DON'T BLINK! ...passengers waiting at the terminal of life

Don't Blink!

Don't mind me,

I am just passing through,

Don't mind me,

I am just passing by,

Don't save a seat for me,

Don't sign that freehold,

I am not stopping here forever,

Nothing will stop us from 

Growing old,

For I am just passing through,

A traveler in my life's winter,

All dressed to face the cold,

Waiting to drink the bitter,

A traveler passing by,

Suddenly out of the door,

If you but blink an eye

Here, in my life's winter... 

So don't think. my child,

Love and do not blink.

..................... 

It is futile to seek permanence in this reality. For this world is in truth a departure terminal. Undoubtedly, it is a beautiful place to be, with all sorts of distractions on offer, but we cannot deny that upon the instance of our birth, we already have our boarding pass for that return flight to our Creator.

I guess the apparent regularity of death in my life, among my friends, family members and my masters,, has turned my mind towards the inevitable question  - I hope my destination at the end of that not-to-be-delayed flight will be the same.

For I love them so, and I miss them so. And with them is where I want to be. I figure that you too have witnessed the passing of your loved ones, sunshine. And perhaps like me, you also now tend to look at the wares and products on offer in the terminal of this life with less attention and passion. Not because we love life less, no, it is not that at all...

It is only because life has an end, do we realise how precious it is. 

Thus by the infinite, do we comprehend the value of the finite...

Don't you agree, sunshine?

wa min Allah at-taufiq

Hate has no place in Islam

Love will show the Way  

THE WINDOW DISPLAY OF THE SOUL... belief is not a destiny but a journey

The Window Display of the Soul

I am looking at myself,

Looking at the words

That I bedeck this almanac with,

Akin to a window-shop display

Of my thoughts that I found

Prose-like and pretty,

And I now wonder whether

These words truly

Represent me,

After some contemplation

The truth is deceptively easy,

That, no, these words are not me

But they are what I would like to be.

..........................

Salesmanship and self-delusion. We all have a certain level of salesmanship. I think it is inherent in most people, that we would like people to think of us in the best way possible. And indeed, it is true even for our own self knowledge.  We are our own shopkeeper, and we decorate the window-shop of our soul with pretensions of virtue, and we are also the customer of this products of self delusion. 

I am thinking of this because of the simple words; "I believe in God." And after some contemplation, I must admit that my level of belief in God rises and ebbs according to my tide of fortune. I would like to be constant and steady, but no. At an intellectual level, yes, but not on a moment-by-moment impassioned way, to live my life in the constant assurance of His existence and what He has promised humanity.  

Belief is not a destination but a journey. This in itself is not a bad thing, I guess. For I do believe that complete belief is reserved only for the Prophets of God, and the best and highest form of belief in God is in the conduct and manners of Muhammad Habibullah (saws), our most beloved and the last of the Prophets of God. So now, when I am thinking or talking, I am careful with the words, "I believe in God." Saying or thinking these words as honest as I can, and asking God to bring me closer to the completeness of belief, to the sweetest of His Truth, which is exemplified in the Prophet (saws). Phew... that is a big, cosmic level prayer. But even an infinite journey begins with a single step, yes?

Abang Shem. I would like to end this posting with a sad news of the passing of my beautiful cousin, Mohamed Zaid bin Zainal, known to me as Abang Shem. He passed away on Sunday morning. I will write of him when I am more calm and collected. May Allah (swt) accept him and bring him to the Divine Presence in the company of Nabi Muhammad (saws).

al fatiha

wa min Allah at-taufiq

Hate has no place in Islam

Love will show the Way

THE LONELY SHORE - of certainties and openness

The Lonely Shore

I am a lonely shore,
A sandy bank
By a deep, rich sea.
All manner of people walk on me,
Leaving their footprints
Coming out of the waves,
Their enduring wandering
Ending Hu knows where.

In the imprints in my heart
I can see their path
And the beliefs
They say they believe in.

But I cannot live
On another person's belief,
So I ask that God Almighty
Give me my own belief'
To believe in,

And not leave me
Forever a lonely shore,
A sandy bank
By a deep, rich sea.
......................

