Tuesday, June 7, 2011

The Gift, the Test and the DpEE (Divine Presence Entrance Examination)

The Gift

SWEEP. I like to make sweeping statements. It is the virtue of being a sinner that I will not be taken seriously, or even if I am, I will simply be ignored as being mad. But this time around I think my proposed statement is fair and acceptable even to the Man of the Clapham Omnibus (English law’s rather vague definition of a ‘reasonable man’). Okay, enough qualifications… the statement is this – Everything in Creation is a Gift. Everything in Creation is a Test.

Pants’ bursting profundity, yes? (“Oh dear God, can he be more pompous? Why am I wasting my time reading this lunatic’s daily prattling?”, I can hear you thinking that in your head.).

GOLD OR COW DUNG? So what do you suggest I take, sunshine? The gold or the dung? I am minded to choose gold. But it depends on the mode of delivery of the gift, you see - if the Angel intends to drop all that gold over me, I might get seriously injured. Also, if people find out I have all that gold, I might be robbed and killed. If I opt for the bovine turd, I will probably just smell worse than normal for a while. And if I have a farm, I will just use it as organic fertilizer (and charge my customers a whopping price for my ‘organic’ produce).

THE ANSWER. The correct answer (as approved by the International Association of Mystics, Savants and Other God-bothering Persons) is of course neither – You are suppose to reply, “I don’t want gold or cow turd, I want only the Divine Presence of God.”

TESTING TIMES. Well, how many people are gonna answer it that way? As a materialistic dude I will surely choose the gold, regardless of the many utilities of cowpat (dried you can use it as fuel). I will rationalize my decision and persuade myself – “I am not gonna change. I am gonna use it for good. I am going to give half away for charity.” Then I would pause thinking, “Or maybe… one-third is enough.” Then I would ponder some more, “Those orphanages are already well patronized by rich people. I think one-tenth is already very generous..., or maybe…”

So you see – it’s a gift. But it’s also a test. And not just any test, but the DpEE test.

DpEE. Have a lovely day, pet. Good luck in your Divine Presence Entry Examination (DpEE) – A test where we are aware of all the right answers, but whether we have the fortitude and strength of conscience to reply the questions the way we know our heart wants to.

So what is my score in the DpEE finals? The examining angel said ‘No Rating’. I wonder what that means…

Pax Taufiqa.

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