ALL I DO IS WAIT. Wait, wait, wait. If it wasn’t God that I was waiting for, I would be terribly frustrated. But happily, it is God, so the waiting ain’t so bad. Indeed it sometimes doesn’t even feel like waiting. I call this active waiting. Some people call it living.
I AM LYING. I mean, I seem to imply that I am a patient man – and that is so not true. My dearest would find it very difficult to verbalise that I am a patient man. And sometimes, when I am patient I wonder whether I am actually procrastinating. And sometimes, when I am busy living, I wonder whether I am being impatient, too bored waiting for God. Ahh… all these thoughts! Where are they coming from… and where are they taking me?
I think too much? I suspect you may be right, sunshine.
DINNER WITH DAD. I had dinner with my father yesterday. It was just us, as my other brother was taking our nephew Imran to watch the Malaysian national soccer team face Liverpool F.C. and continue its beaten run with English football clubs; 4-0 with Chelsea and 3-0 with Arsenal so far. Anyways, while eating, my dad said, “You, know… this Chinese shop has been here for a long time.”
“Well, at least since 2004, since I started working here.” I interjected.
“Oh no, much earlier. Your late Mama loved this place. We used to eat here before... many, many times.” Then my father paused for a millisecond before stressing, “Right here.”, referring to the table we were sitting at outside the premises.
I think my father is kinda waiting too...
A Poem My Father Wishes He Could Write
Did we not live together for so long?
Did we not bear children from our union?
Did you not try to teach me love?
Did you not sooth my heart
When I am scarred by the world’s fickleness?
Did you not walk each step of my success
And consoled me in my disappointments?
Did you not know each dish that I loved,
Each dish that I disliked, and each dish
That you wish you lived to cook for me?
Did we not travel the world, you and I?
A wife and her grumpy husband?
And does the world now not miss you?
And does the world now not yearn for you,
If only to see you smile for just one last time?
I do not understand why the world doesn’t miss you.
And I certainly do not understand why people say
You were an angel for sticking with me.
You were never my angel.
You were my world.
And I miss you.
Life doesn’t last forever, sunshine. But love, in its many guises goes on and on and on. May we always appreciate our closest and dearest, always.
Have a thoughtful Sunday, pet.