HIJRA AND A NEW BEGINNING

Salams, sunshine. the sinner has migrated (digitally) to a new website. Visit me at Notrumi. It has been awhile, I know.  I have in fact been planning this hijra (pilgrimage) for some time now since last year. And now it begins. No more hesitation, no more procrastination.

May this be a good beginning for us all, insyaAllah.

(Dear God... I am gonna miss writing here.)

wa min Allah at-taufiq

THE WIND TREE, THE FAKE FAKIR AND THE SOLE REASON FOR HISTORY

The Wind Tree
If you wish to fly like the wind,
You must have roots like the tree.
..........................................

A Hullo. Hullo there, sunshine. I must admit that it has been some time since I last wrote here in the almanac. I do not know if I will continue writing regularly henceforth, but let us not worry about that...

Reality of History. You know, it is no good to desire some transcendental ascent, without good solid grounding in reality, and in particular, how our own history shapes it.

For history tells us how we come to be here today. Through the daily lives of our fathers and mothers, and our forefathers before them, through their fate we are led to this point in our life, and our own fate, insignificant as it may seem in the greater cosmos.

Importance and Self-importance. Yet, you are not insignificant. Whether you are a beggar in the street, a reveler in the nightclub or a dervish in the mosque, you are certainly important. Most importantly because you are beloved and cared by your Creator.

The risk is how our own hubris and pride takes that divine importance and turn it into damnable self-importance. 

The True Self is... Perhaps this is why I have been writing less nowadays. Repelled by my own horrible sense of self-importance. I guess I am tired of feeling like a fake faker, Ooh, Taufiq you fool, so full of your 'self'! I know this because an ancient friend tells me this - 'your true self is in your actions, actions motivated by selflessness. Any other reason for conduct is an illusion and a trap.'  

The Sole Reason for History. If only I could just let go and disappear. For I can sense the roots that entwine us all in the clay of our fragile humanity. There, in our shared history is all the nourishment we need for a better future. All the lessons and examples, the parables and wisdom of the Prophets of God. 

But knowing something is not the same as living something. So please, pray for me, sunshine! May Allah (swt) bless your kindness with the attention and guidance of Nabi Muhammad (saws), for he is the epitome of selflessness and generosity, and the entire cause and reason for our creation and history.

Don't you agree?  

wa min Allah at-taufiq

Hate has no place in Islam

Love will show the Way

A BONFIRE OF WHITE FIRE

A Bonfire of White Fire

You are my wonder

You are my mystery

You are my forever

And I would lay waste

All my world for You

In a bonfire of white fire,

If it was Your pleasure,

You are my perfection

You are my redeemer

My Guide and my Master

And how I regret each breath

That I steal when of You

I fail to remember,

For it is theft that I commit,

It is a fraud that I abet,

It is a lie that I aid to fulfill,

The vainglory of my capricious will...

When oh Lord, oh Master,

I forget myself for even a moment.

By forgetting my God, Allah, and Muhammad, my Master,

........................

The seconds are endless... the days countless... the years, shamefully many in which I, your writer, has constantly failed to remember God Almighty, and His Habibullah, Nabi Muhammad (saws).

For I fear that for far too long, I, your sinner, was easily persuaded by the temporary distractions of this world, by the poison honey, the chemical happiness, the cheap tawdry gratification so well presented in the window shop of this reality. 

But not you, sunshine. You who are my betters, saw through the deception of this ego-world, and learned well the lessons. At the knees of the wise, you learned to discern the true sweetness of love, the honey of submission, the wine of exaltation in the praise of Allah swt and the wonder that is the Holy al-Quran and the sunnah (traditions) of His Beloved Muhammad (saws).

