THE RANSOM OF CREATION

The Ransom for Creation

Every time you inhale

With the intention of reciting

Salutations and praise 

For the Prophet,

Lo, that lungful of air 

Is worth more

Than all of Creation... 

So let your salawat 

For the Prophet 

Be heard,

Release the ransom of creation

And let your salawat 

For the Prophet

Be heard,

Let it be known

The reason for Creation,

And let your salawat

For the Prophet

Be heard...

........................

Fossils, not Faith. One day I will not be here anymore to write this almanac. But I will be happy to receive the ending credits, that final curtain call of Allah (swt) that all creatures face, if I but know that these words will continue to float in your consciousness, sunshine. And for this, I would be eternally grateful.

Fossils, Not Faith

Lo, seek for the crier of tears!

The yearning ones,

The ones overcome with passion

At the mere recollection of the Prophet,

For their river of tears

Waters the field of real knowledge

And prevents the lore of God

From ossifying, drying up

And hardening into 

Fossils of faith,

Dead bones

Only fit to be

Exhibited in

The museum. 

.........................

Just Words. It is hard speaking, but how will we find God Almighty without the Prophet of God (saws)? Is it faith we have, or have we collected some old bones, dug from the earth of the holy Quran? Fossils really, dead lifeless prose, undoubtedly beautiful, full of knowledge and hypnotic, but at the end just words. And this we think suffices us to face this world, our willful ego, the accursed Satan and his minions?

Truth is choking them. Neither by our strength, nor by our greatest intellectual grasp of religion will we be safe. Oh how easy it is to say, "O' Prophet (saws), you have been sent to us and we are in need of you. So be alive in our hearts and our conscience, do not leave us for one moment to our fickle self. We are your nation, and we are undone without your love and mercy! For have you not been sent to all worlds and nations as God's Own mercy?" How strange then that some believers in the holy Quran find such words choking in their throat, unable to spit it out, crying out instead, "Bida'ah! Bida'ah (innovations and heresy)!"

Sigh.

But then again, love can never be completely explained. So I will stop here and ask God to show us His Love - Nabi Muhammad (saws), the Seal of the Messengers, the completion of mercy and generosity of the Merciful and Generous One to all His creation.

That's you and me, kiddo! So never despair, and smile always... 

wa min Allah at-taufiq

Hate has no place in Islam

Love will show the Way

THE WINDOW DISPLAY OF THE SOUL... belief is not a destiny but a journey

The Window Display of the Soul

I am looking at myself,

Looking at the words

That I bedeck this almanac with,

Akin to a window-shop display

Of my thoughts that I found

Prose-like and pretty,

And I now wonder whether

These words truly

Represent me,

After some contemplation

The truth is deceptively easy,

That, no, these words are not me

But they are what I would like to be.

..........................

Salesmanship and self-delusion. We all have a certain level of salesmanship. I think it is inherent in most people, that we would like people to think of us in the best way possible. And indeed, it is true even for our own self knowledge.  We are our own shopkeeper, and we decorate the window-shop of our soul with pretensions of virtue, and we are also the customer of this products of self delusion. 

I am thinking of this because of the simple words; "I believe in God." And after some contemplation, I must admit that my level of belief in God rises and ebbs according to my tide of fortune. I would like to be constant and steady, but no. At an intellectual level, yes, but not on a moment-by-moment impassioned way, to live my life in the constant assurance of His existence and what He has promised humanity.  

Belief is not a destination but a journey. This in itself is not a bad thing, I guess. For I do believe that complete belief is reserved only for the Prophets of God, and the best and highest form of belief in God is in the conduct and manners of Muhammad Habibullah (saws), our most beloved and the last of the Prophets of God. So now, when I am thinking or talking, I am careful with the words, "I believe in God." Saying or thinking these words as honest as I can, and asking God to bring me closer to the completeness of belief, to the sweetest of His Truth, which is exemplified in the Prophet (saws). Phew... that is a big, cosmic level prayer. But even an infinite journey begins with a single step, yes?