Keep it open. Do not close your heart, sunshine. Do not say or act, "Yup, I know it all. I don't need to know anymore. My mind and heart is made up..." For the simple truth is, truth is not as simple as that. And when you are seeking to be the dust beneath the feet of saints, or watchdogs at their door, you have to keep nimble and awake. Awake to challenges to your own certainty, awake to whatever God Almighty may arrange to come your way, "Hmm... let us see how Taufiq deals with THIS, that old Mr,Know-it-all,,,"

The firm toehold. But we must have some certain rock. An unchangeable principle, a toehold in our heart that we must protect, Perhaps, if you are a Muslim, it would be our declaration of faith (the syahadah) - I bear witness that there is no god but God, and Muhammad is the Messenger of God, These are the words that make life, truly worth living for. Indeed, in its words is the true flowering of humanity's potential and promise - and your own, whatever be your dream or talent.

Keeping the values. And the final point is this - may we never ever, in our efforts to keep to our syahadah, do or say or permit anything to happen that directly or, more often that not, indirectly destroy the very values and connection of the Divinity and our humanity that is part of our syahadah.

For in our lifetime alone we have seen enough blood, enough depravity, enough lies and hypocrisies, all done 'in the name of God'. Do you not agree, my love?

wa min Allah at-taufiq

Hate has no place in Islam

Love will show the Way

PINCHED AND SO CLOSE... and yet so far

All Pinched

The love of the Prophet is a garden in my heart. 

And it is so beautiful, so wondrous that at times 

I pinch myself that it is indeed here at all. 

By Allah the Generous, 

That is why you find me in this state... 

So bruised by so many pinching. 

So Close Yet So Far

I take these words and passing thoughts of you to present to you, o' Beloved,

But they are never enough. for I see and can barely comprehend 

Your beauty and magnificent mercy, 

Only for Allah to raise your noble station higher and more honoured. 

Yet you say you care for my soul far better than I myself?... 

By Allah the Tender, 

That makes me feel so close to you

And yet so far from you.

........................................

The worth of man or a woman is measured by how close he or she brings us nearer to you, o' Prophet, O' Most Beautiful Rose in Allah's Secret Garden of Roses, ya Muhammad the Veiled Moon shining upon the forest of incoherent reflection of your blessed eminence and light... so guide the guide to us, and leave us not to our own caprice!

wa min Allah at-taufiq

Notrumi Embun, 7th September 2014

Hate has no place in Islam

Love will show the Way

A BONFIRE OF WHITE FIRE

A Bonfire of White Fire

You are my wonder

You are my mystery

You are my forever

And I would lay waste

All my world for You

In a bonfire of white fire,

If it was Your pleasure,

You are my perfection

You are my redeemer

My Guide and my Master

And how I regret each breath

That I steal when of You

I fail to remember,

For it is theft that I commit,

It is a fraud that I abet,

It is a lie that I aid to fulfill,

The vainglory of my capricious will...

When oh Lord, oh Master,

I forget myself for even a moment.

By forgetting my God, Allah, and Muhammad, my Master,

........................

The seconds are endless... the days countless... the years, shamefully many in which I, your writer, has constantly failed to remember God Almighty, and His Habibullah, Nabi Muhammad (saws).

For I fear that for far too long, I, your sinner, was easily persuaded by the temporary distractions of this world, by the poison honey, the chemical happiness, the cheap tawdry gratification so well presented in the window shop of this reality. 

But not you, sunshine. You who are my betters, saw through the deception of this ego-world, and learned well the lessons. At the knees of the wise, you learned to discern the true sweetness of love, the honey of submission, the wine of exaltation in the praise of Allah swt and the wonder that is the Holy al-Quran and the sunnah (traditions) of His Beloved Muhammad (saws).

If you can spare a cup of knowledge, a drop of compassion, a hint of hope, pour your love in my direction, and keep me in your prayers, please. You may consider yourself ordinary, my readers. But I see you very differently. You are my hope for my humanity. So grip tight the robes of the saints and the saintly!  

wa min Allah at-taufiq

Notrumi Embun, 1st September 2014

Hate has no place in Islam

Love will show the Way   

MERDEKA POEM 2014 - Shed Me No Tear.