If you can spare a cup of knowledge, a drop of compassion, a hint of hope, pour your love in my direction, and keep me in your prayers, please. You may consider yourself ordinary, my readers. But I see you very differently. You are my hope for my humanity. So grip tight the robes of the saints and the saintly!  

wa min Allah at-taufiq

Notrumi Embun, 1st September 2014

Hate has no place in Islam

Love will show the Way   

MOST GLORIOUS (AND THE GLORY IN THE NIGHT)

Most Glorious

I know of hemlock that I may know of bees and their honey,

I know what is wrong that I may do what is right,

I know pain and illness that I may receive relief and comfort,

I know the brightness of day that I may keep by His side through the night,

I know of illiteracy and ignorance that I may receive His Holy Words,

I know of evil that Man do that I may see God's Own Goodness,

I know the bland and dull that I may see His Most Wonderous

Speaking to me in tongues too subtle for men to record,

About Him, His Mercy, He, our God

At His Most Glorious!

........................

Everything is known by their opposites. And this is good news for me as a sinner (and perhaps for you too), for I have sown my sins and tilled the field of my ignorance. I have spread darkness across the horizon of my own world till it has gone all dark. As if the night of my negligence was not dark enough, I have poured into the sky, the blackest ink from my pen. 

But now that the dark is getting darker, the sky is getting blacker, I can see the Light shining brighter, and the stars of His Muhammad (saws) and the Companions (ra) radiating brighter and brighter. 

It's a karma thing. He he he.

Tahajjud. My ancient friend tells me that "When you wake up in the middle of the night, know that Allah (swt) is calling on you to an intimate congress with him. Take your wuduk (physical and spiritual ablution) and perform the tahajjud (nightly prayers). And see where the Glory in the Night will take you..." 

wa min Allah at-taufiq

-Notrumi Embun, 9th July 2014

Hate has no place in Islam

Love will show you the Way

SUBTLY, ESSENTIALLY, PAINFULLY BEAUTIFUL

A Pen Full of Raindrops

My Love is in the falling rain,

He tells me to stay awake 

And to come out into the night,

My Love is in the sleepless twilight,

Beneath starlight eaves with

Columns of white light

From the prayers of men, 

My Love is filling my pen

With raindrops as countless

As my sins...

.............

I am a rainy fellow. I love the rain, and when I heard the heavy patter of rain on the roof, I know that I cannot stay in. Not when the black night outside is suddenly alive with His Merciful rain. So much for my plans for an early night. He he he. I am sure God plans best of all.

Earlier tonight I asked myself if I know Islam. And I am quite sure I do not know anything much, if anything at all. In fact, I am beginning to suspect that Islam is much, much more vast than even my wildest imaginings can imagine. Islam is far, far more wondrous than any wonder that man has ever built. And it is beautiful. It is subtly, essentially, painfully beautiful. For it hurts your heart's eye even to glance but for awhile into Islam's forge of love, where words and deeds are hone in the white fire of Divine Love... syariat... tariqat, hakikat... makrifat...

What do these words even mean? I am stealing words from the library of the saints, knowing nothing of their meanings. 

What has meaning to me is the rain. Little pools of mercy and blessings on the ground now that the rain has left. Many people will be asleep not even realising this. God's blessing whether we are good or bad, whether we are awake or asleep. So what do we have to complain about? Nothing. And what do we have to be grateful for? Everything.

Let us discard the garbs of knowledge, thinking ourselves as 'knowing' our religion. There is no knowing or owning of anything in this world. There is only God Almighty, and there is His Beloved Habibullah (saws). Everything, and anything else are just shadows on the wall, transient ripples in the ocean. 

Don't you agree, sunshine?

wa min Allah at-taufiq

-Notrumi Embun, 8th July 2014

Hate has no place in Islam

Love will show the Way

HU AM I? ,... I am Notrumi

Please Tell Me

Behind closed doors,

Hidden in the veil that we all wear,

What are we?

Father? Mother? Friend or enemy?

Righteous man or riddled with hypocrisy?

If you know me, please tell me...

.................

Everyone and his auntie has
written of Rumi and his poetry.
I am Notrumi, and you shan't find
any Rumi here.

Hu Am I? Sufis, artists, lawyers and doctors, beggars and farmers, chairman of the board and the security guard smartly saluting you as you pass him by, all of humanity faces the same question that has dogged our species for eons - what am I? Who am I?