Abang Shem. I would like to end this posting with a sad news of the passing of my beautiful cousin, Mohamed Zaid bin Zainal, known to me as Abang Shem. He passed away on Sunday morning. I will write of him when I am more calm and collected. May Allah (swt) accept him and bring him to the Divine Presence in the company of Nabi Muhammad (saws).

al fatiha

wa min Allah at-taufiq

Hate has no place in Islam

Love will show the Way

THE TREE OF MUHAMMAD

The Tree of Muhammad

I am a tree,

And I have been created

Complete in my perfection,

You may take sustenance from 

My deepest roots to the highest

Leaf or flower that bloom from me,

You may pick my low lying fruits,

You may take shelter beneath me 

From the heat of the sun

From the wetness of the rain,

And from the hubris of men,

You may approach me from 

Any direction, and along any path,

For I am created to endure 

And for as long as the forest remains

I shall always be here, waiting for you,

Indeed, by my Most Merciful Lord,

I was created that you may be created,

And If you think your desire and longing for me is great,

Lo, You will not bear to know my desire

And longing for you!

Who will come to me?

Who will sit under my shade?

Who will rest his weary troubles on me?

Who will share my fruits and my nectar?

Who will take delight in my company?

........................ 

What is a tree? It is a living breathing organism without whom we would perish and this world would be a dead soulless planet. Yesterday morning Heche and me were buying breakfast from a street pedlar who was selling his nasi lemak under a tree by a busy suburban street. As I was waiting for Heche to complete our transaction I stood next to the tree and wondered in my wandering whim, "How many countless people have passed you by, o' Tree, barely noticing your existence, yet taking shelter beneath your rich green foliage?"

As we rush through our daily life, filled with distractions and illusions of this world, we often forget what truly matters. I thanked the tree for giving me a shade, and gently pressed my palm against its brittle grey bark. In the name of God that made you, thank you! In the name of the Prophet, thank you for your beauty!

Sarawak. When I was away in Sarawak, I was often close to tears. Not out of sadness, but joy. And a sense of overwhelming thankfulness for being surrounded by my beautiful friends, and beautiful trees. Arriving early in the town of Kuching I was brought to a cemetery near my friend's house to visit his late father, grandparents and great grandfather.

There, nestled among the shrubbery and trees, I found his ancestors's graves and the historical link to a beautiful history.  And I, Taufiq the recalcitrant sinner, playing an unlikely part in my friend's own story.  Winding through history like a path through the spiritual station of honoured ones, we find ourselves here today - somewhere in the most beautiful lore of the Prophet Muhammad (saws). Thus, our sincere prayers is that Allah (swt) shall allow us to contribute a chapter to His Habibullah's (saws) story, whether as a beautiful rose or even a fern or a humble blade of grass or moss... That is enough already.

Don't you agree, sunshine?

wa min Allah at-taufiq

Hate has no place in Islam

Love will show the Way

THE WIND TREE, THE FAKE FAKIR AND THE SOLE REASON FOR HISTORY

The Wind Tree
If you wish to fly like the wind,
You must have roots like the tree.
..........................................

A Hullo. Hullo there, sunshine. I must admit that it has been some time since I last wrote here in the almanac. I do not know if I will continue writing regularly henceforth, but let us not worry about that...

Reality of History. You know, it is no good to desire some transcendental ascent, without good solid grounding in reality, and in particular, how our own history shapes it.

For history tells us how we come to be here today. Through the daily lives of our fathers and mothers, and our forefathers before them, through their fate we are led to this point in our life, and our own fate, insignificant as it may seem in the greater cosmos.

Importance and Self-importance. Yet, you are not insignificant. Whether you are a beggar in the street, a reveler in the nightclub or a dervish in the mosque, you are certainly important. Most importantly because you are beloved and cared by your Creator.

The risk is how our own hubris and pride takes that divine importance and turn it into damnable self-importance. 

