PLEASE MAMA, JUST LET ME LOOK AT YOU - The Ramadan Story, Part 5

Keeping Company

May I please sit here with you?

May I please talk to you?

May I please have your unfailing attention?

May I please have your love,

Your mercy and compassion?

May I please have your ear,

And share with you all my joy and pain?

May I please have your time,

In this brief pause between the rain?

In this quiet solitude of the night,

So dark and still without the moonlight, 

While everyone else is asleep,

May I have your company to keep?

Perhaps I don't make friends easy,

Perhaps I am not very companionable, 

So, God please...

While others have given up on me

Please say that you will stay.

........................

The Mirror of Truth. I hope nobody is taking the poem above negatively. Sometimes, I reckon that we have given up on ourselves. "Ugh!" We would cringe when we contemplate ourselves in front of the mirror. Know that you are looking at a lie when you think yourself ugly or a failure. If you could see yourself with the Gaze of Love upon the Mirror of Truth, verily you would prostrate before the reflection. And what exactly is the reflection that you would see then? I am not sure. But if it would impel me to prostrate, it must be quite a sight... masyaAllah.

Remembering Mother. My mum, may God bless her soul, was very companionable. Day and night our house used to be filled with visitors. I miss those hectic busy days now, and would give anything to see her once again. I don't care anymore about her cooking or anything like that at all. What I would tell her right now if I could is, "Please, just sit there and let me look at you..."

A Beautiful Birth. Ten thousand years ago, you and I were not born yet. But all that has happened then, and all that has occurred even further back than that, has led to your birth. Perhaps like me, you have made many mistakes and misused your time here in this world. But nothing that you have done since can unmake you and your beautiful birth. InsyaAllah (God willing), tomorrow is another day to prove this. Surely God the Loving One would not have gone to all this trouble to make Creation and you to humiliate, embarrass or oppress you? How can He when He has forbidden any acts of oppression or unfairness upon His Godly Self? In a Hadith (verbal tradition of the Prophet s.a.w.s.), God assured and commanded us, "O' My servants, I have forbidden oppression for Myself and have made it forbidden amongst you, so do not oppress one another."  

Forgetting to ask God something. I am troubled by an ear infection, which often causes stabs of pain around my ear and my temple. I am sad that this comes with the arrival of Ramadan, but an ancient friend dropped by last evening and said, "You should take this opportunity to plead for all sorts of things from God now instead of simply complaining. Don't you know that God is most attentive to those with illness and in pain?!" I followed his advice and every time I feel that someone is drilling into my head, I would ask something from God. The only problem is I keep forgetting to ask Him to cure me and stop the pain. He he he. 

But then again, if you have such an intimate moment with our Loving Creator, would you ask Him to stop? 

Something to reflect on, sunshine. Have a wonderful day tomorrow.

Sometimes Love, like life, can appear to be a little hard,
But there is no need for all that drama, you know...
Just say BismillahiRahmaniRahim and enter.
(In the name of God, Most Gracious, Most Merciful)

wa min Allah at-taufiq

Hate has no place in Islam

Love will show the Way 

THE COMPLAINING ONE - The Ramadan Story, Part 3

There too, Allah Verily Goes

Give Him a moment in your day,

And Allah will give you an eternity,

Give Him a smile in your day,

And Allah will give you something worth smiling for,

Give Him an entry in your day,

And Allah will give you a thousand doors,

Give Him a word in your day,

And Allah will give you a chamber of echoes,

For wherever His servant goes,

There too, step by step, word by word,

With every sigh of contentment,

Allah verily goes.

For is He not 
Very best of company,
The very best of hosts?

...................................

It is coming into the third morning of Ramadan, and I would like to make a confession here.

I wish I was one of those who can submit to illness with a smile in his heart and faith in his bosom, whatever may happen. Instead, if I feel hurt, I will grimace and maybe even emit a pitiful groan. If I am in pain, I do not hide my pain. Instead I shamelessly parade my pain in front of my Lord... "Oh God, I am hurting here... real baaad!" I bitch, gripe, moan, complain and register my list of dissatisfaction with the Almighty, wherever and whenever it happens.

Physical pain has a way of making us forget temporarily, our blessings. And through the noise and litany of grievances, I guess there must be some good here. Even in this illness(es) that is affecting my Ramadan.

