Tuesday, February 28, 2012

Stop talking. I want to listen to what you are NOT saying.

Oh, him? He is always truthful.
But his glass is always half full.

Conversations are SO yesterday.
I find conversations are SO yesterday. I find what is not said more fascinating then what is said. Because when we react to what people say, where is the fun in that? It is so OBVIOUS, or then again... not obvious, because I do believe that people only disclose some 20% of the truth (truth that is according to their understanding). The balance 80% can be discerned in their behaviour, their action and inaction, their prejudices, their habits, attitude and where they are physically located.

Where do I get the 20% disclosure : 80% non-disclosure ratio? I am just guessing, but since words are so limited in their meaning, verbalizing your intention or situation is innately limited by your vocabulary. And that is simply about words. You also have your economic, social and religious vocabularies which not only allow yourself to express your feelings, but also inhibit such expressions. You want to be 'kind' or 'polite', and sometimes you do not want to disclose just how selfish you are, or you want to appear 'pious' or 'fair' or 'smart'. And at most times you are not even aware of being self-conscious at all. Yes, I think 20% is a good estimate, perhaps even an over-estimation of our frankness. After all, you can be honest but not necessarily frank.

Self-centred Words
Me, I can tell you right now that I am self-conscious and even self-centred. I have little scruples to hide that fact. I have none because such fact can be easily implied in my writing and sketches. And of course there are a lot of personal projections in what I say. Projections are not truths, they are merely verbalised intentions. Like "I believe in God." If you hear me say that, then that is only at most 20% of the truth. God knows what the balance 80% would really disclose about my feelings or thoughts about God. No, I am right I believe. What we say is such a little part of what we actually and truly are... It is almost like lying, save that we don't actually intend to lie, our mental faculties are simply not constructed to regurgitate the complete truth. We just utter bite size nuggets of truths of who and what we are. And often the disclosure is designed for some personal agenda or aim.

So I think it is a good idea to listen to what people are NOT saying. It saves the trouble of us finding out later that they have not told us the complete truth. We are not condemning anyone but empathizing with people because of the simple truth that we are never perfectly truthful, even when we try the hardest to be. 

But am I telling the complete truth now?

I am not telling.


Have a nice day, sunshine.

Pax Taufiqa

Hate has no place in Islam.
Love will show the Way.

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