Thursday, December 16, 2010

Why do I have to tell you (that I love you)?

1. Why do I have to tell you (that I love you)?
Tell me why,
Tell me your reasons,
Why, after all these years,
You need to know
And to hear I say,
That I love you.

Tell me why,
And what compelled you
To forget me, to dismiss me
From your mind.

And now you say you are lonely,
Now you tell me that you are sad,
And that you need to hear me say,
I love you
One more time.

I am sorry,
I cannot do that,
For the truth is,
I have never stopped saying
I love you,

But you,
You cannot hear me
Because you do not believe me,

Disbelief has made you deaf,

So believe

And be deaf no longer.

One night, I found the above words written on the walls of my soul. Have you seen these words before? The lovers of God (of all faiths and denominations) make a habit of singing their lamentable yearning for God. This poem appears to be a reply.

WISHING AWAY GOD. I am often guilty of feeling miserable. It is ALWAYS because I forgot myself, and thereon, I forgot God. Whether motivated by greed, selfishness, jealousy, impatience or anger, my mind would wish away God, thinking away the lessons of the Prophets, ignoring all the wisdom that my pater and mater had taught me.

WISHING AWAY MYSELF. But in truth, we cannot wish away God. What has happened is that I, Taufiq, has exiled myself from the Kingdom of Happiness – simply because I choose myself and my ego over God, and over others to whom I owe a duty of brotherhood. I have separated myself from mankind, attaching myself instead to the false nation of mancruel.

I wish I could direct this post to all whom I have failed in the past. If you are one of them, please accept my apologies, kiss my forehead, take my hand and lead me back through the gates of forgiveness.

I am wistful today. Maybe because I am a little tired. I take solace in the comforting warmth of your embrace, my friends.

Thank you, sunshine.

Pax Taufiqa.

Footnote: Poem is from Chapter 33 ‘Hear Me’, completed 12th day of August, 2008. I guess this posting is a sequel to my earlier posting entitled 'Believing in God and Believing God is not the same thing'. Click here.

No comments: