HAPPINESS & THE NEW YEAR 2014... an adventure at sea with Mr. Ikhlas

"It was happiness." said my old friend, Mr. Ikhlas, as he recounted a tale in his distant past. "I was about 17, I think, and our family headed for a fishing trip off the east coast, near Kuantan, Pahang. If I recall well, there was my grandfather and me, my two uncles, one auntie, and our family's driver who was also my good friend and confidante. The sea was calm, the sky was bright and blue with no hint of dark clouds in sight. Then, about noon the sea turned mean and high. Out little boat was tossing and turning helplessly before suddenly a giant wave overturned us and I was flung into the treacherous ocean.

He then paused before continuing, his brown eyes glinting in a sea-grey outer ring that I always found interesting. "I managed to grab hold of a floating plank and an empty water tank. I could not see anyone else although my friend managed to join me. Of my grandfather, auntie and two uncles there were no sight or sound, nothing but the constant rise and fall of the waves beneath a bright afternoon sun. Perfect day for fishing, I remember recalling, except that we are now two rather desperate men, being carried further and further into the vast South China Sea by the low tide. I divined this as I noticed the satellite dish on top the cliff near Sungai Karang (Karang river) slowly drop out of sight over the rising horizon of the sea. 

Unhappy though I was, I was grateful for my little pieces of wood and tank, which helped us to stay above water. I would have to last as long as I can, and the thought that the next day would be Friday, on which no fishermen would go out to sea, left me concerned about my mortality. Is this to be the end of me? To lighten myself, I considered taking off my trousers, which was hampering my movement and was not a little damn heavy. But to be indecently exposed? After all, I was not alone, my friend was still with me, gamely hanging on. It was then I began a conversation with God... 'Surely God, You would forgive me this little sin? After all, survival is also a duty in religion.' After a while, I felt confident that God wouldn't mind at all, and so I unbuttoned and dropped my trousers into the dark blue depth. But not before I checked my wallet, and carefully took out my identity card. This identification paper I then carefully secured in a knot tied at the bottom of my shirt. 'Well, at least people won't find it hard to identify my body if it comes to that.' I remember thinking.'

The day quickly turned into night, and despite our predicament, what I recall best of all was the night sky. For you see, there was no artificial light anywhere near us to spoil the magnificent beauty of the million of stars and constellations that dot the heavens. The celestial lamps were as bright and twinkling as they were millions of years ago and as I looked on, I felt privileged. Privileged and honoured. This, and many other thoughts I shared with God. 

Then, as if by plan, we noticed the lights. They were a bare glimmer in the far horizon, but they were unmistakably lights! We began to swim towards them, but now our journey made easier by the current of the rising sea, carrying my friend and I back to shore."

..............................................

Happily, everyone made it alive. Either picked up or able to swim to safety. Such was the story related to me by Mr. Ikhlas (with a little poetic license on my side). The crux of his tale was that the maritime episode was probably the first ever occasion in which he really spoke to God. "And I have never stopped since. I talk to God all the time."

Today is the last day of 2013, sunshine. Did anything happen to you this year that availed you to conversations with God? Some unfortunate illness? Some pressing financial difficulties? Perhaps a marital upheaval that made you open up to God? It is funny (to me) that as Muslims we are suppose to already be in intimate congress with God Almighty at least five times a day. And yet troubles continue to dog our life, biting at our heels like many malevolent hounds... and in the process chasing us to Him. It is as if God is saying... "I want meaning when you say you need Me. I want passion when you say you love Me. I want true gratitude when you say you adore Me. And if you won't talk to Me, I can make you talk to me."

He he he.

I guess I don't have the answer. Perhaps if I was cast overboard like Mr. Ikhlas, I may find the answer. But maybe this form of oceanic intervention is not for everyone. "Do this to Taufiq?" an Angel might inquire God. "O' God, he will sink like a stone."

He he he.

Have a happy new year and may you find new fulfillment talking to God, sunshine. I am told He listens.  All the time.

wa min Allah at-taufiq

Hate has no place in Islam

Love will show the Way 

A LIFE IN ETERNITY

Life in Eternity

Time, ticking slowly on the wall is an illusion

For those who have awaken to the realisation

That eternity has already begun...

