Tears and Fears - this time, I will be ready

Tears & Fears

My life is filled with tears

But I am not sad,   

I have no right

To be.

My life is filled with fears

But I am not done in, 

I have no right  

To be. 

For I know my Lord

Has allotted a certain 

Number of tears 

For me to shed, 

Not one teardrop more, 

Not one teardrop less,

And my Lord has allotted

A certain number of fears

For me to overcome,

Not one ghost more,

Not one ghoul less, 

Such thoughts comfort me

As I sleep in my bed.

And as I wake up each morning

With the Sun rising above the sea,

The same tearful and fearful thoughts

Drift away to the West,

Though I know that

With the setting Sun,

The same cloud of tears

And fears will be there

Waiting for me.

But this time,

I will be ready.

......................

There are many things we cry over, and there are many things that sends a chill into our heart. Death and illnesses, poverty and bankruptcies - these are the stuffs that will turn our day grey, as we sigh "Oh dear me..."

In our conversation last night, Heche said that "Well, you gotta learn how to swing the bat every time God throws you a curve ball."

"Well, I don't want to play baseball with God. He plays mean!" I protested.

But of course, we have no choice in the matter. We have all the choices in the world, but not this one. And of course, God doesn't play mean. He lets me off so many times that I cannot even count.

In fact God has rigged the game for us to win. But to win, we must win over something - Which is to conquer our tears and our fears, and be that person God knows we can be, if only we would persevere.

So persevere, sunshine. Have hope always.

wa min Allah at-taufiq

Hate has no place in Islam

Love will show the Way

The Sinners Almanac: What is in a name or word? THE MEANING...

The Sinners Almanac: What is in a name or word? THE MEANING...: i do not worship idols . made of stone or wood . Nor do i pray to gods . cast in a name or word. ............................................

First Ever Reposting. But there is a reason...
This was posted in 2010 when the 'Allah' controversy cropped up around August and September of that year. And now it is back here in Malaysia. I think it is strange to 
exclusively own a word or a name, and that no one else 
(read non-Muslims) may use it. 
Click on the link above...

wa min Allah at-taufiq.

THE BEST WAY MIRRORS CAN BE BROKEN - an allergic reaction

Talking to Yourself

You are talking to yourself only,

As you walk and cast your reflection

Upon the mirror that is called the World.

All the good, all the bad,

All the pretty, all the ugly

And all the in between.

Is you.

........................

Allergy. Everyone is helping. My hands don't look very nice presently. It is full of scabs and spots which appear to be caused by an allergy outbreak. The doctor has prescribed antibiotics and antihistamine which didn't really work. I also supplemented that with a Chinese herbal remedy (full of dried roots, barks, fruits and fruit skins of laichee and wintermelons) which I had to boil into a blackish brackish ointment to soak my hands in. It kinda helped to heal the open cuts but didn't really help with the actual allergy, and the spots kept coming out. After a week I went to see the doctor again and he stopped the antibiotics but continued with a stronger antihistamine and a gel to rub on the skin. Finally yesterday, Ani, my loyal clerk, gave me a strange jello made from sea weed. I have rubbed my hands twice, and I think my hands feel a little better. I am also taking probiotic supplement pills, as suggested by Mr. Ikhlas, which also seems to be helping. 

White gloves. Today Heche purchased for me a pair of white cotton gloves. I have to travel with Alex and Ariffin down to Singapore over the weekend for a massive signing appointment with buyers of a new condo development in southern tip of Johor. I would wear the gloves if my hands have not dramatically improved by then. Don't wanna scare the clientele. It is not infectious of course, but you understand...

Breaking the Mirror. To be honest with you, I was a bit frustrated over my allergy.. and my own mirror surrounded my thoughts and amplified my concern. But now I cannot ignore that it is sometimes our own maladies and sickness that brings out the best in people around us. Our family and friends, so curious and concerned with my present condition. And despite what the above prose says, this time I think there is no mirror there at all between me and my fair-wishing friends and kin. They are gentle caring creatures, and they broke through my mirror of frustration to give me hope, and insyaAllah, a cure.

And that is the best way mirrors can be broken. Through compassion.

...try this. It might help.

