If Love is Trying To Drown You, Why Struggle? - the challenging quest of comprehending God and Love

94. I heard this somewhere, I read this somewhere

You say you love God,

Say instead that you love

The idea of God,

For if God has wrecked

Your ship on the rocks

Of fate, why then are you

Still holding on to

Floating planks?

...............

I am guilty of speaking easily about love, that four letter word that has conquered hate and hubris, been the fountain of many happy marriages, a constant inspiration for poets, singers and songwriters and has brought evil empires and tyrants down to heel. Love, simple to comprehend, is difficult to master for sinners like myself, who is still here in the kindergarten of Love, the biggest 'little boy' in the playground.

I don't know about you, but I am in love with the idea of God most of the time, and actually loving God during brief storms of clarity that has dashed my ship against the rocks that surround the shores of my soul. And even then, I am afraid that I often gasp for air and cling to the row or any other floating plank close at hand. For you see, I am not really very good with this love malarkey.

The angels often comment that it was my weight that ultimately sank my boat, and not love. But what do angels know?

Thus I am, my friend. Weak and prone to selfishness, conceited and often ruled by a hot temper. It is just my luck that God and the Prophet(pbuh) has populated my corner of the Mercy Ocean with saintly friends, family and sainted masters that would come to my rescue and heave my soaking wet self on board. But perhaps I was always destined to be a stowaway on someone else's ship. For I know that left to myself, I shall never be able to venture far into the beautiful blue waters of God's Mercy Ocean. Oh no, now that I think about it, I am not complaining at all. But before I conclude, I must ask you this -

The Question

If you are about to journey across God's Mercy Ocean,

Why are you wearing a life-jacket?
And if Love is trying 
To drown you,
Why struggle?

Hehehe.

wa min Allah at-taufiq

Hate has no place in Islam

Love will show the Way

Gentle Mistress, River Heart, Mercy Ocean - a resolution

Gentle Mistress, River Heart, Mercy Ocean

Oh world,

My gentle mistress,

I cannot stay faithful to you,

Oh world,

My pleasing mistress,

I cannot stay all just for you,

Oh world,

My cruel mistress,

I cannot love you unconditionally anymore,

For you are not who you say you are,

And for that, I do not blame you at all,

For you were made deceptive and beautiful,

You were made to dominate and endure,

But now that I think I understand you a little better,

I would like to keep a little distance,

You can understand, I am sure.

You never asked me to be your king,

The throne, the crown I alone desired,

You never asked me for anything,

This foolish deed is all mine, I fear.

I forgive you your nature, oh world,

So please forgive me mine.

I turn to the Lord that made you and I,

And I ask for a guide

To find me the River Heart of Muhammad

To the Mercy Ocean of God...

And I am sure, in time, I will.

........................................

There is no point in loving without knowing. And I find that the longer I live, the more I know about this world. And the more I know the more I respect it. I admire the elegant structure of the flowers and the trees, the flowing form of the feline and the royal mane of the lion. I admire the rain and the sun, the earth and the water. And I come to behold the human form perfect and harmonious. This is all apparent, but I also hold dear the inner essence. How life and nature interacts with our conscience and heart. How the outer form clothes the inner meaning, and how the inner essence gives meaning to our form.

Life is too short to be sad or angry. R.E.S.P.E.C.T.

Thank you for dropping in, sunshine. ya Huu for Friday!

Pax Taufiqa

Hate has no place in Islam

Love will show the Way

The River and the Ocean, when the Message in the Bottle is You Yourself

19. I am a river

I have a promise to keep,

I have a purpose to keep,

I have a house to keep,

But I am not here,

So these tasks

Flow to me

and through me,

I tell them, these heavy burdens,

O' Ships of causes and consequences!

Tarry not on my riverbanks,

Sweep straight through

And set sail for the Ocean,

For I too am imprisoned

By causes and consequences.

