Your humble sinner is not immune to such feelings. He is troubled as you are troubled by the daily contretemps which dot our lives. He dislikes not being able to pay his credit card bills on time. He gets tired of reading the awful news in the papers today. He worries about the health of his son. He misses his friends and family whom he sees way too little. And in spite of his professed love for his mother, he doesn’t even visit her grave often enough.
But I cannot blame God. Everything which I have listed above, are something I can work on. I can control my budget. I can stop reading the newspaper. I can take better care of Mika. I can visit my friends and family more. And of course, I can find the time to spend some time, sitting by the foot of my mother’s grave, and listen to the heavenly discourse which tinkles in the cemetery like church bells.
I would like to go on and on and on writing this posting in this sorrowful tone. But I cannot. Because my son, Mikhail has planted himself (and his laptop) next to me and is saying and asking “Papa, do you think… Papa, can you guess… Papa, I work for the British… Papa, isn’t it funny… Papa, should I have a ground battle or sea battle… Papa, in the information age they...” Its all Papa, Papa, Papa now. And it sounds like God is knocking on my door (He often does that), tapping a Morse code message – “With a son like this, how can you be so unhappy?”
When I started writing this post about 40 minutes ago, I pondered in the well of my soul – I wonder how long God will let me feel miserable. Hehehe. So, not very long is the answer. I am glad this experiment had a happy ending. But then again, I had little doubt that this would be.
We cannot run away from sadness or happiness. We are after all, mortals. And true happiness and contentment is in the embrace of Divine Remembrance. But sometimes we are just so confused (as I often am) that we forget God. Happily, He never forgets us. And He is always knocking on the door of our heart. And He taps a happy tune of Divine Love, Compassion, Mercy and Forgiveness. And it is a Powerful tune.
May you enjoy your Sunday in the Presence of our beloved God Most-Awesome. He normally announces His Presence through a medium, you know – it can be your son, your daughter, your brother or sister, your father or mother, your beloved friends or your lover. Or perhaps all of them?