The cold and solitude

Of my eyes that I spoil and coddle,

The hunger pangs of my heart 

To which I yield little.

A lost sheep, astray from the flock,

A wayward ship, dashed against the rocks.

8. Third Eye

If He created the illusion,

Verily, He created the Third Eye

To pierce all illusions.

If He created the maze,

Verily, He also created the Stars

To guide you home.

And if He created Sin,

Verily, He also created the pangs of conscience

To bring you back,

However far you have roamed.

THE GOOD PEOPLE. I suspect that there are actually a lot of good people out there. I would like to believe, and indeed I do believe that most people tend to be decent and kind, quietly living their lives, trying to earn an honest living and bringing up their children as best they can.

I love such people. For I am not like them, me being a sinner of sorts. I am grateful for the good people living among us sinners. Those who did not dash themselves against the rocks of their egos. Those who did not allow their pride or hubris to misguide them.

US SINNERS. But even for us sinners, there is always a way home. A guide to bring us back into the fold of the good people. A star to guide us home from our wayward travel. In Sufi stories such stars are often in reference to the Companions of the Prophet and the Saints.

ORDINARY BUT SAINTLY. But sometimes the heavenly star that God provides for us are not a Saint per se, but the saintly among us. The anonymous friend, the kind stranger, the loving sister, the ordinary people who make this world an extraordinarily better place to live in. It is they who speak for our own conscience when we ourselves are deaf to it.

When the Saints are not around, it is to them that I owe so much.

Have a lovely day, sunshine.

wa min Allah at-taufiq

Hate has no place in Islam

Love will show the Way

Mankind is a Natural Construct, so Religion Must be the Most Natural Thing to You

7. Oh Simplicity!

When the book is not a book anymore,

When the man is not a man anymore,

When the heart is not a heart anymore,

And you are not you anymore

But a vagabond knocking and begging entry,

O, man! Behind the closed door,

See now who will answer thee!

I am told that if you seek Truth, you must discard all pretensions, and all pretensions of no pretensions. I am told that only then, will your spiritual path open a vast expanse of reality hidden from the human eye. A horizon of endless possibilities, but determined by one sole vision and aim, to reach the Divine Presence. If you follow a religion, it should guide you to this through the most natural inclination of a man (or a woman), for we are all natural constructs in both the physical and metaphysical sense. For Nature, which is the reflection of God on this world, encompasses both what is seen and unseen, what is known and unknown.

I am told many things, and they are no secrets. You can find them in books and oral stories of the Sufis and other mystics. Such information has given me solace and structure in my untidy life. I am sure you can do better than me. Perhaps it may even transform you...

Have a constructive day, sunshine!

wa min Allah at-taufiq

Hate has no place in Islam

Love will show the Way

I Am Writing a Prose of Postures & Words - the Muslim Five

I Pray a Prose of Postures & Words

First it was a choice

And a passing fancy,

Secondly, it became an obligation

And a pious chore,

Then it became a choice once again

And I did as I pleased once more,

Before returning as an obligation

And a firm habit,

Then it became a part of history

That I am writing...

A prose of postures and words

Passed through the ages.

Now I claim to know nothing,

But take it all

A day at a time,

Five times a day,

From sunrise to sunset.

The Prophet once shared that of all things in this world, there are three which evokes his great affection... “Made beloved to me from your world are women and perfume, and the coolness of my eyes is in prayer.”

How fond I am of people who have found similar affections in their lives. There are undoubted meanings within meanings contained in the Prophet's traditions, but of the three, I am today curious about prayers. And this is what one man shared with me just a moment ago...

"Life is about perception, and in your perception you create and carry the world within you. From the moment you open your eyes until you close them for the last time, you bear the burden of your actions, and the actions of others in the world of your consciousness. The prayers obligated upon you is not for God's sake, but for your own sake - To rest awhile, to take stock of the past few hours, to lean against the Oneness of God in the Oneness of your intimacy. To turn away from the world but for a few moments to gaze upon the True Reality in your honoured state of servanthood, prostrating as you are, before the Utter Mastery of He Whom we all worship."

I asked him in response, "Have you felt so passionately in your prayers?" He laughed and replied ruefully, "If I did, do you think I would still be here? No, my friend, I am not 'there'. But the journey to get 'there' is beautiful. So I am thankful for what is granted now, and hopeful for what may be granted later."

May you find peace and tenderness in your own prayers, sunshine, however you may be praying to our One God.

Pax Taufiqa

Hate has no place in Islam

Love will show the Way

I Will See You In the Morning of Your Life

What a strange morning it is. I woke up and looked at my watch. 6.30am! Half-awake I jostled Mikhail out of bed,"Get up, Mika! Get up! It's already 6.30, you gotta shower quick!" We normally get him to school just before 7am. I stumbled into my washroom for my morning ablutions and when I got out I inadvertently glanced at my watch again. What the...? It was just past 5.45am. At 5.46am I am back in bed under the duvet. At 5.55am, I heard Mika walk into the room, "Let's go, Papa."

