Do not look to the past,
And do not ask,
Could I have said this instead?
Could I have done something else?
Why did I not simply wait?
Could I have spared that dime?
Could I have made amends,
And said I am sorry a thousand times?
Perhaps this would be what my late brother would tell me now. And I think I must agree with him. I am not interested to live through the past regrets and wasted opportunities of my life (I am too lazy). But I think we can change the past by learning to apply it in the present. Let me explain...
Oranges. Yesterday, while having an after dinner cigarette with my dad (who is turning 80 next year), he passed me a plate of sliced oranges. "This is good..." He said. I balked, because I actually stole a slice earlier from the fridge, and oh boy, was it sour. But then I recall the last conversation I had with Abang Chik (whom you call Poone). He was asking me (for a second time) to eat the tuna sandwich that he bought earlier that afternoon. And for a second time I said no - first I declined because I just had lunch, and I said no for the second and last time because we were already going out to dinner. A dinner which we were all destined not to have when arwah Poone suddenly passed away just as we were about to leave our house on that rainy evening on 14th September.
"So what if this is the last orange that my father might offer me?" The thought crossed my mind. After all, if Poone could go so suddenly, why not me, and why not my dad. "Perhaps this would be the last dinner we shall ever have together in this life?". Oh boy, the drama, the weighty issues at hand.
So yes. I had that orange. A couple of slices actually.
And yes. It was still damn sour.
Appreciate every second of your life, sunshine. And every second of your kin and friends' time here. It will not last forever. Don't be like me and take everything for granted.
A Caveat about the Sinners' Almanac - Just a short reminder before I leave you... You know, I often share stories about my life here. And some of them appear to make me out to be a decent sort of fella. I am not sure I am. For just like the man who posts on his Facebook wall, pictures of him going to the gym, you must ask yourself about the number of times that he hasn't actually gone to the gym (he he he). He is not going to post pictures of him lazing on the sofa in front of the TV. I think I am like that man.
But you know... I am trying.
Have a lovely sabbath.
wa min Allah at-taufiq
Hate has no place in Islam
Love will show the Way