The True Self is... Perhaps this is why I have been writing less nowadays. Repelled by my own horrible sense of self-importance. I guess I am tired of feeling like a fake faker, Ooh, Taufiq you fool, so full of your 'self'! I know this because an ancient friend tells me this - 'your true self is in your actions, actions motivated by selflessness. Any other reason for conduct is an illusion and a trap.'  

The Sole Reason for History. If only I could just let go and disappear. For I can sense the roots that entwine us all in the clay of our fragile humanity. There, in our shared history is all the nourishment we need for a better future. All the lessons and examples, the parables and wisdom of the Prophets of God. 

But knowing something is not the same as living something. So please, pray for me, sunshine! May Allah (swt) bless your kindness with the attention and guidance of Nabi Muhammad (saws), for he is the epitome of selflessness and generosity, and the entire cause and reason for our creation and history.

Don't you agree?  

wa min Allah at-taufiq

Hate has no place in Islam

Love will show the Way

Metaphors and Divine Promises

Realities, Metaphors and Analogies

If you say this world is real,

I will not disagree with you,

If you say this world is illusory,

I will not disagree with you,

If you say that this world is a metaphor,

I will not disagree with you,

As a reality and an analogy,

I will not disagree with you.

For every day, and every moment,

So long as you are a thinking and feeling

Member of the human race,

You will live in both worlds,

Standing across two meanings

Whose divide is wider than the Universe,

Seeing illusions and bearing witness

To His Embrace, He that is God Almighty,

The Last and the First.

..................

I have not written much but here I am, still very much alive and kicking. Metaphorically, speaking. He he he.

Have a wonderful Eidul Adha, sunshine. May Allah (swt) ease our journey from faithlessness to faithfulness, from all that is ugly and illusory to all that is true and lovely... towards Muhammad Habibullah, Mercy to all the Worlds (saws).

wa min Allah at-taufiq

Divine Promises
Escape the illusion of the bars that cage your soul,
Remember God and His Prophet,
Remember the divine promises long foretold!

Hate has no place in Islam

Love will show the Way

PINCHED AND SO CLOSE... and yet so far

All Pinched

The love of the Prophet is a garden in my heart. 

And it is so beautiful, so wondrous that at times 

I pinch myself that it is indeed here at all. 

By Allah the Generous, 

That is why you find me in this state... 

So bruised by so many pinching. 

So Close Yet So Far

I take these words and passing thoughts of you to present to you, o' Beloved,

But they are never enough. for I see and can barely comprehend 

Your beauty and magnificent mercy, 

Only for Allah to raise your noble station higher and more honoured. 

Yet you say you care for my soul far better than I myself?... 

By Allah the Tender, 

That makes me feel so close to you

And yet so far from you.

........................................

The worth of man or a woman is measured by how close he or she brings us nearer to you, o' Prophet, O' Most Beautiful Rose in Allah's Secret Garden of Roses, ya Muhammad the Veiled Moon shining upon the forest of incoherent reflection of your blessed eminence and light... so guide the guide to us, and leave us not to our own caprice!

wa min Allah at-taufiq

Notrumi Embun, 7th September 2014

Hate has no place in Islam

Love will show the Way

A BONFIRE OF WHITE FIRE

A Bonfire of White Fire

You are my wonder

You are my mystery

You are my forever

And I would lay waste

All my world for You

In a bonfire of white fire,

If it was Your pleasure,

You are my perfection

You are my redeemer

My Guide and my Master

And how I regret each breath

That I steal when of You

I fail to remember,

For it is theft that I commit,

It is a fraud that I abet,

It is a lie that I aid to fulfill,

The vainglory of my capricious will...

When oh Lord, oh Master,

I forget myself for even a moment.

By forgetting my God, Allah, and Muhammad, my Master,

........................

The seconds are endless... the days countless... the years, shamefully many in which I, your writer, has constantly failed to remember God Almighty, and His Habibullah, Nabi Muhammad (saws).