Shed Me No Tear

Don't mourn my passing,

Don't shed a tear,

What is death but

The end of my dying

As I change from one

Dress for another 

Infinitely better.

Don't mourn my passing

Don't shed a tear,

What is death but

The end of my living

As I trade this world

And all its baubles

For His Love undeniable

And for His Mercy incomparable.

So don't mourn my passing, my dear

And shed not a tear,

For I am coming to the Truth unveiled...

That there is no beginning, no passing,

No ending of anything for me,

That there is no there, no here

No distance to deceive me.

So you see,,,

Finally, when I have shed my veil,

Rejoice for me

And shed me no tear.

.................

Closure. Someone said something the other day. With the arrival of the deceased Malaysians who perished on board flight MH17, he observed kindly, "Perhaps the family will get some closure now."

Openings. When my mother died in 2002, and my brother on September 14th 2013, I wanted no closure. I wanted an opening. I do not want to be led into an enclosure of my memories of them. I wanted more, and unconsciously, I guess, I kept asking God for more.

I am fortunate that I am friends with those who feel the same way. After all, there is more than two billion Muslims who attend to their daily lives talking not only to God Almighty, but to His Beloved, Nabi Muhammad (saws) - a direct connection vouched by the Prophet Muhammad (saws) himself.

Twin Calamities. My country has faced twin calamities in the disappearance of MH370 and the downing of MH17 this year. But in such tragedies there are openings. For nothing happens without a reason, and it is my fervent hope that my couintrymen will show the world a response that is circumspect with understanding, wisdom and submission to His Will. 

We are a little minnow in God's ocean of nations. And in good and bad times, we turn to Him and seek the guidance of His Habibullah (saws) always. 

Our prayers this 57th Merdeka Day go to our founding fathers, both Muslims and non-Muslims alike, who have blessed our country with their courage and endurance, their love and compassion. 

wa min Allah at-taufiq

Notrumi Embun, 31st August 2014

Hate has no place in Islam

Love will show the Way

STUPIDITY TRAVELING AT THE SPEED OF LIGHT... and the few not joining the race.

You Are Never Alone

If you feel disconnected,

Underwhelmed by

The Consumer Society,

Don't worry,

For you are not alone...

If you feel sidelined,

For nobody's side

Appears appealing,

Don't fret about it,

For you are not alone...

If you ask yourself,

Why do I bother

To read the news

Or the walls on Facebook,

Don't be anxious

For you are not alone...

If you are in a group,

And all the chats revolve

Around insignificant things,

It is no course for concern,

For you are not alone...

You are never alone.

We are here with you.

................

Why am I here? I wonder sometimes. Why do I bother opening the newspaper in the morning. Why do I bother to read tweets and postings on Facebook walls. The amount of vitriol, sarcasm, cynicism, hubris, hate, envy, depression, misinformation, propaganda, under-researched conclusions, racism and bigotry, and just plain old simple imbecility is breath-taking.

Not all sharing is good. It is not that I think this generation is particularly more bad than the previous ones. But the instantaneous sharing (or crowing, is another word) of things online is just too easy. Here we are, sitting with our laptop or smartphones, and throwing our thoughts into the cyber world as if there is no one out there to judge what we write. But you are judged by your peers. All the time, 24/7. 

Online crows real life turtle doves. The funny thing is that when you personally meet some of these online crows, they turn out to be so much more nicer and sensible birds of an altogether different plumage. What is it about writing and sharing online which appears to bring out the bad in people?

Stupidity traveling at the speed of light. You know, there is no harm keeping some bad thoughts in us. For we are all generally normal human beings with normal bias and social conditioning which has made us less than perfect. Often, with the grace of God Almighty, we never actually get around to act out the bad deeds. And in the old days, where you would have to write a letter and post it to a newspaper or magazine and hope that the editor might choose your letter or opinion to publish, the chances of you actually permanently sharing your opinions are actually very, very small. Now though, every envy, every malice, every misinformation, every hubris and idiotic observations will have potentially millions of audience at the press of the button. The Disinformation and Corruption Superhighway we can call it. Hate and Stupidity racing across the globe at the speed of light.

Oh boy.