Though we would like to believe that we are what we believe in, it can get a little tiring to be defined by what you think you believe in and nothing beyond that. The truth is our inner consciousness is a turbulent sea, a veritable ocean of disparate thoughts, biases, passions and confusions. A constant storm of contradictions, confusions, perceptions and misconceptions. So my old friend tells me - "Do not let your inner self remain inner. You are what you do, so do! Leave the exhausting inner debate and let your actions define who you are." 

May God dress you with goodness, inside and outside. For the opposite of goodness is a lie, and we don't want to continue living a lie of a life.

Pray for me, sunshine! 

I am a beggar, the acute sinner,

The drunk derelict,

I am Notrumi.

wa min Allah at-taufiq

Hate has no place in Islam

Love will show the Way

THE CENTRE OF THE CENTRE -

How wide the centre white line appear to be when you get smaller!
Here is the manifestation of an ego under control.
(someone else's ego, that is. Not mine!)

Where is the Centre of the Centre?

You and I,

We are walking the Path,

And the best and the safest line

Is straight down the middle,

But the middle way,

The centre of the Path

Is a strange place indeed.

Because the smaller we get,

The more we can adjust our line

To a better middle,

A more centre err... centre.

And since there is no end as to how small we can be,

Then there is in truth no end as to how centre we can be

As we walk along the Path,

So be not like those who have judge themselves as 

Being perfectly centred!

For they are likely to judge and condemn those

Who are not along their line of

Walking, thinking, praying and living.

...........................

The Secrets of Muhammad (s.a.w.s.) After all, sunshine, true perfection (that is beyond the comprehension of us mere mortals) is the remit of Allah (s.w.t.) alone, and if there is created perfection to be reflected upon, then I reckon the owner of such perfection is the Beloved of Allah (s.w.t.), our Prophet Muhammad Habibullah (s.a.w.s.). And even such prophetic perfection we are only just beginning to understand. For such is the completeness and continuity of His blessings and powers granted unto his blessed person by the Almighty God that they increase with each measure, as if there is any man or angel created who is capable of measuring the gifts of Allah (s.w.t.) to His Chosen One... 

Ya Rabbi, the secrets of Your Muhammad (s.a.w.s.) is 

Yours to keep secret and disclose as You will!

Standing on the Edge of the Precipice. Let us leave the crazy loony murdering fanatics to the madness of their dogma, whether they call themselves Muslims, Jews, Christians, Hindus, Buddhists or Atheists. For they have taken a bit of knowledge, but have lost control of their ego, growing bigger and bigger until the Path appears so small, tight and narrow that they are standing upon the edge of the Path...

71. One Path, But Wide II (Or Angels In Hardhats)

You say the Path is straight and lo, so narrow!

But perhaps it is simply because you are standing on its edge?

 ..........................

And this is why, I guess, that the Saints and Shaykhs have time and time again admonished the mureeds (students), "Try to be nothing!". 

He he he. Easier said than done, of course. But what is life without a challenge? What is life without a journey? If anything, God the All-Loving doesn't want His creation to get bored with easy quests and easy-peasy tests...

55. Love Test

I am He who heals all wounds

I am He who cherishes the afflicted

I am He whom you claim to love

What is love if it is not tested?

I am writing this as a sinner, still wandering about the X and Y axis, looking for the centre of the graph, the Sublime Zero where naught occurs but by the Will of Allah the One. But I am thankful that at least I know our centre... our own beloved Prophet, Muhammad (s.a.w.s.). The way is there along the path of the Holy Quran and the Sunnah (traditions) of the Habibullah (s.a.w.s.). Can you see it in the horizons of your soul?

May you be safe in your journey, sunshine. Please leave some clues and signs in your wake and I will follow your breadcrumbs out of the witch's forest. 

The same old story for me. All over the X and Y planes...
Help! 

wa min Allah at-taufiq

Hate has no place in Islam

Love will show the Way

BREAKING FAST WITH CELESTIAL THOUGHTS - The Ramadan Story, Part 15

Time & the Heart

A second ago is not just one second long,

It can be as long as eternity

And shorter than even one second.