Don't you agree, sunshine?

wa min Allah at-taufiq

Hate has no place in Islam

Love will show the Way

The Dead are not Dead in Spirit - The Prince Part 27

Falling into the Sea

Falling in love is like falling into the sea

And not knowing how to swim,

You trash about, your hands flaying like crazy

Trying to keep afloat, trying to keep your reason,

Nobody sees your struggle, nobody understands your pain,

A little tiny speck in a vast ocean,

Until finally, you understand your Lover,

And learn how to breathe

Under water.

The Norms of the Afterlife

Life is all about

Preparing for the afterlife,

And acquainting yourself

To the norms of

The afterlife.

In its kind courtesies,

Its gentle ways,

Its subtle nuances,

Its mighty mercies,

Its infinite ocean

Of the Lord.

The Milk in the Pitcher

I am here,

But I am not all here,

I am a creature of history,

And this life is but one step 

In a journey from the past

To the future.

So excuse my haste

For I am in a hurry,

And it is my constant wonder

That people do not see

There is little milk

Left in the pitcher,

And I look towards this life and the next

As a divine adventure.

Death, my Kinsman

O’ Death!

Come to me gently in the Reality

Of what you are and who I am,

Come to me unmasked

And I shall wait for you unmasked,

Cast aside that face you wear

And I shall cast aside this face I wear,

For if ALLAH has in Truth, created,

He has created only Muhammad,

And in one body,

Can there beat more than one heart?

..............................

In the second morning, you will find Mikhail wandering around the royal cemetery of the Perak royal household on Bukit Chandan in Kuala Kangsar. "Where are the babies?" he asked as he looked around, standing on the side of a hill by the edge of the Perak River. He is always fond of babies and makes a particular effort to find their final resting place whenever we visit the garden of stone that is the garden of the dead. He wondered aloud why some graves were in 'cages' (iron fences, actually). I reckoned because they were close kin and told him so.

We finally found al-Marhum Shaykh Raja Ashman Shah's grave lying in a small quadrangle of the Maqam diRaja (Royal Mausoleum), still in its open soil without any marbled tomb raised above it. We normally leave the grave untouched for at least one year for the earth and soil to settle before raising its marbled edifice. Otherwise there is always the risk of the heavy marble sinking into the soil and cracking.

Before we left the royal town, we paid our last visit to Tok Temong's maqam. It was a lot warmer than yesterday, but a river side breeze came to cool the heat of this Sunday morning. Mika apologised for rushing our visit yesterday and looked pleased, as if he had settled an account. I cannot help but smile at his entreaties.

Sometimes I think that cemeteries and maqams, especially those that hold in their breadth the memories of the saints are wonderful places. A penthouse mansion that rises high above the mad rushing life of this world and its rat-race. I am glad Mikhail has no fear of such places. Indeed, he appears very much comfortable and contented. I think this is a good lesson for his future, however Allah (s.w.t.) and the Prophet Muhammad (s.a.w.s) may plan it. 

God bless the dead, for they are not dead in spirit. God bless our children, for they are fresh with the spirit of life, curiosity and hope. And God bless you, sunshine.

wa min Allah at-taufiq

The Prince. The link to this post has been uploaded to The Prince Page, which contains all previous postings relating to al-Marhum Shaykh Raja Ashman. You can access the page by clicking here.

Hate has no place in Islam

Love will show the Way

By the Perak River with Tok Temong - The Prince Part 26

As I mentioned on Saturday, over the weekend I was in Kuala Kangsar, Perak. I was there with Mikhail on a roadtrip ("Living life on the road!", my 9 year-old son says). We left Kuala Lumpur at 8am and was chased all the way up the North-South Highway by a torrential downpour of epic proportions. There was a few hairy moments as we passed by coach buses and heavy lorries trundling up the road. "I don't want to die, God! I have not gotten enough pahala (good merits) yet!!!" protested Mika as the car slightly aqua-planed across a puddle of water on the road. Don't get me wrong, the highway is a well built construct and water drains well off it. But as I said, the rain was epic. 

