Tuesday, November 1, 2011

Hate, Love, Expectations, Attachments and the Cure

"I have a front door, you know." She said.
"But you EXPECT me to come this way. He said.
120. Hate and Love
I was warned,
Beware of becoming

And in the emotions
Which you invest
In the one you
Beware that you don’t turn
Him or her
Into someone
You hate.
If even for
A moment.

Step out of yourself,
Unattach yourself
From the evil
Moment, when
Hate comes your
Way, and your ego
Clings to you
With voracious

For however passionately
You may feel,
Know that, in truth,
It is not your quarrel,
But a quarrel between
Your ego and another’s!

So do not allow your ego
To dominate and deceive you
Until you are unable to
Distinguish the two!

Someone somewhere sometime ago said that there is a thin line between love and hate. And having lived more than 4 decades it is easy to see why. 

Undying love? But I thought you promised that to Kate Winslet already.
PROMISES. When we love someone we invest our time and emotion into that person. We don't know why we actually love someone, but it just happens. So we build attachment and expectations on that poor guy / gal. Perhaps attachment that is too rigid, and expectations that is too high. To make things even more difficult, that guy / gal would normally also build on your expectations. They mean no harm, after all, they love you and want the best for you, but perhaps they do not consider all things sensibly. So they offer to build you your own pyramid or castle, which sadly ends up just being castles in the sky. An intangible dream when you have set your mind on tangible and material dreams.

Love also becomes a pain when you end up being a mutual admiration club, when Love and Life is so much more than that. That is why someone wise once told me, "Old chum, don't only judge her by how she treats you, but by how she treats everyone. There in lies the truth of who she is." I mean you wouldn't want to go out with someone makes you breakfast every morning but strangles little kittens, would you?

EGO. It is for this reason that we are taught to have a healthy respect for our ego and its wiles. For the human ego will render all good deeds meaningless and turn the most beautiful romance into a page in a horror book. If the Devil is our foe, our most important (and most difficult to overcome) nemesis is the ego. For were it not for the ego, even the Devil himself would not have disobeyed God. For it was he who refused to bow before Adam, telling God instead,"Ana khairun minhu", meaning "I am better than He(Adam)."

Yet attachment and expectations are all part of human interaction. And in the writ of Love, we are asked to love with all of our hearts, passionately and sincerely. This is all good, but like all human endeavours, the foundation of our life (and love) must be built on solid beliefs. There are many, but I think these four are perhaps the most important of all -

  • Know God and know yourself.
  • Be in Love and Servanthood towards God.
  • Be in Love and Servanthood towards all mankind.
  • Exemplify tolerance, kindness, mercy and chivalry towards all of Creation.

Hehehe. Not easy, but who said path of the sinner would be easy? But you should try going on the path of saints, now that would a challenge!

Take care, sunshine. And if you are in love, alhamdulillah!

wa min Allah at-taufiq

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