For resolutions of doubt

lies in the Sea of Mercy,

In the Ocean of Certainty,

Naught in me!

Five times a day, I like to dip my pinky toes into the shore of a vast ocean. Five times a day I let go of the burden of existence, of the weight of cause and consequences, and find myself by the Sea of Infinite Mercy. There I stuff all my worries and anxieties into a bottle, and address it politely to "God Almighty, Certainty Avenue, Everywheretown, P.O. Box 01 Nowhereville." Then I would chuck the bottle as far as I can into the sea. Sometimes an Angel in the shape of a seagull would swoop down and catch the bottle in mid-flight, and carry it far, far away.

But on a really bad day, our state of worldly being is so inflamed, that I would forget with the niceties of a bottle. I would simply leap into the waves, and let the current take me as far into the ocean as it wants to. In such times, my message to God is me myself, pleading to Him, "Help." 

And He does.

Have a by-the-sea-lovely day, sunshine.

wa min Allah at-taufiq

Hate has no place in Islam

Love will show the Way

I Can Wait, My Love... If You Will Wait With Me (and nuts to the extremists!)

I Can Wait, My Love... If You Will Wait With Me

I awoke from my tired slumber,

My pocket full of dreams,

I stood up and found my head above the clouds,

I looked below and saw the earth at my feet,

Rivers ran through my legs, and people like ants

Crawling all over, looking and looking,

Searching for what they do not know…

I awoke from my tired slumber,

And sat up upon a sandy shore

With the bluest sea lying beside,

I cried and cried and cried,

Gazing far into the open sea,

I cried and cried and cried,

Asking God, “Where do You want of me?"

I awoke from my tired slumber,

And found myself in a celestial congress,

They all turned and looked at me,

Their eyes full of wisdom,

Their lips full of love,

Little stars in a heavenly sky,

“Look to us, However lost you may be.”

So said the Saints in their assembly,

Beside the Stream of Time,

Beneath the Apple Tree.

I awoke from my tired slumber,

To the songs of Cherubims

And Seraphims’ horns,

I looked around and found my bolster,
So I drifted back to sleep
As the music played on.

.............................

Asleep to Reality, conscious to the Illusory or the other way around, we will  still be here for a while yet, sunshine. Here on this planet and this world. So stick by God, my brothers and sisters, and nuts to the ideological and religious extremists. We will muddle through just fine, insyaAllah (God willing).

Pax Taufiqa

Hate has no place in Islam

Love will show the Way

Layla, Majnun and their Big Fish in God's Ocean of love

26. The Smile

Layla! My Enthroned Sorrow!

My balm and heartache!

My sweet hemlock!

I caught Your Smile intended for another,

And it was I that You drove mad,

Though You were never mine.

Majnun!

Thou art blind,

For if thou saw My Smile,

Then it was always intended for thee,

And if I have ever Loved anyone any better,

Tell me, who can it be?

.....................

As a bona fide sinner, I don't go for the big fish. I am a timid sort of fisherman for love, and I would be happy enough to catch a small halibut for lunch. This is your fate and your limits when you are fishing at the very shallowest end of God's Ocean of Love. I am not complaining, I am gratified already to be allowed to slum about in His Creation. Thank You, God.

But once in a while, the great white whale passes underneath my rickety boat. That manifestation of Divine Love as reflected in the curious entanglement of Layla & Majnun. I don't often record such prose, but when the Big Love bumps my boat, I put down my fishing rod and just write. I dare not tempt fate when Big Love is knocking.

Our Weakness As Humans

When you are in love with a human being, you have to accept his weaknesses. He may not be geared to please your every whim 24/7. He is unlikely to be a great chef, he is probably not the fittest specimen on the block and he is likely to be hiding some other personal foibles too embarrassing to share with you even now. And sometimes, when he smiles, he is not smiling at you. There is nothing wrong with that.

