Grappling with Death
I saw Death walked through the door.
Did the nurses not see him?
As he came close to my friend
I grabbed him and held him tight.
"Do not hinder me." Death said.
"Were I come to you tonight, would you fight me?
Would you struggle to remain imprisoned in this world?"
I shook my head.
"Thus why do you stand between me and my duty?
"I have plans for us, he and I." I answered.
"But if you trade places now, would you want him
To obstruct me in my duty?
Knowing that I am but a gatekeeper?
Knowing that I am only a servant at the threshold of the Lord?
That I am the necessary path to your Lord and His Beloved?"
Death came close to a smile as he can, and said.
"So be it. Now, let go of me. For I am not attending to him tonight.
My engagement is with the gentleman in the next bed.
You really ought not to be so emotional, Notrumi."
When Ignorance is a Mercy. Who knows when Death will come? People sometimes think it is a sword of doom, ever hanging over our heads, waiting to slice off our tenuous grip to life. It can be a car accident. It can be death in the battlefield, or perhaps choking on a peanut. From the profound, to the profane to the mundane, death comes to us in all sorts of guises.
But God desires to be known as the God of Mercy, not Doom. Certainly not for us human beings, after He has taken such trouble (though it is of course, no trouble at all for Him...) to create us in our skins, flesh and bones. How would it be for you, were you to know your exact moment of death? Let me tell you that for me it would be an oppressive knowledge to carry. I suspect it will drive many of us mad with paranoia and fear.
So do not fret nor fear your ignorance of your impending date with Azrail (as). Death is mercy, and the fact that you do not know when your lease on life expires is also a mercy.
And of course, the truth is not even the pen of Notrumi can hold back for even one nano-second his own time of death, much less that of his friend, however exalted or dear.
Yet, such treasonous thoughts entered his mind last night. May Allah (swt) forgive me for even contemplating them. Happiness is only with you, ya Rabbi! Intimacy is only through Your Muhammad Habibullah (saws), Your own Sea of Intimacy for the poor humanity!
Hu Hu Hu.
wa min Allah at-taufiq
-Notrumi Embun, 6th June 2014
Hate has no place in Islam
Love will show the Way