My only prayer to the Almighty (and I know that He is aware of this) is this...

4. Too good a disguise

Lord! Oh Lordly, Lordly Lord!

You say that in all hardship and trials

There lies a silver lining.

A blessing in disguise.

But please.

Don’t make the disguise so good

That I cannot finally see through it. 

............................

Patience is often a molehill. A hillock or sometimes
a mighty mountain to climb.

Have a lovely healthy day, sunshine. Have a good one for me.

wa min Allah at-taufiq

Hate has no place in Islam

Love will show the Way

Ramadan al-Mubarak and the Nourishment of Love - The Ramadan Story, Part 1

The Month of Sinners. Do you know that this blessed month of Ramadan is the month of us sinners? Oh yeah. Well, it is also a month for all sorts of things... it is also the Month of Quran, the Month of Light, the Month of the Poor, the Month of Repentance, the Month of Invocation and Standing in Supplication, the Month of Doing One's Best, the Month of Victory and Success and the list goes on and on. And just so you and I are not mistaken in the divine awesomeness of Ramadan, it is also known as Sayyid al-Shuhur, the Master of All Months. 

ADAB (Good Manners) YA HU (Oh He!) This, in two very short and perhaps surprising phrase for some, is inscribed above the doorway of a Sufi Grandmaster, in his little abode in Lefke, Turkish-Cyprus. In a breathless act of grandstanding, this sinner is also putting one up above the entrance to the hermitage in the sky. Below are practice sketches of the writing by my good ol' buddy, Moses. I think they look beautiful, don't you?

There is only a few minutes left before fasting on this very 1st day of Ramadhan. So I bid you a wonderful and joyous Ramadan al-Mubarak, and though we may empty ourselves of food and water for awhile, may we also gain eternal light, peace, good manners, knowledge, patience, constancy and contentment that is the Nourishment of Love. And this is a dish served especially in this blessed month.

Have a lovely month, sunshine!

wa min allah at-taufiq

Hate has no place in Islam

Love will show the Way

Who am I? Hu is He? - lighting our way with remembrance... Allah Allah Allah...

Who am I? Hu is He?

When I am in the dark,

When all life appears black,

And there is no light to be seen,

I simply remember...

Who I am,

And Hu He is...

"Oh Lord, you are my Lord!

And I, your tired, helpless servant!"

And just like that a light appears,

First as a tiny flicker, then a white flame

Before bursting into a mighty blazing light,

A living light, a governing light!

Banishing away all my sadness,

All my fears and all my despair...

As my soul voices a whimper,

A whisper of gratitude...

"Oh Lord, I knew You would always care..."

('Hu' is used in Arabic, to mean 'He', signifying the only He in Absolute Existence, being God Almighty)

.............................

Yesterday I was unwell and kept to my bed, and today I am still a little weak. But the worst appears over, and things are looking up. I will not lie to you, sunshine, and say that my mind and emotion was unaffected. Seized in some moments, words tumble from my lips, Why... why, God... why?"

But then I remember Him, and that I am addressing Him. And that happenstances of 'good' and 'bad' fortunes are but labels we put to events that God has fated for us. So I say, "Alhamdulillah (praise to God), it could have been far, far worse. Thank You, God."

And to top it off, my ugly bout of eczema on my hands and feet seems to have faded away with a little gel cream I purchased from my neighbourhood pharmacy. And of course, I have passed through yet another chapter in my life with God, so when all things are considered, is there any other words I can express but Thank You to You, Allah(s.w.t.) and to Your Rasul, Muhammad Habibullah(s.a.w.s.)?

And thank you to you also, sunshine. For sharing a little corner of your thoughts with me today.

Even the longest storm has an end... 

wa min Allah at-taufiq

Hate has no place in Islam

Love will show the Way

LOVE ME, EMBRACE ME AND LEAVE ME NEVER!

Dear God,

I didn't mean the words I said yesterday,

I didn't mean the screams I screamed yesterday,

Nor the sighs that I sighed,

Or the moans that I moaned,.

Dear God,

I didn't mean any of those foolish things,

And wished unsaid the words that I said,

And the deeds that I did,

It is just sometimes...

They come flying out of my lips

And speeding through my mind

Those words and thoughts

All of You to be unkind.