And a thousand years ago is not just one thousand years long,

For that too can be as long as eternity

And much, much shorter than one thousand years.

Such is the vast expanse of a believing heart,

Whose expansion and contraction cannot

Be counted or measured

By physical limits.

And alas, such is also the smallness of a heart

Constrained by hate, bigotry

And hubris,

Deceived by the pettiness of its piety

Or completeness of its knowledge.

..............................

How strange the month of Ramadan can be. For it pulls, stretches and manipulates the normal order of nature, the proper sequence of events, of cause and consequence, and of time itself.

Still many hours to go. Perhaps it is the hunger or thirst that makes the day long. The constant inquiring glance at the clock. Oh, no! Six more hours to go. Then again. Oh no! Still five hours and fifty-five minutes to go before iftar!(the breaking of the fast at sunset and upon the call of the Muezzin for the Maghrib prayers) For a smoker, this wait is often interesting (and always challenging). Even in the last 10 days of this fasting month. He he he.

Praying while fasting. For those pious Muslims, I think the best part of Ramadan is their prayers during fasting. How beautiful and melancholic it must be, to be praying in the state of fasting, their bodies and all their senses suddenly focused in the magical moment, on that intimate occasion and sweet transaction, between the created and the Creator, between the one of many and the Absolute One (Ahad). Each recitation, each posture and gesture that he (or she) makes, in perfect union with the Universe, prostrating before the Unimaginable Beauty of Allah (s.w.t.), before His Unrivaled Mercy, before His Infinite ways by which He shows His Love for all His creatures... How I envy them.

Celestial thoughts. I like to break fast alone sometimes. I am not being antisocial or that I dislike company. It is just sometimes, when I am sitting alone, taking that first sip of water and first crust of bread, I feel like I am breaking fast with celestial thoughts. How gentle is that moment and how reassuring for a sinner like me. It is as if, God is saying, "Who will keep him company? Surely he shall not break his fast alone."

I am not a good person. I wish I was. I only hope that God shall continue to show me the way to commemorate Him better, serve Him better and thank Him better!

For you see, there is still much room for improvement. 

Have a lovely day, sunshine.

wa min Allah at-taufiq

Hate has no place in Islam

Love will show the Way

HE HU NEVER LETS US SINNERS DOWN - The Ramadan Story, Part 12

Uh oh. That's a lot of candles!

Numbers. Numbers are important. Especially to God, for it is through bearing witness to His Absolute Oneness and Utter Uniqueness (which is even beyond our bare estimation of what is common and what is unique), that makes you a believer in Him, in our One God. What makes you on the way to be a Muslim (for it is of course a journey), is to bear witness that Muhammad bin Abdullah (s.a.w.s.), is His Messenger.  

Clingy. Numbers are important to me too. Especially yesterday, when I crossed the threshold of 42 into the brand new me of 43 years old. I don't know why, but since hitting 40 I feel like time is accelerating, and I am being flung across the time-space continuum when I am still barely getting over not being a 30-something. Dismayed by the ever increasing numbers of candles on my birthday cake, I am becoming more and more attached to the number One, a.k.a. Allah (s.w.t.), the Most Loving, Most Assuring One. Perhaps not just attached... perhaps even clingy... Oh God! Don't leave me to these distracting and confusing numbers! 

Clingy. You get this way with age. He he he.

One. But numbers can also be good fun (and a good read). For instance, do you know that the number of words that make up The Hobbit bestseller by J.R.R. Tolkien? It is 95,694 words according to Wiki.Answers.Com. And from this same source, I also found out that the number of pages of The Hobbit depends on what edition you have, but they tend to be somewhere in the range of 270 to 330 pages. The reason why I am sharing with you this oh-so-interesting information (wait, wait, don't fall asleep yet!) is because last night Heche gave me my birthday present. It was the entire book printed on a single poster. For a Lord of the Rings acolyte, this is considered Tolkien-nirvana.