We were coming up north to visit the final resting place of al-Marhum Shaykh Raja Ashman Shah ibni Sultan Azlan Muhibbudin Shah. But we are also visiting the maqam (tomb / grave) of Tok Temong, the legendary and real female saint of Perak. Her maqam rests on a quiet plot by the edge of the Perak River, and on the Saturday, Mika and myself managed to visit her first. Below are some pictures we took on the first day of our trip. Oops, I mean road trip. Sorry Mika. He he he.

My directions to the maqam of Tok Temong is sketchy at best. From some online
searches I managed to find the village of Kampung Temong Hilir about 10 minutes drive
from the royal town of Kuala Kangsar, the seat of the Throne of Perak. I also found online
a brief direction telling me to find the mosque in the village and head up another 100 metres
or so. And then there would be a small lane on the right. I saw one and hoping I found
the right place I headed down the quiet kampung road. There was only a few houses.
The road was still wet with the earlier downpour as my son and me slowly drove
through the thick undergrowth and tall trees. Somehow, the place felt right.

We found her alright, but I was a little disappointed to find that the maqam was fenced
and the gate was locked. But there was a small sign giving the cellphone number of the
caretaker. I called Abang Mus (brother Mus) and he said to hold for a bit as he would come.
Less than five minutes later he arrived in a small motorcycle, a dark-skinned gentleman of
41 years of age, a thin figure with an easy smile. He let us into the maqam.

This is a brief signage put up by the Museum Department. If I may translate it,
it reads, "Tok Temong was the (female) ruler of the Temong district before the rule
of Sultan Muzaffar Shah I (1528-1549). On the day of his coronation, His Majesty
was presented by her with a 'geliga embun' which became, to this day, one of the
royal coronation instrument of Perak. She was also responsible for granting
the rule of Inner Perak to the  present Perak state government.
- This maqam was built by the Museum Department in 1976."

Abang Mus later invited us to the riverside which was at the end of a long
steep concrete steps. Mika immediately rushed down.

At the riverside there is a small shelter built of wood and bamboo. There is
also a small rickety old jetty which juts out into the mighty Perak river. At the end of
the short jetty were two medium-sized stones rising above the waters. The two stones are
an important location for one of the royal coronation ceremonies of a new Sultan of Perak.
Tradition tells us that the two stones were originally one stone, but was broken in two by
an earlier Sultan (Sultan Mansor, I think) who later vanished (ghaib)
and was never to be seen again.

Abang Mus. In the background is Mikhail, beating a hasty retreat
after slipping and falling down. No, he wasn't hurt, he just hates
getting his jeans wet and dirty. Poor fella.

We had to postpone the trip to Ku Ash's maqam to the next day. While we rested
in Ipoh, Mika complained about his new Crocs that his mum bought him. "Yes, Papa...
it is almost pink!" he complained. "And it is the same size as Mummy's!" he paused
before continuing, "I bet Mummy bought it so that she can borrow it! I wish Uncle
Herman (Mika's stepdad) was doing the shopping! He wouldn't have got me this colour!!"

Well, that's it for the first day, sunshine. Sunday would be even better. 

wa min Allah at-taufiq

Hate has no place in Islam

Love will show the Way

The Prince. The link to this post has been uploaded to The Prince Page, which contains all previous postings relating to al-Marhum Shaykh Raja Ashman. You can access the page by clicking here.

Above My Bed of Frangipani Flowers

Above My Bed of Frangipani Flowers

I am not going to be building towering towers,

I am not going to fill libraries with my writings,

I am not going to sculpt a David, a Venus or anybody,

I am not going to climb the highest mountain,

I am not going to get one billion hits on my Youtube video,

I am not going to be a stinking rich writing a computer program

Nor will I be known for my singing prowess,

I only hope to live the rest of my life

Being as little a problem to anyone,

And that is how I hope to while away my hours,

And if anyone cares to carve an epithet,

I hope it will simply read, "He was a nice fellow to know"

Above my bed of frangipani flowers...

....................................

I am on a roadtrip with my son, Mikhail. Early this morning we left Kuala Lumpur for the royal capital of the state of Perak, my mother's hometown and coincidentally the hometown of al Marhum Shaykh Raja Ashman Shah ibn Sultan Azlan Shah (Ku Ash).