Dear God,

If I am to learn through hardship,

Then through hardship I must,

But there is one thing

Of You that I must ask...

Forgiveness if in learning I am slow,

If in sorrow I often wallow,

If I despair for tomorrow...

Forgive me of my weaknesses,

When (inevitably) I go to pieces,

Pick me up and bind me back,

Bond me always to Your pleasure

Love me, embrace me

And leave me never!

.....................

I don't know about you, but I often have unworthy thoughts of our One Lord God. Over this week I suffered from food poisoning and a day later my eyes got infected and light-sensitive until I was running from shadows to shadows hiding from the blinding sun. Where is the wisdom in such ailments? To lose control of my bodily functions and fearing the sun like a demented vampire? Oh, brother.

Now, less than 24 hours later here I am. Cured (apparently) and contented. And this is the wisdom - gratitude and personal hygiene. After 43 years this is where I am, at the very basics of spiritual understanding. There is no better education than experience, I guess. But I will not be too self-satisfied in this almanac, I don't want God to send another illness anytime soon. 

After all, I am only a sinner. And a learner sinner at that.

Have a beautiful and healthy day, sunshine.

wa min Allah at-taufiq

Hate has no place in Islam

Love will show the Way

Pooh the Sufi Bear - the world and its sweet purpose

Honey World

"I am not asking for the world," Pooh said to the Lord.

"I am only looking for sweetness..."

To which God replied to the little bear, "Do not blame the honey

If you cannot taste its sweetness, Pooh."

.......................

I like Pooh Bear. And I like honey. In fact I have with me three types of honey. One from the Hadramaut desert of Yemen, one collected from the virgin rainforest of Malaysia, and the last one is from a cultivated honey farm in the southern state of Johor. 

Three Honeys. The most raw and slightly bitter tasting honey is from the rainforest, which is no surprise considering the different types of fauna and flowers that the bees take nectar from to make the honey. A close second is the honey of bees of the honey farm. But my favourite, the most smooth and mellow of all is the Hadramaut honey, rich and yet silky in its texture.

"The wise man...", says an old friend of mine, "...is the man who can taste the sweetness and richness of this world, but does not confine his understanding (and pleasure) in the mere physical sense. For he sees each sweet honey and fruit bringing him closer to the sweetness of the Divine Presence of God Almighty."

So may this Sabbath find you in the sweetness of life, dear Pooh... and in yourself, bringing sweetness into other people's.

God bless.

wa min Allah at-taufiq

Hate has no place in Islam

Love will show the Way

Love without Rival and the Beloved without Rival - towards a life of sincere sweetness

Love Without Rival

When my Lord looks for sincerity in me,

He sends me illness and poverty,

But He finds instead my hardness…

When my Lord looks for sweetness in me,

He sends me health and wealth,

But He finds instead my forgetfulness…

Either way I am undone,

Like a knot unraveled,

Unprepared as I am

To a Love without Rival.

…………………..

An illness gripped me for a couple of days, and I could not stand it, and I found true hardness in the core of my being, asking God why should I be made to suffer in this painful humiliating way. Even as the thoughts pass through my soul unchallenged, I felt guilty, and not a little stupid.

Ah, but that is what makes a man sometimes, yes? A little guilty, a little stupid. A clown really.

Yet it doesn't bode well for me even when the Lord grants me with health and wealth, for then you may find me silly and forgetful. Either way, I cannot win. Not alone, and certainly not by my own devices.

An ancient friend confides in me that the best path is the middle way, and the union of sincerity and sweetness into sincere sweetness, as elevated into a perfect art by Muhammad Prophet of God (s.a.w.s.), most intimate of all creation with the Creator. "That is the best way for you", he says... 

For Allah(s.w.t.) is Love Without Rival, and Muhammad (s.a.w.s.) 

is the Beloved without Rival.

Have a beautiful Sunday, sunshine. For me it is beautiful already for my illness has abated under the care of my father. And with my friend's advice ringing in the bell tower of my spirit, I look forward to a new day refreshed with hope, and a love without rival.

wa min Allah at-taufiq

Hate has no place in Islam

Love will show the Way

THE BEST WAY MIRRORS CAN BE BROKEN - an allergic reaction

Talking to Yourself

You are talking to yourself only,

As you walk and cast your reflection

Upon the mirror that is called the World.

