Sunday, February 27, 2011

Happiness is the Nemesis of Doubt

1. By Myself
By myself
I am aimless,
A driftwood,
Claimed by a tide,
And overcome
With grief,

By myself
I am lost,
An orphan
In the witch’s forest,
A deer, in the crosshair
Of the hunter’s gun.

By myself
I am dead,
Alive but breathless,
Rich in pain
In fear of the sun,
Running from the rain.

By myself,
I have no home
Nor journey’s end,
The soles of my feet,
Red and raw
Walking on the stones of judgment
That paved the road
Of my endless wandering.

By myself,
I ever hunger,
And were creation
Turned inside out,
It would not be enough
To sate my desire.

By myself,
I am all these
And more.

That is why,
O’ Master,
You find me now,
Beggarly and weather-beaten,
Knocking on your door,
Asking to be let in.

IT IS NOT YOUR JOB TO CONVERT ANYONE. 'I bow to no man. I bow only to God.' - This is the common reason for many people who disdain the Path and claim Sufis and mystics of other religon as idolizing their masters. That is fine because the Path is not for everyone and really, so long as they are not bothering you, and you are not trying to convert anyone, why let such disputes poison your relationship. Swallow that spiritual pride and accept their difference of opinion.
DISAGREEMENT. I recall reading a hadis (Prophet's saying) where he is said to have uttered -"Disagreement amongst my Ummah (Nation) is a beneficial thing." I have always wondered what is meant by that. The prose below hints at my untutored opinion...

4. 19th October 2004, Part II
Allah loves the sport
Of two friends
Who compete
Against each other
To extol
Their particular blessings
From their Benefactor!

It rained this Sunday, but the evening air is still warm and balmy. I should really shower now. By your permission, sunshine, I leave you with whatever agreement or disagreement that you may have with me. It matters not to me one iota - so long as you yourself are happy, and not stricken with doubt. For doubt is the nemesis of happiness as Happiness itself is the Nemesis of Doubt...

Pax Taufiqa.
Footnote (11.59pm) - I guess the conventional view is that you first remove doubt, then you get happiness. The aspirant attains yaqin (certainty), removing whatever suspicion and uncertainty which he/she used to entertain in the past. From certainty, you attain happiness. This process of doubt-certainty-happiness is commonly accepted to be the norm. But like many, many concepts contained in Islamic lore, whoever said that things should always run in one direction?
In my dealings with the friends, I have come across personal perceptions which do not question the individual milestones, but nonetheless rearrange the order in which such milestones is suppose to occur.
Above all, I think that when it comes to Love, it is an indefinable process. And I am not surprised that sometimes... It is Joy that overtakes you first, overcoming whatever doubt you may have as to the Absolute Loveliness of the Lord and His Abiding Concern for you. So the milestone is amended to become doubt-happiness-certainty. Because simply put - when you fall in love, it is often for an intangible and inexplicable reason, and sometimes perhaps no clear definite reason at all! This thing that I am saying... It is an easy task for our Creator to do with our hearts. Of this I am certain.

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