Saturday, June 11, 2011

The Revelations of Love - You still love me, right? Even if I am psycho?

LOVE IS A FUNNY OLD THING. It is perhaps the most oft-spoken topic in humanity. Singers sing their woeful songs, directors direct their romcoms, poets cry in anguish as they write the most impossible prose, writers titillate the hearts of teenage girls, and the world over, lovers continue to consummate their love under an apple blossom tree.

So it is really funny when we ourselves fall in love and continue to be surprised by the revelations of love, and how we are abysmally ignorant in the delicate etiquette of love.

ASIAH’S STORY. I was having lunch with my friend, Asiah, and she was talking about the trials and tribulations of getting to know her husband. “In the beginning I found it really hard getting to grip with my hubby’s emo-ness.”, she shared. “I used to call him, you know. When he’s out with his friends. No reason really, simply to know what he’s doing and if he’s okay. But I got such an appalling response. He fumed over the phone, ‘Why do you keep calling me all the time? Do I have to check-in my location every half an hour now?’ So okay-lah (‘-lah’ is a Malaysian suffix, to stress the point), I stopped calling him after that. But then over time, it was HE who would call me out of the blue, complaining, ‘Why didn’t you call me? Don’t you care? Don’t you even want to know whether your husband was fine or not?’

I chuckled and said to Asiah, “You know, your husband sounds just like you!

THE BEAUTIFUL YOU. That is the thing about love, you see. A lot of writers and poets say that love is about disclosing just how wonderful you or your mate is. It is about revealing, layer by layer, hour by hour, the beautiful soul and wonderous creature that is you. Hehehe. That is only half true.

YOU STILL LOVE ME, RIGHT? EVEN THOUGH I AM A LITTLE PSYCHO? Such writers and poets miss out an additional revelation of love – Love is also about baring to your mate just how superhyper-sensitive, temperamental, condescending, arrogant, impatient, perverse, psychotic you can be and the unreasonable and imbalanced personality which you actually possess. And that cannot be helped really. Because love is about being vulnerable. The opportunity of being gutted by the sharp tongue or misdeeds of your lover is the price you pay for falling in love.

LOVER OR ACQUAINTANCE? If you cannot be hurt by your mate’s words or action (no matter your mate had absolutely no intention to do so), then frankly, what you have there is not love. It’s not even friendship. Your lover is merely your acquaintance.

ON THE OTHER HAND… If your mate drives you up the wall. If your mate seems illogical and annoying. If your mate likes to irritate you by pointing out your weaknesses (I am only trying to help!, he or she would insist). If your mate appears to take you for granted. If your mate refuses to listen to sensible advice from you (and you checked with your friends, it IS good advice) but would instantly agree when someone else advises him/her the very same thing. And you feel all this dissatisfaction PAINFULLY in the very core of your volcanic passions for him/her… well then, that is what you call love, sunshine. And it is the best thing in the whole wide world.

AFTER ALL... We should remember that if God was satisfied with perfection, he would have just stuck with the perfect praises of the His angels... rather than being stuck with mankind and our many contrived folly and foolishness... How He must love us so.

So have a lovely argument with your mate, sunshine. I will, when Heche finds out what I wrote here. Hehehe. Isn’t life wonderful?

Pax Taufiqa.

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