LOVE IS BEST WHEN SHARED - you and the bird in the Conference of the Birds

All Birds Will One Day Fly Away

A little bird perched on my shoulder,

And he told me of things I never knew,

Of words and music, of knowledge and beauty,

And he said, "This is the world God has created for you."

As  I grew, from child to teenage turmoil,

Then to manhood and fatherhood,

I grew larger and larger,

And the little bird

Grew smaller

And smaller.

Until one day, the little bird said,

"What I had to share with you I have done so,

So now you must learn to carry on...

And to let me go."

..........................

Like a Bird. Don't get too attached to the birds that, for a brief while, accompany you in your life, sunshine. For as Nelly Furtado lyrically says... "I am like a bird, I will only fly away, I don't know where my soul is, I don't know where my home is." They cannot remain perched on your shoulder forever, not when the siren call of the Divine Presence resonates within them daily. And with each beat of their mortal heart the song becomes more urgent, ever more arresting. Until one day, the bird can't stand it any longer, and finally surrenders to the eternal song of the Lord, to close their eyes forever and to fly to Allah (swt).

The bird in the poem is in reference to my late brother, Saiful a.k.a. Poone. But we are all birds. And as a bird, we must always remind the person that we are with, of our own mortality. "I love you...", we might say to our beloved, but add this necessary truth, "But Allah (swt) and the Prophet Muhammad (saws) loves you best of all. I will one day die. But the Love of Allah and Habibullah will always remain your faithful companion. If I were to suddenly go tomorrow, do remember me in your prayers. But never forget God Almighty and your Master Muhammad Sayyidina Mutahharul Janan (saws), through whom you may love me forever!"

Love is Best When Shared, don't you agree, sunshine? And it is best when it is eternal. Our mortality? Mortality is only a technical issue to be sorted out as we walk along this path of love.

So don't worry. Be happy. Remember.

wa min Allah at-taufiq

footnote: 
Sketch by Amir Adam Mohd Zahurein

Hate has no place in Islam

Love will show the Way

DEATH AND THE DIVINE INTERCESSIONS - karma, trees and this wonderous kaleidoscope of creation...

Death and Divine Intercession

Death is not a veil,

Life is,

And to pass away is

To lift the veil for that

Long-awaited union with

God the All-Beautiful and

Most Desirable above all,

Winning through with the intercessions 

Of Muhammad Habibullah,

The most cherished hope glittering

In the crown of hopes bestowed by God

To humanity, God's Own anointed

Mercy to all the worlds...

......................

There is no better way. No more fitting manner by which we can live this life - with the unbelievable varieties of plants, animals and living beings, all forms of tests, trials and tribulations, an infinite scope of happiness, joy and unadulterated rapture, with all of the vast expanse of humanity, friends, families, peers and lovers... There is no better way to journey through this kaleidoscope of creation, than by preparing oneself for the lifting of the veil that Man calls death.

Hidden in a prophetic quote (that I have used before) is the explanation to this preparatory and transient nature of this world, for God's Beloved, Muhammad (s.a.w.s) once shared that...

"There are no trees in heaven. You must plant them yourselves..."

So may God bless all gardeners, farmers and greenthumbs.

My late mother loved gardening. On the 10th anniversary of her
lifting of the veil last year, we arranged this ornamental water-pail
with bright yellow roses to decorate her maqam.
al fatiha

Have a perfectly nice day, sunshine.

wa min Allah at-taufiq

Hate has no place in Islam

Love will show the Way

The Most Impertinent Gift of All - life, love, children and the Prophet Muhammad (s.a.w.s.)

1.      A Clear blue sky, Qasidah Burdah!

I am standing beneath

A clear blue sky,

As the night clouds part

To reveal stars that twinkle

And wink at me,

Trying to winkle from me

A little sigh, a little tear,

A little chuckle,

As I, Taufiq,

Take delight in God’s apparentness,

In the burning fire of stars countless

Light years away from me,

And in the delight of God’s covertness,

In the burning heart of the Prophet’s Companions

So near to me, that I can feel

Their breath upon my cheek,

Their hand upon my hand,

And they are saying,

“O’ Taufiq! What do you desire?”

And I am replying now,

“O’ Stars of my Twilight Sky,

It is your Master that I covet!

.................................

Really I do declare that I am the most greedy person I know. Not happy enough with the delights of this world and the birth of my son some 8 years ago, I still want more. I want the Prophet Muhammad (s.a.w.s.), of all the most impertinent desires that mortal men can hide in the folds of their hearts. 