And thus they are already living a life in eternity,

So what ails thee that 

they may wear this garb or that garb?

.......................

You! Here?! I think we best overcome the test of this life when we know that each and every single person that we meet, we shall meet in the afterlife. Imagine that! Having to spend an eternity with the neighbour you hate, or the mother-in-law you dislike, or the love rival you detest. Thus, it would be good to keep our report book clean and unblemished, no secret hatred, no malice, no condemnation on another fellow human being. It is hard... but we must try, yes?

Alhamdulillah! And it is also good to remember that we shall also be reunited with our dearly departed - our mothers and fathers who cared for us. Our sisters and brother... friends, cousins, aunts and uncles. And our masters, to whom we have sworn love and devotion. We only ask that we are blessed with mercy (for we have done so many sins and forgotten ourselves), so that we are brought to the company of the saints and the saintly, and into the Divine Presence of Allah (swt) and His Beloved Muhammad (saws).

al-fatiha...

Goodnight, sunshine. Have a beautiful eternity tomorrow and everlasting...

wa min Allah at-taufiq

Hate has no place in Islam

Love will show the Way

GIVE YOUR SALAM (GREETINGS OF PEACE) EVEN TO YOUR ENEMY...

Dear You,

You have hurt me,

In your words and deeds,

So my mind turns to you,

To dig deep into you and

Find out why you say what you said

And do what you did...

Some dark past, a bitter history

To make you thus unkind to me?

And what did I uncover instead?

I peered into your diary

And saw you had your good days,

And you had your bad days,

And on some days, you wondered why God 

Even bothered waking you in the morning,

I saw your petty crimes and pretty lies,

And in between I saw your kindness 

And forgiveness residing still in your eyes,

So neither precious stones, silver nor gold

Did I find in the depth of your earth,

Rather, I found you had a soul...

Still recognizably human

Though tired and old,

And it is thus how I found you...

Not altogether good,

Not altogether a bad, 

And in finding a little of your soul,

I recognised in you, a little of me,

Just another wanderer

 Walking in from the cold...

............................

The Veil of Separation Between Us. We have personal identities, separate and distinct from one another. There is the 'me' and the 'you', not to mention the 'us' and the 'them'. But this distinction is only true at the very most shallow end of our ocean of understanding. The truth is that human beings are much more porous and absorbent than we care to admit. We are like a sponge, absorbing our surroundings and the people we interact with.

Understanding Through Prosperity and Adversity. So we are asking Allah (swt) and His Prophet (saws) to bring us to favourable circumstances and in the company of favoured souls. But we are also asking God the Illuminating One to teach us humility and understanding if life in testing company and circumstances is to be our fate. For in both conditions of 'prosperity' and 'adversity' there is much to learn of our soul, and the mettle of our courage and patience.

Peace. So give salam (greetings of peace) even to your enemy(assuming you have one), for he holds within him an understanding of your own self. And truth be told, how you act with someone you disagree with can reveal more of you than the manner you act with someone you adore...

Do you not agree, sunshine?

wa min Allah at-taufiq

Hate has no place in Islam

Love will show the Way

GOD MOST FAIR, FAIR EVEN UNTO THE DEVIL - the Power of Remembrance and the Gift of Forgetfulness

The Devil

I don't hate the Devil,

But I hate what he does.

I hate his conspiracies to spread

The corruption, the oppression,

The lies, the violence, the selfishness,

The exploitation, the wars, the genocides,

The murders, the rapes, the insults and jibes,

The confusion, the hubris and the ignorance of mankind,

Seeding in our society envy and anarchy,

But most of all, I hate what he does

Because he makes me hate me...

And makes me despair of my own humanity.

So this begs another question...

Why do I listen to him?

...................

The Devil is real. I think we should be very clear about this. He is not some intangible malevolent force in the human consciousness, like a typhoon blazing destruction across the plains of your soul. Mr. D has a personality, he is intelligent, belligerent and has amassed countless years of experience to hone his skill in his job description - which is to morally corrupt all children of Adam and Eve, and lead them to utter spiritual and physical annihilation. 