You can't read it from this small jpeg, but it's all there... the entire book. The poster is jusr
below 4 feet tall and more than 2 feet wide I reckon. When framed it must be mounted
on a wall in a library. And just when I was thinking of ending my tenancy at the Hermitage in
the Sky, Heche gives me a reason to stay on. There is a library, you see, in the Hermitage.

One But Any Number and Beyond Infinity. We had my (second) birthday dinner at my neighbourhood Mamak (Indian-Muslim) restaurant which is well known more for its location and service than its food or drink (I am being honest here). It is a bare spartan establishment, but I have had many a cuppa there and for this birthday I just wanted something friendly and familiar. So myself, Heche, Fifi, Efa and Kamarul purchased some food from the Ramadan Bazaar and enjoyed a cheerful break-fast there, thanks to the flexible interpretation of the no-outside-food rule by Iqbal the manager. So you see, the number 6 made me very happy yesterday too. For God is indeed the One, but when it comes to blessings, His measure is any number and beyond infinity.

HU. Allah (s.w.t.) is Hu (He). And Hu is He Hu never lets us down... masyaAllah, even if I am just a dog barking at the door of the Master.

Woof Woof!

That is sinner talk to mean "Right now I am simply happy. Thank you."

I was alone in the rain. Then You came and said You were my Friend.

Have a lovely day today, sunshine, and while you are at it, have a nice life too. For only God can truly compensate you for finding a place in your heart for an incorrigible sinner like me. Woof woof!

wa min Allah at-taufiq

Hate has no place in Islam

Love will show the Way

Ramadan al-Mubarak and the Nourishment of Love - The Ramadan Story, Part 1

The Month of Sinners. Do you know that this blessed month of Ramadan is the month of us sinners? Oh yeah. Well, it is also a month for all sorts of things... it is also the Month of Quran, the Month of Light, the Month of the Poor, the Month of Repentance, the Month of Invocation and Standing in Supplication, the Month of Doing One's Best, the Month of Victory and Success and the list goes on and on. And just so you and I are not mistaken in the divine awesomeness of Ramadan, it is also known as Sayyid al-Shuhur, the Master of All Months. 

ADAB (Good Manners) YA HU (Oh He!) This, in two very short and perhaps surprising phrase for some, is inscribed above the doorway of a Sufi Grandmaster, in his little abode in Lefke, Turkish-Cyprus. In a breathless act of grandstanding, this sinner is also putting one up above the entrance to the hermitage in the sky. Below are practice sketches of the writing by my good ol' buddy, Moses. I think they look beautiful, don't you?

There is only a few minutes left before fasting on this very 1st day of Ramadhan. So I bid you a wonderful and joyous Ramadan al-Mubarak, and though we may empty ourselves of food and water for awhile, may we also gain eternal light, peace, good manners, knowledge, patience, constancy and contentment that is the Nourishment of Love. And this is a dish served especially in this blessed month.

Have a lovely month, sunshine!

wa min allah at-taufiq

Hate has no place in Islam

Love will show the Way

Going Green - the good, the bad, the sinner, the saintly, the saints...

Green Kuching

In the city of Kuching, Sarawak,

On the Island of Borneo,

There runs a mighty river,

Beside the river there sits a mosque,

And in the compound of the mosque

There is a cemetery,

In the cemetery there is a grave,

And on the grave rests a headstone

Carved of wood and shaped into a point,

Around the headstone is wrapped

A turban of green.

..................................

Green Jakarta

In the city of Jakarta, Indonesia,

On the Island of Java

There is a small hotel,

And in the hotel there sits a man,

He is a sinner, a wandering fool,

A desperate soul clinging to goodness

Like a rat in a flood,

Around his finger is wrapped a ring of silver

And set upon the ring is

A stone of green.

..................................

I am a sinner. But you know... the good thing about being bad is that you tend to see all these saints and the saintly in our life - as a mark contradistinction from ourselves. A beautiful view... alhamdulillah! (praise be unto God!) Of course we do not condone 'badness' and we have no intention to be bad all the time or forever. So God has generously sprinkled around us bad ones, the Good Ones. No doubt as a lesson for us, an example to emulate... and a mercy to experience.