But the point about divine gifts is that it comes with a qualification, for each thing which we receive, whether it is money and wealth, breath and health, land and friends, has a flip side. With great gifts come great responsibility - For what are we spending our money on? With each breath are we making this world better or worse? If we have health, what are doing with our bodies? And what are we allowing to be built on our lands? And do we take care of our friends, or do we neglect them?

And when it comes to the gift of children, come on... let's face it. We have never been properly trained and educated to fulfill our responsibilities towards them. For Muslims, they would therefore ask for the most impertinent divine gift to help them manage their responsibilities in this life, and that boon is the gift of access and intimacy with the best guide to all Mankind - God's anointed Mercy to the world(s), the Prophet Muhammad (s.a.w.s.).

Of course, he has passed away a long, long time ago. But if you really wanna know, the nature of death and the reality of the after life makes this a wholly technical issue which can be dealt with easily...

Attending to the Prophet(s.a.w.s.)

Attend to the Prophet

And the Prophet will attend to you

Direct your attention to the Prophet

And the Prophet will direct his attention to you

Listen to the Prophet, for he is already speaking to you,

Turn to the Prophet, for he is already gazing to you,

From a place far,  far away

But very, very near.

.........................

wa min Allah at-taufiq

Hate has no place in Islam

Love will show the Way

Transfixed by a Vision of Hu - preparing for the inevitable meeting, and how you (yes, you!) are involved.

Transfixed by a Vision of Hu

My spirit is transfixed by you, o’ Vision

Your far-off lighthouse shining like a beacon

For my soul ship adrift far from home

That is by Your side and in Your presence!

My spirit is mystified and besotted by you, o’ Vision

Your love gently washing upon my shore

Like some Heavenly tide raised by

The Full Moon of Muhammad!

Lo, if I could come closer to You!

Lo, if I could fly to You so that neither

Would my head touch the sky

Nor my feet touch the earth!

Then would I know defeat -

Vanquished and consumed,

To cease thinking and being,

To cease being born of

Some fair maiden birth!

…………………..

I am glad I am a confounded sinner. A do-little-good and do-much-bad kinda fella. So people generally don't expect too much of me. Thus, I don't hold it against God Almighty if He (in His Infinite wisdom) also feels the same way. In my Heavenly High School yearbook, I am unlikely to be voted by anyone as The-Soul-Most-Likely-To-Save-The-World. I think God and the Prophet would be well pleased if I am able to save just myself.

But then again, how can I even vouch for myself? I cannot nor do I want to. Coming into my 42nd year of living on this PlanetMTV, I am fairly certain that when the day comes and my deeds are weighed on the holy Mizan (Divine Scale), I will be needing some SERIOUS Divine intervention and mercy...

So I am asking God right now for His Mercy and the Prophet Muhammad(pbuh) for his intercession on my behalf, so that there would not be any nasty surprises for me when the time comes when I need help. So no holy excuses like 'there is an awfully long queue for mercy here...' or 'well, our mercy quota is kinda full right now... please try again next time. Oh wait, sorry. there will be no next time...'

So thank you kindly, sunshine, for coming in today. Honest, I am extraordinarily thankful... because when that not-to-be-delayed time comes and Taufiq will be sweating for fear of all his past wickedness coming to roost, I will have to call on you to bear witness that on this day, 17th of July 2012, I wrote this posting asking God for His Everlasting Forgiveness and the Prophet(pbuh) for his prophetic intercessions as God's Own Mercy to the Worlds.

I know you are a generous person and possessing a kindly soul. Just the sort of person that God loves. So your words and testimony to mitigate my malfeasance will go a long way to square me with God... And if you think otherwise, if you think that God shan't care for what you will say... then let me share with you my view - from where I am looking, you are a shining star... and our Most Loving God, is in truth, the Most Attentive to His creation, however high and noble, however low and miserable.

wa min Allah at-taufiq

Hate has no place in Islam

Love will show the Way

Map of the Hidden Saints and Devils

Map of the Hidden Saints and Devils

In the worst country,

And in the worst region of that country,

And in the worst city of that region,

And in the worst neighbourhood of that city

You will find a great Saint of God,

In the best country,

And in the best region of that country,

And in the best city of that region,

And in the best neighbourhood of that city

You will find a great minion of the Devil.

....................

The Balance.

The eternal balance of the cosmos, as depicted by the Chinese symbol of ying-yang, and by the Hindu contemplative churning of the Milk Ocean is forever depicted by two opposing halves of reality, the good and the bad - the truthful and saintly in a protracted and continuing cosmic struggle against the deceitful and villainous.

The Light and the Shadow.

So aspirants of the spiritual path, in whatever religion, have often been warned - near the holiest and most saintly of teachers, evil treads not more than seven paces behind the good man. And it is also true for the worst and despicable creatures amongst men, for not more than seven paces behind him walks a saint of God, whether in spirit or physically there, to balance the cosmic scale of good and evil.