Doing good. But I am kept on the net because of a few. And these few shine like bright stars in an otherwise ocean of malice, hubris and foolishness. So thank you, sunshine... for without you, what little faith I have in humanity would long have ebbed with the rising tide of violence, corruption and exploitation that appears to be part and parcel of our daily life nowadays. 

They are not all Muslims, these few. But they are living their lives in worshipful praise of God with no agenda, no objectives and no particular aim save one... To do good. 

And to the good is to do God's work.

Don't you agree, sunshine? Auw... bless your heart.

wa min Allah at-taufiq

- Notrumi Embun, 17th August 2014

Hate has no place in Islam

Love will show the Way

THE SYARIA AND HUDUD, The Prose (Part 1)

The Syaria (The Journey, the Garden and the Fruit)

I saw a journey,

Where I saw you, and I saw myself,

And along the path there were

Beautiful places to rest,

Restful places to ponder God,

As Love, as Life, as the Sustainer

And the Only Nourisher,

I saw goodness and kindness,

Compassion for humanity,

For the birds and the animals,

For even the rocks and water

That filled the mountains and valleys,

And above us in the journey,

Is a constant sky of guiding stars,

As we discover along the many stations,

More and more knowledge of the universe,

But always, subservient in its synchronicity

With the Universal Truth of God...

Thou Most Beautiful, Most Lovely!

And the road on which the journey

Begins and ends...

It was known as the Syaria.

I saw a garden, a paradise,

Wonderous in its colours,

Glorious in its breadth,

As if the Creator Himself

Has taken the trouble 

To paint each petal of flower,

Each pebble in a glistening stream,

With His own beauty and wisdom,
Each creature and creation,
Competing in fierce rivalry,
To best praise God...
Thou Most Compassionate, Utmost in Mercy!

And around the garden stood fences,

White as light, bright as a thousand suns,

And the fences were also known

As the Syaria,

I saw in the blessed garden a fruit,

And the fruit was nourishing,

It was delightful and tasteful

Whatever your taste may be,

It was good for you,

And it was good for me,

The inside of the fruit changes in colour

According to your needs and fancy,

Its texture can be hard or soft,

And according to your need, crumbly or fleshy,
Nourishing you from the beginning to the end,
An assurance from garden of the Almighty...
Thou Most Companionable, Thou Best of Hosts,
Thou Friend of Friends!

And the protective skin of the fruit,
Keeping the flesh pure and pristine,
Shining in the garden like a beacon
Guiding our wavering, floundering conscience,

That too was known as the Syaria.

.................

This is a longish tale, so forgive the sinner if he spreads his wings over a couple of postings. But I think it is worthwhile expanding our contemplation a little... Hope you are all having an awesome Ramadan Kareem...

wa min Allah at-taufiq

-Notrumi Embun, 14th July 2014

Hate has no place in Islam
Love will show the Way

THE BOWYER... Mr.Moses and the hyperbolic sinner.

The Bowyer
The sinew in the bow
Is my sinew,
The skin on the bow
Is my skin,
The inner strength of the bow
Is my strength,
The draw of the bowstring
Is my effort,
The flight of the arrow
Is my prayers,
And wherever the arrow lands,
That is my destiny.

So if you wish to know the real me,
Find where my arrow lands,

And if you want to know the real you,
Find where your arrow lands...
.................

I dropped by dear old Moses's home yesterday morning. What was meant to be a short hi-bye ended up to a 2 hours visitation. We are fixing the grip back to my original 35lb bow, you see. I have done the preps, tearing away the decorative covering (which I kinda considered a little naff) and carving the rubber grip to make it smaller and more suitable for us Asians with our tiny hands. 

Unfortunately, I did not do a good job and Moses had to repair my repair work, carving away the entire side of the grip, and curving the edges to make it more ergonomic. He then measured a paper pattern for the grip and proceeded to cut a lovely black leather (medium soft). And this was the easy part.

Next came the actual chore of glueing and pressing (very very hard indeed) the leather unto the grip and bow, being careful not to leave any spare leather to bubble up. To do this he had to carefully remove any surplus as he turned the leather around the awkward shapes of the bow and the grip. 

