Tuesday, March 6, 2012

How To Say Sorry - an observation of men and our misuse of the word...

The Real World -
When caught red-handed by their wives/GFs, men do not realize they are like the spy captured by the secret police. They are in fact right now in the interrogation room, with the spotlight blazing at their guilty faces. But there is no double team of ‘good cop’ and ‘bad cop’ here. There is only one cop, and good or bad, she is the woman you have aggrieved and hurt. And she wants only to hear you say you are sorry. Nothing more, nothing less. But men, often being the na├»ve creatures of low cunning that we think we are, figure that we can somehow get out of a complete and unconditional apology by qualifying. Oh boy...
Interpretation: IF? You are hedging your apology by implying that I am unreasonable in feeling hurt because of what you did. Can your apology be more insincere and condescending that this?
Interpretation: BUT? Don’t tell me your qualification and excuses.
When you say sorry, just say ‘I am sorry’ and full-stop.
I know everything there is to know about you already…
So not only are you not sorry at all, but now you are insulting my intelligence!
This 'un-Apology' is courtesy of Ms. Denise. (See comments below)

The Perfect World -
In the perfect world, men will say “I am sorry” and stop at that. And in the almost-perfect world, women will only hear men say “I am sorry” and hear nothing more after that, regardless of what men actually say.
The Perfect World
The Almost-Perfect World, where women have a mute button...

So now (if I remember my own advice), I just say "I am sorry.", without garnishes or trimmings. I have also   learned to forget expecting (or even worse, asking) the woman to forgive me soon. You gotta give her time to make me feel like an eel. That's fair enough, considering what I did.

Have a forgiving day, sunshine.

Pax Taufiqa

Hate has no place in Islam
Love will show the Way

1 comment:

Denise Emanuel Clemen said...

Yes.

And another crap "apology:" I'm sorry you feel that way.

Ugh.

A wonderful post.