Holy Mecca.

These dual scenario is played out again and again in the holiest sites of religion all over the world. And no place is an exception. As one Sufi Grand Shaykh once noted, "The Devil can and does come before the Holy Kaaba in the holy city of Mecca itself, a malevolent spirit hiding amidst the faithful thousands who come to Mecca to worship God."

Saintly Mission.

The role of saints are to attend to sinners, and to hold spiritual clinics for the spiritually needy. Sometimes this happens in homes, mosques, temples and churches. But often, the spiritually needy are not there, and the saints would then need to go down to the ground to help those whose lives are blighted by oppression of the human ego, whether it is their own ego, or the rampant egos of other human beings. This tend to happen quietly and the agenda is hidden. Ordinary folks would then, uninformed as to the true nature of the Saint's mission, judge the Saint by his action - Look, he associates with drug-dealers and gang members! Look, he is at a club and spending time with bankers and politicians! Oh, how scandalous! Thus some people inadvertently commit slander because they forget an important Sufi adage -

A place, any place, is honoured and blessed 

by the presence of an honoured and blessed Awliya Allah (Friend of God).

Looking for a Saint. So if you are the sort desiring the attention of a saint, really, they are everywhere. There is probably one in your neighbourhood or city. The degree and extent of their authority and scope of influence varies according to the role that they will play in God's plan for you. Some saints may only have a temporary role, guiding you to one maqam (spiritual station) only for another senior saint to take you on. And there are those saints who will be the main pillar of your entire life. In any event they all report along their own chain of silsilah (chain of spiritual and temporal authority between Saints) that go generations back to either two of the Companions of the Prophet(pbuh), Saidina Ali or Saidina Abu Bakar, and of course ultimately to Saidina Muhammad, the Prophet of God(pbuh). It is accepted knowledge that ALL Sufi orders originates from Saidina Ali, save for one that comes through Saidina Abu Bakar.

Just Ask. And how do you find the Saint intended for you? You need only ask in your heart and you will be answered. That is the key to reading the map to the Hidden Saints. And funnily enough, it will also be the key to open the map to the Hidden Devil. But even this bad fellow will be as to nothing when compared to the rampant ego that mankind often hides in their thoughts and actions. And that is why, some people are driven unto the spiritual path. To seek the help of a Saint to tame and subdue their ego to the Grace of God manifested in the infinite merciful reflections of Muhammad Habibullah (pbuh).

Right, that's about enough, sunshine. I hope there is something useful for someone in this extended bla-bla-bla. I just enjoy the writing. Hehehe.

wa min Allah at-taufiq

Hate has no place in Islam

Love will show the Way

Happiness is a reflection away, and nearer to you than your jugular - Prose of Ramadhan Part 60

The Clown, the Prophet and the Celestial Pool

(Ramadhan Verses 33)

I was alone,

Adrift in the sky,

Then in my teary clown’s eye

I saw the Pool.

I came unto the Pool,

Or perhaps the Pool

Came unto me, whatever…

I cannot really remember.

But in a moment,

I was looking into

The water.

I saw a reflection of myself

And I felt sad and alone.

I closed my eyes,

Refusing to accept

The truth of my own solitude.

Then I opened my eyes,

And I beheld in the still water of the Pool,

The sight of my Prophet,

And he was smiling at me

And through the depth of time,

I heard these words,

“How can I forget you, Clown…

For you are mine…”

Without realizing it,

My hand on is own accord

Tried to touch the image

And my finger lingered

Upon the surface of the water,

Causing a ripple,

The ripple soon subsided

But by then my Prophet’s face

Also disappeared.

Leaving me once again,

Looking at my own reflection

In the still water of the Pool.

But this time,

My reflection is smiling back at me.

A Pebble, a Cloud, a Drop of Water, a Radio Wave... a Sin - Prose of Ramadhan Part 50

5. I am a sin

I am a pebble,

In a river named Muhammad.

I am a cloud,

In a firmament named Muhammad.

I am a drop of water,

In the ocean of Muhammad.

I am a radio wave,

Emanating from an antenna named Muhammad,

I am a sin,

Within the authority of the Arch-intercessor

Who would plead to His Lord,

Most Earnest In Compassion,

Most Renowned in Mercy,

To look upon me,

A little pebble,

And forgive me.

It is part of Muslim lore that of all the intercessors, it is Muhammad who shall be the leading voice amongst all prophets in interceding and pleading in the Divine Presence for the forgiveness of humanity. As a sinner, this is therefore an important matter to consider.