All the good, all the bad,

All the pretty, all the ugly

And all the in between.

Is you.

........................

Allergy. Everyone is helping. My hands don't look very nice presently. It is full of scabs and spots which appear to be caused by an allergy outbreak. The doctor has prescribed antibiotics and antihistamine which didn't really work. I also supplemented that with a Chinese herbal remedy (full of dried roots, barks, fruits and fruit skins of laichee and wintermelons) which I had to boil into a blackish brackish ointment to soak my hands in. It kinda helped to heal the open cuts but didn't really help with the actual allergy, and the spots kept coming out. After a week I went to see the doctor again and he stopped the antibiotics but continued with a stronger antihistamine and a gel to rub on the skin. Finally yesterday, Ani, my loyal clerk, gave me a strange jello made from sea weed. I have rubbed my hands twice, and I think my hands feel a little better. I am also taking probiotic supplement pills, as suggested by Mr. Ikhlas, which also seems to be helping. 

White gloves. Today Heche purchased for me a pair of white cotton gloves. I have to travel with Alex and Ariffin down to Singapore over the weekend for a massive signing appointment with buyers of a new condo development in southern tip of Johor. I would wear the gloves if my hands have not dramatically improved by then. Don't wanna scare the clientele. It is not infectious of course, but you understand...

Breaking the Mirror. To be honest with you, I was a bit frustrated over my allergy.. and my own mirror surrounded my thoughts and amplified my concern. But now I cannot ignore that it is sometimes our own maladies and sickness that brings out the best in people around us. Our family and friends, so curious and concerned with my present condition. And despite what the above prose says, this time I think there is no mirror there at all between me and my fair-wishing friends and kin. They are gentle caring creatures, and they broke through my mirror of frustration to give me hope, and insyaAllah, a cure.

And that is the best way mirrors can be broken. Through compassion.

...try this. It might help.

Don't you agree, sunshine?

wa min Allah at-taufiq

Hate has no place in Islam

Love will show the Way

Why...? Love asks

Some gathering of roses in the shape of a heart... by Cristina Colombo

Why...? Love asks.

Why are you standing?

I was anticipating  your arrival, love.

Why are you praying?

I knew you would be listening, love.

Why are you forgetful?

I knew you would still remember, love.

Why are you flying?

I am not flying, love.

It is this world that is falling away beneath my feet.

Why is the world falling away?

For this world cannot bear the reality

Of your love for me and my love for you, love.

…………………………..

And why was I unwell? I caught a sickness from my son, Mikhail. But he is better already and I am back, alhamdulillah. Thank you for waiting, sunshine.

wa min Allah at-taufiq

Hate has no place in Islam

Love will show the Way

A Ship of Salawat on the Sea of Dzikr - thoughts and musings under the emerald eaves...

Strange thoughts may come to you, walking under the emerald eaves...

I went walking yesterday afternoon. In between preparing a due diligence report for a solicitor friend and a billion Euro deal, I sneaked out for a walk. Don't worry about the billion Euro thingy, for it is my experience that the bigger the value of a contract, the lesser the likelihood that it will actually succeed. But you never know, I guess.

It is important to walk away sometimes. Even for only 30 minutes. Away from the laptop, the phone calls, the sms-es and the WhatsApp. Away from the newspapers, away from the office. As I strolled under the emerald eaves of the park, I would listen to my Ipod. Although I sing terribly, I love songs. And in the Ipod is a playlist of songs I named 'The Red Rose'. It is a compilation of rock love ballads, pop love songs, folksy music and mawlud songs venerating and praising the Prophet Muhammad (s.a.w.). Of course, perhaps the songwriters never originally intended the songs to speak of the love of Muhammad and God, but I have an ear for such things. He he he.

Salawat for the Prophet (giving worthy greetings and calling upon blessings of God for the Prophet), which is the fundamental basis of mawlud songs, is important to Muslims. It is the necessary accompaniment to the Dzikr (remembrance of God). It is like a ship traversing calmly across a sea. It is like a stroll in a park, when all animate and inanimate things just feels good.

I soon finished my walk and returned, alas too soon, to the mundane stuff of billion Euro deals.

