Holiness is what people chase after
When they cannot find pleasure.
Hubris is what people attain
After they think they have achieved humility.
Humility is how people disguise
People often use religion to
Rationalise their bigotry.
Yet having no pretensions
Is the worst pretension
Of them all. .
The spiritual way is the most rewarding path for those who desire to live life to its fullest. And the only way that you can do that is to squeeze each meaning, double meanings, contradictions and constancies from every moment of your short mortal existence.
It is no way for the faint hearted. For once you have reached one plateau of understanding, you will find that there is another, and another, and another. The meaning of moments is that Divine tube of toothpaste you hold in your soul– you squeeze and squeeze and squeeze and you KNOW that there is always another dollop of meaning still left inside the tube. You just need to know how to squeeze that damn thing out. It takes practice, but you can do it. It is called contemplation and reflection. Some people call it praying, but others call it living. The latter is in a better state than the former.
I am just 41, but I feel old. Ancient even. Sometimes reflection gives you the illusion of having lived your life a thousand times over. It is not bad, and you are provided wonderful vistas, like travelling down a railway line through a beautiful meadow or mountain pass, but each time you past the same way, somehow or rather, the meadow is more beautiful and the mountain pass is more awe inspiring.
It is a necessary journey, it is a magnificent path. But just like you, I too sometimes miss my home with God and the Prophet, and would like to return soon. People are asking and speaking all sorts of things, and I do not think I can give what they desire. In times like this I turn to our God who has never rejected me, however wretched I have chosen to live my life.
I often complain about the warm nights we must suffer here in the tropics. But tonight it is especially chilly, and I dream of the warmth of a burial. When you see the earth piled into my grave, do not despair or feel sorrowful for me. For another everlasting door is finally turning upon its ancient hinge and my heart shall finally be whole, once again.
Do you understand what I am talking about, sunshine?
wa min Allah at-taufiq.