Wednesday, June 29, 2011


Finding Muhammad
If you cannot find Muhammad,
How will you ever find yourself?

And if you do not find yourself,
How will you ever find Muhammad?

But help is at hand,
From who else but him…?

Even if my nation has lost me,
I have not lost my nation.

I took my journal entitled ‘Candy from the Ahad Candy Store’ home (Ahad being one of the names of God meaning, (to paraphrase some definitions) the infinite limitless one, an utterly unique singularity unfragmented into parts, beyond our mortal concept of one and oneness). And before sleeping I came across the above prose.

‘Even if my nation has lost me.’ And more than a year has passed since I recorded the prose, and the feeling which animated the words is truer now than ever. Each passing day has brought terrible news in the media, as some Muslims declare war on practically everyone else, while other Muslims have declared war on each other. And often they do so in the name of Islam, and for each example I turn away from their rabid violence and mindless slaughter, for what they do I cannot countenance and cannot agree with.

If it appears that I am a liberal moderate progressive Muslim, I really don't think I am such a Muslim. Indeed, I worry about even presuming my faith because at this juncture in my life, I am just endeavouring to be decent, and being a Muslim, while it is my intention, is in a far distant beautiful horizon. It is not for me to say with certainty what I am (Hu knows? Hehehe - old Sufi joke 'Hu' means 'He' in Arabic) – What I am prepared to declare with certainty (yakin) is that God is Most Compassionate and Most Merciful, and that God had declared this gentleman called Muhammad as His Messenger and Mercy to the Worlds. As for me, you must accept me as a sinner, warts and all. I wish I had a better me to present to you, sunshine, but I don’t. So I am thankful that you can accept me as I am.

‘I have not lost my nation.’ It is my greatest joy to believe in this statement. And the witnesses that have bore witness to this truth of Prophetic Deliverance comes from all sorts of background, faith, nationality, race and ice-cream preferences. These are men and women I have come across in my life, who have chosen to live their lives guided by their heart and their conscience, remaking this sometimes-awful world in the mould of their hearts. And even if they believe in some other name for the Prophetic Fitrah (essence / character), it is my cherished belief that the mould is filled with The Light upon Light, and God’s own golden treasure buried in the soil of your mortal shell and enthroned upon the immortal throne for the Beloved which we all hide in ourselves. And really, sometimes the light is so bright shining from within you… that I stumble uttering his name, and just say, "It is He (Hu)!"

We are not interested are we, sunshine, in the games played by preachers and professional God-botherers who do nothing but divide the flock between the ‘us and them’, and the ‘you and I’? For we have passed through the false gates and fences of these foolish men and their foolish sermons. We are but sheep in a multitude of sheep in the Flock of God. God has not given up on us. And to continue borrowing the beautiful Christian phrase – I would like to believe that He is our Shepherd and though we may appear to have lost Him, certainly He has not lost us. Of this I am yakin.

God bless you, sunshine.

Pax Taufiqa.

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