I do not understand... but I understand love

I Do Not Understand, But I Understand Love

I do not understand the world sometimes,

Because the language most natural to me is love,

I do not understand the news sometimes,

Because the only news I know is love,

I do not understand people's anger and hate sometimes,

Because the only emotion I understand is love,

And by God, because of this

I sometimes do not even understand myself

And the angry and despairing creature

Standing in the mirror in front of me.

.....................................

I am leaving for Singapore again today. But I would have no problem speaking there because almost all Singaporeans can speak English. And of course there are also Malays there who can speak Malay, although some of them tend to speak in a lingo or dialect a little strange to us Malaysian Malays. A little bit 1970s era kinda lingo. He he he.

But Chinese or Malay or English, everyone can speak the Language of Love. It is manifest in our attitude and character, our patience and fortitude, our mercy and compassion. As a sinner, I fear that despite my 42 years of life, I am still in the Kindergarten of Love, and it is unsafe to leave me to my own ego and its cunning devices - often I caught myself speaking and thinking in another language. The language of the ego. I pray always to God to guide me, and to take me closer to His anointed Master of the Language of Love, our  own benevolent and loving Muhammad (s.a.w.s.).

Geo-politics and the geo-politicians of this world like to paint the world of despair and confusion. But that is simply because they are painting their global perception with the ego. I often do this and hope to lessen my addiction to this most foul of habits.

So pray for me always, sunshine. And I shall pray for you.

Let us endeavour to always converse in the Language of Love.

wa min Allah at-taufiq

Hate has no place in Islam

Love will show the Way

Anger Issues and a Cancerian - a grey pall cast over the Shore of Love, a temporary glitch in the Matrix of Mercy

Anger

Anger is a fire

Burning beneath you skin

Sapping your soul of the goodness

That you hold within.

A cancer destroying your spirit,

The source of many foul deeds

And many, many thoughts all-wicked!

........................

I am a sinner. I think I have made this pretty clear. But even as a sinner I tremble with (extra) foreboding at holding any hatred in me for anyone or anything. It makes me disconsolate and discontented, you see.

This, I am not. I am fat but I hope my fattiness is transitory and will go away
if only  I pray really, really hard. I savoured this dream for a long time until an ancient
friend suggested I pray while jogging 2 kilometres a day. He said God is sure to
answer my prayers then. I don't like my friend very much.

I would like to say that I am hate-free, no-Trans-Fat, sugar-free kinda fellow. But I am on the err... plump side of the weighing scale, I have diabetes and I can entertain hateful sentiments like the best of the haters.

But if hatred does pop up like a hateful boil on the landscape of my soul, I try to take immediate corrective measures. I consider the other person's point of view and his/her antecedents. I also weigh my own faults and see how I came to this hate-filled conclusion. Often enough I am able to attain some sense of perspective and the hatefulness drifts away like a grey pall cast over the Shore of Love - a mere temporary glitch in the Matrix of Mercy. And of course, as a One-Size-Fit-All-Problems-Solution I ask God and the Prophet(pbuh) to help me rid of the hate within me.

I hope to one day graduate from being this sort of Cancerian... 

.... to this kinda Cancerian!

This struggle with hate is a constant daily toil for me, being such an 'overly-sensitive' and emotional Cancerian (Yup, I am). I hope you will pray for this crabby crustacean, sunshine... that I might be permitted to accompany you to the Good Place where the Good Ones dwell in an eternal bliss.

.
Hehehe. A crab can always dream, don't you agree, sunshine?

wa min Allah at-taufiq

Hate has no place in Islam

Love will show the Way

Everything is relative, so don't worry!

1. All are relative

Sadness and joy,

Determination and timidity,

Wisdom and folly,

Success and regret,

Love and hate,

Fear and courage,

Are all relative concepts.

So float,

My happy blossom,

Between the Sun of Ahad,

The Moon of Ahmad,

And the Stars of the Sahabat*.

(*Sahabat - Companions)

...............

Had an interesting work day with an astoundingly rude clientele. I didn't feel like writing at all. Then I bumped across this old prose, and I figure, what the heck... We gotta float, don't we? ...Just like a butterly, and doth do we stingeth away like the proverbial bee.

Hehehe.

Forget it, sunshine, tuck your stinger back in... Whatever irritation that bothered you today, it is simply not worth it. You who are kept in good company of good people, under God and His Beloved Prophet. What have you to worry? Keep steady and seek your support from God and the Prophet, from the Saints and the Angels who shall never (ever) let you down...

Ahh. I feel better already.

Thank you, sunshine, for keeping me company.

wa min Allah at-taufiq

Hate has no place in Islam

Love will show the Way

The Lake of Despair - Come on... let's get out of here...