But being the Arch-intercessor is just one of many aspects of the Prophet. He is also the first in creation through the Nur of Muhammad, before even Adam. Indeed, when Adam was only but a rumour, Azazil the Arch-djinn, more renowned than the angels (back then before he conspired against Adam and Eve and became the Devil) was already aware of the Nur and Station of Muhammad. Muhammad is the glorious mirror of creation, the mercy to all the world(s), and the Abu Arwah (Father of Souls). But above all, he is lovely to me.

He is beautiful to me because in the Prophet's history is a dream of a beautiful past that never happened to me, and in his future is a rumour of a magnificent promise that I can never fulfill. Every time I speak his name and write his attributes, in truth I am dishonouring a name and attributes that is beyond my pale to dwell upon. I am a sinner, you see. What concern have I in the elevated existence of Muhammad Habibullah?

But a sinner's bewildering infatuation for Muhammad of Mecca & Medina can be traced back to the night of ascension, when Muhammad, troubled by enemies and difficulties were invited by Gabriel, upon divine instructions, to ascend to heaven. And if you recall my earlier posting, in one of the Discourses of God, it was God Himself who said to Muhammad - I have created for you, o' Muhammad, a nation of sinners who will not stop sinning so long as they breath. But for you, because they are to be your nation, I have already forgiven them before I even created them...

Have a lovely Friday, sunshine.

Pax Taufiqa.

Footnote: I know I was suppose to post The Sinners' Guide to Buttering up God now, but it is not complete yet. A thousand apologies, sahib and memsahib.

If you are a stranger... Rejoice! - Prose of Ramadhan Part 24

Longhair shared this little prophetic nugget with me. “In the beginning,” The Prophet said, “Islam came amongst you as a stranger and (before the end) Islam shall once again become a stranger, so those of you who are strangers, rejoice!” My Prophet rested this words of encouragement upon the mantle of the wise, and they have stood by their trust and servanthood to pass on his words to you, sunshine –

O' Stranger, welcome and rejoice! (Ramadhan Verses #13)

If you are saddened by

The state of your brethren,

Do not despair.

If you are burdened

By the knowledge of truths,

Do not give up.

If you look around,

And see people wear hubris, hate and fear

As their skullcap, ignorance as their beard

And insecurities as their perfume,

Do not be swayed.

If you feel alone

In a world consumed by hate

Fear nothing.

For though they look at you

As a stranger,

You are not a stranger

To me.

And even as your path

Runs further from the normality

That has become the daily bread

Of the many,

Rejoice! For you

Are exceedingly beautiful

To me.

For you are in the keeping

Of my words, and my love.

And am I not the Most Beloved of God?

So be as you are meant to be,

As the best that you are intended to be.

Do not change your colours,

Do not change the music.

Do not follow the others

Simply for the sake of following.

Do not raise banners different from

What I have planted in your heart -

The Many Banners of Love, Mercy and Compassion

Of Muhammad and his Nation.

“Who is this Muhammad?” Muslims shall ask of you.

“Who is this Lord that you are describing?” They shall inquire of you.

Such is the divide between form and substance,

Between the apparent and the hidden.

Say something or keep silent,

It is all up to you.

Either way, you are mine,

My Brethren.

I open the newspapers. I read the blogs and news sites. I hear politicians and preachers talk on the soapbox of the television. And again and again, I feel lonely, a stranger in a strange land. Do you feel the same way? Are they mad or is it we who are actually barking mad? 

So it is with great relief that I heard the words of the Prophet, as told to me recently. Take succour, my friends, when you are in a crowd of angry believers. When you see the ignorant camp on the public forum. When thousands fight and die, thinking it is real faith that they are struggling for, when in truth, it is the despicable religion of hubris that they extol, though they shout the same words that we, in our intimacies with the Lord, whisper with awe and deference. 

You are not alone. For Muhammad certainly remembers and recalls you, a man/woman of good conscience. A follower in the spiritual path of  love and sublime manners.

Salam, sunshine.

Pax Taufiqa.

Muhammad the River - When flesh is pressed upon flesh, what vain secret is there left to hide?

26. Dam II
Muhammad is the River
And to the Ocean he will bring us.

The position of Muhammad Most Beloved is one that will change depending upon who is looking at him. But the above prose (circa 2004) is a simple description and one that few Muslims would argue with.

11. Dam I
If some people had their way
We would be on our hands and knees
Looking for stones to throw.
They would divert Allah’s Mercy
So that to the Ocean
No river shall forevermore flow.