But we are also not stupid. God All Wise, in His wisdom has given us akal, the cerebral faculty to reason things out, to weigh the pros and cons of our actions (or inactions), to judge which is the best path to take, and to learn from our own history, the History of Man that is often bloodied with wars, oppression, xenophobia, hubris, ignorance and hate, but are also shining with beautiful examples of messengers, prophets, saints and everyday simple people who were hardworking and intelligent, grateful and worshipful to their Maker, aka God Almighty. Surely, with such knowledge of our shared past, we would not fall to the deceit and dark whispering of Beelzebub.

Old Tricks New Suckers. But we do fall for his tricks, again and again. On a daily basis. Perhaps not murdering, pillaging or robbing a bank... but small 'white sins' that this sinner himself must admit to. I leave it to your imagination to contemplate this.

The Power of Remembrance. Which goes back to our enemy. If only we can always remember... remember God, remember our beloved Prophet, remember the kindness of our parents and siblings, the tolerance of our friends... remember the common history shared by all humanity... and learn from the lessons that our past can teach us...  how would the Devil fool us?

He won't be able to. 

But this would not fit God's plan for us.

The Gift of Forgetfulness. So I guess that is why we are also built with the capacity to forget. To give the Devil the opportunity to fool us and to corrupt us. So you see, God has leveled the playing field between Adam's Children and the Devil to give the Devil an even chance defeat mankind. Which goes without saying that Allah (swt), aka God Almighty is the fairest of them all... fair even unto the Devil himself.

And this also speaks of another thing... God's belief in us and in our inherent courage and goodness, that  mercy-rich fitra (essence) of Muhammad (saws) that is in all humanity (not just them Muslims).  

So perhaps we should remember all this and believe in God too.

I am trying. In my inevitably bumbling and clownish way. 

Some Shaykh: "O' Taufiq. If you clown around too much, you will always
risk dropping and shattering your heart. I am here to help you, but
what if I am not? What then?
The Clown: You will always be here, wherever you may be...

wa min Allah at-taufiq

Hate has no place in Islam

Love will show the Way

LAYLA'S LAMENT - God, Man, Love and the Language of Music

Layla's Lament

Oh Majnun, 

Say not that you love me, 

And Majnun, 

Say not that you care, 

For it is you 

Who has always denied me, 

So couch no lies in your words so fair,

Oh Majnun, 

Say not that you seek me, 

And in your search 

Oh how you despair, 

For I am always

There beside you, 

It is you who act 

Like I am not there,

Oh Majnun, 

Say not that you believe, 

And in your heart 

You do not deceive, 

For I am often 

The One lied to, 

Oh, how shall it be 

If I am as untrue? 

Oh Majnun, 

How hollow is your smile, 

For in your life 

You mix truth with your lies, 

And the crown that you wear 

Was never meant for you, 

And the path you choose 

Will take you no where. 

.......................

A Love Story. Everyone (I assume) have heard or read the story of Layla and Majnun. About the poor love-struck Majnun who was utterly, helplessly besotted with Layla, a woman with the unfortunate condition of being someone else's wife. Uh oh. Trouble.

Adam, my nephew, recording Layla's Lament first rough (very rough) cut.
We have passed it on to our singer and composer friend, Azri to flesh out
the song and add a little sparkle. 

God and Man. The story of Layla and Majnun was also read and interpreted as a parable of the love between Man and God. And it is in this context that Layla's Lament was written, way back in 21st November 2005. The date was in fact its original title, and just to add another level of myopia, the poem also had a second name, being 'Qubruz Bluez 2'. So Layla's Lament is its third and final (let's hope so!) incarnation.

I am forced to this rare change because the poem is being adapted for music, and let's face it... '21st November 2005 (Qubruz Bluez 2)' is a little long and vague for a song title. I am no musician, but with a little help from some very gifted friends, we hope to have an acceptable song within the next couple of months. 

My Infidelity. And I guess this is where I must confess... that I have been spending a lot of my free time working on the lyric and music for Layla's Lament. I am having an adulterous affair with music, leaving this almanac untouched for days on end. And it is not just Layla... but many, many other songs and prose, including instrumentals that have torn my attention away from my writing. I have been a bad, bad boy.