The Lake of Despair

There is a lake in the valley of your consciousness,

A black abyss of the blackest water rising from

Some dark lightless layer of water table many fathoms

Deep beneath the surface of the valley.

On some days, and perhaps many times in a day

Your spirit finds itself drawn there,

Denizens of the valley has a name for it,

Calling it the Lake of Despair,

And they often call on you,

"Do not go there! Do not drink there!

Do not swim there!"

But you do.

The depth of the water is unknown,

Being as deep as the deepest abyss of human hate,

The water is as black as the blackest ink of human pride,

The bitter taste of the water is as bitter

As the most bitter grape of the human ego,

And the lake itself is so wide that if you stand on one shore,

You shan't be able to see the shore on the other side,

For it is as wide as the widest state of human envy.

No one should come here...

But I find myself here,

And here was where I found you too...

..............

We get angry. We get mad. We get upset. All sorts of things (and people) can rub us the wrong way and frankly spoil our day. It can be a co-worker, a neighbour, brother, sister, our spouse and (may God forgive us) our own fathers and mothers.

Sorrow and anger is not the same thing, but it originates from the very same dark place in our consciousness (and subconsciousness), and both inevitably throws us into despair, the Lake of Despair, as where we found each other.

Come on, sunshine. You don't belong here. We don't belong here. Let's go back and shut our inner ears to the poisonous whispers of our ego, which wants to win all the time. This will lead us to anger, sorrow, disappointments and ultimately despair. Come on... let's get out of here. God and the Prophet(pbuh) is waiting. And Victory is Forever in the Divine Presence.

...sometimes, when I find beautiful spots here on earth, I wonder to myself...
Just how mind-blowingly amazing would the Divine Presence be? If it was not for God and the Prophet,
I cannot imagine anything or anyone else trouncing the beauty and mercy that God Himself
has already sprinkled here and there on this planet Earth. It is as if He is saying -
" If you think this is wonderful...Wait till you get here with Me and My beloved..."

wa min Allah at-taufiq

Hate has no place in Islam

Love will show the Way

3 Short Stories – The 3F Approach, The good thing about being wrong and my strange brother’s gifts

The 3F Approach

The fuel in my car is running low. Must get to a pump station soon. During my student days, my modus operandi when it comes to fuel usage is called The 3F Approach. The first “F” stands for fuel. Once that runs out, we rely on the second “F” which is the fumes. And when both fuel and fumes have been thoroughly exhausted we simply rely on the third and final “F” beyond which there is no other recourse – Faith. So the 3F stands for Fuel – Fumes – Faith in that order.

I think my car stopped running only once in my life due to an utter absence of carbon fuel. I remember bitterly commenting, “This is probably because someone in this car is lacking in faith.” A friend in the back seat replied, “I don’t know about that, but it is obvious to me that your car is lacking in fuel, you Scrooge! Do you really have to wait until the very last drop of oil before you refuel?”

The Good Thing About Being Wrong

Yup, I like being wrong. Especially when it comes to feeling angry or bitter. I have a short fuse and I sometimes explode. But I don’t explode in front of the person who allegedly hurt me, but mumble curses and expletives under my breath, just loud enough for Heche to hear. Poor girl. But sometimes (many times, actually), I find out very soon after that I misjudged the person whom only moments ago I was fuming mad with. I do feel a little sheepish and embarrassed by my sotto voce outburst. But in such cases, I prefer to be in the wrong than right. I prefer to find myself the villain, than to be under the impression that someone else was wrong and somehow hurt and treated me unfairly.

Of course it would be even better if I did not lose my temper to begin with. Hehehe. 

My Strange Brother’s Gifts

Well, my brother is back from Jordan with many interesting stories and insights into the Jordanians, the Horseback Archery competition (hands down the Hungarians were the best), and of course King Abdullah II of Jordan, The Caliph of Islam. But that is for another time, now I just wanna talk about the stuffs that my brother brought back from his trip.

First, Abang Cik (for that is what I call him, his name is Saiful) said he bought me an old hard cover book (printed in the 70s) about the infamous Beria – the sinister, mad, murderous, political apparatchik of Stalin. When he told me that, an unuttered thought crossed my mind, “You went all the way to Jordan, The legendary land of the Prophets, Saints and Companions and you bought a book about a malevolent psychopath of the Stalinist regime?”

Don’t get me wrong. I was looking forward to reading the book. But later that night there was a furtive knock on the door, and my brother came in and in his hand was a brass pocket watch. He said, “This is for you. Thank you for everything.” Whereupon he suddenly hugged and kissed me.

What a strange fellow my brother is. But I am the one who should be thankful. Because I know that he bought the pocket watch for himself, but decided to give it to me.