For I fear that for far too long, I, your sinner, was easily persuaded by the temporary distractions of this world, by the poison honey, the chemical happiness, the cheap tawdry gratification so well presented in the window shop of this reality. 

But not you, sunshine. You who are my betters, saw through the deception of this ego-world, and learned well the lessons. At the knees of the wise, you learned to discern the true sweetness of love, the honey of submission, the wine of exaltation in the praise of Allah swt and the wonder that is the Holy al-Quran and the sunnah (traditions) of His Beloved Muhammad (saws).

If you can spare a cup of knowledge, a drop of compassion, a hint of hope, pour your love in my direction, and keep me in your prayers, please. You may consider yourself ordinary, my readers. But I see you very differently. You are my hope for my humanity. So grip tight the robes of the saints and the saintly!  

wa min Allah at-taufiq

Notrumi Embun, 1st September 2014

Hate has no place in Islam

Love will show the Way   

UBAT (THE MEDICINE) - the remedy for bad manners, life and prayers...

Ubat

Ubat biadab

Ikutlah adab si-Abdi

Ubat si-hidup 

Ada dengan pesakit atau si-mati.

Ubat si-peminta

Hanya pada Si-Pemberi,

Medicine

The cure for bad manners

Is to follow the good manners of the Servant,

The cure for those living

Is with the dead or dying,

The remedy for the one asking

Is with The Only One giving,

................

Ubat biadab, ikutlah adab si-Abdi. The remedy for bad manners, which accounts for all the ills and sorrow of humanity is through good manners. For good manners should be the basis of our interaction with the world, from the people that loves us and the enemy that hates us, to the animals that we keep or is wild. Adab (good manners) in Islam encompasses the natural environment that nourishes us, how we organise our community, how we trade and live as neighbours. The very best adab rules even how we deal with inanimate things like rocks and sand, water and air - for there is nothing in this world that is not sustained by Allah (swt) and recites His Names and His praises. From the deep space of stars, galaxies and constellations, deep into the inner space between atoms, molecules and electrons - they all remember His Name and His Glory!

And there is no servant more steeped in servanthood to God and His Creation than Nabi Muhammad (saws), the first servant and prophet.

"I was a Prophet when Adam was between clay and water"

Ubat si-hidup ada dengan pesakit atau si-mati. My late mother (may Allah Almighty bless her soul) always took the time to visit the sick and the dying. Many years ago, our loyal gardener, Mr. Menon was injured in an accident and broke his leg. "When I woke up in the hospital, the first and only person I saw when I opened my eyes was your mother." So he recalled one morning as we chatted about my late mum. For my mother it was no-big-deal. It is a given thing, a natural order and manner that if whomever we know is injured, ill or dying, we must visit them. I wish I had such discipline and natural instinct. Because visitations to cemeteries, hospitals and the sick bed reminds us of our own transient state of health. For all the bad manners from which all ills and sorrows of humanity originates cannot happen until a man or a woman forgets their condition of being in utter need, love and mercy of God the Most Compassionate and Most Merciful.

And boy, do we need all the reminders we can get. So when your conscience is pricked, go and do not hesitate. Go to your friend at his sick bed or at the cemetery. Sickness or death is no impediment to the love and adab you may find there.

Ubat si-peminta hanya pada si-Pemberi. Whatever goodness we receive comes from the Giver, a.k.a. God Almighty. Oh, He may pick and choose the timing, the person, the condition and the form through which a goodness is given, but undoubtedly, for all believers, it is He who is the one and the only one giving. So we thank God all the time, for our parents and our siblings, for our kin and our friends, for the hospital treatment, for the house we are living in, for the car we are driving, and for the infinitesimal atoms and sub-atomic particles that (temporarily) cloth our spirit.

So, whatever and whenever we are asking for... only He can gives. Don't you agree, sunshine? 

So do not be shy with your asking. Ask God for God!

wa min Allah at-taufiq

-Notrumi Embun, 26th June 2014

Hate has no place in Islam

Love will show the Way 

LOVE ON STEROIDS - the non-linear nature of time in the kingdom of love

Who is Remembering Who?