The prose 'Dam I' is however a defense of the furthest and most delicate interpretation of 'Dam II' of which I leave to your wisdom to ponder upon. And as they say that offence is the best form of defense, the poem is questioning certain segments of society which desires for the Prophet of God to be dead, and remain certainly dead. For Muhammad, Mercy to the Worlds to be relegated into the role of a postman of the Holy Scriptures, who came, brought a book called the Holy Quran and left us to our own devices. And such people tend to love throwing accusations of innovation and heresy at the Sufis, while their grasp of the fundamental history of Islam itself is at best tenuous and at worst misconceived.

The Sufis tell me that they are not asking for anything but Mercy from the Infinite Ocean of Love, which is the domain of God Most Compassionate, Most Merciful. I have no quarrels with them. May God, Magnificent Creator of Knowledge, Intimacy and Discretion guide their sweet wandering hearts closer and closer to Him and His Prophet. And may the Prophet, through his Companions and Saints spark the love of Love, and the truth of Truth in the hearts of all human beings, whatever hat they may be wearing, and in whatever temple they may be praying in. For even if any fool were to prejudge you by the books that you read, or the thoughts that you entertain, no one can take away the truth that within us, in the antechamber of our most private courtyard of love that men often call the Heart, lies the Throne of the Lord.

Let the drifting ones talk of theology. We are talking of intimacy. When flesh is pressed upon flesh, what vain secret is there left to hide, my friends?

Pax Taufiqa.

Death and the Divine Presence, and Ode to Nakesh and Cathleen

CIRRHOSIS. In 1985 I was a Form 3 student in Victoria Institution, Kuala Lumpur. That same year I learned the word ‘Cirrhosis’. Classroom gossip revealed that my friend Nakesh Singh was suffering from the disease of the liver. I blinked and just nodded numbly hearing that word. Nakesh has been missing classes, I know. First for a couple of days, then the days turned into weeks. But frankly, at 15 years old, we felt that we were invincible, the world is there to be conquered and death is something that happened to other people, and other people’s friend.

NAKESH, CHICKEN-STEALER (1970 – 1986). Nakesh was a popular classmate. He had a quirky sense of humour, and being the only Punjabi boy in class, he stood out with his sharp features, curly hair and height. Together with Rizal Shuaib, they were the tallest boys in class 3A1. It is also inevitable I guess that with the name Nakesh, he was also called ‘Naked Singh’ by our classmates. Oh, the wit.

Whenever we had P.E. (physical education), we always played football (soccer). Nakesh was what we called a “Curi-Ayam” (chicken-stealer). He would inevitably park himself near the goalpost of the rival team, waiting to score easy goals (I guess the phrase arose on the belief that it is easy to steal chicken, I have not tried it myself, so I cannot confirm this urban myth). Curi-Ayam is actually against the soccer rulebook, but we were young, healthy and we didn’t care.

BETTER FRIEND. I was not close to him initially (I thought he was a little irritating), but in Form 3 we somehow became better friends. I don’t know why, but I guess I figured out that beneath his strange wit and chicken-stealing escapades hides a boy of sensitive and kind decency. I liked him. That year I won the ‘Karya Islam’ competition (Islamic Essay) and in my absence during the prize-giving it was Nakesh who claimed the prize on my behalf, in front of the entire school.

OPEN DAY AND DEATH. The last project I had together with Nakesh was the school’s open day in 1986. The funfair games which we organized were a roaring success and the class mafia actually made money. Monetary success however preceded shock because a couple of days later, my class teacher made a special announcement – that my friend, Nakesh ‘Naked’ Singh, at the age of 16, has passed away.

CATHLEEN (1985 – 2011). I write this today because my friend, Zulfikar, recently lost a beautiful friend, Cathleen, who passed away in her sleep at the young age of 26. And in his Facebook, he asked that I write about death. Well, I don’t know anything about death. I have not experienced dying personally. So whatever I say here is based upon hearsay and indirect evidence…
.

152. The Gifts
The Gift is yours for the asking.
The Gift before the Gift is in you asking.
The Gift before the Gift before the Gift is in the Cause that impelled you to ask.
The First Gift is in your first breath
The Last Gift is in your death.
And the Gift after the Last Gift?
Ho! Only Allah Knows Best.

.

FOR THOSE WHO HAVE PASSED ON… Death is a gift, because after years of living and being separated from the Divine Presence, you are finally brought back to your Maker. Long did your God pine and yearn for your return, so do not feel too sad for those you have left behind on this Blessed Earth. You have fought the good fight already, and you have lived your life with love, compassion and honour. Those who still live will remember your face, your kindness and humour with a glow in their hearts. You, who have passed away - my mum, my aunties and uncles, my nephews and cousins, Nakesh and Cathleen, you have left behind beautiful memories in our hearts. You have helped sanctify the inner sanctum of our soul so that God and His Prophet may dwell therein. By your life and your passing, you have made us all better human beings. We thank you for all that you have shared with us.