Have a lovely day, sunshine. A lovely, brotherly day.

wa min Allah at-taufiq

Hate has no place in Islam

Love will show the Way

Let Love Finish Your Sentence, the Prophet said

1. To change the way you feel

The Prophet said,

I am here to change

The way you feel.

To end your penance.

And to teach you to

Let Love finish your sentence.

To give your life meaning,

To answer your yearning.

We are not perfect. We are creatures subservient to our oppressive ego, our emotions changing with the ebb and tide of our passions. One day we can be very good, on another day not so good. One moment we are like Mother Theresa, on another day we are like the Scrooge.

Sometimes, especially in the heat of the moment, in the tremors of our anger or indignation we start off by saying the wrong things. But I hope, however far we may err, we can still let Love finish our sentence. If we start this morning miserable and bitter, I hope when we rest our head on the pillow tonight, we can do so with contentment and peace. So long as you are still breathing there is still time to let Love finish our sentence, and end our day well.

If you see me drifting into a storm, reel me back to calmer waters.

People often say that imagination is the map to invention, art and beauty. It is true. But it should be anchored to love. For imagination is a powerful force, and one that can have a good or bad ending. I cannot say that I am anchored to love, being the miserable sinner. But I am anchored to you, sunshine. So if you see me drifting into a storm, reel me back to calmer waters. If you see me despairing, gather me in your arms. If you see me angry and hateful, tell me that I am not worthy of such tempers. I think God made many of us humans so that we might look out for each other, yes?

Have a good Thursday, pet.

wa min Allah at-taufiq

Hate has no place in Islam

Love will show the Way

Become a Bridge. Don't Burn the Bridge.

104. What’s Your Name Again?

My name is unimportant

My life is insignificant

Words are all that is left of me.

And even they are on loan,

A bridge to the Great Unknown

To a Liege Who desires to be known.

TWITTERWARS. First there were flaming emails, as human conflict ascends into the internet. Then it became twitter wars, as people fight each other in full view of the world.

MORONS. I can understand that in the spur of anger and frustration, we lose it and we say things we would regret. What is more culpable however is when people actually take the time and trouble to write something nasty in an email, on Facebook or on Twitter. I can easily forgive the sudden impulse of verbal discontent that we sometimes let fly. “Moron!” is my favourite adjectives for inconsiderate drivers. My sainted late mother would let burst an even more earthier condemnation of drivers whom she believed had been severely uncivil… “Makan taik punya orang!” Literally meaning, “Those damn shit-eating people!”.

So we lose our temper, because that is the price of living in a society of imperfect mankind. It just happens. In fact, I would probably lose temper even when alone on a deserted island. No doubt, I would catch my reflection in a secluded pond, before muttering, “You damn fool. Look what happens when you go cheap on the ferry ride…”

WRITING. But writing is different. Writing requires introspection. It demands contemplation of the words and the meaning we intend for the reader. Surely, if you had to sit back to write something, and if you reflect into your inner space, your conscience and your heart, SURELY there must be something good to write, instead of the damning judgment of some other person. Surely, at the end of it all, whatever we write, especially nasty thoughts, will have no good result. Not for you nor for the intended reader…

I write because I like to write about God. And about the beautiful persons that He acquaints Himself with. So I write about the Prophets, the Companions and the Saints. But I also like to write about ordinary people. Because for whatever reason which I cannot imagine, God acquaints with us too. Indeed He seems Most Preoccupied with us.

So write about the good and God, sunshine. Become a bridge. Don't burn the bridge.

Pax Taufiqa

Hate has no place in Islam

Love will show the Way

Do Not Get Angry With Anger

Do Not Get Angry with Anger

Anger is the destroyer of calm

The poisoner of peace

And it matters not that your temper

Is aimed at anything else...

For whomever is near

He would be asking himself,

“Does it not matter at all

That I am here?”

And observing sadly,

“Ah, he is so beautiful when happy

And so ugly when in foul temper”

You are lucky, sunshine, not to have to deal with me 24/7. In that context I sympathize with God Almighty for having to deal with my almighty temper. For I have a temper. And it is ugly. It is only right that we should disapprove of our own anger, but...

If in your life you wish to be the doctor and not the patient, the healer and not the sick, then however wrong anger is, you must not despise it. For the truth is, so long as you are in society, so long as you are in your body, anger and ill-temper will strike you, whether alone or in company. And it is then that you need to have empathy. But it is difficult to feel empathy when your emotion are mixed between charity and loathing. Even if that loathing is for human anger.

I say this because I have always despised anger. And I fear that I am becoming what I despise. So I shall not despise anger anymore. I shall try to accept and submit. For God has accepted me this way for all this while.

