BLUE SKY, GOD & YOU - the haze, the hermitage

The Song of Solitude

I am caressed by the silence,

Listening to the song of solitude,

Alone, here in the hermitage in the sky,

I am as I am, asking God,

The pre-Eternal question...

"Who, what, how and why?"

.........................

After almost one week away, I am back at the hermitage, accompanied with the blue sky that was painfully absent for one week since the smoggy haze enveloped my sad country. But now, the blue and white wispy clouds are back, and I think my fellow countrymen have learned not to take anything for granted, certainly not the heavenly roof of the Earth. In any affliction, there is always wisdom to learn.

Lest You Forget

I made the sky of beautiful blue hue,

And the clouds of white luster,

And it is I Who keep them blue and white,

Lest you forget who is their Creator!

Lest you forget who is your Creator!

........................

Yesterday an old friend of mine accompanied me home for awhile. He was delighted to find a balcony which opened up into the sky, and there he prayed his Asr and Maghrib prayers. Later last night, I sent him home.

But the hermitage is not a place for friends, I think. Well, at least not living, tangible ones. I find this place a calm quite oasis of solitude, and in this palpable silence, the voices of those whom we consider 'dead' are very much alive. I put 'alive' in quotes because Allah (s.w.t.) has said that those who pass away in the state of witnessing (syahid) is very much alive (and well). And I believe that Allah's declaration of these souls' life means more than the brief life that you and I are currently breathing, sunshine. These souls are of course the Prophet Muhammad (s.a.w.s.), His Family, Companions and Saints. Like stars twinkling in the twilight mist they are a joy constant, an assurance eternal and a sign of hope warranted by the Creator Himself, Allah the Beautiful, Allah the Just and All-Merciful.

Some fair thoughts, sunshine, on this fair and blue Friday.

wa min Allah at-taufiq

Hate has no place in Islam

Love will show the Way

I AM LOOKING FOR 'I' - a sinner in a hermitage in the sky

I looking for 'I'

I am looking for 'I',

Leaving my home to look for home,

I am looking for 'I',

Leaving myself to find myself,

I am looking for 'I',

So God shan't sigh,

"My dear old chum, 

You never even tried."

I am looking for 'I'

And leaving my 'I'ness behind,

So look for me, my friend,

At the Hermitage in the Sky.

Hermitage in the Sky. Over the past couple of weeks, the sinner (that is me, a regular old sinner, nothing extraordinary) was considering taking an apartment in the area of Damansara Damai which is, I reckon about 1 hour plus drive (during rush hour) or a mere 15 minutes away (at any other time) from my lifelong neighbourhood of Bukit Damansara. So after much thought, I have decided to take the place for one month trial period. Most landlords would balk at such a proposal, but I have no landlord, for it is a she, and the landlady is my good friend, Rina.

Early this morning I went over to sweep and mop the first floor before going to the office. Let me tell you that mopping is no joke. Mop, rinse, mop, rinse, mop, rinse. And it was initially annoying because the floor was dusty and wet, so wherever I mopped I would leave a trail of mucky foot prints all over the place. So I would wipe the foot prints, again and again and again until there was no more trail of dirt on the marbled floor.

Adab of the Mop. And this mop story is important to me because it is a reflection of life. Often we look at other people and see dirt and stains on their character, and we are resolved to rehabilitate these poor sinners, without noticing the trail of debris and muck we ourselves leave behind in 'helping' them. Because we are not helping actually, but in truth, judging. When you are alone with a mop your mind wanders. He he he.

I brought Mak Ndak, my late mum's elder sister to see the place last weekend. She said it was kinda far, but she thinks it is pretty. That is good enough for me. As my mother is not around anymore, it is important that I have her blessings, albeit my stay may only be a while...

About this transition, I am both happy and sad. Which, when you think of the state of the world, ain't really too bad.

See you at the hermitage, sunshine.

wa min Allah at-taufiq

Hate has no place in Islam

Love will show the Way

The United Kingdom, Beatles & Pink Floyd, the Oracle and the Columbine Massacre. And something about houses - Books connect us

Was the queue long? Is the Pope Catholic?

Hi, sunshine. As I mentioned earlier, we visited the Big Bad Wolf Book Sale last Sabbath, and below are some gems I managed to purchase at really great discounts. They are not the latest books, but awesome nonetheless.

A chilling read says Oprah.
I agree.

'The Sceptred Isle Twentieth Century' is essentially a large but effective tome covering the United Kingdom's 100 years. Great up to page 50 already, and the only sad thing (for me at least) is that it also highlights the crisis in the early 1900s which saw the slow demise of the Ottoman Empire, beginning in the Balkans as well and the southern tip of the Arabian Peninsular. 'The Secret Architecture of Our Nation's Capital' by David Ovason is an interesting but a little laborious study of freemasonry's influence in Washington's iconic buildings. It's not for me actually but for my friend, Longhair, who is an enthusiast in masonagraphy (is there such a word?). Rarely for me, I am also starting to read an uberdark book entitled 'Columbine' by Dave Cullen, about the two high school seniors who decided one day in April 1999 to massacre their friends and teachers in Columbine High School, Colorado. Into the 3rd chapter, I must say that it is very well written, giving me a bird's eye view into the psyche of these 2 demented killers. 