"Err, it's not even 6 yet, Mika."

"Whaaaat?!" Exploded Mikhail.

Sorry, Mikhail. My bad.

Later I was driving him to school and saw that the temperature indicator read it to be 22 degrees Celsius. By Malaysian standards, that was exceedingly cold. It rained last night, you see. Seeing the leaves, broken branches and remnants of bird's nests lying on the roads, it must have been quite a downpour. But in Malaysia it is habitually 'quite a downpour'.

127. Audacity

The dew on the grass in early morning makes me happy

The puddle of water left by the evening rain leaves me merry

The Sun glimmering behind a veil of green canopy keeps me cheery

And God is most-pleased with those who smile

Whatever the hour

Who have the audacity to be happy

When all life seems sour.

Life is not sour. Life is good, especially in a bracing and cold morning. I will see you, sunshine, in the morning of your life.

Pax Taufiqa

Hate has no place in Islam

Love will show the Way

The Angels, The Emerald Sea and The New Voice

When Angels cry out, "do you not see us?"

1. Emerald Sea

I wish I could share with you all that l have seen,

All that l have felt, all that l have touched and tasted.

Not from a distant but in the intimate moments that I have experienced.

When a voice whispered 'glorify the Lord this way'

When angels cry out 'do you not see us?'

When my heart confides 'I am so happy!...'

And the Prophet enjoins '...because you have not forgotten me!'

Can you believe me?

Ah… Had you been there! Had you only been there!

But do not worry o’ desiring soul!

For the moments l have passed through are the moments ahead for you.

And l say this as one soulbird to another....

Set free by the Creating Heart

To sing His Glory

High above the green waves

Of His Emerald Sea.

I have posted this prose earlier. But I picked up a pair of chinese paint brushes yesterday and I figured that the angel picture I painted kinda suits the prose. Especially the quoted caption.

As I have said before, I have never ever seen an Angel of God. It is all impressionism, and one based not on sight (obviously) but emotion. I have never painted with a chinese paint brush before and I kinda like experimenting with the strokes, the ink and its weight. I normally sketch using calligraphy pens. The great thing about working with a new medium of art is I never know what is actually gonna happen. Much like life, you know?

It is like finding a new voice. At the age of 41, this makes me exceedingly happy.

Have a beautiful day, soulbird. Join me in my happiness. Find yourself a new voice too.

wa min Allah at-taufiq

Hate has no place in Islam

Love will show the Way

Doubt and the Honey of Certainty

15. I appreciate Doubt

Doubt is my enemy.

But I have my Captain on my side,

While Doubt stands alone.

And when my Captain blinks,

Doubt perishes,

Becoming a mere moment of uneasiness

In an Eternity of contentment and happiness.

So you see,

I appreciate Doubt,

Because if there was no Doubt,

The Honey of Certainty would pale in taste.

I had a chat with a friend. I asked him, "Are you certain in your belief of the Prophet Muhammad?" And he replied, "No. Otherwise I would not be doing bad things, and I would certainly be doing more good things."

But I disagreed. I think that we all have certain beliefs that are sacrosanct. After all, most people will tell you that they are 110% certain till the day they die that they are loved by their mothers and fathers. And our parents teach us all to do good and avoid being a problem to ourselves, our family and the community. Yet sometimes we fumble the ball. We do a googly and make some mistakes. We can become immoral, and steal, cheat and lie. Or we can become super-moral and become lost in our hubris and pride of our 'piety' and sense of righteousness. We become the sort of people that others avoid at parties.

The truth is the doubt which we all share is doubt in ourselves. Not in God, by whatever name you may call Him. For years we have been confounded by our own self-doubt. In our inability to appreciate our true potential and promise as a human being. If you cannot find that certainty in yourself, you will never truly benefit from the certainty that you have in the people whom you love and who love you back. God included. Because you do not trust yourself. But how can you trust yourself when you have not found yourself...?

So have a good day searching, sunshine. The Honey of Certainty is you.

wa min Allah at-taufiq

Hate has no place in Islam

Love will show the Way

Women and Problematic Facial Hair - First Day of 2012

I have a problem with facial hair. I don't really have enough of it. This would be good news if I was a woman, but bad if I am a man with ambitions of a beard. No, I have not been keeping beard for the past 10 years because of religious tradition. I simply discovered that a crop of facial hair strategically grown on my chin helps hide my double chin.

19. Beards

Some men wear beards

Only to hide their double-chins

And double-faces.

A pretty-looking mask hiding

A pretty forked tongue.

I hope I don't have a forked tongue. At least I try not to make it a habit of lying.