Have an all-love day, sunshine.

wa min Allah at-taufiq

Hate has no place in Islam

Love will show the Way

Bitterness - a short guide

grumble... grumble... grumble

Anger

Sufis (and everyone else really) know that getting angry is bad, but bitterness, that undercurrent of dissatisfaction rippling beneath the surface is also bad, very bad indeed. When you get angry, people know about it. So it is out in the open and can be resolved, one way or the other.

Bitterness

But bitterness, especially for people who are natural actors and talented in hiding their emotions, is a hot burning lava which will consume them from the inside. I do not know what is the quick fix to bitterness. Yes, of course we need to contemplate and reflect on the positives of this life, in our selves and in people around us. And we can also pray very, very hard that God might guide us away from the dark karma consuming us. Sometimes, this will take a while.

You are better than this!

So in the meantime what do we do? Well, in this situation I am guided by an old buddy of mine. He said that, "Taufiq ol' chum, when I am stricken by bitterness, I absolutely distrust my own judgment. I listen to what my bitter reflection has to say (after all, you cannot ignore it since it is inside of you), and I tell myself that I am reflecting in an appalling mood so whatever conclusion I may have is misleading and very wrong. So what my bitterness tells me to do, I shall do the exact opposite. It is not easy ignoring your own sentiments, but at this point in time such sentiments are not worthy of you. You are better that this! Some people call this a form of selflessness. It is a good trait to have."

A friend or two

"And of course.." he concluded, "It is good to have a friend or two to confide in. But no more than that. For not many people are capable of handling your emotions well. And you certainly don't want to confide in a potential shit-stirrer, no matter their best of intentions."

So my friend, if you are feeling bitter about something, do not give up on your good self and give in to these hateful emotions. Have patience, keep your silence and keep company with one or two good friends. You will get through it just fine.

Have a non-bitter day, sunshine.

wa min Allah at-taufiq

Hate has no place in Islam

Love will show the Way

The Perfect Action of Perfect Knowledge - man and his ill temper

A picture reveals many things and hints to many more,
But what is hidden is infinite.

I often find myself in anger, or at least irritated. There is little to doubt that this will occur when I am continuously caught in the stream of human interaction. Unless I steal myself away from society and plonk myself in the middle of the jungle, the contratemps of human commune will persist however careful I may be not to step on anyone's toes. Sometimes we just don't see those toes, right?

Perfect action only comes from perfect knowledge, but perfect knowledge is the sole attribute of God Himself. We unwashed masses only have a little experience, a little forethought, a little knowledge based mostly on probabilities and predictions to guide our action. From this untidy collection of  incomplete information, we try to take the best action. And that is why we often make mistakes, which is a very human trait.

"Had I but known! Had I but known!" is the refrain of regret that we sing after our initial burst of temper. For me personally, I am tired of singing this tune. I know I still will, being the lazy, inconsiderate brute of a man that I can be, but I hope to reduce the occurrence...

Be patient

God has taught thee to have patience,

For however complete a picture thou thinks thou has,

There is still a lot more merely hinted in the picture,

And by God, a sea of infinite things are totally hidden,

Unless by His Good Grace, God discloses such secrets unto thee.

So in all thy action, o' foolish man

Be patient.

And in bad temper, 

Never!

Thank you for dropping by, sunshine. May we always guide each other with understanding and good advice.

wa min Allah at-taufiq

Hate has no place in Islam

Love will show the Way

The Path is Unending, but this is a Good Month to Walk! - Prose of Ramadhan Part 31

I Won't Pause to Say Goodbye! (Ramadhan Verses #17)
O’ fear, you have long haunted me,
O’ failure, you have long dogged my steps,
O’ hate, you have long coloured by view,
O’ misery, you follow upon your brethren’s way
And often darken my day.

O’ envy, you tried to make me
An enemy of my brother,
O’ lust, you tried to make me
An exploiter of my sister,
O’ ego, you befriended all these bad things
And tried to convince me that
They are all my good friends.

O’ hubris, you have abused
My spiritual inheritance for
Your own corrupt ends!

Well, today I am going.
And I shan’t pause to say goodbye.
My Lord misses me and wants me home,
And there I shall be an apple
In my Beloved’s eye.

Two Sundays ago, on the eve of Ramadhan, this prose was kindly posted up at the Camel Saloon by its worthy barkeep, Russell. Whether it is Ramadhan or any other month, each moment in our life is a migration from bad to good, and good to better, and better to even better. It is especially so I guess for those who fast and keep to their good manners in this particularly holy month. 