FOR THOSE WHO ARE STILL ALIVE… I don’t know where my dearly departeds actually are. Maybe they are in the 1st Heaven? Or maybe the 7th Heaven? Perhaps having picnic under the Lote Tree, or just amusing themselves reading the Secret Tablet? But this belief I hold firm to – Wherever God is, the Prophets and Saints are there. And where they are, my mother would be there too. And with her, would be Nakesh and Cathleen. Now it is only for me, this foolish sinner, to live life well and decent, so that I, however unworthy, am allowed to approach their blessed company. If permitted, I will play soccer with Nakesh against the Angels Super-11, and for old-time’s sake he can steal as many chicken as he wants.

IN THE NAME OF DEATH. My dear friends, we who will one day taste death, we are all the same, you and I. I ask you now in the name of Death who is my Kinsman… really, how can we not be brothers and sisters too?

70. Death, my Kinsman
O’ Death!
Come to me gently in the Reality
Of what you are and who I am,
Come to me unmasked
And I shall wait for you unmasked,
Cast aside that face you wear
And I shall cast aside this face I wear,
For if ALLAH has in Truth, created,
He has created only Muhammad,
And in one body,
Can there beat more than one heart?

Have a wonderful Friday, sunshine.

Pax Taufiqa.

.

Related Posting - New Year's Day with Mikhail and my Mum

Cemetery Pic is from Balqies Arafia's blog.

Saturday Cheer and Sunday Slaughter ( The Lunatics Strike Again)

SATURDAY CHEER. On Saturday the sinner was in good cheer and love for all mankind. Belatedly, he replied a New Year’s greeting from a friend, Major (r) Chan with the following missive…

.

“Happy new year, major chan! U n I, we r soldiers of love, truth is our defence n mercy is our shield. We seek shelter in d Lord n His Blessings in our charity n hard work! May Christ rain showers of grace unto u n yr family. Amen wasalam.”

Immediately upon receipt of the message, the man called me, giving thanks for my greetings and saying how liberal and progressive I appear to be. The good Major said that this was the first time he had a message mentioning the Lord’s name from a Muslim. I replied, “Major, this is what my religion teaches me.”

SUNDAY SLAUGHTER. Then early Sunday morning as I was reading the newspaper I came across this news. Oh, boy, did it spoil my breakfast…

.

What do I say now to Major Chan? I am sickened by the news as if it happened to churchgoers in my own neighbourhood. It is sick, sick, sick. The men who planned this terrible violence, the men who actually perpetrated the crime are all sick - diseased in the head and empty in the heart.

NO GREY AREA. As an abject sinner, I often talk about the grey area that most men find themselves in. That huge plain of doubt where right and wrong, black and white mixes. Well, what happened in Egypt, this church bombing, falls so far in the wrong, that it cannot be accommodated by any sane human being. Whether it is in Rwanda, Palestine, London, Madrid, Chechnya or Kosovo, any act of violence against innocent civilians are absolutely unacceptable. They say they are ‘fighting’ for their race and religion. They say they are ‘fighting’ for their sovereign right as a nation. They are not fighting. They are murdering, on a scale that would draw smiles of approval from Hitler and Stalin. These men, whether they profess to be Jewish, Christians, Hindus, Sikhs or Muslims, are all sick, sick, sick men. They are bandits with guns and bombs. They fall outside the forum of civilized discourse, and each atrocity that they commit, so called in the name of their God, Country or Race… is an affront and an insult on that which they claim to hold dear…

Who is this God?
This God you seek is not the God that I seek,
I seek the Merciful One at His Mercy Door,
Those tears you weep are not the tears I weep,
May you never find this god
That you are foolishly looking for.

FUCK IT. Some people may say, “Oh, no, Taufiq, you don’t know what is going on in Egypt with the Coptic Christians.” My answer is concise and easily comprehensible – “Fuck it. That is all appeasement bullshit.”
.

LIBERAL AND PROGRESSIVE? NO, JUST MUSLIMS. We are the ones picking up the pieces of our faith, while these mad mullahs and ill-advised young men carry on with their insane crusade against the ‘infidels’, allegedly in the name of God and the Prophet. We are the ones having to explain to the Major Chans of this world that Islam is about peace, tolerance and love. We are the ones having to explain that we are liberal and progressive because we are Muslims, not in spite of us being Muslims.

NOT JIHAD. The line is drawn in the sand. I am a sinner, but at least I know not to drag God into some egoistic malevolence that these men call ‘Jihad’. This is not Jihad. This is cruelty. And as I once said before, if the Caliphate was still around, these terrorist groups would be hunted down, tried and sentenced as the heartless bandits that they truly are.