If I had you near me now,

I would press my head

To your bosom,

I would stop thinking,

Stop worrying,

I would simply take in

With each soulful breath,

Your scent, your warmth,

And those words of assurance

That long have I waited to hear,

"Do not worry, I will always be here,

Just recall me and I will be near,

In fact, I would be there even before

Your first murmurs of melancholy for me

Strikes your despairing soul,

You must realise...

You are remembering me 

Because I am first

To remember

You."

......................

Here, time is linear. When we are talking about our dearly departed who has passed on, we need to stop thinking in the normal way. For we are living in the material world that is linear - time moves on, we are born, we grow old then we die. 

Here, time ceases to be linear. But when we recall our beautiful mothers, our excellent fathers, our friends and kin who have all left us, we are trespassing into the spiritual world, though there is still breath in our bodies. And time is not linear at all here. It goes forward and backwards, it bounces about like a beach ball. It is like undisciplined electrons, whirling and turning according to our wilful purpose. 

You are dead. Don't you have anything better to do? So you see, I am thinking of my mother now, simply because she is thinking of me first. And I would say the same for my late brother, and all my many aunties and uncles, friends and cousins. So now you may be wondering about your late mum/dad/sis/bff - "You are all thinking of me, remembering me... surely there is something more beneficial for you to do in the Hereafter..."

Death is Love on Steroids. Well, the truth is simple and undeniable (well...  you can deny it if you want to be a spoilsport / a partypooper, he he he). The doorway of death does not extinguish love. Actually it augments love. It is love on steroids. And this world, this material world is literally pulsating with the hidden lines that love is drawing across our lives - making our days and nights better, richer and more meaningful.

Such things you may find in thinking of your God and your Prophet (saws). Whether you are contemplating alone or in the presence of your betters. For when it comes to love's power and the truth it represents... is there any comparison to Allah (swt) and His Love for Muhammad Habibullah (saws)?

So, if there is a soul you are longing to meet again, to hear from... he/she is there in the Divine Presence, waiting for you. And his/her longing for you precedes your longing for him/her. 

Love on Steroids. Like I said.

He he he.

wa min Allah at-taufiq

-Notrumi Embun, 17th June 2014

Hate has no place in Islam

Love all show the Way 

THE OWNER OF GODLY GRACE - and the passing of a good servant

The Owner of the Godly Grace

I know there is a life after death,

Because our conversation has not ended,

Day in and day out, it is still the same,

I know there is love after death,

Because I can feel you looking to me,

Day in and day out, it is still the same,

I know there is a Prophethood after death,

Day in and day out, it is still the same,
This has been the Mawlana's constant refrain to me, 

I know there is a God after death,

For this true love cannot be contained in one short life,

Day in and day out, eternity rolls out,

And you are still the same to me,

Only that you look much, much better

And wherever you may be, it is a good place to be.

How I wish I will be there with you

When the Owner of Godly Grace

Sends His invitation,

To your side

Be my

Place.

.................

On 7th of May 2014, as I was driving home from work, I received a WhatsApp message from my friend, Sheik Munim Bajrai. Although always praying for the best, I would lie if I said I did not anticipate the possibility. After all, Mawlana Shaykh Nazim was 92 years old, and has been in the ICU for ten days.

This would be a good place to explain who and what the Mawlana was and is. But where do I begin? For I am pretty sure I don't know him enough to say what ought to be said, nor describe what is often times, an indescribable feeling when you are drawn to his presence, whether physically or otherwise.

If you think I am confounded because to talk of the Mawlana is to enter some existentialist transcendental discourse about cosmic consciousness, then may I be permitted to correct you.

All that the Mawlana has ever showed to me and his many followers was love. Love, kindness, mercy and a guidance towards the best master of such love, kindness, mercy and guidance - that being the Seal of the Prophets, Sayyidina Muhammad (saws). And through the miraculous love and obedience of the Prophet (saws), towards the Endless Oceans of Mercy of Allah (swt).