The highest (and most difficult) fast is the fasting to refrain from acting upon our bad traits, most often motivated by our despicable ego. Physical fasting helps because it weakens our ego, enabling our better selves to come to the fore front. It is not the final act, nor is it a final step in the path towards servanthood. But it is an important step. So my clown is making her way out of one door, only to be confronted with the negative emotions and purposes at another level. So long as she is alive, her foes shall continue to bark and bite at her heels. But by God, in this perfectly beautiful Ramadhan, she will know with certainty that God and the Prophet is on her side, with the host of prophets, saints and angels rooting for her to succeed and overcome her lower instincts - a step closer to truly becoming an apple in the eye of the Beloved. I just thought that you should be aware of this too. That is why I wrote this posting.

So cheer up, sunshine, and never despair.

wa min Allah at-taufiq.

HUNTING PIRATES! - The Journey of The Immortal - Captain's Log 1

Captain's Log of The Immortal

We are on a pirate hunting expedition. These pirates have been interfering with the shipping and pilgrimage routes on the Sea of Mercy. They have been blockading the Harbour of Truth, laying siege with their damnable guns on the Port of Love & Beauty. They have been trying to cut the centuries old ties between the Prophet and His Nation. They are saying that Muhammad is dead, what can he do to help his followers now? 

Earlier today we intercepted a brigand crew aboard an ugly-looking frigate called 'The Modern and Reform'. When we questioned a prisoner as to what are they doing here in the Sea of Mercy (who turned out to be the ship's preacher), he answered, "What Sea of Mercy? This is the Sea of Vengeance and Wrath!" There is no good talking to these people.

Further investigation into their cargo hold revealed a mountain of books which they are using to propagate their beliefs. It appears that they have been intercepting the Saints' ships and dumping the traditional books into the water and replacing them with their own version of history.  One crew member, Omar, looked dismayed. Later that day I asked him. "What bothered you, seaman?" To which he replied, "Captain, if they have been doing these to all of the Masters' vessels, how do we know if the students are being taught properly with the right books?"

This was what I said, "Omar. Do not fret. Do you think these bandits have caught all the good fleet? Anyway, look at the ocean around us. Look above and see the seagulls that follow our wake. Listen to the crashing surf. Do you not hear the Truth of the Universe speaking to you in infinite forms and languages? They cannot stop the tide of the Long Victory, my brother." 

Omar smiled, and I placed my hand on his heart. "Those that will be guided, will be guided. And those that will be misguided, will be misguided. It is fated. For you and I, Omar, it is simply for us to try and play our insignificant role in the unfurling of the history of creation with good humour, following our good conscience, and as a servant and lover of all humanity. The Prophet would have wanted it that way, yes?"

to be continued

The story above has absolutely nothing to do about Muslims vis-a-vis non-Muslims. It is a seafaring analogy about the continuing tension within the community itself, between Muslims such as my friends, and Muslims who are less like my friends. It is not for us to judge what they are (and indeed, who we are!), but in the constant challenge to Love, Truth, Beauty and Compassion, these pirates are a fitting opposites to the loving ministrations of the Saints that to this very day, still walk upon the earth. And the Saints do not dread the challenge, because that is why they were created to begin with.

Pax Taufiqa.

Footnote - The Journey of The Immortal was hatched in the concluding sentence of an earlier posting entitled 'The Ship is called The Immortal...' (Click Here). It is often the case that when we are talking about the wonder of creation and the Greatest Wonder of all which is our Loving Creator, one story leads to another. Then another to another. And another... There is no end in sight that I can see. How lucky are we?

Money, Good Friends, Closet Sufis and the Angelic Audience

Look at him! His impudence is really too much. Writing as if he can see us!

260. Selling my words

For two days already,

I have been selling my words,

For glasses of tea and packets of cigarettes.

I feel a little guilty,

But not enough

To feel shame.

What a brigand and a bum am I!

And how glad am I to be one!

For what we steal and speak of

Cause Angels themselves to pause and sit in!

Now if only I can find a way to charge

These Angelic audiences…

A FRIEND IN NEED. ME. I was a little broke for a couple of days. But I still like having my chai at the neighbourhood Indian Muslim restaurant. So being the pragmatic and unprincipled rogue that I am, I simply went through my little black book and called up old friends that I have not seen in a while. Often they would not only pay for my cups of tea, they would also cover my meal, and sometimes even my fags (cigarettes). I am incorrigible, I know.

THE CRAZY ONES. My favourite collection of friends are the crazy ones. Well, not actually insane, but the sort that I could be truly honest with, especially in the topic of religion, spirituality, love, God, Prophets and saints. They tend to be humble, but most of all never boring and always funny, often making themselves the brunt of their own jokes. Some people call them Sufis. They deny it of course, but I can see through their pretensions of not being Sufis. They are rarely judgmental. Sometimes I can have a huge chip on my shoulder, a fuming volcano of dissatisfaction about something or someone. I would talk to them and with empathy, they would pop my balloon of anger / envy / jealousy. These are the sort of friends that EVERYONE should have. They won't allow you to wallow in your pit of negativity. And they certainly are not those who would make things worse by goading your ego. With a smile and a gentle hand on  your shoulder they would make you see that the world is in truth beautiful, all things are happening as they are fated to, and God is always smiling upon us. With my hand on my heart, I wish upon you such good friends. Amen.

