As I mentioned earlier, my late mother's Tahlil (traditional prayers for the dearly departed) for the 10th Anniversary of her passing happened today. As I was driving to pick up Heche in the morning to help out with the prep, I was thinking. And I was dreaming...
I looked out at the sky, and I thought "Hmm.. beautiful. I hope everything will be as beautiful throughout the Tahlil.."
In the short five minutes drive, I wrote a speech in my head for the Tahlil. I did not recite it in the end, but I still remember the emotion, etched as it is in my memory. So I would like to share the prose with you, though those who attended the small function did not. Here it is, aptly called...
THE TAHLIL SPEECH THAT DID NOT HAPPEN
The world distracts me with its jewels and baubles,
With its fine trinkets and beautiful stones,
But ever since my mother has passed on,
This world is not truly my home…
I follow those who are attending
To the affairs of the dead
And those yet to be born,
For they are the ones who
Are truly alive in this moment
Which is here and very soon gone!
We are nothing but a wisp of thought
In the Cradle of God’s Imagination,
Not fit for His estimation but saved
By the prayers of our ancestors,
And the prayers of those
Who are destined
My mother who loved you all,
Died with her love undiminished,
And as I look at each one of you here,
And at each one of you who are not here,
MasyaAllah… now I know how she loved you so!
For you appear to me so beautiful,
So sincere and wonderful,
From the top of your heads
To your pinky little toes!
You are defined by your relationship with people. But perhaps there are few relationships that are more defining than the relationship you have with your mother. I do not consider myself a good son while she was alive. But she was a wonderful mum to me and my brothers.
As I walked Mikhail up to bed early tonight (he has a slight temperature, poor guy), I asked him, "Well, did you see Tok (grandma) today?" He replied, "Tok? But she is in the grave, Papa." Good point. So I asked again, "Did you feel Tok then?", to which he said, "I felt a tingle inside me during the du'a (prayers). Was that her?"
And I answered, "Yes, Mikhail."
Thank you for coming to this 'online' Tahlil, sunshine. You are my guests, and I am your humble host of the Sinners' Almanac. Welcome, welcome, welcome!
wa min Allah at-taufiq
Hate has no place in Islam
Love will show the Way.