Saturday, May 21, 2011

When Your Father is a Day-Dreamer, You Better be a Real Trooper

A couple of years back, I think Mikhail was about 5 years old when I accidentally closed the driver’s door of my little hatchback on my little son’s fingers. I did not notice that he had placed his hand on the edge of the rear door and when I turn around, he was already screaming and crying.

Lucky for us that there was a gap between the two doors so neither was his finger cut or his nail torn off. Mika cried, he bawled, but in 10 minutes he was sitting in the sofa, sniffling quietly and watching tv. The doctor who examined him later said that there was no permanent injury, just some swelling which should abate in a day or so. But my own feeling of guilt did not end. Remembering how Mikhail kept on saying, “Sorry, Papa… sorry, Papaa…” (as if it’s his fault) in between his heart-breaking sobs, it just made me feel worst.

I felt like a complete moron. A fool of a father, a day-dreaming daddy… and just for that moment in time before the accident occurred, how I wished that I was perfect. That I had eyes on the back of my neck and saw what Mika was doing. Or at the very least attentive of the fact that when you are closing doors and a 5 year old is in the vicinity, it’s always a good idea to know where he exactly is and what is he doing before closing the door shut.

9. Perfection – parental accidental (Ran)
The Lord is necessarily perfect,
In Love and Devotion,
To compensate for our imperfections.

O’ fathers who curse in grief,
O’ mothers who faint in despair,
See the parables in yourselves,
And within your sons and daughters!

I ended the day thankful that Mika was not terribly injured. That he had innards of steel beneath his skin - a real trooper. So perhaps that is the lesson to be learnt on that day. That and the fact that as a father, I need to be more aware of my surrounding.

And Perfection? God is Perfect not because He stops accidents from happening (obviously He doesn’t Do that). He is Perfect in guiding us to better understand ourselves and our children. And guiding us to the beautiful virtues on display by fathers and mothers all around the world. Within the lesson that we learn, sometimes hard lessons, sometimes soft lessons, is the Delicate Reality of God’s Divine Beauty and His Love for all His creation. I am happy that God is God that way.

Pax Taufiqa.

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