THEM ANGELS. I have no doubt that the Angels are listening in. But sadly I am unable to cadge anything from them. After all, they don't drink, eat or sleep. And I don't think they smoke. There is absolutely no point to ask them for anything. But maybe they can put in a good word for me with  THE FRIEND OF FRIENDS... aka God.

Have a friendful day, sunshine! 

Pax Taufiqa.

The Lord of Discord and the Meaning of War - Sinners' Dictionary

14. Lord of Discord
We resist the lord of discord,
Who rules over those
Who let their anger hold sway.

In their mad utterance,
He shapes their clay.
And in their violence
Is his to play.

To no fleeting shadow,
Will we bow,

To no whispers spun in the dark,
Do we bend.

For we serve the Lord of Accord,
And under His flag
We fear no discord.

I woke up this morning early, before the first ray of the sun spreads its glorious light upon this earth. And I expected something in the breeze to tell me a story. Something to say for this overcast Sunday. But nothing came to me. No verse, no prose no story. So I returned to my old poetry collection and found this old prose written perhaps two years ago.

The Lord of Discord has no name, unless it is our name. He has no form unless it is our form. He can do nothing to this world, and even the smallest ant is safe from him. Alas, through history we become his abject slave... setting swords, arrows and bullets upon our brothers and sisters. And all over words. Because in the Sinners' Dictionary war is defined thus...

War is...
A Series of Battles
Over the Meaning
Of Words.

When we stop talking and perhaps more importantly, when we stop listening, we become a ghost of our true selves. Another pawn in the momentum of a false history. Because the truth is, Love has always been king. From the looking glass of Glorious Love, there was never a Crusade, the Cold War never happened, and this thing which the media and leaders like to refer to as the jihad, the great clash between civilisations and faiths is a great big lie. Civilisations and Faiths must essentially be the same one thing - if we obey the Lord of Accord, whose counsel to be patient and understanding rises again and again in our Conscience...

The world has two histories you can choose from to inspire your life. The history of hate and the history of love. The power, and the responsibility to choose wisely is yours.

We must listen, sunshine. So we can be the true repository of Truth and Love in a world blinded by the illusory power of hate. Hate, like evil - exists in the absence of Love. And I know you are not like that at all...

Hehehe. Well it appears the breeze has spoken. The Sun is shining now and the wind has blown the overcast clouds away... I have my story.

I love you, sunshine. Have a perfect Sunday contemplating this joyous world...

Pax Taufiqa.

At the Conference of the Earnest I Found the Religion of Hubris

.

CONFERENCE OF THE EARNEST. I spied upon a congregation of earnest people. Some of them looked slick and oily, others bright and sparkly like models in a skin whitening advertisement. Some were bearded and wore turbans, others wore the Jewish skullcap. Some looked like Christian bishops, and amongst the crowd I saw Mullahs with AK-47 strapped on their backs. There were also mystics, political lobbyists and cult leaders. They were all holding onto their respective holy books for dear life. A lot of them were shouting, and in the back, I could see a crowd of young ones, clamouring “Jihad! Crusade! Jihad! Crusade! The Dajjal! Red Heifer! Democracy! Capitalism! Jerusalem! Unity! Purity! Lies! Death! Eternal Life! Gog and Magog!” In a corner all to their own were priests of ideologies and dogmas in fevered debates - the Darwinists, Capitalists, Communists, Socialists, and all the other ‘-ists’ that your mind can google.

.

NEMESIS OF MANKIND. On the pulpit was a man with white hair and he was raising the crowd’s spirit commanding, “We must fight for our religion! We must die for God! For Freedom! For Equal Rights! We must defend ……… (Well, just fill the blank space with whatever religion / ideology you want – it doesn’t matter really). Scurrying between the heaving mass of capitalist crusaders, armed bigots, and fuzzy muhajideens were a couple of nemesis of mankind – I recognize them, they were Uncertainty, Envy and Anger, unmasked and looking like pubescent trolls. They looked happy.

I CATCH ENVY. Behind the curtains I ducked, waiting for my chance. Then one of the little troll ran pass by and I managed to catch it by its collar. It was Envy. It looked hideous. It had hair but the colour is never the same, it had a face, but it changed every second, its shape shifting according to men’s insatiable and ever-changing desire and greed.