LOGIC AND A HAPPY MUSLIM. I am writing as a happy and proud follower of the Prophet. I am not a good follower but I at least am not a prone to blow myself or anyone else to Kingdome Come. – such atrocities are acts of desperation founded upon despair, and no true believer despairs of anything. How can we, when we presume to have God and the Prophet on our side? This is simple logic, but mad people blinded by anger and anguish will never understand.

Thank you for reading this rant. I am just upset, you know… Forgive me, sunshine.

A FEW GOOD MEN. I am joining the Masters asking God to send unto mankind a few good men. Men who will save us from the misguided pronouncements of our religious hubris. Men of Mercy, Valour and Chivalry.

I am no one, a nobody, not even a ‘great’ sinner. But you, my friends… you are my hope for the world. You are with me, right?

Pax Taufiqa.
Related Postings:-

The Shining Lanterns, the Mother of All Jihad and the Garden of God(11 Dec 2010)
A god of war, Neo-Jihadis, Neo-Crusaders, Children, the Ego, the Business End of a Bullet and a Message of Mercy (23 Nov 2010)
Jihad, War, Caliph Ali and the sword Zulfiqar, Futuwat Code of Chivalry and Armchair Generals (17 Nov 2010)
Al-Qaeda can shove it. Taliban can stuff it. Osama is a nutjob - Putting the Joy back in Jihad, Putting the Fun in Fana!(9 Nov 2010)
Mad Jihadis, Crazy Crusaders and God, Christ, Jesus, Jehovah, Allah, Buddha, Tuhan, Father and Ram (29 Oct 2010)
The highest Jihad and Crusade, the Angels of Mons, a Cigarette, the Throne and you (18 Oct 2010)

FOOLISH SINNER, EGO, SMUGNESS, BIG HEARTED, MUHAMMAD, GOD MOST FUSSY AND THE ANSWERS

49. A Little Knowledge Is Dangerous In The Hands Of Man
When you were uncertain, He plants in you the seed of knowledge,
When you became knowledgeable, He plants in you the seed of wisdom,
When you became wise, He plants in you the seed of arrogance,
When you became arrogant, He plants in you the seed of uncertainty.

What else can you do in these circumstances but plead;
O’ God! Harvest me! Harvest me when I look best to Thee!

FOOLISH SINNER. A wise man was once quoted as saying “God Save us from pious fools!” Well, I think being foolish and looking foolish is the standard operating procedure for us all. At some time in our life, perhaps last week or maybe 1 hour ago, your wisdom was found to be wanting and you ended up looking like a fool.

THE EGO(AGAIN). It happened to me on Thursday night. I was waiting for Heche and left the car double-parked. I stood in front of the car having a smoke when a couple of gentlemen descended from a nearby pub and entered a car parked in front of mine. The driver honked and gestured angrily asking “Is this your car, I cannot get out laa!” Frankly, I was surprised he couldn’t get out, but when I approached him replying through gritted teeth, “Yes, but please don’t honk again.” his alcohol infused breath hit me. I felt foolish, because really, a drunk needs to be managed, not glowered at. I felt even more foolish because I continued to feel angry. It is often our bruised ego that makes us look foolish, and a combustible scene even more combustible. You can be as smart as an Owl, but if you let the Donkey of your ego ride you… down the drain goes all your years of education and experiences.

SMUGNESS. I can be pretty smug. My closest friend said this of me, “Taufiq is even worse, he knows he’s smart!” I admit to the charge, I am guilty. And I fear what sort of mess my smugness will get myself into one day. No doubt I will look stupid and foolish again. It is fated, and in this desperate helplessness, I look to God for protection and cure for my own smugittude…
.

15. Smugness
Some fear smugness
Which comes with knowledge.

But it is a useful sign
To reassess where you are,

And to realize that
After all your study and struggle,
You really know nothing,
And oh boy, are you in trouble!

BIG HEARTED I am not. But I am big about the heart. That great, great Muslim saint and theologian, Imam Ghazali was big on the heart too. His writing and eloquent life inspired my forefathers, and he remains a pre-eminent figure in South East Asia, despite critiques of him by ‘Muslim Modernists and Reformers’. I think the trick to controlling your ego is to make your heart as loving as possible – making it so big that your ego is lost in the COSMIC VASTNESS of your conscience. But your ego can also grow to great vastness if you are not careful. I try to follow my heart and not be arrogant with what little knowledge I may have. But as I said, I can be smug. Be patient with me, my friends, because for me, it is a constant battle to let my heart rule my head in the quest for Truth…
.

109. Truth, The Heart & The Mind
Truth is always felt.
Never reasoned out;

Your mind helps to identify
And connect the dots
That represent what meager
Knowledge you have acquired so far.