If it sounds like hard work, it is. But if you are obsessed with doing a good job, and a stickler of getting things right, then it is just another day in Moses's House of Fine Leather. He he he.

And I don't want to get overboard with my hyperbole (well, I do actually... its my thing, you see), but while I was there in his ever-cluttered home, I felt privileged to witness  Moses's worshipful work. Although it was not the regular form of Muslim prayers, the giddy atoms in the living room was spinning with joy. And this only happens in state of worshipful devotion. 

As always, my friend offered me food (which I had to decline) and we chatted about the profound and the profane as he worked, while in the background, dzikr (remembrance of God) songs and mawluds (songs in salutations and praise of Nabi Muhammad s.a.w.) waft through the air like angelic pearls gliding in love and glory. Later, Mrs. Moses returned from exercising the horse, Samurai, and our little jemaah (assembly) was thus complete.

God bless you, sunshine. And may Allah (swt) forgive me for my awkward hyperboles. 

wa min Allah at-taufiq

Notrumi Embun, 20th June 2014

Hate has no place in Islam

Love will show the Way

HOW CAN A THOUGHT OWN THE THINKER? ... the Furious Question and the Furious Answer!

The Furious Question

How can the thought own the Thinker?

How can the prose own the Poet?

How can the painting own the Painter?

How can the created own the Creator?

How can the sunlight own the Sun?

How can the many own the One?

...............

People never say they own God. It is after all, heretical and (even worse), ill-mannered. But by their words and actions, and all those unnecessary comments and postings in the social media, they appear to have made up their mind that God is theirs alone, and those who think and abide to a religious code that is the same with theirs. Our hypocrisy is breath-taking.

But a thought can possess a thinker, actually - this occurs when you forget that you are owned by God, and not the other way around. Then easily, your thoughts of religious piety, spiritual authority and divine knowledge POSSESSES you, turning love into pretensions, turning faith into a dress that you can put on and take off according to your whim. And of course, it turns your knowledge into blind hubris. This is worse than any demonic possession. Because this 'evil' is subtle and cunning, hiding behind your best and noble intentions... Seek help, o' saints and sinners! Seek shelter in God Almighty o' mankind, whether you are clothed as a Jew, a Christian, a Buddhist, a Muslim, an Agnostic, a Trekkie, an Atheist or just another poor dumb schmuck like me!

But dumb or not, I was given the answer to The Furious Question...

The Furious Answer

I am a passing thought in the mind of the Thinker,

I am a prose written by the Poet,

I am the painting painted by the Painter,

I am created by the Creator,

I am a light from the Sun,

One of many, from the Only Real One!

I am the question asked by the Questioner,

Thus, I am the answer given by the Answerer!

wa min Allah at-taufiq

- Notrumi Embun, 18th June 2014

Hate has no place in Islam

Love will show the Way

THE FIRST STRUGGLE ... illusion and the self-delusion of humble glory

The Greater Struggle

Every breath is a struggle,

Every blink of your eye,

Every thought that passes

Through your mind,

Every passion stirs

In your heart.

Do you need for arms,

Armours and wages of war

Before your struggle starts?

....................

Muslims often say, "Jihad is not just war. The Jihad ul-Akbar (the Greater Struggle) is the personal struggle against our own ego and nafs (base desires)." Yeah... we say a lot of stuff. But we don't actually mean it, for time and time again, I observe than we are often overwrought and impressed by military history, weapons of destruction and violent sentiments. Of course we couch it in the name of God and His Beloved Muhammad (saws). 

So I say now that...

The First Struggle

The first struggle for you

Is to overcome your self-delusion

That you truly understand 

What is the Greater Struggle,

And for you to mind your manners with

The ant under your feet,

The woman that you claim to love,

The air that you breathe but do not own,

The God that you claim to worship but Whom you keep distant

And the Prophet that you claim to love but do not follow.

.................

I read someone who decries why Muslims are not "jihad-ing" like how we used to in the past. The struggle, right from the moment of the prophet of Muhammad Habibullah (saws) continues. Look with your heart and see our struggle! Not one moment passes that we are not walking upon the path between right and wrong!

Mika completed his first khatam quran yesterday at his mummy's house.
And it was a struggle. How beautiful it was
because it was indeed a struggle!

wa min Allah at-taufiq.