THE REAL RELIGION. I asked it, “What is this place?! Who are all these people? Envy smirked and said, “Look around, Taufiq. They are people who are adepts in the forms of their religion or beliefs – See, that is a big time Rabbi, and there you see an Evangelical TV star, and look, hey, that’s a world famous Jihadi! And I think we even have a Monetarist here somewhere…”

This evil imp wasn’t answering my question right. “Yes, yes, but what are they all doing here?”

Envy hissed, barring sharp carnivorous fangs, “They worship in their religion here.”

“What religion? All religions and ideologies are represented here!”, I argued.

“Bah! That is only the religion of their outer form, pet. The creed that they are truly following is the Religion of Hubris.”

Then smiling, Envy asked me, “Are you an intruder here, Taufiq, or are you here by SPECIAL invitation?”

Ouch. I immediately dropped Envy and ran for dear life.

.......................

How many times have we become the unwitting acolytes in the Religion of Hubris? May we all be guided by our conscience and our heart, elevated and unsullied by hubris. It is not an easy task, but in you I hope to find my guide and support - My brothers and sisters in the Religion of the Conscience, the Religion of Love. The most delicate and beautiful manifestation of our respective faiths, whatever it may be.

Have a good hubris-free day, Sunshine!

Pax Taufiqa.

Instrument of the Devil, Impatience, Saintly Clerks and Me

AT THE DENTIST. I am not a patient man, but there is however one situation where I am not just patient, literally I am PATIENCE itself. As a paragon of consideration and compromise, I turn into a statue of perseverance at my dentist. Every atom of my being suddenly patient, transforming me into an inert life form – a barely sentient glob of flesh and blood in the dental dungeon. I am NEVER IN A HURRY when I am at the dental clinic. In fact I am never in a hurry to get to a dental clinic. You know… all those contretemps and happenstances that causes you to delay or postpone your dental appointment. Suddenly, you have to paint your room, suddenly, you have to reorganize your shoe rack. You know, riiiight? And in such cases, I never bitch or complain about having to postpone seeing my dentist – “Not available this week? Gee whiz! Never mind, maybe in 3 month’s time? No? Dr. Rachel can see me sooner? But WHY? Really I don’t mind at all, I know she has a busy practice… Perhaps sometime next year? Hello? Hello?”

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RED MIST. Despite my numerous postings about patience, I am probably the most impatient man in Malaysia. I can become an ogre when the red mist of rage washes over my eyes - Especially when I am alone and there is no company to calm me down.

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INSTRUMENT OF THE DEVIL. I remember when I first started practicing as a lawyer in 2000. In those days, me and my partner did mostly conveyancing work (real estate sale and transfer), which inevitably requires dealings with the Land Office. And in those days we were still typing on Land Office forms, as not many departments have digitized their documents. I remember coming to the office one Saturday, with 24 (yes, Twenty Four!) blank Memorandum of Transfer Form to be typed out for a conveyancing file. Of course, I just need one form to be typed, but knowing my very limited typing skill, I thought 2 dozen is a good back-up in case I mess-up typing a form. For you see, in those days you are not permitted to use correction ink. And no rubbing with the eraser too. Surely, I was being over-cautious, I thought.

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Well, as it turned out, I managed (barely) to type the 24th form correctly, after 2 hours of bedlam and 23 copies of typing failures. If you walked into the office at that time, you would see a sea of torn crumpled papers strewn around the feet of a mad lawyer, his hair disheveled, his eyes probably cross-eyed and crazy-looking. To be honest, if it weren’t for the busy road under my office (which was on the 3rd floor), I would have thrown the typewriter out of the window.

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I don't go crazy with typewriters anymore. Now I leave it to the infinite patience of my clerks. The girls are amazing, and I am ever in awe of their patience - So young, yet so wise. What I write about, they live...

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7. Patience, that Beautiful Steed!
Patience! O’ Lord,
Of such things that will help me,
Help me attain this!
Patience in happiness and sorrow,
Patience in wealth and poverty,

Patience,
Graceful and most loved,
That beautiful steed ridden
By Your Prophet and Friends!

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Have a nice day, sunshine! May you find patience however you may be tested.

.

Pax Taufiqa.

Jihad, War, Caliph Ali and the sword Zulfiqar, Futuwat Code of Chivalry and Armchair Generals

The Caliph Ali is a cousin and son-in-law of the Prophet. He is a man of beautiful passions and a warrior of great valour. His sword, Zulfiqar is almost equally as famous. Some say that the code of chivalry known as futuwat (or futuwwa) is inspired by or originates from Ali.