There Is No Such Thing As Coincidence

If however you choose to love the Divine Being, the Celestial Lord, the One-and-Only-and-No-Other God Almighty, you can safely assume that if you catch the smile of God, it was certainly meant for you. For God does nothing without purpose, and there is nothing coincidental at all about Him and His actions.

Need We Choose?

Must we choose between mortal love or divine love? I don't think so. For if you are fated to love the Unlike-Any-Other (aka God), only then will you truly encapsulate and manifest your love for the any other (aka man or woman). Love for God is the championship of championships of love, The Nulli Secundus (Second to None) of romance, the Rolls Royce of intimacies and the Moby Dick of affections. 

Layla & Majnun is an ancient tale, but you can join the story at any time, sunshine.

Think about it.

Hate has no place in Islam

Love will show the Way

The Fisherman, Rabita and the Ocean of God

The Fisherman, Rabita and the Ocean of God

THE MAN. Once upon a time, in a space between eternity and the great big bang, lived a man. He didn’t appear to have much talent for anything really. But he could write love letters. He hired out his skills to his troubled young male friends, who often enough were stumped for words to woo their maidens. But one day, he grew bored of all transient sentimental sop, and was moved to write about God, the Prophet and Love… and so he did. And he used to write about all sorts of things, even flirting with fana (annihilation in the spirit of the masters, the Prophet and God) and rabita ( a divine connection)…

The ocean is lapping on the shores of fana,

The moon is reflected on the waters of rabita,

And thou art nothing but a ripple,

A cloud of human emotions gasping

Across an eternity of oceans.

A whim, a thought, an idea of God,

A gesture of Divine recreation,

A treasure from God’s heavens,

A river of sublime connection,

From the Earth to the Moon to the Sun.

PRIDE AND HUBRIS. And thus he fancied himself pretty knowledgeable about this Divine Love malarkey. And hubris grew in his heart, overpowering love. He felt himself privileged and special. Honoured to be amongst the few who traded their days and nights contemplating God and Beauty. He became a poseur of holy prose, and the light in his heart grew dim. He spoke with condescending tone of ‘the many’, veiling his pride with certainty…

Casting off from the harbour of doubt,

Beyond the servitude of your mind

Swimming in a sea of wine

Fancied by many,

Tasted by few.

THE SAINTS. But you do not live your life alone. And whether it is in the physical world or spiritual realm there are always onlookers. Minders of mankind – some people call them saints, others call them saintly. And there is also a part of mankind who call them cranks, witchdoctors and snake-oil salesmen, men not to be trusted. Anyway, the saints mind the Sea and all the swimmers in it. Actually, some people prefer to merely picnic by the beach. But others, aspirants of the Path especially (let’s call them mureeds), like to go swimming in the Sea. Of such people, the Saints are particularly mindful of. Partly because the passion seeded in these aspirant-mureeds often came from them. These young fellows often swim and drink, letting the wine go to their mind, conjecturing great visions as drunkards often do. And as everyone will tell you, you don’t drink and swim and expect calamity to avoid you. You are calling calamity your way…

And lo, the mureeds think they have journeyed far

And have seen the King and His crown,

Alas, to drink too much

And into their wine, they gently drown…

THE FISHERMAN. Fortunately above all saints, there is the Fisherman. He is unlike any man you have ever met. Indeed there are those who say that he is in fact the only Man to exist in the perfect form. In the beginning, there was the Sea, until God chose to bring forth from the sea a light, an Orb perfect and luminous as an infinite number of Suns. And as he was the first to arose from the Sea, it is only fitting that above all saints and lifeguards, he is the true Saviour and Salvation over the Sea. For this story, we will call him the Fisherman. And it is the Fisherman who trawls the oceans, always looking out for the hapless fools who plunge into the horizon of truth with nay a thought for their own welfare. Because these mureeds are young when compared to the age of Creation, they are often plagued by uneven passions. Sometimes being wonderfully good, at other times, negligent and forgetful. As they trash for dear life (which they inevitably do at the end), it is the Fisherman who comes along with his net…

Only to be caught

In the net of the Fisherman

Before they perished in their watery graves,

Pulling them out from their hubris state,

And who then wearily remonstrates,

“ Do not think highly of yourself,

Nor too lowly,

For each pretension

Leave a lot of souls

Drowning in this Ocean…!”