Have a lovely day, sunshine. A billion Euro here or there means nothings if you are not happy. So look for happiness.

wa min Allah at-taufiq

Hate has no place in Islam

Love will show the Way

The Archer and the Light at the End of the Tunnel - an afternoon walk and 4 prose

Dogs for walks. I walked my dogs yesterday afternoon. Again. As the lunch crowd settled in the coffee shops, restaurants, kopitiams, bars and bistros around my neighbourhood, my dogs were restless for a walk.

No Light at the End of the Tunnel. The walk started heavy, because my spirit was weighed down. Have you ever felt kinda dispirited and lethargic, without really knowing why? I mean of course, we all have problems in our lives, but in some moments the moody blues cling to our heart, but with no specific reasons. Perhaps it is a general feeling of despondency and weariness - money problem, health problem, friendship problem, and a scary feeling that perhaps there is no light at the end of the tunnel for us…

But I shrugged aside this feeling and started my walk.

The Archer I

The purpose of life

Is to find the true aim

Of the Archer,

And not to waste time

Shooting your arrows

At everything that this world

Offers you as target practice…

I heard this from someone who knows…

Quite Nice. I made my way towards the nearby park, hidden and closeted on all sides by townhouses. And with each step I took, I left behind one milligram of my worries. And the further I walked, the further I left the cares and concerns of this world behind me. As before, the wind came, and beneath the green canopy of the tall trees, it was really quite nice.

The Archer II

The Lord of the Archers shows you everything,

And He lets you see everything,

But He guides those whom He loves

One step at a time, one flight of the arrow at a time

Flying from your blessed bows

To the blessed ends…

I heard this from someone who knows…

Chance meeting. The afternoon grew darker and me and my dogs ended our travel at the cornerside stall of Devi’s. There I wondered, if any friend of mine would drop by. And then he did. And then another fellow..

The Archer III

O’ my Prophet,

My arrow is in my hand,

And my bow is steady,

But if you look at me that way,

If you smile at me that way,

If you continue to say what you say

In that way…

How will I ever hit the target,

Swayed as I am

With happiness that poets

Write in their intimate sacred prose?

I heard this from someone who knows…

A storm. As we sat musing over a cup of iced coffee, suddenly the heavens broke and a tropic storm lashed down against the lunchtime crowd of people and cars that pass us by. Thunder and lightning played havoc with the Djinns as we sat sheltering under the flimsy zinc roof of the stall.

The Archer IV

Once you understand your real aim, o’ Archer

The target comes to you closer and closer,

One understanding at a time, one lesson at a time,

Till it rests upon the business end of your arrow head,

The arrow will not fly now,

It is the target that will fly to you,

Sitting, standing, running or lying down,

You are seeing the world as it is,

Transient and transparent like a ghost,

A dream within a dream within a dream…

I heard this from someone who knows…

Life is very fine sometimes, I think. Thank you for keeping me company in my almanac. I did not walk very far yesterday, but Heaven knows where our thoughts wandered to... May God forgive me and may He always bless you.

my dogs 

wa min Allah at-taufiq

Hate has no place in Islam

Love will show the Way

In the Suburban Idleness of Hartamas - ya Allah ya Rasulullah!

People and God

How I prefer to deal with you, Love,

Than with people.

People who are conditioned

By their past and expectations, fears

And hopes of a bright future.

People who are not able

To be in the present with me.

Like icebergs, they float into my life,

And when I get too close,

The ice invisible underneath

Breaches my hull,

And I am left adrift,

Cut by their words

And their action,

Though they mean me

No harm at all.

O’ Lord, you mean me no harm,

But You would do nothing, and indeed

You would do everything to

Ensure my happiness,

Which is in Your presence.

...................................................

Praise and prayers be for the Message and the Messenger, Nabi Muhammad (pbuh) Beloved of God, and God's Mercy unto the worlds.

Yesterday as I was walking the dogs in the afternoon I passed through a secluded little park in the neighbourhood of Hartamas. I was by my lonesome save for two street sweepers who were taking a lunch nap on the park benches. And it was a good idea, because although the sun was shining brightly it was also very breezy under the shade of the tall trees.

As I passed the dozing pair the wind then really picked up, and a crop of trees were heaving gently, its rustling leaves suddenly bursting into song. Even the sleeping sweepers could not help but get up. For a minute or two I stood beside the trees, as the wind and the leaves sang their duet. Those crazy Sufis like to remind people that all things and creatures have their particular songs that glorify and praise God. It is called dzikr (remembrance of God). They also say that the salawat (praise of the Prophet Muhammad) calls the wind and the wind answers. So for a moment I was transfixed by the ya Allah (oh Lord!)and the ya Rasulullah (oh Prophet of God!) choir playing amongst the wooded hallow of a small park in the suburban idleness of Hartamas.

Then just as suddenly the wind came, it slowly died down and I continued my walk. It was a good walk you see. I knew it because it began with a stranger's greeting. A chinese contractor, having lunch in the coffee shop under my office smiled as he saw me coming in my walking outfit, then asked if I was going running. I said that I was not running, but only walking. Then he asked "Tak kerja ka hari ini? (Not working today?)" Then I said, "Kerja dan jalan!(Working and walking!)"

It does not take much to make me very happy. 

My dogs are friendly with cats so long as they are not snobbish.

wa min Allah at-taufiq

Hate has no place in Islam

Love will show the Way

Want Some? asks Nigella - Chefs in the Kitchen of God

That looks yummy! And so does the spaghetti. 

Nigella and Me

Faith is like food,

What is the point of reading

Cooking books and watching

Cooking shows if we are never

Going to be able to taste it?

..............................

FOOD IS GOOD. "Ooh... what am I gonna eat during the breaking of fast?" I am asking myself every day. I am fat, you see. And it is because I like food. Nice delicious food. If God had wanted, He could have created us without the need to eat. And even if we did need to eat, He could have NOT left this Earth with so much delicious things for us. Delectable, savoury and sublime... fruits and vegetables, minerals and animals. In a manner of speaking, food is a great barakah and rahmat (blessing and grace) for humanity.

THE EGO ALSO AGREES! But our body (as one rainbow Shaykh said) is also the perfect host for our ego. Because God has also provided for our ego and has perfected a magnificent vessel and mechanism to sustain our ego - the human body. So when we eat, we are also giving food to our ego. But this catch-22 scenario covers not just our physicality, but the physicality and materialism of the world we exist in. This world too has been designed as a place to feed the needs of our ego.

A rainbow shaykh. 

MODERATION. With such odds stacked against us, what chance do we have to subdue our ego? Fat chance if left to our own devices. And that is why God has sent His prophets and messengers to humanity. To warn, to assure and to guide. To bring humanity to the path of moderation and simplicity. For mankind cannot run away from this world, after all, we bally have to live in it, like it or not. So we must take what we need to sustain our mind and body, but we are taught to do so in moderation, and not to overfeed the ego that we carry in our very bodies.

FAT MAN. As a fat man, I have failed to find the balance. Though in truth, food has become to me, at the age of 42, less hypnotic. It comes with the years, I guess. And the lessons I am learning from abusing my body as my limbs start to ache where they never used to, my sugar level is spiking, stairs-climbing becomes a daily jihad, and simply the mere act of walking must be measured and planned to avoid exhausting myself. Nothing beats pain and suffering as teachers of mankind.

FAITH AND FOOD. Another fine shaykh, one whom the rainbow shaykh likes to call a grandshaykh, a serious-and-right-proper shaykh also had something to say about food. Well, not actually food but in fact faith. Essentially, he said that the problem with this epoch is that some religious scholars and preachers often write books and give sermon about God and religion. But faith, just like food, is in the tasting and eating. It is no fun simply reading and listening. And as a avid foodie, I get what he means. What is the point of reading Nigella Lawson's book or watching her cooking show. I want Nigella to come over to my house and cook her Sunday roast beef.

A serious-right-and-proper shaykh, here with Charlie, HRH The Prince of Wales.
I am sure you have heard of him... 

KITCHEN OF GOD So look for the Chefs of Faith who can not only speak well and write books about God and the Prophet Muhammad(pbuh), but who can actually come over into your heart and bring God and the Prophet into the very essence of your being. For it is in your heart that you can taste the Divine Presence. Don't you see... The heart is the Kitchen of God. 

You do that, sunshine. While I address my health problems. Together we can make it. Together, we BETTER make it. Alhamdulillah and thank you for sharing a bit of your consciousness with me this morning.

wa min Allah at-taufiq

Hate has no place in Islam

Love will show the Way