159. Zulfikar I
Victory without chivalry is not victory.
Defeat with chivalry is not defeat.

As often is the case, Ali was chosen to be the champion of the army for a one-on-one duel with the opposing side's best warrior. In the melee, his opponent was thrown to the ground and disarmed. Ali raised his sword, the famed Zulfiqar, to smite his foe, when suddenly the man spit on Ali’s face. A dark shadow drifted over his countenance and Ali was temporarily stunned. Then he lowered Zulfiqar and said to his enemy, “Get up, pick up your sword, and let’s resume our duel!”

The man was stupified, he stood up and asked, “Hey, why did you not kill me when you had the chance?"

Ali replied, “When you spit on my face, I felt my anger rise up like the flaming ash of a volcano. And had I struck you then, I would have been motivated by my anger, and not by my love for God and His Prophet. I would have done a great wrong.”

160. Zulfikar II
Oh, noble Zulfikar who was never wielded in anger!
Who shall wield you now that for every man who fights for his Lord,
100,000 men fight for their egos?

Faith is a plant that flourishes in the soil of love, the sunlight of truth and the rain of mercy. Ego will empty any soil of love, it will be block out the sun, and cause a thousand years of draught. Ride and control your ego before it annihilates you and all that you hold dear.

161. Zulfikar III
As your ego grows,
Incrementally does the price of your admission
Into His Presence.

The condition of war is a special condition. It is not the natural condition of Islam. Those who talk of a thousand years of Jihad are madmen, fixated with swords and guns. But the truth is, if Zulfiqar had a voice, it will say, “I want nothing to do with such men. And if I must concern myself with them, verily, let someone wield me against them!”

Really, people should stop bandying the clash of civilization (Islam East vs Christian-Judeo West) fad and quit the warmongering bandwagon. The much anticipated clash has nothing to do with civility nor civilization. It is a clash of egos, a blood feud perpetuated by the dim-witted ‘faithfuls’. A game for bigots, armchair generals and psychopaths.

4. War
War should not be a game.
Nor for glory or fame.
It is mercy, tempered with courage,
It is acting with love
Though besieged by hate.

And if they ask, who says this,
Tell them, it is I,
Zulfiqar!

So next time anyone mentions jihad or crusade to you, tell them what Zulfiqar has shared with you here today. I will love you for that…

Well, that’s it. Have a great day, sunshine.

Pax Taufiqa

Footnotes – The 3 ‘Zulfikar’ poems are from the 1st Chapter entitled ‘The Dam.SunSun.Ana’, circa June 2004. The poem ‘War’ is from 28th Chapter entitled ‘A Celestial History, circa February 2008.

Preachers and the Test of Patience (It is so freakin' hard! But in a Good Way)

Lighthouse
Preachers!
The silent compelling sermon of patience
Is the towering lighthouse of Truth,
Mightier than all the devices of preachers
Who lay siege upon the deaf.
For in truth, they are deaf not to Truth.
They are simply deaf to you.

Illahi Anta maqsudi wa ridaKa matlubi.

Adults often ask ourselves, “Why don’t the kids listen to us?” Preachers wonder why anybody can reject their guide to the divine. Don’t people want to be happy? Don’t people want to know the truth?

Really, people do want to be happy. But if you allow your irritation to tarnish the Message that you say you wish to share… well its tough. If your face turns sour, if your words become bitter, you are not sharing candy anymore. You are only sharing your annoyance. It is simply no excuse that you THINK your righteous fury originates from the Truth. No, sweetie. Not so simple…

Anger and Truths
However right you
Feel you are, sayang,
Have care that
Anger does
Not precede
The truth.

No one will drink
From a filthy glass
Though it is filled
With the finest
Of wines.
…………………..
(“sayang” means ‘love’ or ‘my love’ in my Malay language)

It is not easy. I am impatient and have anger- management issues myself. I used to bitch why God/Fate/Karma makes it so damn hard for me to be patient. Why it appears so easy for other people. Then one day, a friend pulled me aside and said “Taufiq, you old goat! It is not easy for them too. If it was easy, then it isn’t patience!”.

So I am still trying to be patient. I am not aiming high, you know. Patient like a normal decent person is fine. I am not asking God to send a tsunami wave to test my patience. Not finding a decent parking space is the sort of daily tests I would be happy to confront. What can I say? I am sub-mediocre.

But for those who make it appear so freakin’ easy to be patient – well, please accept my thank you for being beautiful in the cosmic-level. You are freakin' wonderful. You know who you are.

Have a great day, sunshine.


Pax Taufiqa

“Lighthouse” is from the chapter entitled ‘Maqsud & Matlamat’’, circa early 2006
“Anger and Truths” is from the chapter entitled “The Bride’s Dress”, circa January 2010.

When Love Beckons

26. Manners

When anger beckons
Draw empathy close,
When rights beckon
Draw mercy close,
And when love beckons
Draw the curtains close.

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No.26, from 'Springtime of Adam'. No explanations necessary here, I think.