But the Fisherman smiled and concluded,

“And my boy, have I been busy salvaging you lot

Flirting with Rabita in the Ocean of God!”

.........................

Wa min Allah at-taufiq

Hate has no place in Islam

Love will show the Way

Knowledge, the Ocean of Love and the Snail

What are you looking at? Have you not met a snail before?!

1. O’ little snail!

Knowledge should move

You to action, o’ little snail,

Not burden you like

A house on your back.

You still judge.

That is why you

Do not budge.

Someone pretty damn smart said sometime ago that 'a little knowledge is a dangerous thing'. He is absolutely right. 

Physical sciences exists in the apparent forms of this world. It is something you can observe, weigh and measure. It is much easier to prove or disprove. But even the laws of physics evolve as the ability of man to crack the atomic apple increases and our ability to measure the building blocks of the Universe improves.

If caution is advisable when we approach physical knowledge, there is perhaps more reasons for us to be careful when we dip our toes into the infinite ocean of spiritual knowledge. It is a vast sea, sunshine, and its depth is as inexhaustible as the Imagination of God. Where do we go from our first step into the Ocean?

Where do we go from our first step into the Ocean?

Beats me. I don't know. Perhaps we are suppose to swim like a fish. Or sail like a pirate. Or fly like a seagull. There are many ways to traverse the Ocean of God, and I guess to each his own path. I am however pretty certain that we are not suppose to judge. Judging is the fullstop of our endeavours here. No swimming, no sailing or flying. We just end up like snails, carrying that so-called spiritual knowledge like a house on our back. And of course we cannot get close to the Ocean anymore, consisting as it is of salty seawater. So we end up trailing our judgments of others like slime across the shore of God. And nobody wants anything to do with us... after all, we are so judgmental!

I would like to say here that I do not judge. But I do... I am sorry for being a snail. Perhaps one day my knowledge would grow gills for me, that I might swim the Ocean of Love like a fish. Or perhaps sprout wings, that I might fly across the Sea of Mercy like a seagull. Or build me a ship, that I might sail through life as a pirate and take God's Compassion as booty. But until then... you have to be patient with me.

Thank you for dropping in today and visiting this snail sinner.

wa min Allah at-taufiq

Hate has no place in Islam

Love will show the Way

Who is Hu is He is God - When you ask the right questions, beautifully the answer would always be God.

3. N Ode 2 Hu

I am lowborn, who will raise me?

I am highborn, who will bring me down?

I am rude, who will teach me manners?

I am vain and proud, who is oft-bearing with me?

I am in love, who is in love with me?

I am yearning, who is yearning for me?

I am ablaze, who will quench the fire?

I am drowning, who will drain the ocean?

I am dying, who shall bury me?

I am a bird, but who gave me wings?

I am the sky, but who painted me blue?

I am a face, but who taught me to smile?

I am a prose, but who is the poet?

I am a lantern, but who is the light?

Who is asking? Who is answering?

What am I? Who am I?

Like a shadow on the wall?

Like a ripple in the ocean?

I am coming home, but who am I returning to?

Was I ever away?

Glossary -

Hu is Arabic and means 'He'. When mystics refer to He, they are talking about the pre-existing One and Only God, for to them no other 'he' is actually existing in the absolute sense. In an English - Arabic wordplay the prose is therefore saying that the 'Who' referred to in the verse is 'He', a.k.a. God. All human questions can only be answered by our beloved Creator, if you know the right questions to ask.

What a beautiful day this is turning out to be, sunshine.

wa min Allah at-taufiq

PS: The prose was published earlier, but I felt that the sketch (done this morning) kinda fits the words..., don't you agree?