But the last mile, the complete picture,
Only your heart can comprehend.

FIGURING GOD. Wonderful thing, knowledge is. I often imagine us being little toddlers in the great kindergarten of God, with God Hiding Himself around a corner and having fun looking at us trying to figure Him out. Late in my life, I came across an old man who said, “Figure yourself out first, then you can figure God” I have lived by that advice since. So have I figured God? Of course not! I am still going through the multi-layered cake that is me. Some parts I find sweet, some parts I find sour, some parts I cannot discern a taste. Perhaps we are all like that…

13. A, B, C
God has left His Signs,
Like Alphabetical Blocks,
In the playpen of Man.

Some have raised them as towers to reach the sky,
Some have strewn the blocks and spread them far and wide,
Some have lost them,
While others give these blocks
Only perfunctory acknowledgement,
Seeing His Signs
Within themselves,
And greatest of them all
In the heart of a man, a shepherd orphan
Most delicate of all servants.

MUHAMMAD AND THE BURDEN OF KNOWLEDGE. Anyway, above all signs of God, even such signs as I may find in myself, I am enraptured most of all by the COSMIC NEON LIGHTS of Muhammad. His name has been bad-mouthed of late. He is depicted as mad and bad by some people who ought to really know better. Muhammad is not to be blamed; it is we who have been neglectful of his teachings of love, mercy and patience. Thus we must bear some blame for causing other people to misconstrue the Prophet. How I rue the day when I would face Muhammad and admit, “Yes, my Master… they were misled as to your nature and your message by MY NEGLIGENCE. Forgive me, please.” I am laying the blame at my threshold and that of the Muslims because we claim to be followers of Muhammad. And it is only because of the delicate nature of Muhammad Most Beloved that I can even hope for his forgiveness and intercessions…

GOD MOST FUSSY. All questions that you may frame, all answers that your mind may conjecture, if you trace their origin, all will ultimately bring you back to Him. He is the Creator of Languages by which He communicates with us and we communicate with one other. He is also the Creator of Knowledge itself. His Essence is therefore beyond human contemplation. Yet, He says He wants to be known (‘I am a Hidden Jewel and I desire to be known’, a famous Sufi quote) and He asks that you strive to know Him. But God is also Most Odd, the One and Only. Whenever I wrap my head around one idea of His Attractiveness, He reveals Himself to me even more beautiful in another aspect. He keeps me on my toes wanting more of His Infinite Variety, and curious as to what He has Planned for me - So I do believe that God is the Lord Most Curious.

6. My Lord Most Curious
My Lord Most Curious,
Creator of the how,
Creator of the who,
Creator of the why,

Mightiest Examiner,
Setter of the Questions,
The Crossroad of all knowledge,
The Spring of all Answer.

The Fountain of thoughtful query,
The Mirror of human reflection.

But the curiosity runs both ways. It is not a one-way street. I think we are often curious of God and his Mysterious Ways, but when it comes to it, our curiosity cannot be compared to His inquisitiveness over us, His beloved servants.

Forever, our Lord is inquiring over us… Are you fine? How is that ankle injury? Did you sleep well last night? Why are you crying? Are you sad someone got promoted over you? Do you have enough money to last the end of the month? Did someone cut you by some heartless jibe? Why are you distracted? Am I not incomparable in my Beauty? Ugliness cannot create beauty, and you are often enchanted by My creation – Yet you ignore Me. Why are you so blind? Even a mother cat would grieve for her kitten, do you not think I grieve for you? Do you remember Me? Do you know Me? I have created the stars in the night sky and all the fishes in the sea just for you, do you not know Me at all? My dear servants, do you even know who you really are?

Of course, He does it in an entirely UberCool Godly way and not like a nervous mother hen fussing over her chicks. But you get what I am getting at.

THE ANSWERS ARE IN YOUR HEART. Life is about answering God’s questions, isn’t it? But unlike most examinations that we have to sit for, in this exam we need only to ask the Chief Examiner Himself, and He will pass you a note while the Angelic moderators are not watching. A little God-note slipped into the folds of your heart. So look for the answers you need there. The answers, and God Himself, is in your heart, always.

Have a happy Monday, Sunshine.

Pax Taufiqa

Footnotes – ‘A Little Knowledge Is Dangerous In The Hands Of Man’ and ‘Truth, The Heart & The Mind’ are from Chapter 2, ‘The Dam.Munir.Ana’, 2004. ‘Smugness’ is from Chapter 26, ‘Stay Clear’.’A,B,C’ is from Chapter 19, ‘Tiramesu’. ‘My Lord Most Curious’ is from Chapter 23, ‘My Lord has Answered Me’.