Until yesterday I have allowed my beard to grow long-ish. And I then found out that apart from the scarcity of hair, I also have unruly beard gene. My beard refuses to abide by the laws of gravity. Unlike other beards which falls obediently in a downwards direction, my rebellious facial hair likes to spring to life at the gentlest provocation, bending sideways and often times upwards, as if reaching for the sky. Nobody wants their beard reaching for the sky.

So I finally done the deed and when to a new Indian barber. It is a new Indian barber because I was actually on my way with Heche to brunch in her neighbourhood of Taman Tun. We were coming to park near the restaurant when she suddenly sprang to life, "Look! Look! A barbershop, and it's open. And hey, there's no customers, you don't have to wait at all!" From this you may gather that Heche doesn't like my long beard much.

The barbershop contained the friendliest barbers I have ever found, greeting me with white toothy smiles and "Happy New Year! Happy New Year!" And in a couple of minutes, the eldest barber was done trimming my untidy facial shrubbery. As I was about to pay I saw 2 rattan basket containing cheap colourful brushes and combs, so I inquired as to their prices. "No, boss. This is New Year's Day present." replied the shopowner. I picked an orange hair brush. Hurrah, a New Year's Day gift for me. It really made my day. And of course, I am gonna come to this barbershop from now on. Ah, what can I say?... I am a sucker for free gifts.

As I walked to Heche who was waiting for me at the restaurant, I was pleased as punch, grinning and feeling good. Heche smiled when she saw me, but commented, "Hmm. The barber should have trimmed your beard shorter." There is no pleasing them sometimes, you know. Shorter? Honestly.

8. Ah, a Woman

Fragile, soft

And yielding,

But ever so

Commanding.

How's your year been so far. sunshine?

wa min Allah at-taufiq

Hate has no place in Islam

Love will show the Way

Super Dad and the Language of the Trees

Well, Mika was dropped off at my house today by his mom (her official name is Halimah, but she likes to be known as Gina. So, of course we will all refer to her as Halimah) and Uncle Herman after their visit to Universal Studio's theme park in ol' Singapore. As promised he returned bearing gifts, including the one presently on display on my work table. He was playing with it, when I told him to be careful. "Why?" He inquired. "Well, Mika, because it is made of plastic. That is only gold paint. You will scratch it if you are not careful."

"Ooh." He said, and nothing more. Later however he was obviously a bit perturbed and commented to me, "I am sorry, Papa, that the thing is not real..." I said, "Well, Mika. I don't really care. But do you mean what it says?" as I ran my finger across the emblazoned statement. "Of course, Papa!" He ejaculated.

"Well, then it is REAL to me."

So it was a really tiny Santa that came to me in the early morning of this glorious Sunday. I had an inkling something good was going to happen, and you know how? Because of the wind. It blew sprightly outside as the leaves rustled and bustled, the bough and branches bending to the will of the wind. And it spoke to me in a language of the trees, "Good morning, Taufiq. Something good cometh!"

I am not a super dad. I am just a dad. But having a son like mine does make me feel super. God bless all our children, and our fathers and mothers. They are all extraordinary. We must do our best to be deserving of them always... It is not always easy, but we gotta try. Have a beautiful day, sunshine.

wa min Allah at-taufiq

Hate has no place in Islam

Love will show the Way

Fences, Saints and Feral Dogs

108. Tall Fences

Come to your senses

My would-be martyrs!

And rely not on man-made borders

That keep outsiders out,

For today you may be within

Come tomorrow you may be without.

Then we shall see how well you fare

Clambering up your proud fences

Built tall and fair

With your incessant and foul pretences.

Marx was right. Religion is often the opiate of the masses, not being the fault of the religion itself. Today religion can be an olive branch, but tomorrow it may be an assault rifle. Religion grows the form of what the man holds within. If he is ruled by his heart and conscience, he will be dressed in his heart and conscience, and whatever he does will permeate with love, mercy, kindness, delicacy, patience, tolerance and empathy. If he is ruled by his ego, his action will often reflect the hate, hubris, envy, jealousy, bitterness, despair and sorrow that he nurses within.

We are our worst enemy. For my own religion, I see a defining group who has the habit of labeling what is Islamic and Unislamic. They meander through the body and society politic, delivering judgments with their words and eyes. No, they are not the politicians and preachers only. They are also us, we ourselves who in our daily lives often judge people. Questioning the veracity of their spirit and soul. But who questions the questioners? Such people often build up fences, saying, "We are the right ones. You are the wrong ones." But who's to say that is true? Already they are wrong, for acting without etiquette, which is the essence of the Adab (good manners) of Islam.

Love. Both good and evil has its pretences. If you want to be good, leave the pretences of piety and goodness behind. Stay awhile here with me, on earth where both saints and sinners can mix, do not deny that we are imperfect in so many ways, and that only common empathy and compassion stands between our peace and the war of feral dogs. It is raining now, so you see... even the sky agrees with me.

Have a perfect Sabbath and xmas, sunshine. And happy solstice too!

wa min Allah at-taufiq

Hate has no place in Islam

Love will show the Way