Envy and the 'New You'
Don't ask for a 'new you',
Ask God to help you reveal
Yourself as you truly are,
As God meant you to be,
Each morning, each day and night
This words come again and again to me,
Harassed as I am in my despondency and envy.
Envy. I don't talk much about it, much less write it. I guess you can call it a sister or brother to pride / the ego. It is certainly a close relation, because just like our ego, it comes from an overwhelming sense of entitlement. Envy is the poison in the well, the hemlock in Socrates's cup, the overcast cloud that ever threatens your daily happiness.
Envy makes prayers dull and dry, and knowledge a burden. It has the ability to change your best of intentions into a warped hateful thing. What can I do??
History and His Mercy
Grab your envy,
Hold it tightly to yourself,
Then... in the name of God, Most Gracious, Most Merciful
Leap off the cliff of your hurt pride
Into God's Mercy Ocean.
And surrender to history.
There is some solace, some balm for this poison. And I think you may find it reading and contemplating the history of the Prophet (s.a.w.s.) and his Companions and Saints. For in their history, we can reflect upon our own still-to-be-finished story and why that as long as we still have breath, we have opportunity. Well, it works for me... So I am going to read a good book today.
wa min Allah at-taufiq
Hate and Envy has no place in Islam
Love will show the Way