Mikhail with his Upin and Ipin comic.
We stopped by the Tapah rest area for breakfast.

Perhaps my soul is less ambitious than others. Perhaps my soul knows me enough not to expect too much from me. Sometimes I think that my soul's only pretension to virtue and goodness for me is that..."If, he doesn't accidentally step on an ant today, I would be happy."

We are spending the night here in Ipoh, the state capital, just a half-an-hour's drive away. Tomorrow we shall be making one more visitation to Kuala Kangsar, then a leisurely drive back home.

Ku Ash. Prince of Perak, Sultan of Hearts...
al fatiha

Have a wonderful Sabbath, sunshine. God bless you.

wa min Allah at-taufiq

Hate has no place in Islam

Love will show the Way

There is no Prefixes to the word 'Muslim' - a journey in the meaning of words...

Are You a Muslim?

Who are you to say I am a Muslim?

Who am I to say I am a Muslim?

I want such declaration to come from

No one but Hu, no one but Hu, no one but Hu...

If you meet my soul, perhaps you may believe him,

But I want to hear it from Hu Himself, from Hu Himself, from Hu Himself...

I find it most amusing to hear people speak,

"Oh... I am Muslim!" and "Oh... he is not a Muslim!"

When the light of their knowledge is barely a flicker

In the cosmic chasm of their manners,

Go on... name your country Islamic!

Name your company Islamic!

Name your trade and your title Islamic!

Name your book Islamic...

For Allah Almighty loves a challenge!

Oh Lord! I am cowering in my sickness,

I am hiding in a mousehole in the plain of my soul,

For I am not worthy to be there, to be here, to be anywhere

Where the where is without You!

Oh Allah the Just! Oh Allah the Wise!

You have given humanity Islam,

And now they think they deserve Islam!?

I am prepared to laugh now,

But all I do every day is cry

And I don't even know why...

Oh God

I don't even know why...

..............................

Well, I know that I am a sinner.
Let us start from there.

There is no prefixes to 'Muslim'. In the dictionary of life that I often leaf through there is no word or phrase such as an Islamist. Or modern Muslim. Or progressive / liberal Muslim. Or a fundamentalist Muslim. Or a political Muslim. Or a traditional Muslim. And certainly no reformist Muslim, no neo-Muslim, no revolutionary Muslim, no conservative Muslim, no lipstick Muslim, no secular Muslim and no hardcore Muslim. To the word 'Muslim' there is no prefixes to redefine the meaning of a Muslim. A Muslim is simply a Muslim.

Right. Moving on...

Am I a Muslim? Muslim is a noun, as in a Muslim. But it is also an adjective in the sense that it describes the 'Muslim' as a human being professing to practice the religion of Islam. And that is where most people stop. And in the name of Allah, the Most Nuanced One, the Most Subtle in His ways, I rather think it is a woefully inadequate meaning to give to the word Muslim.

For to say, "I am a Muslim" is to actually mean, "I am undertaking a journey which began even before I was born and one that shall continue after I have passed on. And it is a journey of self-discovery, through which I hope to find the meaning of God as how God intended me to understand Him. And I cannot say with any certainty at which point of the journey towards Muslimhood I am at, only that with each step I find myself sadly inept and negligent and am barely able to carry the little knowledge that I have of myself, and therefore, of God Himself. It is a journey whose caravan head is none other than the Master himself, Saydeena Muhammad (s.a.w.s.), in train with his Companions and the Saints. The light shines somewhere in the far distant, and I can hear the music in their voices, laughter and weary tears. I can smell the perfume of their presence though they have longed died (as far as we understand what life and death mean). My ragged soul, much tested and found to be wanting by this world's trials and tribulations, is glowing not with my own piety, not my own poor facsimile of faith, but with the reflected glorious spirit of my ancestors who came before me, and my descendants who shall soon come after me. I am unfit to be called a Muslim. I am a soul set adrift in the Sea of Temptation and am still searching for my true harbour. Once I am there, only then I will know that I am a Muslim, if it pleases my God to welcome me home."

It is Friday, sunshine. With the rising Sun comes a rising contemplation of who I am ...of who we all are.

wa min Allah at-taufiq

Hate has no place in Islam

Love will show the Way