A Wedding Day for a Poem and a Picture - Prose of Ramadhan Part 69

4. It is He
It is my Love that sends me
Pearls from His Ocean,
Saying, “Whither will you get pearls
If not from Me?”

It is my Love that sends me
Trials and loneliness,
Saying, “Whither will you find happiness
If not with Me?”

It is my Love that wraps His secrets
In veils and green ribbons,
Saying, “No love is greater than My Love,
No better place than being my servants.”

It is my Love that leaves me a beggar,
It is He that brings me closer,
The Wind in my sail, the Wave on my bow,
From stormy sea to gentle harbour.
It is He, my Love, and no other.

This prose is a very old prose and was posted earlier, but I just sketched the picture today - so today is the blessed day of union for the two lovebirds. Did I know that the picture would be wedded with this particular poem? Of course not! Love just happens, like in real life. 

Anyway, thank you for coming, for I have been frantically worrying about where to hold the wedding reception. The churches, mosques, temples and synagogues are all fully booked. But now that you are here, might I borrow a little corner of your heart for a ceremony of love? That is why you are here, right?

God bless you! Thank you, sunshine   ;)

wa min Allah at-taufiq.

An Ocean of Mercy in the Pacific

An Ocean of Mercy

I was asleep in the deepest of slumber,

Between the creation of the Pen

And the first sunrise upon

The mortal shore

Of my soul.

Awaken by my mother,
I turned away because

The Sun was too bright.

Yet I felt the Lord’s ocean

Lapping on my soil

A gentle ripple on

My naked skin.

I ignored the Ocean and

Its lessons, but I could not

Stop the sea from cleaving

Pieces of me apart

To show what lied

Underneath.

Within me I saw

A million years of

Contemplation,

The endless evenings

And the eternity of mornings

That preceded my birth…

As my ancestors contemplated the Ocean,

And Its joyous Mercies,

However much I try

To ignore the Ocean,

With each tide I perish a little

My doubts wither and brittle,

Confounding my skepticism

With each falling soil and clay

Into an unmarked watery grave,

As my senses uncoil

And my ego recoil

In the Reality

Of An Ocean of Mercy.

In the meeting place between our shore and the Ocean of Mercy is a garden of delight. It is perhaps intended to exist in the afterlife, in the hallowed Angelic realm of the Heavens. But the Angels are here, we are here and God is closer to us than our jugular, this much our spiritual lore tells us. So all parties concerned are here already, so I say let us plant our trees, plants and flowers for our hereafter here and now.

This Sabbath I strolled through my friend Peter's photo album. He was visiting another place, but his pictures took me somewhere else. Thank you, friend, for your inspiring vistas. May God inspire goodness and love within your heart and your family always.

Pax Taufiqa.

Women, you know not how you affect us...

42. Molten Love Bell
You come into my life,
And do this and speak that,
Thinking perhaps,
What little effect
I have on him!

Now, truly know that
Sometimes you are pulling
Bells of a cathedral raised
High in the hidden realm,

The bells are cast
In molten love,
From a fountain
That runs from
The lake of Ahmad
To the sea of Ahad.

And my heart is shaken
By the reverberations
From bone to thin skin,
And I cower in awe,
Wondering what does
This all mean.

Love, for me is a tiring thing. It is just like life when the Prophet once said, "You can rest, Taufiq, ... when you are dead." Well, he didn't put it that way, but the gist is there. And it is doubly so when Love, that intangible element finds its form in a woman - in her face, in her form and in her little gestures that was especially designed by the All-Greatest Designer (aka Mr.God) to attract your attention. She may be totally oblivious of your change of heart, she may be ignorant of your constant contemplation, but there you are. You are stuck, sunshine - An Adam neck deep in the morass of clueless infatuation with Eve (as most men find themselves in), blinking and pondering what to do next. Such is the beautiful tribulation that Love manifests in our hearts.