But to be honest... At 43, I am thankful to God Almighty and the Prophet (saws) for giving me another chance. Reawakening an ancient passion to fill my days. For I am enjoying becoming a student once again... learning the language of music, making my first untutored, awkward steps to God-knows-what-end. And finding the infinite space in the syllable of each word that is uttered or sang with love. 

184. Cathedral of Beauty

If Layla had not sent Majnun to guide us,

How long would we stray still in the temples of lesser devotions,

Never to set foot in the Cathedral of Beauty?

..............................

I have the story already, you see. Thousands upon thousands. But now I want someone to sing it!

Wish me luck, sunshine, in this new adventure, and for those still yet unknown who will be my travelling companions in this journey.

wa min Allah at-taufiq

Hate has no place in Islam

Love will show the Way

IF THIS WORLD IS A DISH, ALLAH IS THE PLEASURE - war, conflict, politics... what of such trivial things?

...And Win

Lay to rest thy weary mind,

Ever in conflict with this world unkind,

Brothers fighting shouting aloud,

"This is not thine! This is mine!"

Lay to rest your sword of right,

Forget the glories that might have been, 

Say to the rabble, "This is not my fight,"

Turn to God, turn to the Prophet 

Know thyself 

And win.

....................

Every spoken word, written or heard, if it does not meander its way ultimately to the only true worthy thing that you can gain in this world, why say such a word? And why bother to write or read it?

Beautiful Garnish. It is this driving love, that propels the dervish, the sufis, the mystics to disdain wasted words, and wasted breaths. For the shining beacon on the shore of this world is Allah (swt) and His Muhammad (saws), the only true absolute discovery that you may ever find through this transient and illusory world. Everything else are only beautiful garnish and signposts to mark your way to God Almighty and His Messenger (saws).

This is not my war. The newspaper, today, yesterday and tomorrow will be full of hateful things, hateful people and hateful conflict. But this is not your war. This is not your conflict. The very definition of words and names for which people are killing or killed does not resonate in your heart. Money, power, religious authority, political gain, global domination, usurious profit and exploitation of the world are words meaningless to you.

Allah the Most Compassionate and Most Merciful has already picked you, and your eyes are forever drawn to the unseen and unknowable behind the curtain.  

This divine love does not make you an alien to this world. It does not leave you loveless with no affection for this world and its inhabitants. It will make you and those you touch better...

How blessed you are, sunshine!

wa min Allah at-taufiq

Hate has no place in Islam

Love will show the Way

SAILING THE SEA OF MATRIMONY - all roads and all knowledge inevitably leads to Hu... and to you.

1. Universe Within

Galaxies swim within my veins,

Stars make home in each cell of my body,

Cosmic winds rise from my lips,

As creation mingle sweetly in my eyes.

                                                     

                                  I am the intangible vessel,                                 

The wandering soul,

Tasked to find and record,

The Speech of the One.

I am the broken vessel,

Holed below my waterline,

Sailing an unbroken sea,

With a smile and verily, a fool’s hope!

.............................

If you are reading this, know that you are reading the memoirs of a fool. But alhamdulillah you are with a smiling fool. 

I don't know about anyone else, but I am contented to be a fool than a morose scholar, forever crying "Oh woe! Oh sadness! Oh, the things that I know!!" . Instead I am happy to constantly be amused, astonished and struck speechless by this life, on a course set by Him., until the day that it pleases Him to take me back.

But as I am still alive and writing, I guess there are still secrets and surprises left to be uncovered. And in the entwined limbs of lovers in rapture there are secrets to know, for there is nothing of value if that thing does not take you closer in your understanding of God Almighty.

Whether you are sailing across an ocean or the stormy waters of the matrimonial bed, seek God!

Consummated passion and more importantly, safety, is there. 

He he he. And to grease the machinery of your impending marriage (assuming you are getting wed) do remember this fine line spoken by a friend of mine to his betrothed...

Dear Love,

Our contract of marriage is a strange thing,
For the definitions are waiting to be explored,
The meaning of words and names are waiting to be written...

So write me, and who I am,

For I am without meaning until you tell me

What I mean to you...  

..............................................

wa min Allah at-taufiq

Hate has no place in Islam

Love will show the Way