- Notrumi Embun, 28th May 2014

Hate has no place in Islam

Love will show the Way

THE ENEMY, THE DOG, THE PIG AND THE RELIGION ... ending the illusion of 'religion'

What is Religion?

Things took a turn for the bad

When the Muslims took what they had,

The faith and the way that Muhammad brought,

And shoehorned Islam into their limited conception of

Religion and God.

..................

Think about it, sunshine. There is no comparable religious study program of Islam and any other religion. For the truth is Islam encompasses everything. It is the tea that you drink, the charity that you do, the sin that you commit, the trust that you keep, the friendship that you have betrayed, the life that you live, and the love that you have faithfully kept or lost. For God has said that He knows your all, your past and future deeds, your black and white and grey. Islam of the Prophet Muhammad (saws) is a key to the infinite, and as such cannot be judged in finite empirical methods. 

Often, we repeat similar sentiments when we say, "Oh... Islam is not merely a religion. It is our way of life!". But the truth is we are merely parroting some preacher man. For in our conduct, in our prejudices and delusions of humility and obedience, we have still far, far, far to go in understanding and keeping to the Islam and Sunnah (traditions) of Nabi Muhammad (saws). Sad that many of us still cling to the intoxication that we somehow deserve Islam and the Prophet of Islam - that we have better rights than the pig in the sty, than the dog in the gutter... may Allah (swt) save us from this foolish 'piety'!

The Islamic Pig

You have not completed your faith 

Until you can look at the lowly dog, 

The dirty, stinky pig, 

The Devil and your worst enemy,

And perceive the Islam

In their action and purpose

Of their creation.

..................

Dwell on this, my love. For one day, you may find me reprehensible, a liar and a wretched fool. And I hope that on that day, you will still perceive the Islam in me.

Have a hopeful beautiful Sunday.

wa min Allah at-taufiq

- Notrumi Embun, 25th May 2014.

Hate has no place in Islam

Love will show the Way

THE OWNER OF GODLY GRACE - and the passing of a good servant

The Owner of the Godly Grace

I know there is a life after death,

Because our conversation has not ended,

Day in and day out, it is still the same,

I know there is love after death,

Because I can feel you looking to me,

Day in and day out, it is still the same,

I know there is a Prophethood after death,

Day in and day out, it is still the same,
This has been the Mawlana's constant refrain to me, 

I know there is a God after death,

For this true love cannot be contained in one short life,

Day in and day out, eternity rolls out,

And you are still the same to me,

Only that you look much, much better

And wherever you may be, it is a good place to be.

How I wish I will be there with you

When the Owner of Godly Grace

Sends His invitation,

To your side

Be my

Place.

.................

On 7th of May 2014, as I was driving home from work, I received a WhatsApp message from my friend, Sheik Munim Bajrai. Although always praying for the best, I would lie if I said I did not anticipate the possibility. After all, Mawlana Shaykh Nazim was 92 years old, and has been in the ICU for ten days.

This would be a good place to explain who and what the Mawlana was and is. But where do I begin? For I am pretty sure I don't know him enough to say what ought to be said, nor describe what is often times, an indescribable feeling when you are drawn to his presence, whether physically or otherwise.

If you think I am confounded because to talk of the Mawlana is to enter some existentialist transcendental discourse about cosmic consciousness, then may I be permitted to correct you.

All that the Mawlana has ever showed to me and his many followers was love. Love, kindness, mercy and a guidance towards the best master of such love, kindness, mercy and guidance - that being the Seal of the Prophets, Sayyidina Muhammad (saws). And through the miraculous love and obedience of the Prophet (saws), towards the Endless Oceans of Mercy of Allah (swt).

Mawlana's teaching has not ended. Nor his loving concern for his naughty, mischievous mureeds (students). Death, just like when we were born from the womb of our beloved mother, is only the beginning...

And in particular, I came from the womb of this woman, my late mother.
And just as it happens, today marks the 12th year of her passing.
al fatiha...

And thank God, it is!

wa min Allah at-taufiq

- Notrumi , 20th  May 2014.

Hate has no place in Islam

Love will show the Way