Mawlana's teaching has not ended. Nor his loving concern for his naughty, mischievous mureeds (students). Death, just like when we were born from the womb of our beloved mother, is only the beginning...

And in particular, I came from the womb of this woman, my late mother.
And just as it happens, today marks the 12th year of her passing.
al fatiha...

And thank God, it is!

wa min Allah at-taufiq

- Notrumi , 20th  May 2014.

Hate has no place in Islam

Love will show the Way

THE LION, THE DESERT & THE RIVER OF TEARS - of songs, archery, friendship and the Seal of the Prophets

(Painting of "The Gypsy" by Henri Rousseau, 1897)

The Lion, the Desert & the River of Tears

A lion stood between me and my Love,
I permitted the lion to consume me,
That I may become the lion
And meet my Love
Who is ardently waiting for me...

A desert stood between me and my Love,

I cried and I cried and I cried

Until a mighty river rose from my tears,

I jumped in. and was borne safely

To my Love who was waiting for me,

Carried to Him in my river of tears...

.......................

This morning, I invited my friend, Mr. Ikhlas for coffee. I said to him, "I am practicing archery! And I have coffee and tea! Come!" Happily, he agreed. After half-an-hour there was still no sign of him or the ancient van that he often drives in. Then I received a call from Mr. Ikhlas communicating to me that he was stuck because Si-Merah (the Red One, which is the colour of his van) is uncooperative and is refusing to start. "Would you mind coming over and picking me up?" He inquired. 

So I stopped shooting and went to pick him up. Arriving shortly at my house, the Qasida Burda (an ancient hymn about God Almighty and His Prophet Muhammad saws) was playing, for I enjoy listening to the song while doing archery. Mr. Ikhlas's face lighted up hearing the ancient words wafting in the morning air. And so our morning turned, around music and life, family and friends, accompanied by my playlist which I impetuously titled as the Red Rose Garden playlist. I call it the Red Rose because all of the songs, which includes pop and rock ballad, in English and in my Malay language, recalls to me the beautiful personality and mercy of the Prophet Muhammad Habibullah (saws). And I often play it in my garden, ergo... the Red Rose Garden. He he he. 

In the course of our chit-chat, an Indonesian song started to play, entitled 'Sempurna' ('Perfect') by the Indonesian band, Andra & the Backbone. I said to Mr. Ikhlas... "This is a song describing the Prophet Muhammad... and our yearning for him." We sat quietly, listening to the haunting melody and loving lyrics, then I saw my dear old friend's eyes glistening with tears. This is the song.

"Oh you made me cry this morning, Taufiq!" Mr. Ikhlas said to me, as I drove him home later.

So you see, that is why I wrote of the Lion, the Desert and the River of Tears. Because the true way of Love is often glistening with pearl-like teardrops shining like stars in our mortal sky. But they are tears of happiness. And they hang over us like stars of hope. 

Keep the faith, sunshine!

-Notrumi, 17th April 2014

Hate has no place in Islam

Love will show the Way

THE CONSTANT LOVE - prophethood, master and servant in the practice of Truth, Patience and Constancy.

A Red Rose Heart, by Cristina Colombo, Milan, Italy

The Constant Prophet

He is one Prophet,

But in constant servanthood,

With one vision constantly upon the Divine Presence

And one vision constantly upon Creation,

He is the Master appointed for all Creation,

But in servanthood he is without parallel!

He looks constantly upon all of Creation

With incomparable empathy, mercy and compassion,

For is he not God's own anointed Mercy to all of us?

And is it any wonder that God loves him best of all?

....................................

A Love that is Constant. There is no love more sublime than a love that is practiced with truth, patience and constancy. And there is no practitioner of truth, patience and constancy more exalted and worthy of praise and imitation than our Most Beloved Muhammad Habibullah (saws).

