God and the Forgetful Me
Who will know I was here?
Who will read these words
That come stumbling from
My quivering lips,
In helpless awe of
The green glory
Of Thy beautiful world?
While I am not caught
In the web of forgetfulness,
While my mind is free of doubt,
While my heart is still singing,
While every fibre of my being,
Every beating of my heart
Praises Thy Name,
Oh Lord...
Let me share with Thee
How I am delightfully
Besotted in love
With Thee.
I know this will not last,
That come tomorrow some niggling
Contratemp will steal this joy
Away from me.
But, dear Lord,
Let me write this still,
Thus perchance that a reader
Will come across this prose
And our secret he would discover,
And though, I, Thy servant
Will always love Thee imperfectly,
That for this moment at least,
My love for Thee
Shall last
Forever.
I love beauty, and Beatrix Potter (1866 - 1943), the artist and writer of Peter Rabbit loved the Lake District. I was watching a movie about her life entitled Miss Potter, and was quite scandalously moved by the beautiful vista of the Lake District, England caught in camera. Then in the midst of watching her story unfold, Heche called and we spent an hour talking about everything and nothing at all.
In the course of our conversation, I asked Heche if she loved God, to which she honestly replied, "I think I have been conditioned to think I love Him. But really, I don't think I have such a feeling."
"Oh, that is fine, Heche." I answered. "You are just suffering from amnesia. Everyone does. All the time. Including myself."
For these is my theory - Sometime in the distant past, perhaps one or two eternities ago, God created us. And from that moment until we were sprung from our beloved mother's womb, we loved God. We loved Him in a way indescribable, moved with an eternal passion simply by knowing without a single atom of doubt, that firstly, God loves us. And this certainty in knowledge and feeling carried us for the longest time until our fateful birthday. Alas that since then, it is the nature of this world that confuses and distracts us from our First Original Love. But not the most beguiling illusion of this world can totally erase our memory with God. And sometimes, if you are careful and pay attention, that Love would come sweeping from the Divine Presence and momentarily unhinge you from your mortal perch here on earth. And for that brief second, you do remember, and you could honestly say with certainty - Yes, I do love God.
May your life be filled with such moments. That is my hope for you, sunshine, on this Sabbath morning.
wa min Allah at-taufiq.
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