And the Good Ones are always with God the One. Goodness all around, permeating the air that we breath, the water that we drink, the hand that we kiss with affection. We seek their company always. Like the moth we are drawn to the light.

A happy optimistic note for a happy hopeful Monday! God bless you, sunshine.

A Good One... 

wa min Allah at-taufiq

Hate has no place in Islam

Love will show the Way

Grapes of Wrath - sometimes, for your sake, God plays deaf

164. Noble Fruit

From ill-intent, nobility may yet blossom

As sometimes, contrary to the owner’s worst intention

That the Grapes of Wrath are plucked before they ripen.

...............................

Given our nature, full of passion and disproportionate reaction, how many times have God waylaid our bad intentions and guided our path, often against our will, to the one best for us?

Answer: All the time.

Rumi once said, "God, in His mercy, sometimes refuse our prayers." I think there is a lot of truths in that. Like God refusing to open all manner of hell on that damn driver who just jumped the queue in front of you. You know it has happened.

He he he.

Have a wonderful Friday, sunshine. Drive safe, and thank God that God sometimes plays deaf and answers you with a "Say what?"

wa min Allah at-taufiq

Hate has no place in Islam

Love will show the Way

The Bed of Rest, The Bed of Thankfulness - the Adab of Sleep

Thank You for You

I like to fall asleep

With thankfulness in my heart,

I therefore look upon the day past

And count my blessings

As I fall asleep,

Thank You, God, for my parents...

Thank You, God, for my brothers and sisters...

For my aunties and uncles (even the crazy ones)...

For my beloved friends...

For the stars in the sky,

For the apple of my eye,

For this person that I call 'I',

And thank You most kindly

For Your Muhammad, Your anointed Mercy

That you have shared with me,

And lastly (but most importantly),

Thank You for You!

..................

I had a bad morning waking up. It is because I fell asleep last night with dark thoughts, a little bit of disappointment, and some bitterness. Oh, what a fool I am!

So tonight I intend to have better care of the thoughts that spring into my mind as I lay my head to sleep. And call upon the names of He that loves me best of all, and His Beloved Muhammad (s.a.w.s.), Prophet of God.

Coming into my 43rd year, and here I am, still learning how to do better what comes most naturally to us in the quiet of night... falling asleep. Funnily, this makes me feel young!

He he he.

Good night, sunshine. Let your bed of rest be a bed of thankfulness.

wa min Allah at-taufiq

Hate has no place in Islam

Love will show the Way

THINK WELL OF YOURSELF - If you don't, who will? Hu will!

Thinking Well

Think well of yourself,

That you will be good and do good,

That your efforts in charity and piety

Is motivated by the best of reasons

And with the deepest of sincerity.

Think well of yourself,

Whatever villainy you did yesterday,

However lost you became yesterday...

For yesterday is yesterday,

Today is today

And tomorrow is tomorrow...

For verily, Allah and His Rasul

Always thinks well of you.

.....................................

A True Story. Joseph (my friend) was tending sheep and goats under the care of his master. One late night, Joseph was caught by the night watchmen of the city in possession of contraband (Hashish). Early morning at 1.00 am the master arrived at the city hall to post bail and got Joseph out. The master said not one word in anger or condemnation through the quiet drive home.

After a restless night of guilty contemplation, Joseph woke up and the day's chore of tending to the animals began as any other ordinary day. He met the master at the goat house and they started to clear and clean the feed trough. Finally, unable to bear his emotions, Joseph blurted out, "You know, I am really sorry about what happen last night!"

The master paused in mid-scoop, straightened his back and turned to Joseph. Then he said, "There is nothing to be sorry about. Today is a new day, yesterday was yesterday and tomorrow will be tomorrow. Let us leave what happened yesterday to yesterday." He then smiled and returned to his labour.

I wonder how people get away from judging other people, especially when circumstances makes it so natural for us to judge! But I guess that is difference between me and Joseph's master. It is not natural to him because he has not permitted his ego to be his natural state.