For Men - Good luck in riding the wave of love sprung from the Ocean of Unalloyed Joy. It is as beautiful, grand and lovely as God promised you... but boy, expect to fall into the ocean a couple of times at least (once a day, is a good ratio) Hehehe.

For Women - You know not how you affect us men!

To the lovers of Love, to the students of affection, to the custodians of responsibility, have a beautiful and Loveful Day.

Pax Taufiqa.

The Ocean of Ahad and Ahmad upon our Battered and Broken Shore

In the summer of 1994, while I was studying in Leeds University, I went on a trip to the south of England and there I found the captivating and wondrous Cornwall, the southern end of Britain which stretches its green toes into the North Atlantic Ocean. For the past 4 years I have not travelled much, remaining like a frog under a coconut shell here in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia.

It is good to travel. And in these past 3 weeks, I have journeyed further than I have ever did since 2007, venturing to the Holy Land and later to Jakarta. I returned from the Indonesian capital last Thursday a little weary, with a withering cough that is threatening to rip my chest in two. Well, maybe that is poetic exaggeration . I am a little unwell, that's all. Hehehe.

From my trips abroad however I have realised so many things - of my own faults, weaknesses and mistakes. I realise (and I should) how subtle is the human animal, how we are likely to be carried by the weight of our passion for what is good, not so good, naughty and down-right bad. I have little skill for either, but even as a sinner with no talent - it is easy to be bad. So this evening, as I awake from a frenetic Saturday night, I would like to assure my self that I am not alone in this challenge, and that however the day may turn out, we are all safe between the hands of Ahad and Ahmad, between God and His Prophet. That sadness and regret, however bitter, is but a blink of the cosmic eye, and only goodness is real and eternal. An ocean of virtue and love upon our battered and broken shore. So..., anyone for a beach picnic?!

1. Now tell me

How lucky am I to do evil at you,

For you are the discrete ones,

And you are loath to disclose

My misdeeds!

Indeed, I can see it in your eyes,

That you have drawn a veil

Between my misdeeds

And me.

How lucky am I!

Now tell me,

Who is this Lord of yours

To have such gracious servants?

Who is this Muhammad of yours

To have such a follower

Of merciful discretion?

If you are but a small sand

On the shores of your truth,

Oh, how beautiful must be

The Sea of Ahad and Ahmad!

Good curses on you,

For damning me now

With a yearning for something

So peaceful and calming!

1. Your reasons in the Hidden Realm.

When, how and where

You do what you do

Discloses a little

Of your intention.

But it is not all,

For only those

Who are keen and

Able to sift through

Your sands of confusion

In the Hidden Realm

Will ever really know.

And even that they

Partake from Muhammad,

Claiming nothing out

Of their own endeavours,

Being mere tributaries

Of a river

Flowing to the

Ocean Of Prophetic Wisdom.

Have a lovely Sunday, sunshine. I know it is sometimes hard to be happy and contented. But you must try. For that is the reality and every other interpretation is a falsehood fabricated by our wilful ego that is never ever satisfied. Pray for me.

Pax Taufiqa

Information Tsunami is the Elephant's Backside - Safe only at a Distance

Safe only at a Distance

THE INFORMATION TSUNAMI. We don’t know anything. This is true even as we are engulfed in the Information Tsunami through our newspapers, television, radio, cable channels, blackberries, twitter, facebook, google, blogs and chatrooms. "Surely, after so much data, SURELY, we must KNOW something!", they will protest. But they doth protest in futility.

I DON’T KNOW NUTHIN’! Unless we experience something, we do not really ‘know’ it. We know that a plane can fly, but we don’t know how to engineer and build one. And most of us don’t know how to fly a plane too. Come on, we don’t even know the number of hair on our body. So we don’t even really know our physical selves, much more anything (or anyone) else.