The Master and the Servant. Often, I have heard (and read) the Prophet (saws) being referred to as 'The Master of Creation' - God's appointed representative to all His creation, through whom God weighs and determines the merit (or demerit) of men and djinn. But like all things about our Messenger (saws), the word 'master' needs to be studied a bit closer. After all, if I was a 'master', you know what I would do? I would probably be bossing all of creation for my own selfish desires. And I would allow my ego to gain ascendancy over my better self, until ultimately, like many fallen kings and pharaohs before, I would become a slave to my own ego... and lose mastery even over my own self.

But such is the nature of our beloved Habibullah (saws), his 'masterhood' is inextricably connected to his noble station of servanthood. And not just any ordinary servanthood, but the servant most beloved to God Almighty. For undoubtedly, in the personality of Nabi Muhammad (saws), the love, kindness and mercy is so refined in its emphatic manifestation to all of creation... that he cannot but be the most beloved of Allah (swt), in God's own favourite reference to Himself as ar-Rahman and ar-Rahim (the Most Compassionate and Most Merciful).

May we find the best path towards refining our own understanding and application of the Prophet Muhammad's (saws) manifold personality, especially in the noble pursuit of truth, patience and constancy.

By (the token of) Time (through the ages),
Verily Man is in loss,
Except such as have Faith, and do righteous deeds,
and (join together) in the mutual teaching of
Truth, Patience and Constancy.
(al Quran 103, Yusuf Ali)

Have a beautiful day, sunshine!

wa min Allah at-taufiq

Hate has no place in Islam

Love will show the Way

THE BROKEN ARROW - the ego and surrender to the Sunnah of Muhammad (saws)

The Broken Arrow

My Lord is there across the field,

My body takes the physical form of a bow,

It is my Prophet that draws the bowstring,

As he holds my spirit as an arrow 

Between his thumb and index finger.

Lo, how beautiful I would fly to my Lord,

But I am overcome by my ego

And my flight is turning ugly!

Thus you found me, my master,

Lying on the ground, 

A broken arrow.

In need of your Love

And your Mercy.

.................

Recycling Love. Yesterday, my nephew was practicing archery at my house. He was taking a break when he noticed a broken arrow on the table. He asked me if I can repair it, and I said no. There is a hairline crack running through the shaft that is beyond my limited understanding to remedy. Then he inquired if he could smash it with a hammer. Kids... I remember being just as strangely destructive in my younger days.

I said no. The arrow has sentimental value, for it is the first one that I made with help from Enda and Pak Din, my archery-mad friends. And the arrow served me well when it was whole, and even upon being irretrievably damaged, I was able to recycle the notch and arrow head for two other arrows that had lost their parts. 

The Broken Arrow. I am utterly convinced of the perfection of Islam, in the words of the Book of the Universe, known as the Holy Quran, manifested in the Sunnah (traditions) of Muhammad Habibullah (saws), known as the walking, living embodiment of the holy book.

And I am also utterly convinced of my woeful neglect and sin. And how I allow my ego and nafs (base desires) to gain ascendancy over me, until I find in my life, across this archery range, many, many broken arrows... a testimony of my own broken promises to God Almighty and to myself, of my many broken breaths wasted in pursuit of worldly, temporary gratification. 

But God the Most Compassionate and Merciful... through the ministration of His Beloved Muhammad (saws)... He does not leave me there. God picks me up in my moment of greatest despair, He studies the hairline cracks running through my soul and attends to my smallest errors. 

Through our Prophet (saws), God has never forsaken me... 

Not while there is still any sinew in my mortal coil 

To release my spirit-arrow from Muhammad the Beloved (saws) 

To God the all-loving One.

Archers of Malaysia and others... in Amman, Jordan, 2011. Including my late brother
Arwah Saiful Bahri bin Abdul Khalid (sitting 2nd row, 2nd from the right)
al fatiha... 

You understand, sunshine? 

wa min Allah at-taufiq

Hate has no place in Islam

Love will show the Way