God bless him. God bless Joseph. And God bless you, sunshine. 

wa min Allah at-taufiq

Hate has no place in Islam

Love will show the Way

The Secret Nature of the Red Sulphur

Red Sulphur

I am diminished,

Amounting to nothing,

If only I could share this with you

Without writing, without living,

Without reflecting or breathing.

If you read this, 

Assure the Lord that through

Your heart passed a thought,

And you know not from whence it came,

Nor who spoke them to you.

That way I can still continue writing,

And you can still continue reading,

But we can still amount to nothing...

Seeking the secret nature of the red sulfur.

..................................

Do you know that I am a prostitute? I have given myself to the world and all its distractions for a few baubles of worthless stones and validation by worthless men. Do you know that I am a thief? I have misappropriated time meant for virtuous deeds but filled them with lust, depravity and deceit. Do you know that I am a sorcerer? I have rejected the company of Angels and Heralds, preferring the boisterous party of Djinns and men with the nature of Djinns.

Well, you should know all this, for this is the sinner's almanac!

He he he.

If I have some hope for redemption and mercy, why should you, of all people, worry? You are beautiful already, sunshine.

So don't worry. Be happy. Believe. And help me find the secret nature of the Red Sulphur.

wa min Allah at-taufiq

Hate has no place in Islam

Love will show the Way

I Write. I Am Not Always Right - for Muhammad (s.a.w.s.)

For Muhammad

I am the cloud, and I am raining for him,

I am the river, and I am flowing for him,

I am the sea, and I am both stormy and calm for him,

I am the tiger, and I roam and hunt for him,

I am the cow, and I give milk for him,

I am the bee and I make honey for him

And protect my hive from the bear for him,

I am the sun, and I shine bright for him,

I am the moon, and I illuminate the night for him,

I am a man, and I laugh and smile,

I love and I cry,  live, work, play 

And die for him,

Were he not created first of all,

None of us would be here at all,

Not the prophets nor the saints,

Not the saintly nor the sinners,

Not the devil and his minions,

Nor Mikha'il and his brethren,

Not the Sun nor the Moon,

Not heaven, hell nor Earth,

Not the tiger, the honey bear 

Or the bees would be...

Till he is.

............................

Hey, sunshine. I record all these prose venerating the Prophet Muhammad (s.a.w.s.). And indeed, it is true that my friends often cry thinking about the Prophet (s.a.w.s.). I do too. But I know myself all to well to give any credit to my feelings. Is it sincere, or merely crocodile tears? And I often smile and laugh over the very human stories of the Companions and Saints of the Prophet (s.a.w.s.). The stories are often anecdotal with human drama, wit and irony. 

But I do not trust myself, nor my tears nor my laughter. Even these words laid out here in the almanac, they may be true as to its content (I say so myself), but whether I am true to my own words... Alas, please ask God (s.w.t.) and his Beloved Prophet (s.a.w.s.) that question. 

I write, yes. But I am not always right. There is a terminology to describe my condition - a sinner.

But I am also a happy sinner. For as I live my sinful life, I often meet saintly people, and they do not spurn me nor my friendship. They are strong in their faith, patient in their tribulations, exemplifying tolerance, understanding, kindness and love for their fellow human beings, and all creatures in the known Universe and across all dimensions and worlds. They are the sort of people that the Prophet once referred to - they are those from whom no one need fear anything, whether from their mouth nor from their hands. The Prophet called them, my people... the Muslims.

A Muslim

And the best thing of all, if you ask such people, "Are you a Muslim?" They will always reply, "I am trying my best to be. So help me." These people have left the world of labels and illusory titles and names behind. Besotted as they are by the Greatest Artist behind the Greatest Art that is this beautiful world. And verily, God first created the finest of all being, Muhammad, Beloved of Allah.

Well, that is sorted. I am packing for a trip to Kuching, Sarawak, sunshine. A fresh grave, a house, a friend and a family will be my abode for the next few days. I plan this to be a walking trip. May God and His Prophet (s.a.w.s.) guide me best, for I am always lost, dumb and often confounded by my own imagination and ego run riot.

wa min Allah at-taufiq

Hate has no place in Islam

Love will show the Way