THE ELEPHANT AND THE THREE BLIND MEN. To cast knowledge as a permanent edifice in your mind is a dangerous thing. It is not permanent at all. Knowledge, especially empirical knowledge based on human observation of sight, smell and sound is only mere experimentations – so you have the famous story of the Elephant and Three Blind Men, each man imagining the elephant to be something else. My advise is never stand too close to the Information Tsunami. Its like the elephant's backside... you never know what might dump on you.

THE ONLY THINGS THAT IS CERTAIN IS PROBABILITY. Whether you are chasing some atoms down the atomic collider or seeking the Truth and Beauty of God held in the hands of saints, your chase shall never end, your library shall never be complete and your scholarly pursuit shall remain that till the day you die, a pursuit. If you think you can find certainty through analytical deduction and the rigours of academic exercise, you are mistaken. All you shall ever find are probabilities. As a wise and dead man once told me – Reason can see the dots, but it is your heart that will trace and link the dots together.

CIRCUIT BREAKER. Seekers of spiritual knowledge are more safeguarded because their entire endeavour is based on their own admission of imperfection, and in their journey to the perfection that is God’s Alone. They understand that each moment of knowledge is an instance of blessing where their internal circuit is complete to say or do that single thing at that single point in time. Thereafter the circuit breaks, and their ‘understanding’ or ‘knowledge’ is suspended – held in abeyance until God completes the circuit once again. And just because God does it all the time, these people do not take for granted that God will do it again. That is why such people are saints and people flock to them. They are not stained by the blot of religious hubris or material arrogance.

So you can apply this mortal limitation even to this blog. I am telling you nothing you don’t know already. The Ocean of the Lord is So Vast, and our boats are so small. True knowledge is swimming in the Sea of Mercy and picnicking on the Shore of Contentment. Today, I am bringing the sandwiches, sunshine… What are you bringing?

Hehehe. Have a lovely day, sunshine. Pax Taufiqa.

My little corner of a little streamlet to the Unseen Infinite Ocean of Love

141. Love Undeceived
I am Invincible.
Indomitable.
The First.
The Supreme.

But if I love you
More than your mother,
More than any other,
Do you ever wonder,
If I ever grieved to see you
Suffer this way?

My servants,
You talk so fine of love.

But your understanding of it
Is but that of a fisherman
Sitting by a streamlet,
Trying to comprehend
The Unseen Ocean
To which it
Ultimately flows.

.........................................

.

The poem is from the 2nd chapter entitled 'The Dam.Munir.Ana', circa 2004. I guess this verse is rather poignant. Certainly, when I wrote it I was undoubtedly in a grip of some painful yearning. It is an accepted work hazard. Soldiers fight. Singers sing. Poets? We just yearn.

.

But I guess the sadness was less gripping that I had anticipated. Now, 6 years have passed, and I am much happier I think. I am okay just to be a fisherman sitting by a tiny narrow streamlet. I am okay not to have seen yet the infinite Ocean of Love. I am okay just to sit by and record the passing of blessed souls as they sail pass. "Say hi to God!", I would often beseech them. I am thankful already, and that, my beloved friends, is quite enough of a personal achievement on this warm Wednesday evening here in Kuala Lumpur.

.

Now if you are gonna pass by my corner of the stream of love on your way to the Unseen Ocean, drop in. My pantry of wisdom is empty, but I make a mean cup of poetry.

.

Have a great day, sunshine.

.

Pax Taufiqa.

Of Spiritual Tsunami, Angels and Fatty Me

22. The Angels...My friends
O' Lord!
This one is too fat
to row the Endless Ocean of Mercy,
Sink him soon
And let him drown.

....................................................
Poem is circa March 2007 from the chapter entitled 'My Lord has Answered Me'

Fatness: Actually, I am fat. There is no two ways about it. I am not well-built or well-filled. I am not doughty or big-boned. I am a fatty. Anyhow, I stumbled across this diet plan called the Alternate Day Diet. I am gonna give it a try. Basically, you are suppose to eat normally (which I interprete to mean eating less than what I eat now) one day, and eat only 25% of your usual calory intake on the next day. This is suppose to be repeated until you have reached that svelte and sleek look which you crave since teens. Will it work? I don't know.

