O’ fear, you have long haunted me,
O’ failure, you have long dogged my steps,
O’ hate, you have long coloured by view,
O’ misery, you follow upon your brethren’s way
And often darken my day.
O’ envy, you tried to make me
An enemy of my brother,
O’ lust, you tried to make me
An exploiter of my sister,
O’ ego, you befriended all these bad things
And tried to convince me that
They are all my good friends.
O’ hubris, you have abused
My spiritual inheritance for
Your own corrupt ends!
Well, today I am going.
And I shan’t pause to say goodbye.
My Lord misses me and wants me home,
And there I shall be an apple
In my Beloved’s eye.
Two Sundays ago, on the eve of Ramadhan, this prose was kindly posted up at the Camel Saloon by its worthy barkeep, Russell. Whether it is Ramadhan or any other month, each moment in our life is a migration from bad to good, and good to better, and better to even better. It is especially so I guess for those who fast and keep to their good manners in this particularly holy month.
The highest (and most difficult) fast is the fasting to refrain from acting upon our bad traits, most often motivated by our despicable ego. Physical fasting helps because it weakens our ego, enabling our better selves to come to the fore front. It is not the final act, nor is it a final step in the path towards servanthood. But it is an important step. So my clown is making her way out of one door, only to be confronted with the negative emotions and purposes at another level. So long as she is alive, her foes shall continue to bark and bite at her heels. But by God, in this perfectly beautiful Ramadhan, she will know with certainty that God and the Prophet is on her side, with the host of prophets, saints and angels rooting for her to succeed and overcome her lower instincts - a step closer to truly becoming an apple in the eye of the Beloved. I just thought that you should be aware of this too. That is why I wrote this posting.
So cheer up, sunshine, and never despair.
wa min Allah at-taufiq.