After watching an excellent documentary on the Oracle of Omaha, I was curious enough to pick up this book by Alice Schroeder called 'The Snowball - Warren Buffet & the Business of Life', then one book about the Beatles and a pictorial biography on Pink Floyd. Oh yes, I also picked up 4 home design books for ideas. The houses are so beautiful.

If you wanna build houses, you gonna need some help...

In the early days of Pink Floyd the audiences were expected to sit or stand still
and listen attentively to the music. For Pink Floyd is not just about rock music.
Pink Floyd was a rock renaissance.

Nothing poetic this time, sunshine. Just books. Wonderful life-enriching books. May you have a good read this Sabbath.

wa min Allah at-taufiq

A Little Envy and a Little Walk

When I am envious, I turn orange, not green.

26. Unwed and envy

I am unwed, you know,

Though once I was.

And I am pleased

And happy with

Where I am

Now.

But I am human too,

And when I visit

The homes of

My friends,

I will not hide that

Envy fills

My body,

And wonder

If there

Shall ever be

Another

Home for me.

A LITTLE ENVY. I wrote this some 3 or 4 years ago, soon after my divorce. I would be chilling at my friend Moses's house, with his children running around us, and suddenly my very soul would sigh... *SIGH*. Alas, I am human and envy (a bit). Kinda miss being married. But I am glad to share with you now that life, like always, is again looking up for the sinner. No, he doesn't have a home yet, but he is actively pursuing a solution to that with the cooperation of Heche. And nowadays he is happier still because Mikhail is with him 5 days of the week (Mika's primary school is like 3 minutes drive away).

A LITTLE WALK. I have been walking a bit nowadays. And very early this morning (6am) Mika offered to accompany me in my walk. It was an cardio-vascular exercise for my heart and an audio-vascular exercise for my ears... "Papa, I thought we would be walking around the house, not around the block! Papa, look! I am walking faster than you... Papa, why is this house so big? Papa, why are the windows all dark? Are they hiding something? It's like a haunted house, Papa... Papa, I think they need a big house because they have dogs... why are the dogs are so loud? Woof! Woof! Woof!... Papa, would you like to sleep in a house with a dog barking like that? Papa? PAPA?.....

Have a lovely day, sunshine.

wa min Allah at-taufiq

The House is an Abode of Memories - My Mother and Father

My Dad circa end 1960s. 

MOVING HOUSE? We might be moving house. It has been in the offing for some time now. I was talking to my dad about it and he asked what should be done with all the furniture and knick knacks that he has (via my late mum) accumulated over almost 4 decades of marriage.

One of the items which I thought we would dispose of is our old keyboard organ. “Its pretty old, you know, so I think we should get rid of it.” I said. My father however said, “No, no… I want to keep the organ.”

“You want to keep the organ?” I sought clarification because I thought he never really cared much for it.

“Yes.” He answered. “Mama (as in my late mum) gave it to me as a birthday present.”

MY DAD THE PIANO MAN. I recall the first time the musical contraption arrived at our old house some 15 years ago. For about six months my father diligently tried to learn to play the keyboard, taught by a Chinese girl who would come to the house in the evening.

GRANDFATHER CLOCK. The only other impressive birthday present my father bought himself was a grandfather clock. I remember him showing off the towering clock with some pride to the bemusement of our visitors. This was some 3 decades ago. In those days, my house was rarely empty of visitors.

My Mum circa 1959.

FROM FAT SALOON TO ULTRA COMPACT. For the last 2 decades in government and another decade plus in the banking sector, my father was driving or being driven in a Mercedes Benz. A year or 2 after my mother passed away however, he sold off the huge saloon and bought a nippy little compact car called the Kelisa. It would be hard to find a smaller and cheaper car in the market.

My dad was never much for ostentation and luxury. And I think he kept the Mercedes all that while because my late mother would have never allowed him to change the car.

We have been living in this house for the past 10 years. In that course of time, people have been born here, people have died here, people have been married and divorced too. So the walls of the house is full of my family’s sweet and sorrowful memories.

I write so nonchalantly about moving house. But deep down, I know that if we do move, it is gonna be an emotional wrench for everyone concerned…

134. The House

Ah! Seeker!

If you desire only to see where I live, enter!

You are most welcomed to admire

The ornate carvings, the high arches,

The beautiful murals and prayer niches.

But if you wish for more,

If you wish to build your own house,

Ha! Your sight must become keener,

And you must dig deeper,

To see the foundations hidden under;

Blessed of all are those

Amongst Allah’s servants

Who can say,

“What my tongue extols, my heart feels and my hands do.”

God bless you, sunshine. May God protect your home always, and if you are traveling, may He keep you safe in your journey.

Pax Taufiqa.