The Spiritual Tsunami: The Ocean/Sea is a common metaphor of God and His Infinite Compassion and Mercy. The disadvantage of an Ocean is that, while you can fish in it, play and swim in it, sail vast distances in it, the Ocean can also end your life. As a Sea of Love, it can be nurturing and gentle, but it can also rise up into a giant wave and drown you.

The Angel Friends: Oh, they are there alright. They were with you when you were born, and they will accompany you through out your life till finally you shake hands with Mr. Death himself, Azrail(a.s.). I cannot see them, but I can hear them passing witty remarks and quips behind my back. Well, 'witty' according to Angelic standards, which really, isn't funny at all.

Conclusion: Sink or swim in the Mercy Ocean, we are blessed. Should we really care whether we are sailing or drowning? I am okay either way. But my weight, now... that needs to be rectified!

Pax Taufica.

p/s Japanese Painting is 'The Great Wave of Kanagawa" by Katsushika Hokusai 1760-1849

An Ocean in the Infinitely Greater Sea

I am the soul,
I am the ocean,

Older than the blessed Angels am I,
And the life you live
Is but a passing second
Of my wave crashing upon
A mortal shore.

A little of my light is with you,
While I am an ocean, swimming like a drop
In the Infinitely Greater Sea,

Kissing the feet of Ahmad,
Prostrated as I am,
Before the Divine Throne.

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No.13 from the chapter entitled 'What is in your Basket?' Completed in 31st May 2005.

Endless Yearning for Endless Forgiveness

40. If
If I have been unkind,Forgive me,
If I was ungrateful, Forgive me,
If I was human and erred, Forgive me.

In the calumny of my ways
In the darkest of my days
If I have sought others,
Forgive me.

If I have not sought
Your forgiveness
Often enough,
Forgive me.

For I was created
To forget and to remember.

I was created
To lose and to find You.

I was created as a vessel
Of errors and misplaced passions,
And I would have long perished,
Had I not been sailing
The Ocean Of Your
Endless Mercy.
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From the chapter entitled "Keeping Count", October 2007

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I was a rotter last night. But this evening, I was forgiven. Not by God, but by my friend Heche. I am still a little groggy from the wine of forgiveness served to me, and am alas, not thinking too straight. Not that I famous for thinking straightfully.

I believe, that when you forgive someone, you are taking water from His Mercy Ocean. And I do think He wants you to take from his Mercy Ocean, again and again and again. As many times and as often as you can. So forgive. Forgive whomever and whatever. Forgive and complete this month beautifully.

So be like Heche and forgive, so that sinners like me will take some Mercy to quench our endless yearning for endless forgiveness.

Believe (or a Man on Fire)

If you are on fire, come swim in My Ocean,
If you cannot reach My Shore
Wait for My Rain Clouds,
If you are buried in soil
Wait for My River to cleft
Its way to you, My love.

I have not seen your record,
I have not read your report,
I am only looking at the Sun
Which is lighting the passages of your heart
And setting alight,
Your Book of Errors.

.

If you burn, do not be anxious,
If you hurt, do not think you are forgotten,
Have I not been your solace
Through all of your years?

You are My Gift,
A nanosecond of My Sublime Imagination
And wrought in My Mercy and My Love
For Muhammad.

Why despair?
Do you think I do not care?
My Love for you is the similitude
Of an infinite Seas of Love
Lapping upon your sorrowful shore,
Of an infinite horizon of white clouds
Waiting to rain on your barren soil.

.

.
Oh my servant!
Believe.

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No. 82 from a chapter entitled 'the Dam.SunSun.Ana'. Believe, and doubt no more. And if you are still unable to, at least remember that the Lord and His Beloved, certainly believes in you.